song of the chapter: happier- marshmello ft. bastille

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The park is calm today. No kids, no dogs; just three people were at the park. It turned into four when he sat beside me on the bench that overlooked the city of Seoul.

He puts his hands in his winter coat, looking at the city lights before us, "Hi."

I take a deep breath responding to him, "Hi."

"Sorry that I called you this late." He clears his throat.

I shake my head, placing a strand of hair that had fallen in front of my face behind my ear, "It's okay. Bree told me you asked for my number."

"Yeah, because I needed to talk to you. It would be weird for me to appear at your house alone," he sighed, "you know, because–" he starts.

"You're dating Bree." I finish his sentence.

Jungkook nods, "I wanted to personally call you, so we could meet up somewhere else."

I nod before looking at him for the first time since we had gotten to the park. His long hair was all wavy, it was undulated. He wears a light brown winter coat due to the cold weather. Every time he breathes, the smoke comes out of his mouth and his lips tremble. The moonlight shines on his face features, making them more defined. A smile appears on his features.

"I can feel you staring, Dae." he speaks.

My vision changes from him, back to the city lights. Focus, Dae.

"I–I wasn't." I lie to him.

His chuckle is heard, "Right, whatever floats your boat."

Trying to change the topic of the conversation to the real reason why we are here, I speak, "What did you want to talk about?"

The man sitting on my right side, takes a deep breath, "I wanted to tell you something."

"What?" I ask him.

He turns to me, I turn to him too. We leave a space between us, but still look at each other.

"I wanted to tell you the truth." Jungkook finally lets out.

I furrow my eyebrows, "What do you mean?" I ask him, my voice trembles.

Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, "You deserve to know why I stopped sending you texts," he starts, "why I stopped calling you; why I stopped what we had. It was wrong of me to do so without telling you why." he admits before taking my hands.

I try to get my hands off his, but he holds them in place, "Please," he begins to say, "I need you to listen to me. I've been wanting to tell you for two years."

As much as this hurts, I need to know the real reason why. So I should let him speak.

My hands slightly shake, he caresses the back of my hand with his, "Go ahead, why?" I let him speak.

"Remember when I took you to that restaurant in Busan? Where you said that I was your first boyfriend?" he asks me.

"How is this related to why you stopped talking to me?" I ask, getting mad.

Why?

What does this have to do with that?

Does he need to remind me why it hurts to see him with my cousin, why it will take time for me to move on from him?

Jungkook sighs, "Listen please," he continues holding my hands, "I was your first at everything, I didn't want to hurt you."

He did. He did hurt me.

I stand up, his hands fall to his lap.

I scoff, pacing in front of him, "That's the thing, you did hurt me when you stopped everything out of nowhere." my voice falters, but I hold on.

He stands up too, stepping in front of me, "I know and I regret hurting you, I do," he puts his hands on my shoulders, steadying me in place, "but when I was not sending you as much texts as before, calling you as much as I did; I realized that I was hurting you."

I shook my head, "I understood that you were busy with school back in Busan, you weren't hurting me then because you still checked up on me." I look up at him with glossy eyes.

"I felt like I was by doing so, so I decided to not call or text you anymore," he starts telling me, my heart beats faster, "I declined your calls, your texts and tried to get out of your life, so you could be happier but look at us now." he chuckles before passing his hands through his face.

Wait.

It was all because of a misunderstanding. This can't be true.

I sit down on the bench, silent.

Jungkook sits down next to me, waiting for my reaction.

When I got back from the vacation, we still talked each day. That all changed until we began calling each other, but we were both busy with school since we were both seventeen. I tried calling him every day, even if that meant at late hours of the day. He did too, for a while. When we had officially one month together, I had stopped receiving calls and texts from him. I have always wondered why, what had I done for him to decide that. Now I know what was the real reason.

After a long silence, I speak, "It was all a misunderstanding, then."

"Yeah." he responds.

I turn to him, he has tears in his eyes.

"Why are you crying?" I ask him.

He wipes his tears with his hands, turning his head back towards the city lights, "I hurt you. When you told me to not hurt Bree like I hurt you, I just wanted to tell you the truth then and there." Jungkook raised his hands in despair.

"Jungk–" I put a hand on his shoulder.

He looks at me, his slightly red eyes make me tear up too. His lips tremble, this time not because of the cold. His hands find my waist and he hugs me before saying something I've wanted to hear for two years.

"I'm sorry, Dae. I'm truly sorry," he hugs me tightly, "you didn't deserve to go through what I caused, I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

"It was all a misunderstanding, Jungkook–"

He stops his embrace and looks at me, "I just need to listen to you say that you forgive me, please."

So I respond.

"I do forgive you." I nod.

I forgive him, I do. I forgive him because I still care for him. I care for him, even after two years.

It's going to take time for me to get used to seeing him as my cousin's boyfriend. For Bree I have to hold on and let her be happy. Her happiness is all that matters to me.