🍰 🔒 @katiecakes

I'm so tired

uaap partner dance division

11:10 PM

Coach

Great job, guys!

I know ang tiring nito for you both, but you guys pulled it off!

Proud of you.

See you on Monday! ❤️

❤️ 2

rhein

11:15 PM

hintayin kita dito sa labas

Okay (:

rhein

11:48 PM

Thank you for dropping me off

Ingat ka pauwi and ingat kayo pauwi Bataan

will do

text kita kung gising ka pa

I'll wait for you to get to Burgundy

ok

frannie luv

11:50 PM

Okay I'm home

She left at like 9:30

WDRD

ARE U OK

I feel very emotionally drained

Sobrang emotional ng choreo

It's Dangerously by Charlie Puth

oh

um

Before the break, he was very

Still with me

I see his eyes while we were dancing

Like he's begging me not to

Hurt him

Or to leave him

I don't know. I could be imagining things and he could just be a really great actor

But after our break

He seemed detached

Or he couldn't look me in the eyes na masyado

And parang naddrain din sya sa effort to

not feel anything but the dance?

I don't know

When he was taking me home, wala din sya sa mood

Or he was quieter

Am I overthinking this, Frannie?

honestly katie babes

i don't know :(

I don't know either 🥲

My gosh, ang hirap nito

mahirap kasi flaky yata ang personality ni rhein

parang you have to be careful so he doesn't run from you pag masyado na syang alarmed or scared because of his feelings sayo

Yes

Exactly

rhein

12:20 AM

gising ka pa?

hi, katja

Hi, Rheiner

papunta na kami bataan, si ivan nagddrive

magpapalit kami mamaya

magpapahinga ka na ba? or can i still talk to you?

Talk to me muna

Ikaw? You're not tired?

pagod. double training tayo today tapos may acads pa

tsaka ikaw din for sure, nag-mock defense ka pa

pero nakapagpahinga ako kasama ka. sorry hindi na kita na-date

kailangan ko rin umuwi ng bataan tagal na kong di nakikita ni papa

I'm okay

And it's fine, next week na lang (:

The choreo today was

Intense

mm

heavier compared sa last time

mas mahirap din

🍰 🔒 @katiecakes

Come on, Kate. Ask him outright

rhein

12:29 AM

And si Dein?

sabi nya sobrang galing mo daw

galing daw natin

read

🍰 🔒 @katiecakes

Yan lang?

🍰 🔒 @katiecakes

Overthinking na naman hahahaha fuck.

rhein

12:31 AM

and ofc yung buong team. she's proud

That's great

🍰 🔒 @katiecakes

Iwas na. Iwas na. He'll tell me in his own time

🍰 🔒 @katiecakes

Or umiiwas ako para di ako masaktan? Because I'm scared of his answer kasi baka hindi ako? HAHAHAHAHA shit.

rhein

12:32 AM

Rheiner

You said you don't believe in God

Why do you have a cross necklace?

You never take it off

Even when you change

Or when you shower?

shiet nakakapansin din sya ng mga bagay sakin hahaha

I notice a lot of things about you, yes

It's hard not to

gagu wag /kinilig hahahh

naniniwala ako dati

and binigay lang to sakin

hindi ko tinatanggal para maalala ko ginawa nya sakin

Your mom

hindi naman sa nakakalimutan ko pag wala yung necklace

reminder lang

Why do you do that

To hurt yourself?

no

para maalala ko lang yung galit ko

and in some ways yung

pagmamahal ko sa kanya non

kasi otherwise i'd be indifferent

at ayoko na mangyari yun ulit

Indifferent?

walang pakealam

wala talagang pakealam

wala na talaga akong pakealam sa kanya matagal na

pero ayoko maging ganon sa iba

kasi naging closed off ako

shut off from the world

sinabi ko sayo na hindi kami close ni ate non

sya ang nag-effort sakin

ayoko din makipagclose kay ivan pero nagpupumilit

tapos itong si papa and tito hindi ko naman din masyadong

uh

di katulad ni ate

tapos ikaw...hindi ko na-control

So there was a time when

You didn't care enough to feel anything

yes

literal na wala

But you're one of the most emotional people I know

I mean you feel and embrace your feelings once you acknowledge them. You're honest sa akin

ngayon

dati, hindi

kaya nabigla ako sa sobrang overwhelming ng nararamdaman ko sayo

na never ko naman naramdaman dati kahit kanino

🍰 🔒 @katiecakes

Hopefully that includes Dein. Sana hindi shared services hahahahahhuhu

🍰 🔒 @katiecakes

Bakit parang mas malaki pa chance masagasaan ako kaysa ma-surething? 🥲

rhein

12:50 AM

It would stagger me, too

It did

parang hindi naman

parang ako lang natataranta

What can I do for you to not panic

Because wala ka na din sa mood kanina sa car

Or I couldn't understand what you were feeling

wala

just be there

ikaw lang naman nakakapagkalma sakin

nangyayari lang yung taranta pag di na kita kasama

Would it help to give you more of me?

Kasi nagbigay ka sakin

please

My dad and my mom

We weren't always the happy family we are now

They were at the brink of separating

They used to fight every day

Shouting and crying and throwing things

And even in the car. When my dad was mad he would speed

And I'd hold on to dear life in the backseat and pray we weren't going to crash

I think that's why I turned to dance. To silence

Kasi the fights were usually about

Well, they had me at a young age kasi and we were struggling with money at the time

Dad used to be a Jollibee employee before kasi

And he used to sell encyclopedias sa street

And we weren't fortunate before

Anyway

Then we almost lost my dad in that car accident

Head injury

Surgery

His head got split open

He went out drinking because of another fight with Mom and then he got in the car and drove and

My mom woke me up at 3 in the morning

And she was crying and

She was asking me what if Dad doesn't make it

She hasn't loved him enough yet

She spent all her time fighting with him instead of loving him and what if he doesn't make it?

I didn't know what to say to her

And we were waiting and waiting for Dad to wake up

And when he finally opened his eyes, the first thing he said to my mom was he loves her and he's not going to leave her yet

Like he really struggled to pull himself out of the coma to say that to her

He said it was like trying to get to shore after hours of swimming the ocean. He said she needs to know and I need to wake up and I need to show her. I can't die like this

It's sad that it took that accident for them to realize how badly

How badly they need each other

And that they shouldn't be wasting their time being afraid or angry or resentful or apart

I'm not saying all families need to stay together if they're more miserable together than apart

Because sometimes love isn't enough

I'm just saying that in mine

Before it was too late

Before they lost each other completely

They sorted things out hahaha

And now they never take a day together for granted

kaya pala

Kaya pala what?

kaya pala hindi ka takot

ayaw mong i-regret

The regret would've killed Mom, I think

I wouldn't want to live with that kind of regret, either

naiintindihan ko

thank you for sharing

Thank you for listening

Is that enough of me?

no

pero magpahinga ka na

magpapahinga din ako muna bago ako magdrive

Okay then

Goodnight, Rheiner

wait lang, magspray ka muna ng ilong

read

🍰 🔒 @katiecakes

Every time he does that, because he remembers, I melt

rhein

12:52 AM

Okay, done

Thank you

Goodnight, Rheiner

Please be safe while driving

will do

goodnight, katja