oh no D:

Chapter dedicated to vitalslarry bc she like read, voted, and commented on both Scars and First within like only a day so thank ya lovely!

AND BTW IM VERY DISAPPOINTED THAT NONE OF U PICKED UP THE LITTLE "OH NO NIALL" THAT LIAM DROPPED LIKE C'MON I THOUGHT THAT WAS A BIT FUNNY OK?OK

AND ALSO FUCKING GRERN HALL WOK LIKE UGWHDBWIDBEIDNDNOOOO OK LEGGO NOW

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"She got it, she got it, she got it!" Louis cheered, prancing from their room. He jumped over the couch, his head landing in Harry's lap. "Hello, angel. How are you?" he asked softly, reaching up and running his thumb across his fiancé's cheek.

Harry smiled, "I'm fine," he chuckled, laying his arm across Louis chest and hooking it around his waist, "what's got you so excited?"

Louis shrugged, "Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that I was just on the phone with your mum and she said she would probably be able to book that church you love for the wedding," he grinned.

Harry's face lightened, "S-Seriously?!" Louis nodded, "that's amazing! B-But, how would we book it? We don't have a date or anything," he tilted his head.

Louis sighed, "Well, Anne just said she'd talk to whoever, and when we get a date then we'll work it out with them," he said, "when would you want it?"

Harry bit his lip, "Oh, uhm, I-I don't know. I mean, Christmas and your birthday are coming soon, and then my birthday in February. I don't know. I just know that I don't want to take so long in the whole planning process. As much as I like being your fiancé I'd really like being your husband more."

Louis giggled, poking at Harry's dimple, "I agree. I don't want to wait so long. I mean, we're both be pretty low maintenance with these kinds of things. I just want you to be happy. It shouldn't take that long," he shrugged.

Harry nodded, "Yeah. I know an old friend of mine that got married within three or four months. We could do that."

Louis nodded, and couldn't help himself as he leaned up and pressed his lips to Harry's, cupping his cheek. Harry kissed him back, helping him so that he was sitting up. Louis straddled his hips, fisting his curls as they kissed passionately.

"I love you," Louis spoke, his lips overing over Harry's. Their breaths were mingling, and Louis just suddenly leant his head down and kissed him again. Harry parted his lips, letting Louis' tongue dart through.

Harry sighed in content, his thumbs tracing circles on his fiancé's hips. Louis nibbled on his bottom lip, and gently sucked it in between his lips before letting it go and re-attaching their lips.

"I love you, too," Harry mumbled against his lips. He pulled away, breathing hard as he let his hands slip underneath Louis' shirt, sliding up his tummy and to his chest. Their eyes met, and Louis was then just smiling at him fondly. Harry's hands fell back to his waist, and his eyes fluttered shut upon feeling of Louis' soft lips pressing to his forehead.

Louis leant forward, wrapping his arms comfortably around Harry's neck and digging his head into the crook of his neck. He moved his legs so that both were on one side of his hips and that he was just sitting in his lap instead. He pressed a kiss to his shoulder, and rested his head on his chest. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist, and held him close.

"You tired?" Harry asked, kissing the top of Louis' head. The older boy nodded, and went to stand up when Harry suddenly scooped him back up in his arms and stood up.

"Harry!" Louis squealed, clinging to him.

"It's fine," Harry chuckled, and continued to carry his fiancé to their room.

Louis bounced down onto the bed, a slight chuckle coming from his lips as he laid down. Harry stripped down to his boxers, and then climbed to Louis and took him out of his clothes as well.

"I miss being the one to take care of you," Louis pouted. Harry pecked his lips, kissing away the frown to replace it with a lazy smile. He laid down, his legs tangling with Louis' and arms being wrapped around his waist.

"I love spooning you," Louis yawned.

"I'd hope so," Harry smirked, feeling lips upon the back of his neck.

"No," Louis giggled tiredly, "I mean, I love how even though you're bigger than me and taller than me, you're the little spoon," another yawn, "I don't know, I just...." Louis' voice trailed off, and Harry could tell that he has passed out on him by the way his breaths came out in short puffs against his bare back.

❊ ❊ ❊ ❊

Harry opened his eyes, and squinted them, not being able to see with the lights blinding him. He blinked, and rubbed at his eyes to see.

He regretted it.

As soon as his eyes got used to the sight, and whole new one appeared. One with a tub and a boy looking exactly like him laying in it, with water surrounding his pale, frail face.

"No!" Harry screamed, backing up against the wall with his hands on his ears. Voices called out to him and as much as he tried getting out of the room, for some reason he couldn't. He was stuck with the sixteen year old Harry dead in the water while him, the nineteen year old one, looked helplessly at the bright bleeding cuts on his "twins" body. He looked down at his own arms, and started yelling and crying and freaking out when seeing bright new cuts marked on his arms and wrists as well.

"No no no no!" he shouted. The room seemed to be getting bigger, or his mind just seemed to be going blank.

"No!" Harry shouted, his body springing up from the bed, chest rising and heart beating rapidly.

Louis was sitting on his lap, his hands gripping his biceps. Beads of sweat covered Harry's forehead, and the back of his neck. Louis wiped the sweat off with his shirt that had been sitting at the end of the bed, and kept whispering to him.

"It's okay, it's okay. You're fine," he told him, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck as the younger boy hugged his waist and broke down crying.

"It's n-not f-fair!" Harry cried, "I don't w-want to h-have nightmares anym-more! Th-They won't go aw-way!" he sobbed.

Louis kissed the top of his head, rubbing his back with one hand and running his hand through his curls with the other. He laid them both down, but kept his arms around his fiancé once they were on their sides.

"Shh, shh, it's alright, Harry, love. It's okay," he muttered, "hey, look here," he tapped Harry's chin, and so he brought his head up and looked at him. "I used to get them, too. I still get them every once in a while, too."

"Really?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, angel," he whispered, wiping away stray tears. "It was a scary thing for me too, you know. You couldn't see yourself at the time but I could. My hands shook so hard when Niall broke the doorknob and pushed open the door. I told myself that I would have traded places with you in an instant," he gently stroked Harry's hair. "Whenever I get nightmares about that it's always that same scene going through my head. Every single time."

"I'm sorry," Harry murmured.

Louis shook his head, "Don't be. I don't think we can control our dreams at night. But we can get over the dreams. I think maybe... maybe if we talk about them together. Like, every time one of us has a nightmare about that or related to that, then we tell one another what happened in the dream," Louis offered.

Harry nodded, "I, uhm. This one was like... I couldn't see at first, a-and like I rubbed my eyes, but w-when I could see I saw m-mys-self. B-But when I was younger. A-And I saw the old m-me in the t-tub. I think I w-was dead cause... I-I don't know, but I didn't like it. It was horrible. And I backed up against the wall b-but I couldn't get out even though there was a d-door. A-And I looked at m-my hands and I had c-cuts all over m-my wrists and arms!" he let out a choked sob, "it was so scary! I don't like the cuts, I hate them, I swear! I don't want to cut and I regret it! And I-I don't know w-why I had them in the dream but I hate it!" he cried, wheezing into Louis' chest.

The older man nodded, kissing the top of his head repeatedly. "It's alright. I love you so so so much, angel. You're so lovely and beautiful," he said, "go back to sleep, okay? I'm right here. No more nightmares tonight. I'll hold you all night long," he told him, and nuzzled his nose against Harry's cheek.

Harry nodded, and sighed heavily, "I love you," he mumbled, and closed his eyes.

-

eh okok not my best ikik but I will skip ahead to da weddin soon