04

arcturus

We didn't have many moments I could call romantic.

There were a few. None less magical than the others. However, one, in particular, stands out as the star marked, colored in evening hue and scented in the smell of first rain. We both loved the rain. That was the first thing I found we had in common.  

It was a week after our soul-crushing encounter at the café. The sketchbook with just the outlines of your face still awaited in my backpack, and I didn't know when I would meet you again. You see, I could have asked Rita for help, and maybe, that's why I went to her house first that evening. But my footsteps retreated from her from the wrought iron gate when I realized how weird it might sound to her.

After all, I had no reason to ask about you. You and I were still strangers.

So, I turned away and took the opposite lane, the one leading to my favorite spot. There was a spot on the ridge covered in wildflowers, white, purple, and yellow. There were a few orange ones too. One could see our town from that ridge, the sparkling silvers of the waterfalls, and the lush green swath of the forest. It was my hideout from the rest of the world whenever we disconnected on something.

I felt a little more lonely that day and a little hopeless too. I came to an abrupt halt as your lying figure in the middle of the field came into my view. It had to be my imagination. Maybe, you were playing tricks with my mind, showing up at my lonely space with your black hair sprawled across the faded green patches of the grass, your amber eyes sparkling in the dying rays of the sun, and your crumpled sundress. You looked like a firefly, burning in the darkest corner of my soul, sprinkling stardust.

And I waited a few painstakingly long seconds before seeking the warmth of your company. You rose to your elbows, alerted due to the soft rustling of the weeds as I brushed past them and the timid crunching of dried leaves underneath my shoes. I was suddenly aware of my worn hoodie and the faded cutouts. I hoped your eyes remained on my face, but you slowly took me in head to toe, and then a bright smile broke through your lips compared to my coy lip twitching. What was about my nervousness and your mere presence?

"Hey," I managed a coy greeting, threw my backpack on the grass, and then after a few seconds of hesitance, I settled beside you. "Do you often come here?"

The queries spilled rolled out of my tongue before I could contain them, and you shrugged your shoulder before falling back to your initial position. "Only when I want to spend some time with myself alone."

"It sounds so much like something I do pretty often too." I mirrored your position, mumbling those solemn admissions. There in the middle of a weed garden on the top of the ridge, away from the rest of the crowd, we found our place.

We remained in that position for a long time, not talking, just breathing, looking at the sky, which had started glittering with stars, and I knew we had to part ways soon. I wanted that moment to last forever. Even if all we did was laid on our backs and stare at the day merging into the night, light coupling with the dark, I wanted that moment for us. How ironically? It depicted our story. 

The thing about a beautiful moment is that it never lasts forever, but its memory stays with you. So be it. I will keep this memory forever, then.

Then you were up on your elbows again, this time looking at me with a smile. And however hard I tried, my chest rose and fell in measured breaths, and my face heated up with awareness.

You picked up a violet wildflower from above my head, your body slightly leaning over mine, and I knew right then- something that had been brewing since I met. It grew stronger as you tucked the flower behind my ear ever so softly, your fingertips grazing my heated skin like whispering secrets I had been hiding, and you smiled, scrunching up your nose, creases forming at the corner of your eyes.

"You look so beautiful, Sia." You twirled a strand of my dyed hair over your fingers, and I realized you were reminiscing a memory that didn't include me or us.

"What's wrong?" I knew the reason behind your sad smile.

"Nothing," you murmured, pulling your fingers away and looking at the distance. "This moment reminded me of someone."

My heart burned again.

Did some look at me with the same endearing smile as you looked at me?

Did someone tuck a flower on your ear?

Did someone share our common ground with you?

And here I imagined just us. How delusional!

Not long after that, we walked out of the field. We separated at the foot of the ridge, from where we turned our separate ways.

That night as I looked in the mirror, your words echoed in my ears. I took out the flower tucked over my ear and had the urge to cradle it against my chest.

You look so beautiful, Sia.

It was the first time my name rolled out of your tongue in your sweet, slightly deep voice. My name on your lips,

and I loved the sound of it.