The next couple of weeks had passed rather quickly, with struggling to keep up at work, doing my best to keep up with domestic tasks outside of work- what Brad allowed me to help with, that is, and reveling in every second I had with Brad. I felt so incredibly blessed to have him to hold me every night, but yearned to take the next step beyond that.

We managed to get the rest of Brad's things packed and moved from his tiny apartment in the city, turned in his keys, and got his security deposit back. The apartment felt really empty and lonely to me, and made me sad for everything Brad had gone through, doing what he felt was right.

The Thursday after our trip up North, I got my test results back, which were also all cleared. Since then, I had been waiting for an opportunity to bring up the topic, but Brad seemed too focused on the hearing scheduled for today to talk about anything else.  Brad insisted on coming with, even though Andy and I assured him he didn't need to. We knew Steve didn't have a lawyer and that meant he wouldn't show up.

At three, the three of us left work and met our lawyer at the court house. Scott was middle aged, focused, and efficient. I didn't mind him as a person but really was quite disappointed to have to see him again.

We hovered outside the scheduled court room, waiting to be let in. Suddenly Brad moved protectively in front of me, actually shoving me behind him as he took a step forward. Confused, I peeked around his shapely shoulder. Steve was coming down the hallway.

He reminded me of a lion after years in captivity. A once beautiful and powerful animal, thriving in the wild, now confined to a tiny space. Without hope, vigor, or interest in anything.

He looked exhausted, pale, and defeated. He slouched a good distance away from us and didn't make eye contact. Andy whispered fiercely to his lawyer, "What is he doing here?"

Scott didn't know. He should have gotten a notification if Steve was going to contest the order. "He must have decided to show up on his own", Scott said.

I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably. I was suddenly slightly dizzy and very nauseous. Brad still had his hand on my hip and his arm under my hand felt rigid.  Jay had shown up for his restraining order hearing from me, also, to purposely make things as hard on me as possible. That was terrifying and awful. I didn't feel like that's why Steve was here, though.  I wasn't uncomfortable because I was intimidated. It was because I felt a lot of empathy for him right then, and would have preferred to let it go, but I knew that Andy would disown me and Brad would probably leave me if I did, so I must stay the course. I really didn't want to, though.

Once the proceedings got underway, the judge asked me a lot of questions about what had recently happened but also about our history together. I didn't lie about a thing. First of all, I wasn't going to lie in a courtroom, but secondly, the three men in there would have all known if I was lying.

Then the judge asked Steve what he thought about everything and Steve didn't deny anything that happened. He said he was there to assure everyone he wasn't going to approach me again and was begging for there to not be a restraining order on his record. He explained that due to the nature of his work, having that in his record could seriously hurt his chances of ever finding a job again, and clearly he couldn't continue working for Andy.

As a result, the judge decided that there wouldn't be an official restraining order due to Steve's clean history, the fact that he had never acted aggressively toward me in the previous three years I had known him, and because it would hurt his ability to find a different job. The judge said she believed Steve to have temporary insanity triggered by the breakup and told him not to contact me or Brad again. That if he did, she would immediately issue the restraining order.

I was relieved. I didn't think he would bother us again and I didn't want him not to be able to find work.

Andy was visibly angry, red-faced, and whispering fiercely with Scott. Brad had his hand on my knee and was unconsciously squeezing it pretty hard.  His jaw muscle was twitching and he was scowling aggressively at Steve.

When we were dismissed, Steve scooted out of the courtroom as quickly as he could.

"It's okay", Brad said to me. "We'll fix this".

"I'm fine with it", I confessed. He looked confused and Andy whipped his head around.

"I really don't think he's going to bother us again", I continued. "Did you see him?  He's not going to hurt anyone. He needs to be able to find another job and he won't be able to do that if we keep putting charges on his record".

Brad just stared at me but Andy snapped, "No offense- uh wait, actually, yeah go ahead and be offended because I don't give a shit. Your judgement is literally THE WORST", Andy said, in his composed rage face. Polite yet deadly, with a calm, quiet voice. "Yeah, no, sweetheart, you don't get an opinion because your shit decisions almost got you killed a couple times now. We are proceeding how Brad and I decide to proceed because clearly you don't know what's best for you". 

He stood and was looking down at me with his eyebrows raised.

I felt my cheeks flash red hot and also stood up so fast my chair crashed over.

"EXCUSE ME?!", I raged.

Brad immediately stood and tried to steer me away.

"Just because you pay for everything doesn't mean you OWN ME!", I shouted. "You don't get to tell me what to do!  I'm a fucking adult!"

"Paige, that's enough", Brad said, hands on both of my upper arms, and steering me out of the courtroom.

"When have you acted like one?", Andy asked as I was led away. "You should consider yourself lucky to have people around you who care enough to take care of you because you don't care enough to take care of yourself!"

"Lucky??!? Are you fucking kidding me?  It's all about control!", I shouted as Brad finally got me out the doorway.

Then I suddenly felt my stomach heave, and I dashed into the women's bathroom across the corridor in barely enough time to make it to a toilet. I had thrown up.

.............................................................................

Brad stood outside the women's bathroom feeling helpless. He didn't feel that way very often and he hated it. Paige was clearly upset with him, she had a fight with her brother, and she was back to not seeing reality when it came to Steve. Brad agreed that Steve didn't look like a threat at the moment, but he had seen firsthand how unstable he was, and what he was capable of doing. Paige saw it too. He knew that's what had Andy so enraged was that Paige could look at the exact same situation and see something different than what was really there.

Andy and Scott walked out of the courtroom and Andy handed Brad his keys. "Take my car", he said. "She won't want to see me". He turned and walked away without further explanation, and Brad figured he was getting a ride from Scott.

A few minutes later, Paige emerged from the bathroom looking like she had been in a battle. Her hair was tousled, she was pale, and her eyes were red. He automatically moved to embrace her but she quickly put her arm out to stop him. "I just threw up", she said.

He wasn't expecting that. Before he could ask if she was okay, she said "I'm not sick. My stomach doesn't handle being upset well".

He felt the truth of that statement.

.............................................................................

Brad was able to get Paige to eat a reasonable amount of supper without any coaxing so he believed that she wasn't actually sick. She was unnaturally quiet, and after supper she went outside and sat, not cleaning up the kitchen with him or bustling off to take a shower. He finished cleaning up then went outside with his mom's blanket and draped it around her shoulders before sitting next to her.

"You're mad at me?", she questioned, looking up at him with large, sad eyes.

He shook his head. "Nah. I just don't understand".

"Andy's mad", she continued, looking away.

"He doesn't understand either, and you both have pretty quick tempers".

"Yeah", she sighed. "I guess we inherited that from our dad, too".

Brad put his arm around her and she leaned into him, tucking her head against his neck.

.............................................................................

Friday I drove Andy's car to work so we could return it to him. He was approachable, but not his normal affectionate self with me, which stung. I kept causing friction between us that didn't belong there.

"I'm sorry about what I said", I told him as I handed back the keys. "That wasn't fair to you and it wasn't true. I was really angry and I honestly do appreciate all you do for me. I don't expect the help and I am thankful you provide it".

"It's okay", he said. "What I said was actually true, but I could have said it nicer", he half-smiled at me.

"Sooo.....that's an apology?", I teased him, smiling.

"Yeah, that's all you get", he said, giving me an abrupt bear hug. "I love you, sis".

"Love you too", I said, hugging him back.

"But you do need some serious help", he continued, releasing me. "Seriously", he said again, looking really intense.

Friday passed slowly, and I was too unfocused and inefficient to bother with staying late. I texted Brad that I could leave at five today. He was waiting for me outside of his truck, calm, cool, and casually gorgeous. I noticed three women I recognized as our payroll and benefits specialists nudging each other and checking him out as they walked past.

I smiled and laughed inwardly.  He didn't even glance at them. His eyes were on me.  My stomach was filled with butterflies. I hadn't seen him since the morning. He looked good.

"Hey, beautiful", he greeted me, smiling.

"Hey", I said, my heart thumping.

.............................................................................

After supper, I showered and changed. I grabbed my favorite hot pink lace push up bra and some black bikini underwear.  I put on loose fitting navy cotton pants, a stretchy navy tank top, and a wide neck burgundy and white tie dyed sweatshirt.

Brad was watching TV when I went to find him. I thought for a second then made an impulsive decision. I snagged the remote from his hand and turned the TV off.

He looked up at me expectantly.  I climbed onto his lap, one knee on either side of his legs, and put my hands on his shoulders, moving my face close to his and looking deeply into his eyes.

"I love you", I said slowly and seriously.

"I love you, too, babe", he said, casually putting his hands on my hips.

I leaned in and kissed him. As usual, one kiss turned into many, but this time when I felt him start to pull away, I didn't let him. Instead, I put my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him back to my mouth, kissing him more urgently.  He instantly responded, passionately kissing me back, and inching his hands up the back of my shirt onto my bare skin.

I felt for the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up over his head. I ran my hands over his chest. He was so warm and his muscles so firm. I quickly ducked out of my own sweatshirt as well, and leaned back to his face. He gently held me back with one hand on my shoulder.

"Wait", he said, breathlessly.  He moved my hair out of my face and looked into my eyes, with his palm on my cheek. "Are you sure about this?"  He looked slightly alarmed.

"I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life", I said, reaching for his pants and unbuttoning them.

Permission granted, Brad let himself go. He quickly and gently rolled me off of him onto my back on the couch and started kissing me again, his mouth trailing down my neck.

He pulled my pants off and took off his, leaning back over me and kissing me as he ran his hand into my underwear and slipped his fingers inside of me.

Once my nails were digging into his back, he sat back up, pulled me back into his lap, and pulled my tank top up over my head. He tried taking off my bra, fumbling with the clasp as I reached into his underwear.

He couldn't get the clasp so he simply ripped it apart with both hands and pulled it off me. He stood up, pulling me up with him, and I pulled his underwear off. He took off mine and started walking backward, kissing me, pulling me with him. When we reached the living room wall, he picked me up and held me up against it.

I had never experienced anything like it in my life. Clearly I wasn't a virgin, and yes, I had enjoyed sex before, but not like this.

He held me up against the wall with one arm while his other hand was on my breast, rubbing my nipple exactly right, and his tongue was inside my mouth. He was holding me at exactly the right height that he could enter me without adjusting the way he was standing. We were so in tuned with each other, reading each other's signals, that we both achieved orgasm at exactly the same time. That's something I had heard about, but honestly thought was a myth. Most of the time I didn't even have orgasms during intercourse. 

Brad held me, his face buried in my hair, while I had both arms wrapped around his neck.  He was sweaty and breathing heavily. We stayed like that for a few minutes, then he leaned back enough to look at me and kiss me softly before lowering me to the ground.  My legs felt shaky. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight against him.

I didn't want the moment to ever end but finally I pulled away to head to the bathroom.

.............................................................................

Brad gathered his clothing and headed to the upstairs bathroom. He was completely overwhelmed and consumed with love for Paige. He had never felt anything like this before. That was literally the most incredible experience of his life. How he would ever be able to keep his hands off her now, he had no idea.

He was so thankful she had enjoyed it as much as he had. When he had considered this moment, he anticipated it would be really difficult to last long enough for her...but when it was happening, he didn't think about anything at all. It was perfect. So perfect.

He came back downstairs and found her only wearing underwear in the living room, inspecting her bra with an amused expression. She was so beautiful. She was petite, slim and toned, yet had an hourglass figure with some real curves. She was complete perfection.

He felt himself wanting to start kissing her all over again.

"You broke my favorite bra", she said, showing him the hooks which had been pulled straight and the fabric which had ripped as he yanked it apart.

He took it from her hand and tossed it aside. "I'll buy you a new one", he said, pulling her close and kissing her again as he grabbed a handful of those generous breasts.

.............................................................................

It rained all weekend, which was all right with me. We didn't leave the house once. In fact, we barely left the bedroom. By Sunday afternoon I was sore and exhausted, but had zero regrets. I didn't know it was possible to feel this amazingly perfect.

"I think I would prefer it if you never wore clothes again", Brad murmured against my head. "I mean, indoors, of course".

"Of course", I laughed, still completely naked and curled up next to him.

I was reminded of a country song, laying there next to him and impulsively sat up and started singing it.

Lying here tonight
With you here by my side
God, I wish that this could last forever
But the plain and honest truth
Is I can't get enough of you
And I am not complete till we're together

Stay right here
Just relax
Let's get lost
Just lay back and let it all
Slip away
Slowly watch
The night roll into day

Let two hearts in love go where they will
Time may fly but love be still

These are busy times
Things are moving fast
So hold me now and kiss me soft and tender
Well, I could not ask for more
Let's lock the world outside our door
As our bodies become one and we surrender

Stay right here
Just relax
Let's get lost
Just lay back and let it all
Slip away
Slowly watch
The night roll into day

Let two hearts in love go where they will
Time may fly but love be still

The clock up on the wall keeps tickin'
And it always will
Here with you we have the power
To let our love be still

Stay right here
Just relax
Let's get lost
Just lay back and let it all
Slip away
Slowly watch
The night roll into day

Time may fly but love be still

Brad had propped himself up on one elbow and was watching me. When I finished the song, he smiled and said, "That was real beautiful, babe. It describes our weekend perfectly".

"Yeah, totally amazing and perfect", I smiled back at him.

He ran his hand over my bare thigh. "Now what should we do?", he asked, looking at me suggestively.

I laughed. "No more of that!", I said. "I need to be able to walk tomorrow!"

He laughed and pulled me back into his arms.

.............................................................................

Steve was thanking God that the restraining order did not happen. He had enough troubles without being unable to work, as well. The only things he had to focus on now were counseling appointments and a new job. As it was, his days stretched excruciatingly long. He didn't know what there was to live for, or look forward to. He fully intended to leave Paige and Brad alone now, not even desiring to apologize for anything. He had done enough and said enough, and he doubted either one of them would ever forgive him.

Marcus came over on Saturday and filled some of his time, helping him to repair the railing and wall, and chop up and burn what was burnable of the furniture.

When they were done, Marcus asked if Steve wanted to grab some supper and a beer.

"I can eat", Steve replied, "but I can't drink with the antidepressants I'm on. I dunno that I'd want to anyway. The thought of any alcohol makes me nauseous". He grimaced.

"Okay, man, fine by me", Marcus said.

Over supper, Marcus filled him in on everything that had happened at work.

"Have you heard back from the place that interviewed you?", Marcus asked.

"They called me Wednesday and offered me the position, pendin' drug and background tests, so I went in to do that Friday. Now I'm waitin' to hear back 'bout the results".

"Praise God", Marcus said.

"Yes, indeed", said Steve. "The sooner I get to work again, the better. It's not helping me at all sittin' at home all day".

"So, don't then", Marcus said, shrugging.

"I don't have nothin' to do, though", Steve protested.

"Create stuff", Marcus said. "You always talked about fixing up the house and yard, so do it. Don't wait for a woman to come and approve the projects. Just do them. And when the right woman comes, she can change things the way she wants them then".

Steve smiled.

"Go fishing", Marcus continued. "Work out. Write a list of things to do and every day do as much as you can. Exercise will also help improve your mood".

Steve nodded. "That's a good point", he agreed. 

After supper, Steve went home and started a giant 'To-Do List' including things he should do daily, like exercise.  He even decided on a project he could do starting tomorrow.

Since he now had an empty living room because he had destroyed all the furniture in his drunken rage, he would start there with the remodeling. The first step was going to be tearing out the threadbare carpeting.

.............................................................................

Tuesday afternoon Heidi waltzed into my office looking smug.

"Your ex-fiancé just called. He's got another job so we are officially taking him out of the system and promoting Marcus. Andy said I was to handle everything dealing with Steve, so I will handle all the paperwork...but I thought you would want to know".

Bullshit, I thought. She just wanted to bring his name up and watch me squirm.

"How thoughtful of you", I said in mock-sweetness. "I really appreciate you spending so much time thinking about my feelings".

She looked like she had just eaten something sour, and left my office without a parting word and without shutting the door.

I smiled at the little battle I had won but then felt a pang of sadness for Steve and all he had lost because of me. I shouldn't have drug the relationship out as long as I had, and I shouldn't have moved in with him.  Brad was correct that I couldn't blame myself for Steve's reaction, but I knew I was doing things wrong at the time, and I did them anyway. I talked myself into the wrong situation and caused more damage to those around me because of it. So that I definitely could blame myself for.

I sighed. I had made a decision about needing more counseling but I still hadn't made an appointment. Maybe now was the time. I got up, shut the door, and made the call.

...........................................................................

Living with Brad was really easy. If I thought for very long about how I had said "I love you", and was living with him after knowing him a mere two weeks, I would get really freaked out. However, if I wasn't thinking about it, it didn't feel fast and it didn't feel wrong. It felt very, very right.

Steve had been a neat and clean freak, so that part of living with him was okay, but what wasn't okay was that he would only do things his way and not compromise or change when I wanted something done differently. Or if I wanted to reorganize in a way that made more sense to me, he would just keep putting things away where he remembered them being, not even recalling having had a conversation with me about changing it.

Brad was kind of chaotic when it came to living conditions. He wasn't a slob, but he didn't care where anything went, and didn't pay much attention to messes in general. What was easy was that he just let me organize the way I wanted to, and when I asked him, he was completely willing to clean anything, cook anything, or pick up- the way I wanted it to be done. He simply wasn't going to take the initiative to do it himself. When I got on him about something, he listened and changed his behavior. For example, the night I fell into the toilet because I went in the dark and he had forgotten to put the seat down. I freaked out on him about that and hadn't seen the seat up in either bathroom since.

Tonight while Brad was cooking, I repeated what Heidi had disclosed to me.

"Yeah, Andy told me", he said, turning from the stove to check my expression. I was instantly angry.

"When were you going to tell me?", I asked in an accusatory tone.

"Tonight", he said. He looked genuine so I let my anger dissipate.

"Okay", I said.

During supper I dug into my steak and mashed potatoes with vigor, but almost gagged with the first bite of potatoes. I quickly spit them into my napkin. I don't know that it was very ladylike or discreet, but I needed them out of my mouth! Brad was looking at me with a confused expression.

I chugged some water to get the taste out of my mouth. "I'm sorry", I said. "I don't know what happened. I can't eat these".

Brad quickly took a bite of his. "They taste normal to me, babe. Maybe you're used to another brand?"

I shook my head, confused. "No, I bought these. These are the ones I always get".

Brad set his fork down and put his hand on my arm. "I think we both know what this is about", he said quietly.

I stared at him, my mind blank with zero possibilities of why my favorite brand and flavor of mashed potatoes had suddenly turned revolting.

"I think you're upset about Steve", he said, comforting me.

"What the hell?! NO! Not even close! I'm thankful he got another job, not upset!" I yanked my arm away, annoyed.

"When she told you, you didn't start thinking about things all over again?", he pressed.

I hesitated. "Yeah, okay", I said quietly.

"And your stomach gets upset when you do", he summarized.

I sighed. "Yeah, it does". I guess I really was more upset than I was consciously aware of.

"I don't want you beating yourself up over this anymore", Brad said quietly, "but I don't know how to help you get beyond it".

That was a perfect lead in for me to tell him about my upcoming appointment.

"I have an appointment Friday with my therapist, the one I saw before.  She happened to have an opening at eight, which should work fine because I'll just go in later...but then I'll also probably have to stay later".

"Okay, I'll talk to my manager and get permission to do the same then", Brad said. "I'm real proud of you for taking this step".

"Thanks...but why don't I drop you at work a little early and then take your truck to the appointment and back?  Then it doesn't affect you as much", I reasoned.

Brad bristled.  "Steve is why", he scowled, "or did you already forget about him?"

"What could possibly be the chances of Steve happening to be driving on the same roads or going to the same mental health facility on the same day at the same time?", I retorted, hotly.

"I don't know but I'm not risking the chance to find out", he replied. "You're too important to gamble with. I don't want you going anywhere alone, especially without a restraining order in place".

"Are you serious?", I stared at him. "For the rest of my life I can't go anywhere alone again because of Steve?"

"I didn't say forever", he answered calmly. "At some point I'm sure he will become less of a threat. Like when he gets a new girlfriend and moves on. But this is all pretty fresh, babe. He's a loose cannon and you're what sets him off".

He stared into my eyes in his mesmerizing way.   "I'm sorry but this is a non-negotiable for me.  I cannot let you go anywhere by yourself right now. I hope you love me and respect me enough to follow my judgment on this".

I sat in angry silence, inwardly struggling and trying to come to a decision. I did love and respect him. I trusted his judgment. I still thought this was being overprotective and unnecessary, and it felt a little like Jay's control or Steve's overbearing male dominance. 

I wanted to argue but I knew Brad's intentions were coming from the right place, and I could see he wasn't going to budge, so I finally decided that I would do what he wanted.

"Fine", I sighed. "I don't like it, though. I think it's totally unnecessary. I also don't think it looks good for you having to change your schedule around so much being as new as you are".

"I hope it's unnecessary", he replied, "and don't worry. You've been having me work late so much that they all love me there.  I've helped them finish some projects that have been sitting around for months because no one can get to them".

"Well, that's good, at least", I agreed.

We finished the rest of our supper uneventfully, minus potatoes for me, and cleaned up together.

"Want to take a shower?" I asked Brad. He dropped the last plate he was drying and grabbed me.

"Let's go", he said, totally serious.

I laughed out loud. Showers were more interesting now that I didn't have to do them alone, and bedtime was a lot more fun now that we didn't need to behave, but we sure were getting a lot less sleep and I was tired. It was totally worth it, though. Brad was totally worth it. I really couldn't get enough of him and he couldn't keep his hands off me, either. I realized that when you are with the right person, sex isn't awkward or uncomfortable. There's no guilt involved. There's no pressure. And the better your emotional connection, the better the sex will be. I wish someone had told me this before I decided to give my virginity away like it was something to cross off a list, and since then compromise my wishes to please others, giving in to sex when I didn't really want to. I wish I could have known that I would find Brad. I would have waited for him. There was no way to fix the past though, so I focused on my amazing present and headed toward the stairs.

.............................................................................

There was no doubt about it, fall was here. The leaves had started change colors rapidly, overnight the temperature dropped dramatically, and the daytime was now chilly as well.  My birthday was coming, too. I loved the colors of fall but I preferred the warmth of summer. I had to wear long sleeve blouses or lightweight sweaters under my suit jackets, I transitioned to only wearing boots, and I typically had a scarf around my neck and gloves on my hands. I was surviving without an actual coat on top of my suit jacket, though. I put that off as long as possible because it made me claustrophobic.

Brad was wearing his standard daily attire. Jeans, flannel, vest, baseball cap. He always looked the same and I was okay with that. It suited him. Plus, I had seen him in a suit and knew that he could pretty much pull off anything he wanted.

We were heading to my appointment which was scheduled to last an hour. Brad was planning to sit in the waiting room, which I thought was boring and unnecessary of him, but of course I wasn't going to win that argument.

I gave him directions where to go, heading into the larger, neighboring city.  As we turned into the lot, we saw it at the same time. My mouth dropped open and he said under his breath, "You have got to be kidding".  A truck looking exactly like Steve's was parked. Silver Chevy Silverado extended cab.

"It might not be his", I said. "It's not like that's a super unique vehicle".

Brad gave me a piercing look.  "I want to hear you say I'm right when we confirm that it's his".

I rolled my eyes.

Brad opened the door for me as usual, but also took, and kept, my elbow. I didn't bother protesting his protection. He was on high alert now and wouldn't listen to anything I had to say.

Brad and I both looked at the silver truck as we walked past and I easily identified the sweatshirt draped over the passenger seat as his.

I sighed and looked up at Brad.

"I want to hear it", Brad said, looking down at me, completely serious.

"Yes, you were right", I admitted grudgingly.

Brad opened the door and went in first, pausing in the doorway and glancing around. He continued walking so everything must have been okay.  Brad hovered at my elbow as I checked in and then sat us in the corner closest to the therapists' offices.

"Can your therapist kick him out of here?", Brad whispered. "Once she knows the circumstances?"

"At least he's getting help", I pointed out, which Brad glared at me for saying. "He may not be seeing her. There's a few therapists here.  Plus, it looks like he was here first, so I'd be the one to leave if there was a conflict".

Brad scowled. "You saw her for years already so that should account for something. Can she at least make sure that you and Steve are never scheduled at the same time again?"

"Probably", I shrugged. "I'll find out". And I would. While I wasn't scared of seeing Steve, I certainly didn't want all of us bumping into each other again. This incident certainly wasn't going to make Brad any less intense about letting me go anywhere alone.

...........................................................................

Our first appointment was mostly about getting her back up to speed with my life and what was the turning point which spurred me to make this appointment.

She was troubled to hear about Steve being here at the same time as me and assured me they would take steps to insure it didn't happen again.

"Unfortunately, this isn't the first time we've had a situation like this", she explained, "so we do already have protocols in place. Now that we know, we will make sure there isn't any overlap or back to back on appointments".

We set an evening appointment for Wednesday of next week and made goals for my treatment. Until next time she wanted me focusing on the whys behind my decisions, and backtracking to the root of the first thought which started me on the path to the end decision.

Sigh. Monitoring my thoughts so then we could work on changing them. I was all too familiar with the process.

.............................................................................

In the waiting room, Brad was on edge. Paige underestimated Steve, didn't take her own safety seriously, and was giving him gray hair. He figured she was safe in her therapist's office because there was no way Steve could know they were there at the moment. All that could change if Steve walked out and saw him in the waiting room, or, God forbid, if Paige bumped into him in the hallway.

Brad knew Paige had hated Steve's overbearing and smothering protectiveness so he didn't voice all of his concerns. How could he? She already thought he was paranoid and overreacting. She hadn't seen Steve drunk and waving a gun around, though. He thought he got through to her when she fainted upon realizing Steve could have killed him, but that seemed to be short-lived. Brad had always been one to stand up for what he thought was right. Throughout his life that had caused him to jump into an awful lot of fights that weren't his. In fact, there was a time when Steve was smaller than him and was too kind-hearted to fight back when he was getting picked on. Brad had bloodied more boys than he could count before the two of them turned fourteen, and suddenly Steve had filled out and become more assertive. Never aggressive, but he did start standing up for himself.

But Paige. Brad wanted to protect her like no one he had ever met before. He was terrified at the thought of losing her; and the damage Steve and Jay had done to her made him so angry he thought he was going to lose his mind if he thought on it long. The only reason his anger dissipated when confronting Steve that night was because he was drunk. Brad didn't take advantage of people and he wouldn't have respected himself for beating up someone under the influence.

Brad knew himself well, and he knew that had Steve pulled a gun on him sober, he wouldn't have hesitated to shoot him. He wouldn't have shot to kill him, just disarm him and protect himself, but it would have given him a lot of satisfaction with the rage he was in at the time. He also knew that if he were presented with an opportunity, he would kill Jay without a second thought, regardless of the consequences.

.............................................................................

Steve was emotionally drained. He felt good about his progress in therapy but it was difficult to voice his feelings. It was also difficult to move through those feelings. He was realizing he was still stuck in grief from the loss of his parents, and had been subconsciously protecting himself from losing Paige by not acknowledging anything that pointed to her wanting to leave.

Steve was leaving the office in a bit of a daze. He got into his truck and started backing out before he noticed Brad's truck parked nearby. He felt his throat catch. He very much doubted Brad was here for therapy so that meant he had caused Paige so much trauma that she needed to return to her therapist here. Shit. He should probably leave then. That was too bad. He respected the man he was talking to and it wasn't easy to open up to just anyone. He hadn't even thought about Paige coming here again. He had stuck with the on-call psychiatrist who had helped him in the ER, and this is where he had an office.

He called the office while he was driving home and asked the receptionist to connect him to his therapist's voicemail. He left a detailed message explaining the situation and asked what he should do. He hung up feeling a huge dip in his emotions. He had been feeling...not necessarily better...but hopeful. Like he was making traction. The thought of starting all over again with a new therapist was almost more than his raw nerves could handle.

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Brad watched, every muscle tensed and ready for action, as Steve walked into the waiting room, right past him without noticing, into his truck, and started backing out. Brad clenched his fists as he saw Steve stop abruptly and stare at his truck, then slowly relaxed as he saw Steve pull out his phone and make a call while exiting the lot.

Hopefully he's calling to get therapy elsewhere, Brad thought.

He still didn't trust Steve with Paige but he didn't think he was malicious or wanted to cause trouble. Brad simply thought he was unstable and irrational, which was also dangerous, but he didn't think Steve would purposely want to run into the two of them.

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