It felt as if in that moment the whole world froze for me, just stopped moving for a second to think and reflect upon everything that had been said tonight, for I did as well, comprehending fully yet none of his words which just would not break through in my ears. It felt like something was there, behind them, forcing them to stay put as I tried and tried to consider the boy in front of me.

Perhaps, it was because I did not remember anyone ever saying those words to me or have forgotten what they sounded like which now remembering brought a newfound feeling upon me— after all the heaviness, death and pain, they brought some happiness.

"I don't expect you to—" Thomas began rather heavily, yet somehow his certainty was visible in his eyes.

I cut him off, knowing it was not a tendancy of mine which soon I found quite a wrong thing to do as I gently leaned into a hug, arms around his middle as his went over my neck. "I love you too, and I think I always have."

Something of a relief settled on Thomas, no matter the faint breath he released and the considerably slower heartbeat I could hear as my head leaned on his chest, he remained between truly worried and partly relieved; all because of one thing, that disease I've been diagnosed with which not only tortured him but me as well.

Slowly and reluctantly he broke our hug, rising his hand in shaky motions as if frightened of something, yet when finally reached my cheek gently ran a thumb over it, sorrowfully and lost within his own thoughts. "I wanted to tell you before- before I lose you too." His voice cracked so painfully there was nothing I would have done rather than hug him again.

Standing there, just a small distance between us and a never-ending heavy weight settling above I closed my eyes forcefully to rid them of tears, stayed disconnected to everything as no second sooner than they opened toward the world again, Thomas pulled me closer and pressed his lips to mine.

Just like that one tear came, flowed between my closed lashes and rolled down my cheek, dropped onto the floor and remained there in the sight of pure night, a gentle swaying wind fading into warmth and everything disappearing within the shallow darkness in my eyes. Thomas still held my cheeks, caressed them slowly and carefully as I messed my hands into his hair.

At last, as reluctant as before when breaking our hug, he pulled away, blinking swiftly the glistening drops formed in his eyes and dropping his hands, in an instant cold swarmed where his previously warm hands rested gently, a feeling of utter longing arising in my chest as Thomas looked at the far horizon bathed in the shine of the moon above and empty street down.

"I'll do whatever it takes to keep myself alive, I promise." I whispered, looking after him to at last meet his eyes.

Thomas looked at me sorrowfully, debating what to say. "You can't make that promise. You- I don't know whether you're even going to make it until the end of this mission. And I want to believe that."

"Don't say that, okay. Whatever happens just remember that I love you." I told him, heard even myself crumble underneath pain and fear, to pieces of what used to happiness, that long lost wish we hadn't even came close to fulfilling.

Thomas nodded shortly, breathed in to stabilise the uneven breathing and once again gripped me into a hug of true emotion, nothing hidden and nothing fake, just both of us lost and heavy, both of us afraid of loosing each other.

•

With waking of the first morning hours, came the first sign of what was now nested deeply inside my being— a lightheaded feeling, a feeling of everything spinning and spinning to the point I could not see it clearly as the only sight there was, was of a glazed over wall of gray and jello, something blurry in a wheel of colors the room was in.

It did take a little longer to focus on the surrounding, everything to return to normal and the glazed over sight to fall, which as the wheel of colours spun and spun forced me to sit down again and breath in— all of the previous happenings, Rosie telling me I had the Flare, it all happened rather top fast, for the disease could have not developed as quick as it did. Perhaps it was that I have gotten in earlier and it was only now that it had taken effect; I didn't know, but I let myself hope it would not take any major part so I would face the last mission along with my friends.

Pushing it behind— the Flare, Rosie's words, I stood up again and deciding to forget most of it for the time being, went to the common area, a place we were supposed to meet to discuss the plans.

With a quick breakfast done and most people already doing a part of their jobs, our group settled to the highest room still free within the building complex, above most halls and streets and in its brown light seeping down on the strewn maps and objects in the middle— knifes, gun, a backpack, all of which we would soon need.

I sat next to Brenda, who leaned over the table with a considering expression as same as the one a part of the group held upon hearing the wonderful plans Gally had conjured.

"No there's gotta be another way." Thomas shook his head at the thought of having to include Teresa once again, for it was clear him and mostly none of us trusted her anymore.

"Like what? You've seen the building. She's our only way in." Gally clasped his hands together, staring up at the disagreeing Thomas.

"You really think she's gonna help us?" Thomas questioned with a slight puff of air, heavily settling his hands down on the table.

"I don't plan on asking for her permission." Gally scoffed barely audibly, pulling his face into pure determination.

"Am I missing something here? This is the same girl who betrayed us? The same dick?" Brenda questioned besides me, interrupting the pointless discussion like throwing a ball back and forth between Gally and Thomas who both looked at her, one with agreement the other with consideration.

Gally rose his hand slightly, pointed at the girl and then dropped it. "I like her."

"Look, we can't just throw useless facts around the whole day. There's gotta be a way, and if it includes Teresa then fine. At least we won't be rushing into something without a single plan." Chris explained with a hidden trace of concern, picking at his fingernails absently and gaze jumping from one person to another as his explanation sent silence through the group members.

All until Newt, seemingly out of nowhere slammed one hand agaisnt the surface of the table and approached Thomas. "What, are you afraid your little girlfriend is gonna her hurt?" The words stung, not because it was that he thought everything Thomas was trying to do was protect me, no, because they were not even about me, they were about Teresa but because Newt never acted the way he did in that moment— he would never snap so angrily at Thomas and that was where I had let worry flood me. "Hm? This is almost never have been about rescuing Minho, is it? Teresa, she is the reason Minho is missing in the first place and now we finally have an opportunity to get him back and you don't want because of her?" By the time he finished speaking, my brows have scrunched in clear worry and partial confusion and my being slowly rose from the chair.

Newt stared at Thomas, disgust many of the things that had arose on his features which fully marred his usually compassionate eyes as he backed the brunette boy to the wall, each step angrier and full of less care than he ever had. "Because deep down inside you still care about her, don't you? Just admit it."

Thomas' eyes displayed hurt, his voice small when he spoke again. "No, Newt— I..."

Newt grabbed the boy by his shoulders, held onto his jacket before quickly slamming him to the wall behind and yelling in such voice, so fearful, angry. "Don't lie to me. Don't. Lie. To me." His usually caring voice, now was partly venomous that it fully shook other people around me to the point it was nothing but a tense silence I thought a knife could cut it. Staring right at the blond boy, all pair of eyes just one the exchange between the two I was rigid and have sensed was paled of any colour in shock of the witnessed words that shattered me thinking something was not right— I knew Newt would never act just like he did now.

In obvious shock the blond boy looked at the gathered group members, his expression suddenly hurt, downcast as he hurriedly apologised. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Newt backed away from Thomas, brown eyes glistening as if he would break down soon as he fled the room we were all in.

Thomas gave us a worried look, heading after him in momentary shock as the whole room lapsed into even longer silence— I wanted to move, wanted to force myself to take into consideration following Thomas out, yet no matter how much I tried, my legs would not move as I was fully shaken.

And the silence would continue if it were not for another boy appearing not even a second after Thomas ran outside his voice rang out. "Yo, Chris, we found someone wandering out of the city walls." 

"Who?" Chris started out quietly, then repeated his word again as it was clearly obvious he still reeled from the shock.

"Don't know." He shrugged casually. "Just a girl, lost completely."

"Bring her here." The blond boy replied, throwing a quick nod to the other one who then disappeared within another door in full silence, only minutes later returning with his hand gripped over forearm of a person whose face I had never wanted to see again— Devon.

My eyes widened as if they'd pop out of their sockets, lashes froze just for a minute causing a sudden stop in blinking and a chill of ran down my spine, cooling me to the point I felt nothing of the previous warmth the day started with, rather a long, decaying and cold, icy wind sweeping over me.

In that moment, any trace of self-control I had left, faded and with glazed over eyes, I grabbed the nearest knife I could find, charging at the clearly lost and confused girl— a murderer who had taken away one of the most important people in my life.

"No, Aria, don't. Stop." Those were the words that neared my ears, yet none I took in close consideration as with every step I got closer to the blurry figure— and then suddenly two hands clamped down on my waist, held me even agaisnt the struggle and fight I made put on as I desperately twisted and pulled within the person's grasp, none of which set me free to finish off what my mind had been set on.

"She...killed him." I struggled with my breathing, slowly watched the wall of jello fade from my eyes and the surrounding become much clearer, only to catch the mortified expression Fry, whose hands restrained me in going further, held and the utter worry, fear on the faces of others.

Fry reluctantly left me to stand, seeing as I have stopped fighting and struggling to the point I stood still under the gazes of everyone else, painting an image of horrified expression they must've held when only now, a day after Thomas found out, they did too— fright, that was the only thing I could imagine them feeling, for the same emotion I held too.

"We were there. I remember, but if we didn't kill Gally, don't kill her then." Fry held out a hand, motioning me to hand over the knife whose handle I gripped so tightly I did feel my knuckles have turned white. Reluctantly, when he noticed I was not going to give it up that easily, he coiled one hand over it and pulled it out of my grasp.

My gaze dropped with my hand that hung limply by my side as, after a second I lifted up my weary head, stared at Devon with undeniable desire to make her pay for what she had done which soon turned into a look of anger, a glare. She shifted under my gaze, unable to look me or anyone else for that matter in the eye.

Chris spoke up, gazing over the shaken girl. "I take it you know her then?"

I gave him no answer, only Fry spoke in my stead. "Ever wondered where Nico is, Chris?"

The blond boy shook his head sadly, to what Fry continued. "No, didn't think so. Well he's...gone. All because of her."

(A/N):

welp, now we even have aria going fully cranky. just to clarify a thing she did get it earlier but felt no effect of it, so that's why she's kinda violent now— it'll all be clear very soon why.

i also don't even know what's with me and bringing all my ocs in with this book. hehh, let's roll with it.

anyway, i'm still too young to die, so don't kill me for this chapter.

umm that would be all soo...bye and thank you for reading.