Epi•pha•ny•
(from the ancient Greek epiphanea, "manifestation, striking appearance")

An experience of a sudden and striking realization.

*****

🔶🔶🔶

Samuel and Justin were now exchanging pleasantries with a possible sponsor, when Samuel caught a glimpse of the group of people that just went past the entrance. First came a line of guards dressed in uniformed black suits, followed by an older couple, with the man exuding power and dominance as soon as he entered— William Owens.

Victor Owens' father.

"Oh? The Owens' are here, finally. Fashionably late as usual, I see," Justin said after apologizing to the sponsors they were talking to when he saw his best friend's family entering the grand hall. Varian Owens, Victor's older brother came in after their parents, then Victor followed behind with Stacey on his side.

"Should we say hello?" Justin asked, nodding politely with a smile at William before turning towards Samuel again, asking for permission if he could say hi to his friend's family.

"Y-you can. I actually need to go to the bathroom— Excuse me." Samuel immediately tore his eyes off of the family, letting go of Justin's arm and stepping back before they could see him, turning around then disappearing through the crowd, leaving the latter wondering what's wrong this time.

"Bathroom again, huh?" Justin mumbled under his breath, aiming to follow Samuel when-

"Ah! Isn't this Justin Wong? You finally decided to attend this year's gala, I see! Are your parents here?" William said, with both his sons and Stacey standing behind him, while his wife went ahead to mingle with her friends— a.k.a the other rich ladies that were present in the event.

"Oh... Hi, Mr. Owens. No— no, they aren't. They just got home from New York last night if I'm not mistaken." Justin extended his neck a bit to see where Samuel was heading before smiling at the old man in front of him.

"Ah, the Wong's are still as busy as ever, huh. Well, tell 'em we said hi! By the way, I heard that you already met Victor's fiance... Stacey. Come here, darling." William made the girl step forward with a bright smile on her face.

"Indeed. Well, I must say I'm still shocked about it. Vic really did a good job at keeping her a secret— Vic, you sneaky bastard. Tch." Justin clicked his tongue jokingly at his best friend, who for some reason, looked a bit constipated.

"Oh, that! Well, y'know how private this guy is. Anyway, we're here to introduce her as a new member of our family— isn't that right, son?" William turned towards Victor who was still standing behind.

"R-right. Of course, dad," Victor said, failing to not notice the way his older brother was smirking at him right now, enjoying the shit show as usual.

"By the way Justin, I already saw Kate and Rose earlier, but where's Samuel? Isn't he here? I heard you guys will be performing tonight?" Stacey asked, looking genuinely excited. She was a fan of ice-skating after all.

"Samuel?— Samuel Jeon?" Varian Owens, Victor's brother asked, raising a brow rather tauntingly at the latter; a gesture Justin didn't miss to see, though he didn't quite understand what it meant.

"Yeah. D'you know him?" Justin asked Varian.

"O-of course... Of course I do. I mean, at this point, he's getting as famous as his mother." Varian coughed awkwardly to break the tension when Victor shot a glare at him.

"I see— which then reminds me, I actually need to go check on him for a minute. Nice to see you all again by the way. Now if you would excuse me." Justin politely cut the conversation off, after recalling that he was about to follow Samuel earlier.

_______________

Locking himself inside one of the empty bathroom stalls, Samuel then lit a cigarette, taking a shaky drag as he tried to steady his breath.

He never really liked attending these kinds of events, but still, he never really had this kind of trouble before. 

Unfortunately, William Owens knew about him and Victor's little affair— known about it for years actually, after the old man had walked in on them once in Victor's bedroom when they both carelessly thought that no one would come home soon that eventful day.

Although he hadn't said a word to him that time, Samuel definitely saw the disgust and disappointment on the old man's face when he did the walk of shame.

It was so humiliating and traumatizing for Samuel that he always freaked out whenever he and the Owens family breathed in the same room. Victor never said anything about his father's reaction; however the fresh cuts and bruises on the latter's face when he showed up at school the next day was enough to answer the questions in Samuel's head.

Still, they both pretended that nothing happened.

Samuel pretended that he didn't notice how Victor stopped talking to him in public and how the latter left little notes on his locker, asking him to meet up after class. 

He pretended that he couldn't see it— feel it, how their already private relationship turned to a mere dirty secret.

Samuel's hands were still trembling when he heard the click coming from the bathroom door, followed by a quiet knock against the stall. "I know you're in there. Open up, Sammy." Justin calmly waited for a few good seconds before Samuel finally stepped out of the stall.

"Tch. Look at you smoking without even inviting me." Justin eyed the cigarette that Samuel was still holding.

"S-sorry... here." Samuel gave Justin the almost spent stick as he made his way to wash his hands on the sink, only for Justin to drop the cigarette, pulling him by the arm and turning Samuel to face him.

"What's wrong?" Justin asked, cupping Samuel's face tenderly.

"Tch. Nothing— it's nothing. I just wanted a smoke. Come... let's go." Samuel pulled his face away from Justin's hold before turning towards the door.

"Are you sure?" Justin asked again.

"Yes, I'm sure. So, are you coming or not?" Samuel took a deep breath before glancing back at Justin.

"Okay, let's go back, then," Justin said as he walked towards Samuel's side.

_______________

As much as Samuel wanted to mind his own business— he couldn't. He kept on stealing glances at Victor and his beautiful fiancé at the other side of the hall, following William Owens like two sparkly trophies on the old man's collection. Justin was busy chatting with Rose about their choreographies, while Kate remained on Samuel's side, trying her best to ignore the fact that Samuel and Victor kept on exchanging tension filled glances.

"Stop it. Don't look at them," Kate said in a low voice, just enough for Samuel to hear.

"They look perfect, don't they?" Samuel mumbled under his breath with a bitter smile on his lips as he tore his gaze off of the couple, turning towards Kate instead.

"No? You— look perfect, Sammy. Did you see everyone's faces when you and Justin walked in together? You two look like one expensive couple-"

"Kate, you're making it sound weird. He's my skating partner. That's the only reason why I invited him." Samuel looked at Justin who was still with Rose, standing a few feet away.

"Really now? As if I didn't catch you two making out at studio B after every after practice. The doors here are made of glass Sammy, stop shitting me." Kate rolled her eyes at her best friend.

"Well those meant nothing— to us both, I mean. Just releasing tension, 's all," Samuel said, not even trying to deny anything.

"Well, you two might've had a hell lot of tension to release then?— Look, the point is, stop looking at the Owens' already. C'mon now, it's time to change." Kate pulled Samuel away after seeing Mr. Parker's gesture, prompting them to go and get changed.

"Right," Samuel dryly replied.

_____________

"Vic, are you okay?" Stacey said, noticing that Victor had barely said a word since they got there around an hour ago.

"H-huh? Ah, yes... I'm fine."

He tried to ignore it, alright? But it was really hard not to stare at Samuel and Justin who were painfully standing out among the crowd wearing their almost matching outfits. The two looked closer now, and as much as Victor didn't want to acknowledge it, Samuel and Justin looked good— together that is. While he was there, playing the role of a good son and a loving fiance for his family.

His father already started the great charade; formally introducing him and Stacey as a couple to their friends and other business partners that were all gathered in this event. Everyone kept on congratulating them, but Victor just couldn't care less. Samuel really was with Justin, and the more he looked at them, the harder it became for him to swallow.

Justin had his arm wrapped around Samuel's waist almost the whole time, smiling all cheery and bright, as if silently telling everyone 'He's mine.'

But he wasn't.

Samuel wasn't owned by anyone, not even Victor, himself; and that may be the saddest part about their kind of arrangement.

"Are you sure? You're not sick, aren't you?" Stacey asked again, placing her soft hands on Victor's forehead, and Victor hated how he saw Samuel look away. Stacey kept talking and talking, but suddenly Victor stopped hearing a thing. His eyes were only on Samuel who was now chatting with Kate, before the latter took him away, followed by Rose and Justin, trailing behind them.

Just wait a bit more, Sammy... I'll come to you soon, Victor thought, hiding his balled fists on his sides, before faking another smile.

_______________

The dimmed lights once again lit up as Rose and her partner Nathan bowed grandly at the audience, while Kate emptied her third glass of wine before making her way towards the center of hall, replacing the 'couple' who just completed their routine.

"Good luck out there," Samuel said to his best friend; then the lights went off again.

______________

*Now playing: I see the light : Mandy Moore*

Kate was dressed in all white like the angel that she was under the spotlight. She was holding a thin silk sheet in both of her hands, whipping it around like it were her own wings as she skated.

Everyone stood there in awe, admiring Boston University's representative for the women's solo. It was a feast for the eyes indeed, watching someone skate so fluid and flawless, landing each jump and leap as if she was weightless.

"Ah. She's really good, isn't she?" Justin nudged Rose who just returned to her spot beside him.

"Of course... I've seen this a couple of times already, but I still can't get tired of it. She always amazes me." Rose looked fondly at Kate, while Justin's eyes moved past Rose, noticing how Samuel kept his head down, staring at shoes, which then made Jeongguk walk towards him.

"Why? Nervous?" Justin asked.

"A little. It's my first time performing here at the gala with a partner." Samuel admitted, trying to ignore his mother's boisterous drunken laughter a few feet from where they we're standing.

"Didn't I tell you to put a little trust in me? I won't mess up, I promise." Justin held Samuel's hand sneakily, making the former lift his head up, being welcomed by Victor's sharp eyes, staring at him from the opposite side.

"No. This time, I might be the one who'll fuck up." Samuel took a deep breath, pretending he was not seeing Stacey clinging to Victor like a pretty accessory.

"You? Oh, Shut up! That's not possible, isn't it?" Justin said, eyes busy watching the performance in front of them that he failed to notice how Samuel was now staring at his best friend.

________________

"Oh, Ms. Hye-Jin, I think it's your son's turn now." Samuel couldn't help but hear the man nearby who was currently humoring his already drunk mom. Hye-Jin then glanced at Samuel with her sharp eyes, looking as empty as usual, as if telling him that he better not mess this up.

Samuel's stomach started churning, making him feel like he was about to throw up. His sweat kept on flowing, seeping through the tight black shirt he was wearing. Justin was still standing beside him, emptying a glass of champagne before they started performing. Samuel wanted to do that as well, but he couldn't— especially now that he could feel everyone's eyes were on them again.

Everyone, including Victor and his proud family.

"Let's go?" Justin said as soon as the lights lit up, while Kate was bowing down to the audience. Samuel sucked in a deep breath, holding it with his jaws clenched; only releasing it when the lights dimmed again.

"Y-yeah... let's go," Samuel said before he and Justin walked towards the center to be seen like a grand spectacle.

_______________

"Go... I got you," Justin said as he halted his steps; standing in position, he urged Samuel to go in the middle. Samuel didn't answer, but the look on his face was enough for Justin to know that Samuel was definitely more nervous than usual— which was odd, because between the two of them, Samuel should be the one who was more used to performing in these kinds of events. Then again, Justin tried not to think deeply into it, since Samuel still went ahead.

*Now playing: HIM : Sam Smith*

Samuel then bit his lower lip so hard it drew blood, trying to calm himself down as he stood alone under the spotlight. He felt so exposed, as if he was not wearing any clothes— still, he held his position and started to spin flawless twizzles by stretching his arms out and turning on both feet at the drop of the song's first beat.

Then he stopped, reaching his hands out towards the light that then blinded his eyes, which actually worked in his favor, since right now, he would really rather go blind.

But of course— he couldn't.

He sucked in another deep breath as he slowly glided around the free space, keeping his fingers taut and graceful, hating the way it were still trembling without his consent. Still, he moved his body as he should, because that's what everyone there were expecting him to do. He spun and took a leap, releasing a breath of relief when he landed it perfectly, now meeting Justin's gaze, staring deeply at him, as if telling him that it was okay— that he was there.

Then they started to move in sync.

_______________

Okay. Justin already knew how nervous Samuel was, but now he felt like there was  definitely something odd about this. 

Their eyes met once, and Justin saw that there was a different emotion behind them.

Something like fear.

Something like pain.

Why, though? Justin thought, as they continued to skate.

Samuel could be just acting of course, since the song they were performing was quite emotional as it is; but then when Samuel hugged him from behind as part of their choreography, Justin felt the latter's trembling past his skin. 

Their routine was different than usual, because then Justin was usually the one who did the lifts, but for this dance, Samuel was the one supporting him. They never encountered any trouble during practice, so now Justin got surprised when Samuel almost lost his grip. Thankfully, Justin still managed to land safely. 

"S-sorry," Samuel mumbled under his breath as he and Justin pressed their bodies together— again, as part of the choreography.

"Don't mind it. We're good. Calm down okay? We're almost done," Justin said before they both stepped back again.

They continued to skate, occupying each space that they had, moving in perfect tune with the beat, acing each turn and leap, that they even heard the audience gasp in unison when Samuel landed another perfect jump.

Their eyes met again as the song reached the bridge— or so Justin thought, because as he stared deeply into Samuel, Justin realized that Samuel wasn't really looking at him right now; and when he turned his back, Justin swore he felt all his blood be drained off of his face, making him turn pale as he continued skating, eyes fixed on the man who was staring past him as well, as if he was not there— as if he didn't even exist.

Then, everything started making sense.

'Though, I think you should know that one wrong move could make this little game of yours turn for the worst. Samuel might not be your type, but he's also someone who's hard to refuse— hard to escape even... I'm telling you because I know someone who got stuck in your little witch's bowl of potions, still unable to get out.'

'First of all, don't get me wrong, okay? Samuel's my friend too and I've even known him longer than you. But you'll get hurt, Jus. That guy... he's not available right now, and I don't think he'll be available anytime soon— maybe even ever.'

'No, he isn't. As far as I know, they're not official. It's actually way more complicated than that. Tch, look. You can get me drunk all you want, but y'know I won't talk unless I want to—unless I can, and in this case... I really can't, Jus. Besides, what would you even do?'

Rose's words and warnings then started flooding in, ringing inside Justin's head as he continued to stare at Victor Owens with the clueless Stacey clinging to him. Then Justin spun and faced Samuel again, seeing an immeasurable kind of pain in the latter's eyes when the diamond of Stacey's engagement ring reflected brightly against the light.

"Samuel..." Justin said, both of them standing still, forgetting about the dance just as the song was nearing its end.

"Samuel," Justin said again, voice getting a little louder this time, but Samuel still wasn't looking at him, and Justin hated every bit of it— hated every bit of this shit that they were now in.

"Samuel Jeon!" Justin exclaimed, feeling his rage surge through his veins, not because of his own feelings, but because he absolutely hated seeing Samuel be in pain.

Samuel then flinched, tearing his eyes off of Stacey's diamond ring that he was now seeing for the first time; noticing how Justin was rushing towards him, pulling him by the arm and turning him around, before cupping his face with his warm hands.

"J-Justin... I—it hurts. It hurts so bad..." Samuel said, voice breaking as he spoke, tears running down his cheeks.

"I know. So don't look at him. Look at me— just me," Justin said as he claimed Samuel's lips in front of everyone there. Then again, Justin couldn't care less about them, for right now, he was only glaring sharply at his own best friend.

Victor Owens.

_______________

This didn't feel right.

Justin was used to the sweet taste of Samuel's lips every time they kissed. It could be heated— could be rough, but it always tasted so sweet, yet right now it was salty. Salty, because of Samuel's tears.

And Justin didn't like it.

He was not liking this.

The lights were already on by the time Justin pulled back, hands still cupping Samuel's face. He leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, taking in the sight of Samuel's pained gaze, all while ignoring the not so silent gasps and whispers coming from the audience.

"H-hey... shh... It's okay. It's okay," Justin whispered, unaware that he was also on the verge of tears, still he did his best to smile, hoping it'd calm Samuel down a bit. Samuel was still crying, but at least now his eyes were on him and that's progress, isn't it?

"Let's get out of here, yeah?" Justin huffed out a lungful of air when Samuel feverishly nodded his head, refusing to stay another minute there, displaying his weakness in front of an audience. Justin then let out a hiss, subtly glaring sharply at Victor again before taking Samuel's hand, pulling him out and away from everyone.

______________

If you'd ask Victor to name one emotion he was feeling, he wouldn't be able to come up with an answer; for right at that moment, he was just numb.

Samuel looked at him with a kind of pain he had never seen before; something that looked somewhat irreversible, which then made Victor hate himself more.

He already expected a fight to blow up between them after the event and he already prepared himself for it, but he didn't expect that it would come to this— all because of that one cursed ring Stacey was flaunting.

Victor wasn't even the one who bought the ring. His dad just gave it to him that morning, saying that he should give it to Stacey before they take her for the night's big event— and as usual, Victor didn't have any say on it. He did as he was told, silently handing the ring to Stacey on their way there, swallowing the heavy feeling in his chest when she started to cry while hugging and thanking him.

Guilt.

Pain.

Regret.

Hate.

Everything bad just came crashing in at Victor, crushing him whole, all while consistently pretending that he was okay.

But now there was no possible way for him not to drop his great facade.

There was no doubt about it. Samuel had seen the ring, and with that, Victor just knew that he and Samuel were thinking about the same thing.

The same promise they had made when they were teens.

______________

[Flashback 5 years ago]

"Pfft... you don't have to be scared. It's not like anyone would recognize us with all these disguises. We're fine, Sammy." Victor slightly pulled down the face mask he was wearing as he and Samuel sat in front of a nearby convenience store, holding their own cans of soda.

"Shut it. I'm not scared for myself— I'm scared for you. Are you sure you weren't followed? W-what if your dad finds out that you sneaked out tonight? I'm running out of band aids, Owens. I don't want to treat another fresh wound—"

"Ssh... It's fine. I made sure the damn guard was sleeping. I went out through the windows. I can assure you, they won't know a thing. Besides, you just won a competition, how can we not celebrate?" Victor held Samuel's hand with a smile on his face— holding it tight when the latter's cheeks flushed pink, eyes fixed on their hands as they intertwined their fingers together.

"I— I'm gonna tell you something. Will you let me?" Samuel suddenly asked, and even without him saying anything yet, Victor could already read his eyes.

The words they both had been holding back.

The unspoken truth.

The open secret, hidden behind all the dirt.

The beautiful dream behind the nightmare, both of them have been living in.

But no.

Not yet.

Such words— such dreams held too much meaning for both of them, and Victor knew that they still couldn't afford to be greedier than this.

With a sigh, Victor then let go off Samuel's hand, taking the pull tab on top of the can of soda he was drinking; then sliding the ring on Samuel's finger, breath shaking, hands trembling as he gently caressed the cheap metal on Samuel's beautiful hand.

"Hold it...hold it until the nightmare ends. By then, I promise you, you'll be wearing a better ring. The kind that sparkles whenever it hits the light. Something you can proudly wear without anyone batting an eye. Then we'll say those words without any need to hide. So for now, hold it. Hold it until fate allows us to dream. Then we'll both be saying the same thing."

[End of flashback]

_______________

Victor then held his breath, clenching his fists tight, aiming to rush at the scene when his father subtly but hardly grabbed him by the arm, stopping him from his tracks.

"I dare you to take another step from here, kid. I swear you'll know what real hell is," William Owens said, keeping his voice low so that only Victor could hear. Which then left Victor with no other choice but to stand still and watch Justin take Samuel away from there— away from him.