Monday 8th September 1823

Adjusting to the loss of my home and all the possessions that were burned with it has been challenging. However, my neighbour has made the transition easier by extending her invitation for both me and Aidan to take shelter in a hay barn on her property, for which we are grateful.

On Saturday evening, she invited us to play a game with her, which allowed us both to feel a little more relaxed. I feel I'm gradually becoming accustomed to our unforeseen, shared living arrangements, and from what I can gather, Aidan seems to feel the same way.

Settling into a new routine has also proved awkward, especially since my arm is not yet fully functional after the injuries I suffered in the fire and I'm unable to offer the help to my neighbour that I would otherwise like to. But I'm fortunate to find solace in the company I currently keep, and I will continue to endeavour to do my best to aid my Catholic comrades in any way I can while my body heals.

I feel blessed that we were able to retreat to a discreet space, away from Protestant eyes, for prayer and mass on Sunday morning. I ensured I thanked God for sending me an angel to take me from the clutches of the fire and into the warm arms of safety, and for the kindness of those around me. I then prayed for guidance, not only for support during the days ahead, but also for resolution regarding the many unanswered questions I had about the situation I found myself in.

It seems that He may have heard my request, for by the end of the same day, I had the answer to one of these issues. Thanks to Aidan, I now know that the fire that burned my home to the ground was started deliberately.

At first, admittedly, I didn't want to know who might do such a thing or why.

But over the last few days, curiosity has been getting the better of me.

And so, after some initial trepidation, I asked the Fire King if he would use his magic to show me what I couldn't see for myself. He agreed, bestowing upon me vivid images of the events that led to the blaze that night.

Watching another scene unfold before me in such an ethereal manner was entrancing, even if the visions themselves were disturbing. But having witnessed the events for myself, I now have good reason to suspect that my unusual preferences for men provided the incentive for the conflagration.

I found this concerning, not just because of the act itself, but because I feared meeting Satan upon my death. However, Aidan has assured me that he considers such judgements to be a human trait, and that our God does not ostracise those based on such predilections.

After some consideration, I've decided that I believe him.

Therefore, even if the perpetrator had succeeded in my execution, at least my belief that I would have been safe from the clutches of Hell has been reinforced, and for that, I'm thankful.

However, in the wake of one distressing matter, we found ourselves vexed by another.

Yesterday evening, around dusk, as we walked across the pastures, we were ambushed by one of the sidhe. With neither of us able to outrun the creature, Aidan again confronted it with his magic, successfully resisting its onslaught and driving it away across the darkening fields.

I feel concerned that this is the second time we have encountered the sidhe in the space of a week. Such frequent happenings involving these sprites is rare, and to attract their attention twice in such a short space of time is unusual, to say the least.

I can't help but feel that there may be more to it than simple misfortune and that perhaps I'm plagued by more than one foe.

At least the sidhe seem to fear Aidan and his sorcery, which works in my favour since I feel safe in his company.

Today's events were relatively unremarkable in comparison to yesterday, save for the local ironmonger seeking out Aidan at the market to discuss a private matter. It was a request that had been predicted by the Fire King as we arrived, leaving me to speculate that his abilities may include precognition.

The two of them disappeared behind a nearby wagon to converse, leaving me unable to listen to the particulars of their discourse. However, the dispositions they held as they both reappeared suggested that the topic of discussion was serious and intense.

Curious as I am, perhaps it is better for me that I remain in blissful ignorance of the details of their exchange.

Monday 15th September 1823

The last week has gone smoothly, which I'm grateful for because it has enabled my arm to recover somewhat. Aidan has been diligent in applying a salve that has helped to ease the burning sensation, and I have found myself with more movement already, enabling me to take on more manual tasks as well as a game or two of bowls, courtesy of our host.

However, our period of serenity was broken this morning by a skirmish that took place at the market. Although nobody was hurt, the altercation culminated in a broken barrel and a threat that has left me apprehensive about the future.

I confided my trepidation to Aidan, who has offered his reassurance that there is no need for any immediate concern. After previously bearing witness to his ability to gauge elements of the future, and observing the confidence he exuded as he spoke, I'm inclined to believe his prediction. However, it is not without some residual unease, and I intend to remain guarded.

On a more positive note, several opportunities to converse with Aidan and find out more about him have arisen during the last few days. And although I've discovered that his early life seems to be unusual compared to those of us that live in Doran, I'm still no closer to finding out where this mysterious man came from. Whether or not he is an angel of the Lord (or some other supernatural being) remains to be determined.

Sunday 21st September 1823

Nightmares have continued to plague me. Persistent in their malevolence, they bring unrelenting terror with their nightly intrusions. My sleep is frequently disturbed, and I often lie petrified at times when I should be resting.

Sometimes I find myself stumbling through thick, grey smoke as raging flames devour my home without mercy. Trapped and alone, I'm forced to relive the moment that all hope drained from me and I sunk to my knees in my kitchen, resigned to the notion that I wouldn't survive the burning inferno enveloping me.

Sometimes I'm surrounded by the shadowy sidhe, caught in the swirling mists of their oppressive sorcery and disorientated by their mysterious incantations. Flailing tends to be futile, for even with my arms thrashing wildly to try to force them from my vicinity, they persist in their assault.

But one thing is consistent. Whenever I wake from these macabre visions, Aidan lies next to me on the hay. Sometimes he stirs from his slumber, but mostly he seems oblivious to the disturbances caused by my harrowing dreams.

For that, I feel grateful. At least I can take some solace in the knowledge that my anguish isn't disrupting his sleep as well as my own. I find his presence comforting enough, and he could do little else for me even if he were awake.

Therefore, during our provisional morning mass, I silently prayed that the Fire King might be granted that which he seeks the most. By his own account, it seems to be his greatest desire to return home. And although I'm still none the wiser regarding where he might call 'home,' I assumed that God would understand the sentiment, and so I wished for a swift and safe path to present itself to Aidan when the time is right.

I'm ashamed to say that such a simple act proved challenging, because although I would like to be altruistic in my prayers, there is part of me that selfishly wants the Fire King to stay.

Friday 26th September 1823

The partial recovery of my arm has incentivised my neighbour to offer us a loan.

I reminded her that she had already been kind enough to us, providing us with food and shelter, and has done so without prior warning. However, she reasoned that the work we've done around her farm during my recovery period has been good for her income, and that we should take a few coins for ourselves while she has a few to spare.

With encouragement from Aidan, I was somewhat excited to spend our loan on new tools at the market today, since they will help with my ability to restart the craft by which I earn my trade. I'll undoubtedly need some additional practice before I'm able to turn this into a feasible source of income, but I feel positive about the investment we've made, and motivated in this new endeavour. Making it work may prove difficult as I continue to prioritise the tasks assigned to me by our host, but I'm committed to the cause.

Thursday 2nd October 1823

Gold and crimson leaves are starting to dominate the branches of trees as the last of the green remnants of summer are transformed by the change of season. Clusters of pink fruits with bright orange seeds saturate their parent spindle trees, and I find myself held captivated by them. Although inedible to us, I've noticed that they are often sought after by birds and other small animals, and their vivid colour never fails to bring joy to me as the insipidness of winter approaches.

Today, our focus was on collecting the fruits that were most useful to our needs. With a large pail each, Aidan and I scoured the bushes, picking many plump damsons that were growing abundantly in the hedgerows alongside the smaller sloe berries that adorned the neighbouring blackthorn thickets. Higher up, sweet cherries and compact bunches of elderberries attracted our attention with their resplendent hues. Too tempting to pass by, we added a selection of them to our yield before they were inevitably pilfered by birds.

Foraging has become more regular in the last few days, and this week's prior endeavours have already provided us with wild mushrooms, fraughan and hazelnuts. I feel grateful that so much has been supplied to us by nature at this time of year which we can use to prepare for the austere winter months that will follow.

Aidan and I have also become more efficient at catching sea creatures from the coast, while ensuring that we stay away from the river. Even though any discord with the sidhe appears to have subsided for now, it is in our best interests not to irk them. Therefore, it seems prudent to avoid their dwelling near the hawthorn on the opposite side of the freshwater stream.

However, despite the current calm, the sinister sprites still hound me in my dreams. Perhaps it's a sign that my body is healing faster than my mind?

Friday 10th October 1823

Resuming my previous occupation has yielded its first hint of success, as today's visit to the market bore my first independent earnings since the fire. The revenue made me excited about the potential to recover my trade, but I also know I need to take any progress slowly. For now, I intend to continue to share a stall with my neighbour and hope that my diligence will provide additional favourable outcomes.

During the time we spent in the market, I noted that Aidan seemed to be recognised as an ordinary part of Doran life. As the local residents become more accustomed to seeing him around the village, his presence seems to be increasingly accepted, and, although the process has been gradual, he also seems more settled here than he has been previously.

But I cannot help but wonder, for how long? I know he continues to search for a way home, and that he will leave if he finds the path he seeks.

Selfishly, I still long for him to stay. I enjoy his company and the warmth of his touch, and I'm grateful for the comfort he offers from my nightmares.

I keep telling myself that I survived before he came into my life, and that I will continue to survive when he inevitably leaves. But something inexplicable has changed for me, and no amount of logic seems to be able to combat the inexorable feeling of emptiness I know will fill my soul will feel in his absence when that day comes.

Tuesday 14th October 1823

The weather has turned autumnal. The coastal breeze has changed direction, bringing a bout of colder weather with it, resulting in a distinctly icy bite to the air.

Yesterday, my neighbour, and now dear friend, has suggested that Aidan and I might now sleep in the house instead of her barn, since she was concerned that we might contract influenza with no fire in the barn to keep us warm. It seems that throughout our time here a mutual trust has blossomed, and with our deepest appreciation, the Fire King and I accepted her proposal wholeheartedly.

She offered us a room upstairs, including a spacious bed that she suggested we share.

As we settled into our new accommodation for the night, away from the bitterness of the incoming winter months, Aidan and I experienced a significant shift in our relationship. It transpired that my unorthodox desire for him was reciprocated, and I could barely contain my elation as our friendship took a physical turn.

When his lips first moved against mine, it felt like God had lifted me to a higher plane of existence. The sensation was like no other I've ever experienced - unreal, almost. Wonderous beyond words.

Exploring the delights of each other in this way could only have been comparable to heaven itself, and the experience has left me longing for us to connect in such intimacy again.