i'd told him to leave

but he wouldn't budge

he just stared at me.

his eyes were concerned

and i hated that.

his knuckles were bloody

and i hated that.

he was there

and i'm not sure

if i loved

or hated that.

i opened the window

and just looked him in the eyes

the blue ocean like skies

piercing trough my soul

enlightening the blood

that flows trough my veins

like the cracks

in concrete.

"i need you eli,"

he said in a whisper.

"i needed you too,"

i answered.

"i was always here

you just didn't come,"

he said with

sorrow

that melted

my heart.

"i couldn't,

and you know why."

he looked down, he saw

under my sleeves

and a final tear

left his eye.

"i was the cause of this."

"no, it was pain,"

i said.

"they told me you were bad

they said you were mad

they wanted me with someone else

and i tried

i hated it

but i tried

and i couldn't."

i shook my head

"even if i was told to

i wouldn't."

and then there was pain

i said my goodbye

i closed the window

and pulled the curtains

tumbling to the ground

as my knees gave away.

"i love you," he shouted

through the glass

but i couldn't

i broke

and i couldn't get up.