i noticed

jean in school that day

he wore a black shirt

and dark jeans

and his bright blue eyes

stood out

from all the dark colors

he wore

and his lips never

failed to form a smile

but when he thought

nobody was watching

his eyes would look sad

the type of sad i felt

the first night in the closet

and when he'd look up again

facing the world

he'd have his head high

and his eyes wide

and i don't know

how nobody seemed

to notice how sad he really looked

when he thought

no one was looking

and maybe

just like me

his monsters wore

an angel mask.

my sister cried that day

because she couldn't learn to divide

and mom was never good at math

and so i helped her

and i counted

the ninety eight

night my father

didn't come home

and once again

my mother started to cry

and once again

i wasn't speaking with jean levi.