Reina: For laughs, here's this story.

Can you guys let me know if I did Owain's lines justice?

Original Fairy Tale Name: Puss in Boots

Original Collector/Writer: We don't know! But Perrault adapted it at some point.

Once upon a time, there lived a man by the name of Henry. Henry was a miller with three sons - Morgan, Gerome, and Inigo. When Henry was about to die, he summoned his three sons and began to give them gifts.

To Morgan, the oldest, he gave him the mill.

To Gerome, the middle child, he gave him a horse.

And to Inigo, the youngest, he gave him....

A cat.

After doing this, Henry died.

Inigo was angry that he had a cat. He laid down on his bed, trying to figure out what to do. Since Morgan owned the mill, he couldn't exactly do anything to earn money.

"Yo," the cat said.

"Gah!" Inigo jumped up. "Who said that?"

"I did!"

Inigo looked at his cat. "What."

The cat stood up on his hind legs. "I am the legendary Owain Dark!"

Inigo looked at the cat. After a few seconds he laid back down, saying "Maybe I shouldn't drink wine..."

"Deluded fool!" Owain yelled as he hit Laslow in the head. "I will make thee a worthy man!"

"NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT!" Inigo yelled at Owain.

Owain ignored him. "I need some clothes to look decent. Can you fetch me a pair of boots made of ire?"

Grumbling, Inigo got up and left the house. When he returned two hours later, he saw Owain wearing some clothes that he outgrew and admiring himself in the mirror.

"Thank you, underling!" Owain yelled cheerfully as he snatched his boots from Inigo. "I will now go out and mete out justice!"

Inigo shook his head and left the room. What was wrong with this cat? (Reina's note: EVERYTHING is wrong with him.)

After putting on his boots, Owain left the house and wandered outside. Seeing a rabbit in the distance, he snuck up behind it and killed it. He then carried with him to the castle, where he requested an audience with the king.

After waiting for several minutes, Owain was allowed in the court. Bowing, he presented the rabbit to the King.

"King Chrom," Owain stated as he offered the rabbit. "My legendary lord Laslow of Nohr presents this as a gift." (Reina: Why'd you change Inigo's name?)

Chrom raised his eyebrow. He thought he saw everything when it came to strangeness (such as a princess waking up after a 100 years, a girl being sent flying into the air after throwing herself off of a boat, a hedgehog turning into a human, etc.) but a lord sending a talking cat in boots definitely took the cake. Pausing for a minute, he accepted the cat's gift. "Thank you...?"

"The legendary hero Owain Dark!"

Chrom smiled. "Thank you Odin."

The next day Owain returned with a quail. Chrom was surprised that Owain had returned so quickly, but he accepted the quail nevertheless.

Two days after meeting the crazy cat, Owain returned with a diamond (that he dug up, but he didn't tell Inigo about it). Chrom was impressed, and he accepted this gift as well. Soon, Owain was bringing stuff to Chrom everyday, claiming that it was from "Lord Laslow." Chrom kept accepting the gifts under the impression that "Laslow" was a wealthy man.

One day, when Owain had given Chrom a sword named "Shadow Darkness," Chrom's daughter Lucina walked in. Chrom smiled when he saw his daughter. "Ah! Lucina."

Lucina nodded and smiled at her father. "Are we going to travel to Nohr?"

Chrom smiled and nodded. "Of course!" Turning to Owain, he gave the feline an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Owain. I won't be able to accept any gifts from Lord Laslow tomorrow."

"That is alright," the cat smiled deviously, already plotting a new plan

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

The next day, Owain dragged Laslow out to a river in Nohr. Knowing full well that Chrom would head this way to a local castle, the cat ordered the young man to strip his clothes off and take a bath in the stream. As Laslow entered the stream, he saw Owain shred his clothes and bury them under a rock.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Inigo yelled.

"Hush," the cat replied as he put his paw up to shush him. "Thou art a legendary lord that is about to level up." Before leaving, the cat added, "Oh, and your name is now Lord Laslow of Nohr."

"DON'T GO AROUND AND CHANGE MY NAME!" Laslow yelled at the cat. "AND NO ONE SAYS THAT STUFF LIKE THAT ANYMORE!"

Owain didn't hear Laslow. Instead, he watched the road, waiting for Chrom to come by with Lucina.

Upon seeing the white carriage, Owain ran to the carriage and waved his arms around in circles. "Help me!"

Chrom ordered for the carriage to be stopped. Peeking his head out, he saw Owain running around in circles like a maniac. "What happened?"

"A blasted thief with white hair and an eyepatch stole my master's clothes while milord was bathing in the stream!" (Reina's note: And why should I listen to the talking cat?)

Chrom's eyes widened. "That's not good..." He handed the feline a pack of fine clothes. "Give these to Lord Laslow, and tell him that he can join us."

Smiling, the cat ran scampered off to Inigo and ordered him to wear the nice clothes. After putting on the clothes, Inigo joined Chrom and Lucina, where Lucina crushed on Inigo.

Owain, on the other hand, ran ahead to the local village. Catching the townspeople's attention, he declared -

"Milord Laslow is coming through. If you do not respect my master, you shall face my master's mighty sword hand!"

And so the people listened to the cat in boots.

When he reached the castle, he barged in unannounced. An ogre came out to meet the feline. "Leave, or I will eat you!"

"Nothing scares Odin Dark!" The cat yelled, temporarily changing his name.

The ogre smirked and turned into a lion. Despite scaring the hell out of the smaller creature, Owain didn't show it and pulled a sword out.

"My blood aches for battle! Turn into something smaller, like that of a mouse!"

The ogre laughed. He turned into a mouse, causing the cat to tackle him. "Level up!" Owain yelled as he killed the ogre and disposed of his body.

When Chrom and co entered the city, they were amazed at the amount of the people cheering for Lord Laslow. They reached the castle, where the cat waited for them with food. Impressed, Chrom allowed for Inigo to marry Lucina.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End

Starring:

Owain as the cat wearing boots

Inigo as the miller's youngest son

Chrom as the king

Lucina as the princess

Some Risen as the troll

Henry as the miller

Morgan as the oldest son

Gerome as the second son

Notes:

- In the original tale, the second son received mules, not a horse

- The cat only wore boots

- Other than rabbit, its never stated what the cat brought the king. Here, Owain brought him food and wealth

- I can't remember how the cat found out the king was using a carriage

- The cat didn't destroy the clothes - he merely hid them behind a rock

- When the cat talked to the townspeople, he said something along the lines of turning them into mincemeat

- No, Chrom wasn't there for all of the other fairy tales

The next fairy tales are:

- German Cinderella (Azura)

- French Cinderella (Marth)

- The Tailor Who Sold His Soul to the Devil (Forrest)

- Kachi-Kachi Yama (Odin)

- Hansel and Gretel

I'm still debating who to use for Hansel and Gretel. It's either:

- Saizo as Hansel and Kaze as Gretel;

- Male Kana as Hansel and female Kana as Gretel

- or Chrom as Hansel and Lissa as Gretel

I myself am leaning either towards Saizo and Kaze (which would be funny) or Chrom and Lissa (because I find it funny as well.)

Both Morgans will appear in the tale "Brother and Sister." (German version)

If both Kanas don't win Hansel and Gretel, they will appear in "Kisa the Cat"

If Chrom and Lissa lose, they will appear in "The Lost Children", which is like Hansel and Gretel

If Saizo and Kaze lose, then they will appear in "The Armless Maiden", because I am a bit of a sadist. And Kaze will be the girl in this story. Don't know if I'll genderbend him.... Should I?

If a pair wins... Then Ike and Mist will take their place. So if Chrom and Lissa win, then Ike and Mist will do the Lost Children.