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Chapter 18 - No Going Back


ROSE'S POV-

"Scorpius, your fathers dead." I said in a shaky voice. Silence. His eyes glazed over and he didn't move. "Did you hear me?" I asked. More silence. I knew that this wouldn't be good. Al had told me we should come home. For the funeral and all. But we couldn't do that if Scorpius wasn't ok. "Scorpius, please answer me." I begged. "He-he-h-h-he's dead?" He stuttered. His eyes filled with tears and he looked like a small child who'd lost his family. And I guess, in a way, he had. I nodded as tears streamed down my own face. "How?" He asked softly. "Lucius. They got into a duel, I think. And your dad, he looked away for one second. Lucius, he shot a curse at him. It killed him." I said as a sob escaped me.

He sat quite as tears streamed down his face. "We need to go back." I said. He shook his head. "No. We can't." He said. "But we need to. Your mother wants to see you, and the funeral." I said quietly. "It doesn't matter. We can't go back." He insisted. I dropped the subject and decided I'd bring it up again when he was in his right mind. We sat in silence more a few minutes more. "So, he's really gone?" He asked.

I wanted to say no. Everything in me wanted to tell him his father was alive and this was all just a bad dream. But I couldn't. Scorpius was always pretty close with his father. He trusted and looked up to him. He admired how much he had changed. He loved him and now he'd never hear his voice again.

I nodded and his face crumpled. Tears leaked down his face and a sob escaped him. He leaned against me and I stroked his pale hair. My heart was shattering. It just wasn't fair. Hadn't Lucius already inflicted enough pain? He'd already torn apart my family and his existence is enough to tear apart Scorpius's. Why does he have to take it even farther? We sat on the floor like that for who knows how long. Him, crying, and me trying not to. After a while he seemed to shudder weirdly and then look up at me. "What happened?" He asked. "What?" I asked again. "Why are we here?" He asked in a dream like tone. Confusion swept over me. "What are you talking about?" I asked. He shook his head quickly and his eyes opened a little wider. "Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked. "Because, you're acting really weird. You keep asking me what happened." I said feeling a tad bit scared. This wasn't the first time this had happened. In the last week or so he'd be doing this weird thing where he'd act like he didn't know what was going on.

A look of realization crossed over his face and he gave me a watery smile. "I guess it's just denial, or whatever. I'm sorry. I'm just feeling kind out of it." He said. "Deciding not to push the matter I moved on. "Are you ok? With your dad and everything." I asked nervously. His eyes filled with a fresh set of tears and my heart sank. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. It was a stupid question." I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "It's fine, really." He said into my shoulder.

We stayed like that for a while longer until I realized he was starting to fall asleep. "Hey, let me help you into the bed. I don't know how comfortable it would be to sleep on the floor." I said as I gave him a small shake. He nodded sleepily and I helped him stand up. I could tell he was almost completely out of it because he was resting his entire body weight on me. After struggling for several minutes I finally managed to get him asleep in bed. Double checking that he was asleep I made my way over to the table and sat down. I grabbed the letter all had sent only hours before and reread it as I had already done a dozen times.

Lucius came and Draco's dead. They dueled and Draco looked away for a split second. It was enough for Lucius to finish him off. Astoria found him dead and has been a mess ever since. All she wants is Scorpius but if you guys can't come I'm sure I could make up a cover story. Oh, and just to remind you, everyone thinks your "honeymoon" is ending next week. So by then you need to come up with something to tell everyone. Alice and I love and miss you. Please stay safe. -Al

Every time I read it I still feel the same. Draco Malfoy is dead. To some that might be something to be celebrated. But not me. No matter how weird it sounds, he's my father-in-law. He's family. He's also a perfect example of how people can change. From being a death eater to a loving father. It's possible. But all his efforts have gone to waste because he's dead. I decided I need to talk to Scorpius about things when he wakes up. I know he doesn't want to go back and quite frankly, I don't want to either. It'll just complicate things. I'll have to see my parents again, which would be great. But that just means I'll have to leave them again ] and I don't think I have enough in me to go through that again. But then there was the funeral. It would be extremely difficult to make an excuse to not be there. From what Al said Astroia's a mess and I can only imagine how awful it would be if her son wasn't at her side at the funeral of her husband. Deciding I should update Al of all that happened I wrote him a letter.

Al, Draco's death has defiantly come as a shock. Scorp's a mess and I really don't know what to do. And to top it all off, he doesn't want to come home. He won't tell me why though. Earlier today, (right before I got your owl) several explosions happened around us. At the end Lucius's voice rang out and said something along the lines of "just wait and see what I've done and then maybe you'll stop chasing after me." We're ok, it just scared both of us. Also, Scorpius has been doing this thing where he zones out, forgets what's happened in the last few hours, and then snaps back into reality as soon as I call him out. He keeps making excuses but I think somethings wrong. I'll get back and tell you what we decide about the funeral. I love and miss you two too! - Rose

After sending the letter to Al I crawled into bed next to Scorpius. He was still in a deep sleep. I started to think about the day. All had been going ok until the "bombs" went off. The more I thought about it, the stranger it seemed. Our tent is invisible and guarded by extremely heavy protective spells. How did Lucius know exactly where we are? It just didn't add up. Eventually I drifted off to sleep only to we awoken by the sound of an owl pecking on a window. Being the light sleeper I am I quickly jumped out of bed and made my way over to the kitchen window. Checking the time I realized it was 3:00 A.M. and I couldn't think of any reason why anyone would be sending me a letter a this time.

Scorpius's owl, Shase flew in and she looked awful. She was covered in blood and missing several feathers. Her left wing was bent at an unnatural angel and one of her feet was hanging on by a thread. A hand flew to my mouth and I suppressed a scream. I noticed the letter tied to her leg and gingerly took it. Unfolding it I realized something. It was the same letter I'd sent to Al earlier. But now, it was covered in fresh, scarlet blood. A picture fell from it and I picked it up. Already shaking with fear I turned it over and screamed. It was a picture of Al. But he wasn't Al. He was beat up, bloody, and looked dead. "Stop searching for me. Maybe this will finally teach you a lesson" Was scrawled in blood across the bottom.

I collapsed in a crumpled heap in the middle of the kitchen floor and started to do something that sounded like a mixture of a shriek and a sob. I wasn't able to think clearly. All I could see was Al's dead body. Seconds later the light turned on and Scorpius ran in. He was rubbing his face in an attempt to wake up. He then saw me on the floor and rushed to my side. "What wrong?" He asked, clearly horrified. I wasn't able to speak, just cry. "Rose, talk to me." He begged. "What happened?" He asked. I pointed a wobbly finger at his owl and he gasped. I then handed him the letter and picture. His eyes scanned the page and his expression darkened. "I-i-i sent that to Al a few hours ago. S-s-s-s-s-omeone sent m-m-me it back and now i-i-it's bloody and Al's d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dead." I stuttered and burst into a fresh set of tears. He seemed unable to speak. "It's Lucius. H-h-he knows we're here. He's coming." I said as I started to hyperventilate. I had never been this hysterical before. I just couldn't stop screaming. He was dead. Al was dead. It's all I could think of. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. I thought about it again, and again, and again.

Wordlessly, Scorpius starting to throw things into a bag. "What are you doing?" I asked through tears. "Packing. We need to get out of here." He said as he continued. "How can you think straight when he's dead? He's dead Scorpius." I said through sobs. Suddenly he was by my side with his arms around me. "I know. But we need to pack. We need to go somewhere where Lucius can't find us. We need to get out of here. Do you think you can help me get our things together?" He asked calmly. I felt like a child. But it was ok. Everything was numb. So to have someone guide me felt nice. So I nodded and started to grab essential items.

I barley knew what I was doing. But in 10 minutes we were ready. "We're going to go to a muggle motel, ok?" He asked. I nodded blindly. We each grabbed a bag and linked arms. We then apparated. Our feet landed on the hard ground in front of a 24 hour muggle motel. Scorpius guided me inside and payed for a room with some spare muggle money I had brought. Stumbling down the hall we made it to the room and he locked the door. I sat on the bed and put my head in my hands. Fresh tears poured down my cheeks and I could hardly breath. It was silent except for the occasional sound of my ragged breaths.

"I don't think he's dead." Said Scorpius, breaking the silence. I lifted my head. "What?" I asked. "I don't think he's dead. Sure, it's obvious that he's seriously injured. But I don't think he's dead. I know Lucius is an awful, ruthless person. And he says he wants us to stop looking for him. But that's a lie. He loves the game. The game of leading us on and then hurting us. He killed my father." He said with a deep breath and an attempt to compose himself. "That really hurt us. But I think he's just leading us on and getting us to believe he killed Al. And he knows that yes, it's going to hurt us to think he's dead. But it's also going to fuel us to fight back even harder." He said.

"So, you don't think he's dead?" I said through tears. "No. I don't." He answered. "We can't check though. It's to dangerous for us to send a letter." He said. "So how will we know? Are we just supposed to assume he's alive?" I said. "I guess so." He answered. "I can't do that! I have to know." I yelled through tears. He put a hand on each of my shoulders to steady me. "We can't know. We just have to hope." He said calmly. I put my head on his shoulder and started to cry again. "We can't go back." He said. Not wanting to accept it I remained quite. But I knew. I knew that it would be a long time until I saw my family again. It would be a long time until I could confirm Al's death. But I'd just have to live with it. No matter how awful it felt, I'd just have hope for the best. There was no going back.

And the hits just keep coming. I'm sorry you guys. I just keep killing people! (Figuratively,not really) I promise though, things will turn out alright. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I can honestly say it's been one of the easiest to write. I can't remember the last time I wrote a chapter without a ton of stress. All of the feedback on last chapter made me soooooooooooo happy. 50 VIEWS IN 24 HOURS! Y'ALL ARE THE BEST! Anyways, I really hope you love this chapter just as much as the last. I love y'all! Remember to vote, comment, and keep reading! XOXO

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