The circus hummed with a strange energy that met Leanna when she stepped out of her tent and headed toward the Big Top. Though a somber cloud cloaked the performers heading to and away from the massive tent, the air stirred with awareness.

One day until opening day.

Leanna hauled in a breath—one more day until she appeared to the world, and perhaps to her sisters, as the magnificent Leanan Sidhe. This was enough to cause any stomach to tighten. But Leanna barely felt it. The butterflies fluttering within her were much stronger.

Finvarra had kissed her, and it had been heavenly, his every touch patient, every sigh heartfelt. Leanna pressed fingers to her lips, a gradual smile curved there. He'd also come to see her as she'd slept. Of all of Yelena's help, Leanna was most grateful for her disclosing of Finvarra's frequent visits and furtive caresses as she slumbered.

Then there were the books he'd left at her bedside. Upon awakening, Leanna found the thick books stacked on the nightstand, beside a vase of snow white vanilla flowers. One on top of the other were, "The History of Faeries" and "Pixies, Goblins, Elves, and Other Magical Beings." The top book, however, had been the greatest gift of all. It was "The Kings of Forever." A small sprig of vanilla peeked from in between the pages. When Leanna flipped to the page, she found it marked to "King Finvarra."

Remembering the previous night, how he'd opened himself to her like a book, a knot swelled in Leanna's throat. Shyly, she darted her gaze around the field. Maybe she would see him?

All thoughts muddled when closer to the Big Top now, a familiar voice boomed from inside.

"One more time, Vicente," Kioyo called, "From the top!"

Within moments, a violin, and then a harp. Leanna sucked in a quiet gasp. Kioyo's performance!

Her heart pounded, propelling her feet forward. Dashing into the Big Top, she froze beside the gallery seats, shielded by the shadows there.

A clown—not Kioyo—rode a unicycle around the ring, performing marvelous tricks. From standing on the seat, to riding it around the wooden embankment of the ring, he was flawless. Still, it wasn't Kioyo, and Leanna frowned. Surely she'd heard his voice...

She moved forward, touring her eyes along the seats. The sight of another clown gave her steps and her heart pause. Kioyo sat in the gallery seats, his painted eyes open wide as he gazed at this rider full of awe... and yearning. His hands gathered greedily at his mouth as if he could taste the routine.

The rider stopped in the middle of the ring and dismounted. Wiping the sweat from his brow with a dramatic flourish of his hands, he walked away, vanishing behind a curtain. Kioyo stood up, and at once, the music changed. It slowed, enough to weave itself around a heart and pluck at the heartstrings. It was not booming music, not the type she'd expect from a clowns act. The tune was gentle and soothing. Flutes and xylophones were favored over drums and cymbals, and to accentuate emotion, the trickling notes of a piano like raindrops on the keys.

In equal fluttering steps, Kioyo abandoned his seat and stepped into the light, his gold vest adding an ethereal glow to his olive skin. He stared at the invisible audience with a wide painted smile. His eye brows pulsed twice. He meant to ride it.

With beautiful liquid like swirls on pointe, Kioyo whirled toward the ring. After looking both ways for the rider, he then stared down at the unicycle. Pressing a finger to his decorated mouth as if wondering how on earth to ride the thing, Kioyo looked up to the heavens—or rather, the remaining fireflies above. His face brightened as an idea came upon him—an idea he demonstrated by digging into his pockets and throwing a handful of glitter into the air. As the sparkles rained down, Kioyo picked up the unicycle and held it steady. Putting a foot on the pedal, he attempted to jump on, but the unicycle rolled forward. He stumbled back into a tuck and tumble that sent sawdust and glitter misting into the air. Leanna giggled, but covered her mouth to shield the sound.

Numerous times he tried to climb; only to fall into a cloud of sparkles. Trying once and again, Kioyo mounted the unicycle. It slipped, but shooting his arms at his side, he maneuvered it back under him. He remained here for a moment, never falling. Covering his face, his shoulders slumped with a theatrical sigh of relief. He looked back to the audience, a smile on his face. Leanna mirrored the smile, so very happy for him.

He pedaled once... and again...and again, keeping his hands at his sides. Keeping balance, he rolled around the ring, free and smiling. Leanna was moments away from clapping when Kioyo's mouth looped into an O as he rode faster and faster, unable to stop. His hat flew from his head, and then the flower from his vest pocket. Frightened, he covered his eyes. He hit the rings edge and was thrust forward, landing in a tuck and tumble until he stopped in front of the gallery seats, flat on his back.

Kioyo sat up and shook his head to gather his wits. He covered his face with his hands, ashamed. When he let them slip away, his painted smile was a frown. Leanna sighed with a small sound of sympathy, though a smile still graced her lips.

Standing, Kioyo moped away from the unicycle, fear having gotten the best of him. He needed no lover to yearn for, not when he had this metallic paramour that rode away from him the more he wanted it.

But then he stopped sharply and looked to the audience. No, his look said. One more time...

Shedding the hat and vest, Kioyo walked to the unicycle, determined. Mounting it fluidly, he took off, navigating the ring. Again, he began to go faster and faster... only where he previously covered his eyes, Kioyo held his arms open and let the breeze caress him, brushing away his fear. Leanna clapped silently. He was doing it!

Kioyo danced, the unicycle now lost to his movements as if an extension of himself. He spun as if twirling on ice, balanced on the seat while in arabesque, reaching for the heavens. The music swayed with his lyrical moves, swelling with his speed, gliding with his beauty. He was positively radiant.

By and by the music diminished, and the unicycle slowed, until coming to a stop. All that was left was Kioyo, his unicycle and the trail of painted stars trailing from his eyes, mirroring Leanna's real tears of wonder.

Kioyo nodded once at Vicente, who returned the gesture and turned, wiping the sweat from his brow. Vicente stopped mid-stroke, catching sight of Leanna. Kioyo trailed Vicente's gaze. Seeing Leanna, he didn't even blink.

No longer able to hide, Leanna abandoned her shadowy corner. Hands fisting her cloak, she took a step toward him. Kioyo dismounted instantly and did the same, but in seeing her tears, the uncertain look in his face bowed to concern. His steps doubled in time, reaching her before another tear fell from her eyes.

"Did something happen?" he asked, his gentle tones brimming with concern.

Leanna shook her head, hauling a deep breath through her nose. She waved a hand feebly in the air, then giggled at her girlish tears. "I'm sorry; it's just I've always wanted to see this circus. My mother spoke of its beauty, and when I walked in you were performing..." She trailed off, emotions stealing her voice.

Kioyo chuckled, lifting a hand to a lingering tear. He tipped her chin upward, his expression softened. "Was it truly that bad that I've reduced you to tears?"

She laughed through a sniffle. "It was everything I dreamed it to be, and I am so happy to see you."

Kioyo smiled, blushing. "And I you," he said quietly. Holding her stare, a troubled look clouded his gaze and his smile fell. Too did his hand from her face. He raked a hand through his hair and turned away. Without another word, he walked to his belongings and began wiping away the face paint with a towel, starting at his forehead.

The change was troublesome, and Leanna watched him a moment. Had she said something wrong? "Kioyo?" She walked up behind him. "I really did think it was beautiful...

His hands lowered. "I didn't find Inara," he said, never meeting Leanna's eyes. Twisting the towel in his hands, he shook his head. "She's covered her tracks well. I suspect she's not only hiding from Machina, but from us as well, and I couldn't find her."

"Neither did Finvarra, and well, Krinard..." Leanna uttered a quiet prayer for his safety. "He's yet to return, so there is still hope—"

"That isn't it, Leanna." Kioyo huffed an exhale. "I failed. My reasons for going out there mean nothing now because I failed to find her... and I failed you."

Leanna opened her mouth to negate this, but brown eyes met hers and she swallowed her words.

"My people were going to war," he started quietly, sitting down. "It was all they ever did, but this time it was different. A rival clan went against the code of our kind, and aligned with the trolls to take over our land. They promised the trolls the precious stones found in our mines in exchange for their help at driving my people out from our land. The trolls had more advanced weaponry. We knew the battle was lost before the first stone had been cast, but my father was the leader of our tribe. Regardless of whether we won or lost, he had to fight for our honor." Kioyo shook his head. "He sent letters and messengers, asking me to be there when they rode out. But I..." He raked a hand roughly through his hair, tugging at the nape. "I didn't write back. I didn't join them."

"But you had a life in the circus." Leanna sat beside him, hoping he'd feel her support. "You had to perform and had other responsibilities. Surely they could not have expected you to go."

"I didn't go, but not because of responsibilities and performances. I was scared, Leanna. I was scared." He lowered his eyes to his clasped hands. "I hid behind the gates of Forever, too afraid to join my father. We were taught to honor our parents and our ancestors, and I should have faced him, should have at least been man enough to tell him face to face that I wasn't going to fight. But I was scared of his reaction, scared of dying. So I hid like a coward, and now they're all dead."

Kioyo stood up, walking few feet away as if to create distance between him and his memories. "Of everything, the worst has been wondering what my father's last thoughts were. Did he die hurt and ashamed, thinking that his son abandoned him, that his son was a coward?" He let his head fall back and stared at the remaining fireflies.

"I thought this was my chance. If I found Inara and braved Machina, I could finally prove to myself that I could be brave. Instead you almost lost your life, and I ended up proving to everyone that I'm a fool. I failed my people, I failed Inara, I failed the Ringmaster... and I failed you." The painted joy on Kioyo' lips accentuated the shame in his eyes. "What I did was stupid." Extending a blink, he draped the towel over his shoulder. "You were my responsibility. You were under my care. It was for me to protect you, but I didn't—"

"Enough of that," Leanna snapped. Hearing him say that burned. "I was a burden to my family for too many years. I refuse to be one here. I am under no one's responsibility, and it was wrong of Finvarra to make you my guard."

Kioyo went to speak, but Leanna shook her head, silencing him. Eyes fixed on his; she neared him, and slipped the towel from his shoulder. She gave him a small smile, finally understanding the significance of his performance. "You are brave. Not anyone would cross those crystals knowing of the enemy on the other side. But you did." Brushing away black strands from his forehead, she wiped the painted starry tears with gentle strokes. "This is not your fault."

Cradling her elbow, Kioyo halted her hand. He looked at her, the golden lights above warming his eyes. "Neither is it yours."

The words hurt, and Leanna's hands fell away from him at once. Turning, she hugged herself against the shiver of guilt trickling down her spine. "I wish I believed that." Lifting her sights at the remaining pixies, guilt deepened. "But I look up there and still see the pixies falling. I still see that cursed crab there, waiting for me, reminding me of my foolishness. I know it just happened, but I don't think the guilt will ever go away."

Kioyo came up beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Then we'll face it, together." He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "You have to get back on that rope, but you have nothing to be scared of. I'm here now, and we can do a simple routine, until you are ready. I'm sure the Ringmaster will understand."

"No," Leanna said, her voice as steady as the rope she gazed at. "I won't let Machina win this. I pitied her before, knowing of her heartbreak, but no more. She doesn't deserve my sympathy. She doesn't deserve my fear." She met Kioyo's stare. "And the pixies deserve more. They died for me."

Leanna slid off her cloak and set it at the nearest seat. The little glass beads on the skirt caught the gilded light, and reflected small rainbows against the white fabric. "I have to get on that rope, regardless of how many times it is cut beneath me."

Kioyo tilted his head. He gazed at her a moment as if having discovered something new. "Something has changed." His eyes narrowed. "You've changed."

"Everything has," Leanna admitted quietly. "I finally realized that my link to this circus was not the delirium of a lonely, sickly girl. I've been a part of this circus, of all of you, long before I ever came here." She clutched the crystal tightly. "I know you warned me against it, but I know him, Kioyo. Call it magic, fate... craziness, but I know Finvarra. This circus means everything to him. He carries the desire to free you all within his soul. It is that soul that I know, that I've always known..."

Leanna trailed off remembering the many times she fought her sisters in defending Finvarra's name and the circus—how bothered she'd be when hearing of the many investigations, knowing deep within that Finvarra was innocent. Her heart warmed thinking of how he trespassed onto her dreams as well...

Noting Kioyo's surprised gaze, Leanna shook her head. "You probably think I'm immature and inexperienced, and make no sense at all—"

"You make perfect sense." A smile curved his lips upward, but it never reached his eyes. "You are his soul's heart, and he is yours. Lucky is the person who can find it. Not all of us do."

This gave Leanna pause. Ellie had told her the same. "He is," she said. "I am going to fight for him, for you, for this circus. And it will start by climbing that ladder and dancing on that rope, for the pixies."

Kioyo nodded slowly and extended his hand to her. "We dance then, for the pixies."

Leanna slid her hand into his hold. Between them, a blessing descended as one of the surviving pixies floated down and rested above their joined hands.

Countless tours across the rope later left Leanna feeling more prepared than ever. Whereas before she had danced for herself led by her spirit, this dance was about more than just her. Each plié dipped her into the core of her soul where she asked for the pixie's forgiveness. Each arabesque sent her reaching higher for the heavens, to those that had passed. She closed her eyes and found no fear.

Reaching the other platform the memory of the crab—of its eyes, waited for her. She stopped and stared at the very place it stood. Lowering from her position, she took one firm step, and another, leading her to that very spot. Standing still and surrounded by the smeared shimmering hues of pixie blood, Leanna faced the other platform and gave Kioyo a firm nod. Come opening night, she would be ready. She had to be. For the pixies.

A foreboding sky blanketed with thick gray clouds met Leanna as she walked out from the Big Top. "Fitting for it to be such a dreary day," she murmured, turning her attention from the roiling clouds to the surrounding fog. "It feels like I'm stuck in a storm cloud." She trailed her gaze along the whiteness in the distance beyond the crystals. "Does the fog ever go away?"

"It will, after the bonfire tonight," Kioyo replied as he slid on his coat and fell into step beside her. "Once fire dispels the fog, we'll appear to the world as if out of thin air. It's quite magical."

Leanna hummed. "But what of the crystals? They may be magical, but they hardly look frightening enough to keep anyone away. Finvarra's reputation may keep a few at bay, but surely not many."

Kioyo chuckled, offering her his arm. "To us they may look like crystals. The outside world, however, will see wrought iron gates—quite formidable gates I might add." Kioyo paused. His eyes fixing straight ahead, he swallowed. Leanna followed his gaze to where roustabouts and performers alike banded together, piling logs into a pyre. Her arm stiffened around Kioyo's.

"It's for the ceremony tonight," he said carefully, almost apologetic. He patted Leanna's hand. "At the bonfire, we will say our final goodbyes and light the pixies' passage to the Otherworld."

"Oh," was all Leanna could muster, her throat thick and dry.

She was all too glad to let Kioyo lead them away, but catching sight of Finvarra in the distance, her steps failed her. Coatless and sleeves rolled up, Finvarra appeared from behind the pyre, helping Bertrand fill the hollow space with kindling. Stepping back, he dusted his hands, surveying the pyre. His skin was impossibly pale. He looked exhausted.

Unable to take her eyes away, Leanna stared at him—watched how, with his hands at his hips, his long fingers tapped a quiet tune as if keeping time of his thoughts. How his shoulders rose and fell with each slow breath, as if not wanting to disturb the air with his exhale. How even as unkempt as he looked there in muddy breaches working alongside subordinates, he looked more regal than ever.

Leanna sucked in a quiet gasp feeling a wintry nip gather at her chest. Looking down, the crystal hummed against her skin with coolness. Faint light glowed blue within her cloak. Lifting her eyes, she looked to Finvarra in the distance.

Awareness rolled over Finvarra, who grew increasingly stiff. He lifted his head slowly as if hearing a distant call. Turning, he met her eyes. He said nothing, his eyes simply taking her in. Despite the heat that bloomed at her cheeks, Leanna held his stare across the vast field and unwound her arm from Kioyo's. She'd missed him, and seeing him there magnified the horrible ache in her chest.

Oh, after the previous night, she shouldn't have neared him. Resisting him was a lost cause. She took a step, as did he; the intensity of their stare could have very well set the pile on fire.

The coolness of the crystal pulsed against Leanna's skin. Finvarra's brows knit and his approach stopped. Leanna mirrored him and paused. Slowly his hand came up above his chest where he rubbed it in a small circle. Not of intense pain, no, but of a lingering reminder. His eyes lowered, and his hand dropped to his side. A cool breeze moaned across the field, and Finvarra turned back toward the pyre as if robbed away by the winds.

"Come," Kioyo said, coming up beside her. "Let's get you to your tent. It looks like it's going to rain."

Leanna forced her eyes from a retreating Finvarra and looked to the roiling clouds of the various shades of gray and black. Indeed it was going to rain, but gazing back to see Finvarra gone, Leanna frowned. Kioyo pulled her away as the first raindrops fell. She lifted her hood against it, wishing it were snow.

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and the small glimpse into Kioyo's past :)

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