- e i g h t e e n -
dissolve

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"My dear boy, let us have no more pretense about that. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first disarmed me, you would not have stopped for this pleasant chat about ways and means."

"I haven't got any options!" said Malfoy, and he was suddenly white as Dumbledore. "I've got to do it! He'll kill me! He'll kill my whole family!"

"I appreciate the difficulty of your position," said Dumbledore. "Why else do you think I have not confronted you before now? Because I knew that you would have been murdered if Lord Voldemort realized that I suspected you."

Malfoy winced at the sound of the name.

"I did not dare speak to you of the mission with which I knew you had been entrusted, in case he used Legilimency against you," continued Dumbledore. "But now at last we can speak plainly to each other. . . . No harm has been done, you have hurt nobody, though you are very lucky that your unintentional victims survived. . . . I can help you, Draco."

"No, you can't," said Malfoy, his wand hand shaking very badly indeed. "Nobody can. He told me to do it or he'll kill me. I've got no choice."

"Come over to the right side, Draco, and we can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine. What is more, I can send members of the Order to your mother tonight to hide her likewise. Your father is safe at the moment in Azkaban. . . . When the time comes, we can protect him too. Come over to the right side, Draco . . . you are not a killer. . . ."

Malfoy stared at Dumbledore.

"But I got this far, didn't I?" he said slowly. "They thought I'd die in the attempt, but I'm here . . . and you're in my power. . . . I'm the one with the wand. . . . You're at my mercy. . . ."

"No, Draco," said Dumbledore quietly. "It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now."

Draco woke up in cold sweat, panting heavily as he slowly took in his surroundings. His hand immediately grabbed the wand lying under his pillow, softy rubbing it as if comforting himself that he's safe, long away from experiencing things like that ever again, things like making name in history as the wizard who took part in the killing of one of the greatest wizards of all time- Dumbledore.

Draco wondered if things would have changed then if he has just accepted Dumbledore's offer but he was too stupid back then, too much of a coward and the earlier fight with Potter is giving himself memories of the past, horrible ones that he's been trying to stash away. He wanted to forget the past but it's going to live with him no matter what.

If Draco had the opportunity to go back in time, he would accept the offer straight away. Probably even at the beginning of the year, approached the old wizard himself and cried for help. Draco stood up, grabbing his coat and looked out the window. It was still dark and Draco needed some fresh air. He couldn't sleep after that.

Walking out slowly, the house was quiet, Luna Lovegood was in the living room, sprawled across the couch and Hermione was lying on the floor beside her, books around her and a blanket covering herself.

Draco sighed before opening the door to come to a sight that slightly made him flinch. Potter was standing there, leaning against the wooden pillar, gazing out at the dark night. Draco thought of closing the door behind himself and walking away but Potter's voice stopped him.

"Couldn't sleep?" Harry Potter spoke and Draco gulped, trying to gather his thoughts as he slowly closed the door behind him.

"I guess you couldn't as well," Draco noted, walking forward, keeping distance from Potter and stood in the middle of the porch, two arms away from grabbing Potter's neck. "Was our fight keeping you up Potter? Too worried about my feelings?" Draco attempted to provoke him again, unable to stop himself and he was sure Hermione would have given him a glare if she was here.

"Actually," Potter looked behind him, craning his neck to meet his grey eyes, "Yes,"

Draco went silent, shifting on his feet, arching an eyebrow but unable to think of a counter for that.

"I know you hate me," Harry Potter breathed out, hand rubbing his forehead and Draco watched him curiously, letting him speak. "I know you dislike the thought of me but even if you did, you never avoided me all through the years, you bothered me in whatever silly way you could..." Harry paused, turning his head away to look back at the dark scenery. "It just makes me think you wanted my attention."

Draco gritted his teeth, not in anger but annoyance because the boy standing before him was partly right and he just couldn't tolerate that. "I meant it," He spat out, "I meant my offer at friendship in first year you know?" Draco was already dreading this conversation but he was curious at the same time, interested to change things, maybe even settle the tension between him and The Boy Who Lived just a little bit if he can.

"I couldn't accept it," Harry Potter immediately spoke up, "But, we have both been through shit," He added, immediately turning to face Draco Malfoy as the platinum head watched him.

"Don't throw a pity party, Potter," Draco took a step back, wanting to leave.

"Stop, don't leave," Harry said, "Just listen to me," His voice had a begging undertone.

Draco let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes for a brief moment and thought of his mother, his mother's words to him, he thought of all the moments he had spent here and he levelled his mind as a certain brilliant witch appeared in his mind, giving him strength to speak up, to not conceal, to open up, to not be silent, to reveal, not to hide because this is his chance at redemption.

"Speak," Draco whispered, turning to face Harry Potter who was waiting patiently.

"I can't understand what you have been through," Harry said, blue eyes piercing. "But, your life was shit and I'm sorry there weren't enough people to help you, I'm sorry nobody noticed but someone once told me: If you need help, you have to ask for it and I think, almost everyone in this house is willing to help you, even me," Harry ended his sentence with a sigh, "I'm sorry you had to go through all that but even if you hate me with all your guts- I'm willing to help you because I know how it is to feel all alone in this unfair world,"

A moment of silence passed and Draco stiffened, mind spinning as those words ran through his mind.

"I don't hate you, Potter," Draco spoke, "I envied you," Draco let it out finally, something he would never dare say ever but things have changed, "I-I was just stupid,"

"Are you still jealous?"

"Yeah, hell no," Draco Malfoy scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Don't you hate me? After I tortured you for years-"

"After everything I have faced, all your bullying is nothing compared to it," Harry smiled, "I can't even call it bullying- more like attempts at teasing?"

"Yeah, yeah," Draco rolled his eyes, tiny bit hurt that all his attempts to bully Potter were reduced to that, "I get it," He crossed his arms across his chest, sighing for the nth time of the night and he watched as Harry turned back around, walking to the front of the porch, kicking a pebble.

"So we both had shitty lives," Draco spoke up, "We can't compare them; shitty in different ways, so what now?"

Harry turned around to give him a smile, something that was so new and different to Draco that he slightly winced but welcomed it nonetheless, "We try not to live shitty now, we make the better choices," He shrugged.

"So, are you not giving up then?" Draco questioned.

"Not giving up," Harry sighed, kicking another pebble as it bounced into the distance. "I won't, not until he's dead and the war ends,"

"Good," Draco Malfoy smiled. "You can count on me to not let you give up, I will remind you of all horrible things, have absolutely no hard feelings," Draco shrugged, "I won't stop teasing you. Please don't ever think that," Draco rubbed his hands. "Habit. Can't die easily,"

"You seem to have stopped teasing Hermione though,"

Draco's eyes widened, hand scratching the back of his neck and he heard a chuckle from Harry Potter. "Slytherin pride gone I see,"

"Shut up, Potter," Draco muttered. "It's nothing,"

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