— s e v e n t e e n —
doubt

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

                    When Rolf Scamander had woken up, he was shouting jinxes and hexes, screaming them at the top of his lungs even with no wand, Hermione had to silent him and calm him with multiple spells until he realised the situation and place he was in. Luna and Hermione took their time filling him in with details of how he has escaped and is now safe and well taken care of— however, the sight of Pansy had immediately brightened him up, hugging her upon seeing her Hermione was baffled as to how a Slytherin like Parkinson could be close with a clueless looking Hufflepuff like Scamander.

Draco had, in whatever way, avoided the room that held Rolf Scamander in bed. Hermione thought it was peculiar, knowing that he had been close with Rolf, she never questioned his behaviour, seeing the job of making Scamander recover from his injuries bigger. Harry Potter had made his visit to the bed-ridden Hufflepuff as well, wishing him well with just a short conversation.

Hermione spotted Pansy and Draco speaking in hushed whispers at the end of the corridor but she nevertheless knew it was nothing detrimental to their lives. Most of the day had went by this way, everyone fascinated with the woken up newcomer.

"Rolf Scamander seems to be recovering fast." Luna Lovegood spoke in a hushed tone as she was picking up the bowtruckle in her palm. "Do you think I should show him the bowtruckle? I heard his grandfather was a magizoologist afterall. Might cheer him up," Luna perked up, eyes wide for an answer from Hermione who slowly nodded, her thoughts filled with what Pansy Parkinson and Draco were speaking in muted tones all day.

"He adores those animals too," A voice spoke up, entering the scene as Hermione straightened herself up. "Likes all those weird things. You should show him, Lovegood," Draco tapped his fingers on the table, taking a seat on the high stool placed beside the kitchen island. Hermione stiffened.

"You should come too, Draco Malfoy," Luna said, watching the bowtruckle hang from her arm. "You haven't seen him all day,"

Draco remained silent and this time Hermione was curious to what he would answer to that, she wanted to look at his face but avoided the temptation. After a second, Draco answered, "Later," with a note of finality and Luna disappeared out of the kitchen, leaving the place all to Hermione and Draco.

"Mind letting me know why you are avoiding him after telling me that you both are close?" Hermione immediately asked, facing him as she slanted against the island. Draco only smiled, as if he was readily expecting that question from her, still looking at the window and not at her as he spoke, "It's complicated,"

Hermione scoffed, but nodded, "Scared to meet him?" She prodded again and Draco turned to look at her, his grey eyes narrowing, "I'm not scared. More like— delaying the scene that will happen once he sees me," Draco paused, "That's all I'm going to say," He pointedly arched an eyebrow just as Hermione opened her mouth to ask another question. She sighed, deciding to let it go but the answer lingered around the back of her mind.

"Am I interrupting?" Pansy Parkinson entered the kitchen and Hermione tried her best not to seem affected by her presence but the air was still weird. "On second thoughts, I don't mind if I'm interrupting," She shrugged, taking a seat across both of them.

"You are not interrupting," Draco said, "You are annoying," He added, "But, you already know that," He smiled teasingly to which Parkinson cursed under her breath.

"Whatever," Pansy dismissed the platinum blonde boy before her lips pressed into a thin line, "It's getting late. We should tell what we discussed," Pansy Parkinson hissed at Draco who narrowed his eyes, suddenly turning serious before nodding. Hermione watched the exchange quietly and waited to see Draco turning to look at her.

"Call Potter," Draco said, "We have something important to discuss,"

"I'm here," Harry entered the kitchen, standing at the edge of the island.

"Were you eavesdropping Potter?" Draco couldn't help but ask to which Hermione turned to give him a small glare. "What?" He shrugged, but chose to let it go.

"What do you want to discuss?" Hermione spoke and she saw Pansy perk up, looking at Draco for guidance and he rolled his eyes.

"Parkinson will return to Malfoy Manor," Draco stated and his next sentence was cut off by Pansy as she said, "I think I will do more good by staying there. I will gather information and come back here whenever I hear something important," Pansy added.

"So you will be our spy?" Hermione asked, already intrigued with this brilliant idea.

"Yes," Parkinson responded.

"Won't they suspect you?" Harry asked. "What if they decided to use Legilimens on you. All of us will be at risk then," He cleverly pointed out to which Hermione responded.

"There's a Fidelius charm placed on this place and I'm the Secret-Keeper, so unless I tell anyone about this place, no one will be able to find it and no one else that knows this place will be able to say it either," Hermione explained before note fully adding, "I've also placed a tongue-tying charm so once you enter here, you cannot reveal the place's location if asked," Hermione concluded.

Pansy looked at Hermione with a tiny bit of shock mixed with admiration and Hermione herself was pretty smug with herself for thinking of every possible scenario.

"In the case of using Legilimens, there's a charm," Pansy looked at Draco who now took over the conversation. "It's my charm. When You-Know-Who was in my house, I decided that I should be skilled at Legilimens," He paused, noting Harry shift on his feet, "I created a charm— it will block your mind from anyone or it can show anyone a fake memory instead if Legilimens is used on you. No one will suspect her," Draco gave a smug smile at the end, taking in the astounded glint shining in Hermione Granger's eyes.

"How can we trust you?" Harry spoke up, looking at Pansy Parkinson. "What if you decide to switch sides suddenly?"

"I wouldn't," Pansy firmly said. "I will not switch sides Potter," She gritted her teeth in annoyance, "Yes, I'm a Slytherin, I can be evil, annoying but I do not like the world like this right now," She breathed out, "As much as I hate to admit it, I want you to win, I want happiness again, I don't want to see my friends dying again and again, I want to walk out on the streets freely and not scared of being dead at any moment, I want the Dark Lord defeated and dead," Pansy gave out a great, relieved sigh.

"Should have realised that sooner don't you think?" Harry Potter spoke and Hermione immediately felt the tension in the air spike up. "What in the world made you think choosing his side and becoming a death-eater was the best choice for happiness and freedom?"

"Some of us didn't have a fucking choice Potter," It was Draco who retorted, slight annoyance lacing his tone. "Some of us didn't have any back-up or support. For some of us, it was about living or dying," He spoke with venom, and stood up from his seat. Hermione's eyes widened as he saw Harry straighten himself up.

"Everyone has a choice, you just chose all the bad ones," Potter spat out.

"Like the bad choice you made when refusing my hand at friendship in first year," Draco said eerily calm, "what great friends we would have been, Potter," Draco spoke sarcastically, a snicker coming out and he looked very much like the Slytherin he is, "You might have even succeeded killing Voldemort with me by your side," Draco teased further.

"With you by my side? I would have only lost—"

"Who do you think sent Dobby to you?" Draco shut Harry up whose eyes slowly widened with realisation. "Who do you think slipped a page about the basilisk to Hermione Granger to make sure she finds it?" Draco edged on and Hermione gasped at the realisation that dawned upon her.

"You lived a fucking hard life or whatever Potter," Draco stabbed his finger into Harry's chest who seemed frozen and at a loss for words. "But, don't you dare for a second think I got everything easy, I was alone in everything I did, you had your bunch of friends and professors ready to serve you, you had no parents so you wouldn't know how it would feel to be threatened everyday by the most dangerous wizard known to our kind— threatening to kill off the one thing that loved me truly, my mother," Draco's words seemed to tumble out and it didn't seem like he could be stopped. Hermione watched, eyes in tears and feeling pain grip her heart.

"You wouldn't know the feeling of having a murderer live in your house, having no choice but to follow his orders, feeling bile come up your throat and swallow it down because they will kill you in a second if they see you weak," Draco spat, towering over a speechless Harry Potter whose eyes never left his. "Some of us had no choice but to be evil," His voice broke at the end and immediately after, he stormed out, the loud sound of a door shutting close brought silence to the entire household.

Harry walked out after and Hermione watched him leave, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. It was a tense few minutes until Pansy spoke, almost a whisper, "Draco is the reason I'm here," She looked at Hermione, "Seeing him gave me the strength I needed to fight this," She looked down at her wand, "We were all cowards, talking smart but abandoned Draco yet fascinated by him when we knew he got the dark mark— never realising how much he was suffering inside," She fiddled with her wand before slowly walking towards the entrance.

"Tell them I have left," Parkinson told, "Make sure only I can apparate back here. I can't be anymore late than this or they will suspect," Hermione watched her silently as she turned into black smoke, disappearing out of the silent kitchen, leaving the room as though she was never here.