【playing..】

Red Velvet (레드벨벳) - Rookie
Body Talk

❚❚ ►_____________________________ 3:39

Jeongguk stood infront of the full length mirror in his bedroom, adjusting the last little strand of hair poking up into the wrong direction.

Outfit comfortable and in dark shades as always but all newly bought, never worn before. They had been laying around in his dresser for a while since he wanted to use his older ones, that's what he was taught to do as a kid.

Use stuff until it breaks, has rips and isn't functional anymore -- otherwise he didn't get anything new at all. It was just really how he was raised.
He wasn't necessarily treated badly majority of his childhood -- well, until he was involuntarily outed.

Before he could begin to go back to that dark time, that made his mind wander and banter to the darkest places it's ever been, he snapped himself out of it, breathing in and out before looking at himself again.

Instead of wearing his old clothes today he wanted to look new, better -- bitchin if you want to say so.

He talked a lot with Yoongi yesterday about how he should approach Taehyung and when he should use the opportunity.

They talked about confidence and how just appearance can change someone's self-esteem which is why he chose put some effort in today instead of just rolling out of bed and going to work, he wanted to actually style his hair and wear new clothes today to reflect that exact confidence and self esteem he needs.

Yoongi really made him feel good and worth it yesterday. He knows how to choose his words and encourage someone, make the most of it.

He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply before huffing out, nodding his head as a reassurance to himself -- he was going to talk to Taehyung no matter how much it'll hurt him.
It's necessary to try and just -- move on with life.

Opening his eyes again, he moved to the kitchen, making sure that Coconut has enough food and water in her bowls before getting his keys, phone and leaving his apartment.

After locking the door behind him he slipped into his new shoes, sticking his finger in the back to slide in more easily and kneeling down to tie them.

He had to say they were slightly uncomfortable since they were completely new, bright white, not a single speck on it but if it had him dripping with confidence for today it's worth it having bruises at the end of the day.

Before he could even finish up making a nice bow with both of his shoelaces, he almost fell back on his butt, startled as the door infront of him creaked open revealing Yoongi, obvious bed hair sticking in all directions, baggy comfortable clothes hanging on his body.

"Morning." Jeongguk smiled at Yoongi's sleepy eyes and cracked morning voice, arms crossing infront of his upper body. "I heard you leaving for work."

"Stalker." Gguk got up with a chuckle, smile still plastered on his face, indicating the joke as his hands wandered into his pockets, taking a step to the stairs.

"Wow i thought it would be encouraging to send you off. Sorry for caring." He watched the older roll his sleepish eyes sarcastically as Gguk was about to put his foot on the first of many stairs, mouth opening to bid a goodbye and thank you but getting interrupted before even starting.

"Wanna grab pizza after you are done with work? You might need to get your mind somewhere else because -- you know your conversation. I can pick you up if you want." Yoongi almost stumbled over his words, speaking quickly but looking directly into Gguk's eyes and he swore there was a slight blush on the older's cheeks but maybe he was just seeing things -- he has to be. As always.

"Like a date?" Jeongguk chuckled, feeling comfortable enough with Yoongi at this point to joke around. They really had gotten closer with their talk yesterday.

"I mean if you want it to be." He saw the older's eyes avert downwards, mouth curling into a smile and slight laugh escaping, leaning against the door frame.

Gguk's eyes widened, head slightly tilting back and mouth open but not a word coming out at the sudden seriousness of his tone.

Yoongi chuckled in a low tone, eyes turning into little cresents as his head rose upwards again. "Anyways, Hope Dance Studio, right? Text me when you are almost done."

Gguk shook his head, trying to get the initial shock off of him from Yoongi's -- flirting if you can call it that? Serious flirting, not with a joking tone. Gguk swore he can tell that much.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll text you." He shook it off again, racing down the stairs, somehow feeling like he needed to get out, confusion rushing through his head. It sure was suppose to be a joke, he was just kidding around.

Jeongguk went outside quickly, making his way to work quick like usual, feeling slight raindrops drizzle from the sky and hitting features, just making it briefly before it started pouring which would have instantly ruined away his new clothes and confidence with it.

He pushed open the glass door, greeting everyone with a too fake to be true smile like he always would, walking to the room where his first class would be.

Deep inside, his gut was twisting, not knowing if Taehyung's shift was before or after him today, knowing he had to face him but instead of as soon as possible he would like it the other way around -- rather as late as he can push it today.

Walking around the corner to the rooms, he felt a shiver running down his spine, eyes closing worried to run into him right now, he didn't feel as prepared as he hoped he would.

No matter how much someone would tell him that he's worth it, he's confident, there would always be that doubt in his mind that he's not.

He breathed in and out slowly, really letting the air soak in, heart calming and feeling less sick as he opened his eyes to reveal -- an empty studio.

A sigh of relief escaped his lips and a boost of both energy and confidence rushed through his body. Now he actually had some time to lay out his words in his mind, what exactly he wanted to say in what order and tone. He could do this today. He has to, no way around it.

He made his way inside the room, already turning on the music and waiting for his first class to arrive, using the time to let words spin themselves to clear sentences in his head.

Both classes went by rather quickly but exhaustingly as always.
Teaching advanced was so different from beginners -- people have much more defined movements, learn much quicker, don't need as much one on one help. It was actually a refreshing and much needed break from always having beginners only.

It also gave him some time to think about his words more, while everyone was rehearsing for themselves.

It was always hard for him to phrase how he truly feels. He was told as a kid to just not do so as man don't talk about their feelings, they mask them and if they don't -- they are too sensitive or a woman at heart.
It all things his parents taught him and it would be engraved into his system forever, no matter how hard he tried to erase his past from the endless book of his memories.

Gguk stood up from the ground, looking at the large digital clock above the glass door, knowing that Yoongi will pick him up soon but somehow needing to find Taehyung before -- he has to.

But before he could try to search him, he saw the door creak open right at the bottom of his line of sight, heart speeding up and gut twisting as his glaze traveled down, whole body frozen solid in its position.

He saw Taehyung, intense shadows under his eyes, black hair messy and hanging in his face, wearing a normal black t shirt and grey sweats somehow mirroring Gguk's own outfit.

Jeongguk's eyes traveled across the room, not wanting to but almost automatically meeting Taehyung's deep brown colored ones, telling more than his words ever did -- hurt and tiredness painted into them.

Gguk wasn't sure if he was seeing things again, if his brain was telling him to see feelings that weren't real and would never be exsistent.

But he could swear he saw a watery shimmer shine in the older's eyes before they dissapeared out of his line of sight as Taehyung started to turn around, ready to leave the room and this awkward encounter.

He started to panic as this was his only chance, remembering what Yoongi told him yesterday. He has to talk to him now -- to move on and resolve eventual miscommunications.

Gguk took a deep breath before opening his mouth almost no words escaping, stomach twisting as the older one was stepping out of the room. "Taehyung-" he closed his eyes automatically, scared to face his reaction. "wait."

"What?" He heard his deep strained voice, hurting his heart like a spear poking through it -- deep down, he missed his voice.

Jeongguk bit the inside of his cheek, forcing his eyes open to face the older one again, sure that he saw a glimmering tear run down his cheek but choosing to ignore it for now.

"Can- can we talk?" He swallowed heavily, voice almost cracking, looking everywhere on Taehyung's face but directly in his eyes.

Taehyung sighed heavily, arms crossing over his chest, floor creaking slightly as he made his steps towards the younger one. "Yeah."

Gguk stood up, wanting to be on the same level as they talk. Just like he wants their conversation to be -- even, honest and clear.

"I think, we had some-" Gguk started, interrupting himself with an awkward cough, somehow feeling like he was going to throw up. "miscommunications about our, uhm, -- feelings, if you might call it that and i-i want us to be honest."

"Here?" He saw Taehyung's head tilt to the side slightly, arms still crossed infront of him, eyes glittery.

"U-uh where else?" Gguk threw back confused, bite now wandering from cheek to inner lip, not really knowing where he was going with that. He wanted to be over with it now.
Yes, maybe it wasn't the best spot to talk but he can't do this longer, he just wants to move on.

"Somewhere when i don't have a class in five minutes? Can you wait till i'm done?" Taehyung's tone sounding serious like he also wanted this honest conversation more than anything.

"i-i'm busy-" Gguk swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing they had to talk on another occasion, wanting to say yes but knowing he already had plans with Yoongi and he had no intention to ditch him.

Taehyung's eyes radiated confusion as they wandered down to the floor. "I thought you wanted to talk." Tone kept serious consistently, he also seemed to care a lot about resolving their issues.

"I do but- now is kind of-" He was about to explain but was interrupted by the squeak of the glass door, seeing Taehyung's head lift and turn to look behind him, Gguk's head shifting to have the door in his line of sight, seeing Yoongi standing in the doorway.

A moment of unspoken awkwardness fell over the three of them, Jeongguk noticing the mint haired's slightly more upscale clothes.
Not as comfortable as he saw him this morning or even the evening before.
Black cargo pants, two chains hanging from either side of them, black tshirt with belt like straps over it.

"Everything good, Jeongguk?" Yoongi broke the moment of slience, looking slightly worried.

"Y-yeah, can you wait one more second?" Gguk murmured quietly yet loud enough, looking into Yoongi's slightly worried eyes, nodding to reassure him with a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Yoongi returned the nod, also a smile forming on his lips as he turned to leave the the room, walking off to the right to give the two privacy and not stand directly infront of the glass door.

As the door fell close, Jeongguk saw Taehyung spin back to him, something else added to the emotions swirling in his eyes, that still wouldn't directly look at him.

"So can we- maybe talk tomorrow?" Gguk started again, knowing talking now wouldn't work. Eventhough he knew himself how he just wanted this to be over with it right now.

"I guess. I think i'm busy too anyways." Arms stayed crossed infront of the older one, somehow attitude turning into a different direction, Gguk not exactly knowing why the older's tone was suddenly so -- offended?

"Have fun on your date." Taehyung threw out, emphasising the last word before walking right past Jeongguk, brushing against his shoulder.

"It's not-" Gguk turned around, sighing, wanting to clear up this weird tension flying around in the air but knowing that Yoongi was waiting for him outside, knowing Taehyung and his stubbornness won't believe him anyway.

"Anyways, i'll text you." Jeongguk spun back and stepped towards the door, blurting out this last sentence hurriedly, closing their very unclearing conversation for the moment.

His stomach somehow twisted more than before, knowing that it would be another day of his thoughts cluttered with what he was going to say, how he was going tell Taehyung his feelings and how he was going to deal with -- being denied again.

°***°

hi :) was this good enough haha? thoughts? wishes?

Well, I apologise again for the late update this week really wasnt .. it.
But somehow i kept my inspiration and didnt spiral into a complete sadness thanks to my friends, yall know who you are lysm <3 also thanks to anyone who wrote me some encouragements ly too

anyways i hope yall caught my stranger things reference ^^ if yall watched season 3 (or just the first 2 idc jdjdjd) feel free to leave some thoughts here or in my twt dms (@/fairyyujin ;))

also talking about stranger things;; onelasttae and me (as a supporting writer) are working on a stranger bangtan au on twt!! i'll put a link on my msg board asap!! pls check it out we'll work very hard!! <3
(out twts @/onelastkoo and @/fairyyujin)

Now enjoy soft hoseok ♡

<3 have a nice day everyone