Chapter 8 | Coward
Dedicated to: Sara_G_Cookie_Queen, oreocrazed, Urghboys17, and lemon_pops for all the epic comments, for all the support and for just being awesome!
Special thanks to:
KelsaDixon who helped me past a scene that took me 2 months to write.
And if you haven't read it yet go read her book 'Loosing Ruby' which is amazing and Brody is such a mood!
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Chapter Eight| Coward
Ian Braverman was seated alone in his office, having arrived earlier than his close friend and business associate Law Farrow in order to read Olivia's diary. He hadn't wanted to read what he knew would be a harrowing entry to read in front of, or near his family, Hadn't wanted them to see his grief. He knew he would have to discuss what he was to read, with his brothers later however he would feel more prepared this way.
So Ian Braverman opened the leather bound book, and read.
Only to weep, as it was Olivia's letter to her diseased mother that lay scrawled in ink on those pages, as she barred her heart to someone who may never know, to a mother who would never be able to sooth the worries that plagued her youngest child. A symphony of words from a child to her mother, in the only way she knew how to communicate.
Ian Braverman had not realized how heavy the loss had weighed on the girl, had added to that weight with his words and with his actions. He still would never understand how Olivia Braverman had felt, knew he could not compare her loss with his own, for it was not only a mother she lost but a role model.
Ian Braverman could not keep his sobs from echoing in the too large office, his cries would be heard by none as hers had for so long. For there were water marks blurring the ink on the pages, droplets of tears from his younger sister who had been made to mourn all on her own as he now had to do as well.
The weight of loss heavy on Ian's heart, and the guilt heavy on his shoulders as he wept for a mother who had long since passed away and a sister who had long since moved on.
~*~
Jake Braverman could not help but to be excited as he waited in line for his and Cleo's tickets, The small girl standing beside him as she rambled on about the many rides that lay inside. Jake had never been interested in such things growing up, having detested crowded areas he had opted out of going when he could. The times Jake Braverman had been to the carnival had been with his family.
At the time Olivia had been too young to venture on the bigger rides with The Braverman boys, so often times Marcia Braverman would go with Little Livy to enjoy the child friendly rides the carnival had, had to offer. Jake Braverman had preferred to join his mother and sister on those occasions, as he had enjoyed spending the time with his mother.
"We can ask around about Olivia before we get something to eat and then after we should have time to try some of the rides?" Cleo offered having promised the man she would help him search for his youngest sibling. A promise she would not break as she knew how much it had meant to Jake.
Jake Braverman smiled at the girl, his heart warmed and eyes brightened at her gesture. She cared "We can ask around about Livy between rides, then get something to eat" Jake offered in turn, Jake Braverman wanted Cleo to enjoy their time spent together.
Jake knew the girl had been worried for him, had seen her on many occasions staring at him when they had been in the gym. It had been that same look that had perhaps compelled him to say yes to Cleo's request. Jake Braverman had wished to ease the worry the girl carried for him. If only for a day.
"That sounds like a plan!" Cleo beamed up at him. Jake found Cleopatra's excitement to be contagious as he offered her a smile of his own.
Jake Braverman was dragged all over the place as Cleopatra took him on ride after ride, The girl's beaming smiles and bright eyes making Jake relax and smile in turn. Ride after ride, Jake refused to let go of Cleo's hand, the warmth bringing him a sense of peace in his otherwise aching heart.
Cleo pulled Jake toward the food stalls, laughing at the now nauseous boy. Jake Braverman had been terrified when the rather tall ride went crashing to the ground and into an underground mine that had been converted into one of the many rollercoaster's in the carnival.
Jake scowled down at the girl before saying "I don't feel well" his hand flying to his mouth as his eyes closed. Jake knew that his brothers would have laughed at the sight, had they been with him. Could hear their mocking, as they teased him about it.
Cleo could only laugh louder as she led Jake to a bench. Jake Sat at the bench as Cleo left to get food and water, having left Jake to recover. Jake slid his phone from within his pocket, unlocking the device only to stare at the picture of Olivia.
Jake Braverman marveled at just how much the girl resembled his late mother, her platinum blonde hair a trait only she and their mother shared. Jake could not keep the frown from his face, as he thought of what could have been. It frustrated Jake how little they knew of the girl who had grown up only a few bedrooms away. His frustration never ending as he thought of where she could be. He knew he and his brothers were procrastinating, putting off reading Olivia's diary. Fear of that uncertainty in her past was all to consuming as guilt haunted their minds for the lack of care they showed during a time where Olivia needed care the most.
The girl he read about in those entries had been fragile, and yet he could not deny the girl's defiance. She was defiant in her own situation, despite the debilitating state she seemed to have been in, she had found a way to smile. As it was a genuine smile Jake saw in the picture, the way the light had illuminated the blue of her eyes and the way her smile stretched across her face as she could not help but to grin at the camera.
Perhaps the fear of whatever tragedy that had befallen the girl was worth reading through if they could read her moving past it. Perhaps it would not seem so crushing if they knew she would make it past it. However it was not that simple, Jake knew that there were things you simply would never recover from.
Jake sighed. He and Cleo had asked venders, and Carnival goers alike if perhaps they had seen Olivia recently, only to be told 'no' like a mantra. The town was not big, however being so close to the city Jake wondered if perhaps Olivia had run off their. A thought that terrified him as the city was big enough to be a maze. Olivia would be a needle in a city of haystacks.
Olivia's Saving account had still gone untouched the past week. However Jake hadn't given up, he had realized that the card could be used to track Olivia in other ways, by getting a bank statement of transactions over the last four years Jake thought he could visit places she purchased from often.
Jake however would have to wait for the statements. He had been informed that he was lucky, having informed the bank manager of their situation he was told that the only reason the bank was permitted to give the statements to Jake was due to the fact Jonathan had, had to open the account as a guardian.
If it had been an account opened by Olivia with no guardian signature, they would not have been able to give out the information. A fact Jake Braverman had been all too aware of. It was also for that reason Jake would have to go into the bank tomorrow with a copy of his father's ID, his own as well as a letter from his father that stated Jake had permission to receive the Bank statements.
It had been the only thing Jake could think to do. He and his brothers had exhausted revenue after revenue to no avail. With this, Jake could only hope to find answers.
"Is that your sister?" Cleo asked Jake who had seemed to be in a daze once more upon her return.
Jake Braverman smiled before replying with a short yes, his smile bringing forth one on Cleo's own face as she took a seat next to him and leaned her head upon his shoulder. "You've told us stories about her, but what was she like?" Cleo wondered aloud.
However she was made to question if it had been a wise question when Jake hesitated in his reply, a look of longing passing through his eyes "She was like my mother but louder" He chuckled, as if he were remembering a fond memory.
"She seemed to have the stars in her eyes, I know that's cheesy but..." He trailed off to look toward her as his eyes bored into hers "She was such a lively person, just like my mother, I always remember Olivia with a smile on her face, she had this nervous habit of smiling when she was hiding something, when she cried the fastest way to get her to stop would be to just sit there and wait for her tears to turn to laughter"
Cleopatra smiled as she listened to Jake, she could hear the love in his voice and see the fondness in his eyes, a look Jake only got when he spoke of his mother.
"Where you both close?" Cleo asked, however Jake could only shake his head no in response, something that surprised Cleo as she had always believed the two had been close by the stories she had heard.
Cleo felt a pang of hurt in her heart by the saddened look that over took the buys face, a frown forming on her own face as she watched his head turn down to once again gaze upon the photograph. Cleo leaned her own head upon Jake's shoulder as she too took in the photo, a girl who looked to be in her late teens smiled at the camera.
"She sounds nice" Cleo offered Jake, if only to distract him from his thoughts.
"Overly so" Jake muttered in response, a bitter smile on his face that had Cleo wondering as too what he meant.
"How so?" She asked for him to elaborate.
"Olivia had a bad habit of forgiving to quickly, even if she had been hurt by the situation she was always forgiving unless it came to us" Jake shook his head disapprovingly "And yet to anyone who hurt us she was so unforgiving, It always frustrated me and my brothers, even dad had been worried over it"
Cleo smiled, She heard enough of the girl to wonder if the child hadn't had been forgiving but rather uncaring. Cleo understood it was not a kindness to forgive a situation you want no part of, rather it had been a means to leave the topic alone. However Olivia had loved her family, it wasn't as simple as saying it's okay' when it was someone you loved who had been hurt, Cleo had been much the same way with Daniel. She could forgive what was said about her, but never forgave if it had been said about her older twin brother.
Just as Daniel could ignore the slander of others as long as they hadn't been about her.
Cleo said nothing of her thoughts, choosing to smile instead and say "I wonder about that" Leaving Jake to ponder over what was meant by those words. He knew Cleo hadn't said it to be malicious or mean, but he had to wonder if it had been said with the intention of making him look at the picture from a different perspective.
It was something Cleo did often when Jake couldn't quite grasp a situation, he could read people like open pages of a book but understanding reasoning was different to understanding the emotions written on another's face.
They sat in silence, as Cleo focused on the food she had purchased and Jake mulled over the meaning behind his best friends words, the silence more than comfortable.
The two spent the rest of the day going from booth to booth, playing carnival games and laughing together once more. Jake having taken the lead this time around, not being able to stomach another rollercoaster, they had still been holding hands by the time the two had reached Jake's car that afternoon.
Jake leaning down close to Cleopatra's ear to whisper "Thank you" leaving Cleopatra a stuttering, blushing mess on the ride home.
~*~
Jason Braverman was tired.
Jason had only just returned from Dr. Ann's office, having spent the morning with the middle aged woman he had returned home, a new bottle of prescription drugs in his hands. One of many bottles that would sit in his bathroom cupboard. Jason could not help but to hate it, hate the fact that he had ended up right where he had started.
Hated he could not shed himself of the fear, of the hurt or of the anguish he felt pulsing in his heart.
Jason closed his eyes and leaned back on the front door, his free hand covering his eyes as he sighed. He was so tired, tired of the nightmares that ruled over him, condemning him to the horror he saw every night. He had been so proud of himself, having rid himself of the terrors before, and yet he had been made to realize it had been nothing but an illusion he deceived himself with, as he had always been one trigger away from a spiraling down a rabbit hole into what felt like insanity.
Pushing himself off the door, Jason stumbled toward his bedroom discarding his belongings beside his bed before dropping down his eyes fluttering closed. Perhaps he would have fell asleep in that moment, had it not been for the sound of crunching paper from beneath him.
Jason sat up from his bed reluctantly, his hands had moved to pick the piece of now crumpled paper up as his eyes examined it. The off white, almost a crème colored piece of paper had an image of a griffon messily sketched in the center. It had been a work project, The griffon had been one out of three designs he had created for a game Jason had been commissioned to do sketches for.
Jason hadn't always loved art, had even considered studying toward being a lawyer when he had started high school. However Jason had fell in love with art after being introduced to manga and Anime. The Japanese styled character design's had been inspiration for the boy. Before long Jason had found himself drawing anime and game characters alike, and while not very good in the beginning Jason had started developing a skill and talent for it.
Jason Braverman had discovered what he had wanted to do, Create. At eighteen he had already started selling character design's to gaming companies using connections his father had made over the years. Jason was not as successful as his older brothers, his career path proving to be difficult among a sea of peers who were just as, if not more talented than he. However Jason had a dream he was working toward, even if it would take him a while to move toward it.
Jason after having taken a leap year, devoted himself to IT programming, and had graduated with a degree in the subject the year before, an impressive feet as he had done it in two years. He had dedicated all those sleepless nights to something worthwhile, and while the work load had been heavy Jason had found comfort in keeping himself busy.
It had not been the only reprieve Jason had found those nights the nightmares raged wars on his mind, as sketching had been a role in his healing. He had spent much of his free time sketching the images that haunted him the most, when he could not find the strength to overcome those fears he would draw himself slaying them. It had been a suggestion Dr. Ann had given, in order to allow Jason to see past what haunted him, to allow himself to believe there was a way of facing the horrors.
Jason Braverman found himself craving the feel of his charcoal pencils in his hand, thoughts of resting no longer pushing him to sleep. Instead Jason had found himself rummaging through his closet, digging for the box he knew would be buried between his clothes. Jason had been busy with work the last few months, so absorbed in the coding he had been doing for a company that he hadn't had a chance to sketch freely.
Jason had become a freelancer, had gained clients he did code for so he would have time to design characters for a gaming company he had been contracted to. Between both jobs, Jason would have enough money to sustain himself independently if he had wished to do so, and while his older brothers had been far more successful in their career paths Jason did not hate the choice he made.
Finding the cardboard box Jason was quick to pull it out and dump it upon his bed, digging through oil pastels, sketch books, coloring pencils and pencils. He pulled out his old sketch book, it had been his favorite if only because it had been gifted to him by his mother months before she had passed.
And as he sketched Jason could not help but to think of the boy he had met in the park, the scrawny boy who had tattooed sleeves going up his arms, and piercings all over his ears, until he had sketched the boys face.
Jason could not understand why, but the boy had left a strong impression on him, even if Jason found the boy to be more than suspicious.
~*~
Ian Braverman had known Law Farrow since the two had taken their Private Investigator license exam together the year before. The two had found much in common in the time they interacted, both having come from well of families, Farrow more so than Ian. Law had spoken little of his family in the time the two had known each other, however it had been a fact known by many that the Farrow family had owned their law firm for generations.
That too had been something both boys could relate to, having grown up with the pressure to succeed. Ian who had been studying to be a lawyer before his addiction, had thought that was the only path he could take at the time. Law had felt a similar burden as his, his family who consisted of Lawyers would accept nothing less from their youngest child, who had never had a talent for such things.
Law had no passion for studying a subject he wished to have no part of, having turned eighteen the rebellious teen who had long since been considered the black sheep of the family had run off to join the military. He had been deployed for four years before having retired. Ian could sympathize with Law who struggled to find his path after military life, before Law had settled with becoming a PI. Much to his families horror.
And while Ian Braverman knew very little of Law's personal and family life, he could not deny that Law was a loyal friend. One of Ian's few close friends. It had been for that reason that Ian had proposed going into business with one another, they both had, had their own connections within the business world which had been enough to gather a fairly wealthy clientele list, and with the money Law had inherited from his late grandfather as well as the money Ian himself had gotten from his father the two had been able to establish a fairly well off operation together and had purchased office space not to long after.
It was perhaps due to their friendship that Ian Braverman had not minded that Law had walked in on his crying, having been sitting in the small office alone Ian had been glad for the company as he wept, his cries muffled from his hands as they covered his mouth in an attempted to keep the sobs at bay.
"What happened?" Law asked Ian as he took a seat in front of the younger boys desk with a frown on his face.
Ian who had calmed down since then could only shake his head in response, not having the words to explain. Ian Braverman had felt utterly defeated in that moment, more so than before when he had thought he had no more clues as to the whereabouts of his youngest sibling.
Ian Braverman sighed as he rubbed the palm of both his hands into his eyes. Ian closed his eyes, sitting forward as he counted his breaths in an attempt to calm his raging emotions, a habit he caught in rehabilitation as it was a technique he learned to do if he ever had the urge to get high, an urge he had often in the beginning stages of Rehab. Ones he still had on occasion.
Law kept silent throughout the process, something Ian found himself to be grateful of as he had not been in a state of mind to answer questions rationally and even now he doubted whether he would be able to calm down enough to be coherent. However Ian Braverman had been pressed for time, he could not afford to be so emotional.
Taking one more breath Ian Braverman lifted his head to look toward Law who had been waiting for Ian to calm himself before repeating his question "What Happened?" Ian then explained all that had happened.
Law Farrow listened patiently as Ian Braverman told him of his sister who had recently gone missing. Ian explained the note that had been fund in her room, her diary and the lack of any real clue's to work with. Law didn't hesitate to offer his help in the matter, Law had never met the girl before however he could see the worry that seemed to weigh the boy in front of him down so clearly.
Ian Braverman watched as Law took out a small notebook, writing all that Ian had just told him before turning his head to face the Braverman. Law did not comfort the boy or give any sympathy as Law knew that was not what his partner had wanted, nor needed. Ian had asked Law for his help and Law would not hesitate to give it.
"What have you got so far?"He asked to which Ian explained the lack of any trail. To which Law grew grim in expression.
"Have you tried tracking her phone?" Law asked to which Ian frowned, Ian's posture having grown more serious as they conversed.
"We don't have her number, but I've asked Leo to contact service providers hopefully we will get something" Ian stated, however he was doubtful of it. Olivia's age made obtaining records more difficult as she was now considered a legal adult in the eyes of the law. However it was not impossible, which had made Ian hopeful.
"What do you need me to do? I can go digging into the Melvin person if you want" Law asked, having worked in the military for four years Law had no lack of connections and if needed he would have a file with Melvin's name in front of Ian by the weeks end.
However Ian shook his head as it was not Melvin Ian was most concerned with but the Wilson's, Ian had no knowledge of the events that transpired the night his mother had passed, however having read Olivia's entry not long ago Ian knew he wanted to give his sister justice for whatever injustice she had faced.
For whatever happened had been serious enough for Marcia Braverman to turn her car around in the pouring rain, thus causing the accident that took her life. Ian didn't know if his mother had simply turned the car around to confront the family, however Ian was all too aware of the fact that Mercy Hospital had been in the same direction. A thought that had Ian grinding his teeth as a pit of fear opened itself in his stomach and in his heart.
"I would like you to look into the Wilson's, specifically their son Derrick Wilson" Ian told law who looked confused.
"Didn't you say he committed suicide?" Law voiced his confusion, he did not understand the need to look into a dead man.
"He did, however that doesn't mean he wasn't involved in what happened four years ago, or if he knew something about it, I want you to look at any close friends he may have confided in or if they noticed any change in him four years ago the same with his sister, I would also like to know where his sister is, Emma" Ian explained.
"Wouldn't you find the answers in Olivia's diary?" Law asked hesitantly and watched as the boys eyes clouded over.
"I know I would, but I'm a coward, me and my brothers are, it's so much easier to pretend it never happened than to face the truth and so we would rather put off knowing instead of confronting a past that had haunted my little sister and while I would like to say its fear that makes me so hesitant to know but the truth is Me nor my brothers wish to face the guilt that follows knowing the truth" Ian barred his feelings to his friend. Ian felt disgusted, knowing his sister was out there and yet the one clue he had he refused to give proper attention to.
"Besides I don't think I have the heart to learn the truth from my sister's words, it's different than just being told something bad because I actually have to confront the emotional distress it caused her" Ian admitted. He truly was a coward.
Law had no words to comfort Ian, but he understood. He understood their hesitation, their fear and guilt and even their cowardice as it was not always easy to face uncertainty, or even to face the past with a brave face especially when it came to something so close to their own hearts as it had for the Braverman family.
Law stood up, patting the boy on the back before leaving. Having promised to find Ian those answers, the only thing Law felt he could do for the Braverman in that moment.
Left alone once more Ian could not help but to think back to Olivia's diary. His mother knew, Olivia having confided in her moments before their worlds fell apart, and Ian could not help but to wonder if things would have been different had they only stayed by the young girls side. Perhaps Livy would have confided in them too, if she had awoken with them by her side. Perhaps then she would have been able to face that reality with some comfort, with love and support to surround her.
~*~
Jake Braverman swayed back and forth on the porch swing, having taken a seat next to Cleo upon their return that afternoon. Cleopatra had been seated nestled in Jake's side as he hugged her toward him, Cleo only having moved once to bring the two a spare blanket as the sun set and night came. The two were oddly comfortable, as the swaying motion brought a peace of mind.
Jake Braverman could feel the stutter of his heart when ever Cleo moved, his face warm for reasons unknown to him. Jake didn't know what to make of his own feelings, having been around the girl for years it was surprising to Jake how different he felt around her. He felt as if he belonged, a feeling he was unused to.
While Jake and his siblings had gotten along, Jake wouldn't have said that the five of them were close. Ian and Jason had been inseparable, the younger of the two having followed Ian as if he were the boys shadow for most their childhood and Olivia and Matter had almost felt like twins, despite the three year age difference between the two.
Jake who had always been unsocial and often times misunderstood had been closest with his mother, whom Cleo reminded him greatly of.
Jake found the feeling to be warm in his heart, a smile making way to his face as his eyes fell upon the girl who had a smile of her own resting on her face, her eyes closed as she savored the warmth Jake gave her.
"Jake" Cleo called out to Jake, She had been gathering her courage since she had asked Jake to stay with her. However she was hesitant, she didn't want to burden the boy with her own feelings.
When she turned her head to look up at Jake he was already looking down at her a question in her eyes. "I..." Cleo began however she stopped; she wished to be selfish with this but with him she could not be. Never with him, and not when he was hurting.
So instead Cleo reached her hands up touching Jake's one cheek and placing a gentle kiss on his cheek "Thank you for accompanying me today"
Jake Braverman could feel heat flushing his face as his eyes widened and his breath faltered, and for the very first time in his life Jake Braverman felt flustered. However he had not been so flustered as to not realize that, that hadn't been what the girl wished to say. And Jake hadn't missed the uncertainty in her voice and in her features and it worried him. Cleo was not the type to hesitate, she always moved forward.
"You okay?" Jake couldn't help but to ask, his concern out weighing his thumping heart.
Cleo laughed having expected nothing less from the boy who saw everything, she could wait forever for him. "I'll tell you some other time" and she smiled brightly, twinkles in her eyes.
Jake was hesitant to accept the girls answer, he cared to much not to, however the girl seemed certain this time so Jake wrapped his arms around Cleo once more hugging her close to him as he rested his chin upon her head and the two stayed like that for hours.
~*~
Word Count: [5 118]
Hey all,
I'm want to start with apologizing for the late update, I was stuck trying to type Cleo and Jake's outing scene.
What did you guys think? And Cleo and Jake, their adorable right?
Fun fact: Jake and Cleo were supposed to kiss in the last scene but I want to move things slowly so their relationship has time to grow on y'all.
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