Dedicated to two amazing wattpaders who I am happy to call friends Jules0161 jward571

And a huge, huge thank you to all my readers who got me to 800 reads. ❤❤❤

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Chapter 4| Her Strength

A week after Olivia's disappearance and the Braverman family had yet to find any clues on the young Braverman's whereabouts. Having exhausted many revenues over the week the Braverman household was in despair.

Their hope for Finding Olivia was running low, their sleepless nights slowly catching up to their tired selves and their lack of any clues causing mass amounts of frustration for the family.

The Braverman's had done all they could think of,

Jake Braverman had spent the week in contact with hospitals within and around the town of Denville. Two of the hospitals had, had patients that matched Olivia Braverman's description to a tee causing fear and anxiety to fester within the young man; however upon reaching the hospital's The Braverman family were both relieved and saddened to discover that neither patient was their missing sister.

Ian Braverman had taken a similar approach to Jake, having gotten into contact with friends in the police force to ask for help. Ian had asked the officers to keep on the lookout for his younger sister, while the officers were willing to help find the young girl Ian was informed that a missing person report could not be filed due to a few factors which included Olivia being a legal adult and that she had left a note ruling out kidnapping.

Matter Braverman had taken up the task of creating and printing out flyers, hoping that a friend of Olivia's or Olivia herself would get in contact with the Braverman's. Maria, Jonathan and Jake had then helped Matter put the flyers up around town, and even going as far as to put them up in the next town over.

And even though their efforts were in vain the Braverman family were determined to find Olivia despite their crippling hope of actually achieving their goal.

~*~

Jason Braverman sat on the sofa in the lounge, having been busy all week Jason decided to take some time to himself. Time, he felt would best be spent watching home video's of a time where the Braverman family were much happier.

Jason Braverman had been given Olivia's diary from Jake a week back; however Jason hadn't been able to muster the courage he needed to read through what had been written in the book. His nightmares had only gotten worse and the thought of reading something that could make those nightmares more terror inducing was frightening.

Jason had thought about giving the diary to someone else to read for him but he couldn't run away like that, Jason felt if he didn't read the words himself he would not be able to face his younger sister, or confront the past.

Jason had understood the weight the book had over his family, understood that the truth could do more damage to his family and that scared him too.

Jason, just like his siblings, felt a constant, crippling fear for the unknown. Jason hated Olivia for this, for pushing all the pain onto their family so easily and leaving the destruction behind but at the same time Jason understood these emotions he felt had been the same for Olivia.

Had they not pushed their pain onto her while she carried her own pain?

Jason realized that Olivia must have felt the same sense of constant fear, constant regret and guilt over the events of that night. It was ironic how what they had done to her four years back was coming right back, as if Karma was laughing in their faces.

Jason knew this was not Olivia's intention, that she had left the diary with no malice and that what they got was what they gave.

It had been these thoughts that led Jason to the memories of a once happy past.

Jason smiled down toward his phone as the video played. A bitter sweet feeling taking over his heart.

Jason watched his mother set up the camera in the video, his father standing just a little ways in front of a one year old Olivia as she tried to stand.

And Jason remembered, his five year old self standing to the side with his brothers as they cheered Olivia on, their mother rushing to stand next to their father as Olivia stood on her two uneasy feet. And just like his five year old self Jason's heart swelled with joy when Olivia had taken her first step, not towards their parents but towards her big brothers, her chubby arms reaching out as she wobbled her way toward her brothers. Her giggles sounding through the phone making his fears disappear from his heavy heart.

Jason laughed at his father's reaction. Jonathan having pouted at Marcia, complaining that his little princess had already abandoned him for boys.

Jason was smiling broadly at his phone, while the tears slide down his pale skin. How he missed the young girl in the video.

Another video played on his phone and Jason found himself laughing at the screen while he watched in wonder at him and his brothers running around the house in only their towels with purple dyed hair. It had been Olivia's revenge after he and Matter put fake worms in her bed.

Jason listened to his mothers laughing voice through the phone.

"What are you watching?" a voice called out to Jason startling him.

Jason looked up toward his eldest brother who loomed over him in curiosity. Tilting his phone at an angle Jason watched Ian Braverman smile at the video that was playing.

Ian sat on the couch next to Jason and they watched the video in silence.

"I miss her" Jason muttered "I spent the last four yeas ignoring her and yet I miss her"

Jason was ashamed to admit it. over the years Jason had always defended his sister, but not once had he missed her. He had been to absorbed in dealing with his own problems that he hadn't seen what he was missing. Hadn't felt the absence of someone important to him.

Ian looked at his brother and smiled sadly "it's different now" he explained "she was still with us before, now that she's gone... it's different"

The two brothers fell into silence, both contemplating the weight of Ian's words and the truth it held, They had taken Olivia's presence for granted, had used the fact she was still with them to clear their own consciences.

For a while the silence had been maintained between the two, until Ian Braverman broke it "Why haven't you read Olivia's diary yet?" Ian asked.

Jason sighed; having known the question would come up eventually.

"I'm not ready" Jason explained plainly, having no words to describe all his worries and fears to his older brother.

"Not ready?"Ian asked his younger brother, wanting him to explain further.

"What happened that night must have been bad, really bad" Jason said "I don't think I'm ready to face it, to face the responsibility, to fully face the weight of knowing the truth" Jason explained.

It was the only way he could describe the feeling of despair creeping into his gut.

Ian leaned back in his chair, tilting his chin up to look upon the ceiling as he released a sigh. "We fucked up"

Jason looked at Ian, taken aback by his elder brother cursing. But he agreed with his brother. They had messed up.

"But a part of me is glad I did" Ian confessed, confusing Jason.

"Why? We may have forever ruined our relationship with her" Jason pointed out.

Ian gave Jason a rueful smile "because she didn't have to see me like THAT"

Jason shuddered at the image of Ian that flashed across his mind, a small part of him taking comfort in the fact that their little sister would never have to see that version of the oldest Braverman child. Just remembering the sight of his older brother like that made Jason's heart ache, he knew the tone for which his brother spoke the words, knew the self loathing that hid behind his words.

"We all went through shit Jason, I think if we had chosen to stick around Olivia we would have only made it worse for her" Ian said to his younger brother "After all what help could we have been, when we couldn't even help ourselves"

Jason knew Ian was right, The Braverman brothers hadn't been in any condition to help anyone, however each of them had found people they could depend on and Jason worried that Olivia hadn't had that same luxury.

As Ian left, Jason wondered if Olivia's 'truth' would have made things worse back then than what they had been.

They had lost their mother, what if they couldn't have helped Olivia?

And Jason realized that perhaps Olivia hadn't just kept quiet about what had happened because of Marcia's death but rather because she thought they would not have been able to bear it.

And Jason hated the fact that, Olivia may have been right to assume they couldn't.

~*~

Jason Braverman could no longer sit still, having found himself at the rooms of Dr Ann, The rooms having been a source of comfort for the Braverman boy over the years.

Jason had confided in Dr Ann numerous times, his nightmares being the main topic in each of their sessions. However this visit was not for Jason, but rather Jason sought answers from a woman who had known Olivia's secrets long before anyone else had.

As he waited for Dr Ann to finish with a patient, Jason allowed his mind to wonder. Looking around Dr Ann's waiting room he wondered if having visited the therapist's office had helped Olivia, If it had brought her the same sense of peace.

Olivia Braverman had been coming to Dr Ann for much longer than even Jason himself had, it mad him him ponder how many times had the young girl visited the red haired woman? How many times had his younger sister been forced to confide in a complete stranger because she could not confide in him?

What secrets had she forced herself to keep, because the shadow of their mother's death was too vast for her to escape?

How many nightmare's had held her captive at night, tormented her in the day, reminding her of memories she would rather have buried beneath the ground.

Jason Braverman recalled his own dream, his own nightmare, from the night before.

The dream had differed from the dreams he had, had of that night, more terrifying.

The dream began on a cliff side road, the heavy rain pouring down upon the car making it impossible too see what was ahead. The dream had been similar to many in that regard, however this dream differed from the others, for in the driver's seat sat a girl with blond hair and blue eyes to young to be his mother.

In the driver's seat sat Olivia Braverman, the girl singing along to a song Jason Braverman could not hear in his sleep, she seemed peaceful as she drove through the storm. Her eyes never having left the road for even a second.

Jason knew what was to come, had cried out to his young sister right before the small car drove over the embankment. Jason watched the car roll, before it crashed, fire taking over the car in a blaze.

He begged his sister to get out of the blazing car, but the young girl had no chance to escape. Jason tried to help but like a phantom drifting through the wind he could do naught for the girl.

His screams and cries waking him only moments later and he is taken back to his room where his nightmares continue to taunt his ever growing fear that his younger sister was out in the world and could quite possibly be in trouble. '

Jason Braverman had started to fear if the youngest Braverman child was dead. A thought that had crossed all of the Braverman's minds as they truly knew nothing of Olivia's whereabouts.

Trying to calm himself, Jason laid his head back against the wall and tried to imagine a world where he hadn't ignored his younger sister.

However even in his own mind Jason could not imagine such a thing, Ian's words ringing true in his ears.

Jason knew Olivia would not have simply told he or his brothers the truth simply because they were there, for Olivia was the type to think of other's before herself. She wouldn't have wanted to trouble us, whereas we would have troubled her.

Jason knew he and his brothers would have only brought Olivia Braverman trouble, fore that was all they were back then. His anger would have un-doubtfully been directed at his younger sister often, which would have cause only sadness for the girl and guilt for Jason who would never have intentionally done anything to sadden the girl.

His siblings would have been no better towards the young girl, having had troubles of their own. And it was simply because they had lost something so irreplaceable, they had lost their mother.

"... you may go in now" Jason heard Sofia, Dr Ann's receptionist, say to him as he was brought out of his mind.

Jason gave the lady in her late thirties a grateful smile before walking into Dr Ann's office.

Jason did not hesitate to immediately sit on the bright yellow sofa, the sofa a contrast to the otherwise bland office.

"Ah Jason, It's been quite a long time" Dr Ann greeted Jason with a professional smile upon on her face.

"Over a year if I'm not mistaken" Jason responded, the memory of that day playing in his mind.

It had been the anniversary of Marcia Braverman's death, and the day Jason Braverman had come to accept Marcia's death.

"How have you been?" Dr Ann Asked, thinking the boy was merely in her office to seek council as he always had during the four years she had been his therapist.

Jason smiled bitterly as he replied to the red haired woman "I've been good"

His answer had been the truth, he HAD been good and Jason could not help but to find fault in it, for hadn't it come with the price of his sisters happiness. Jason knew it was cliché but looking at his life he had all these amazing people who surrounded him, the friends he had made, his Brothers, their father and even Maria.

Jason had found his place, having graduated from university, and finding himself his dream job. He had made a life for himself. For the past year Jason Braverman had been living.

And yet he could no longer look at the things he had the same, as his thoughts would go back to a blonde haired little girl who hadn't had all of that happiness, having had it stripped away by blame that had been unjust.

"And your night terrors? Are you still taking your medication?" Dr Ann question Jason as she noted their session down on a notepad.

"I stopped my medication a month after my night terrors ended" Jason answered Dr Ann. Jason had not seen the need to continue the sleeping medication as he had already stopped receiving nightly terrors.

"Am I correct to assume you haven't had any night terrors subsequent to having stopped your medication?" Dr Ann continued to scribble notes upon her notepad as she questioned Jason.

"You would mostly be correct" Jason replied half heartedly as his night terrors had since returned.

Dr Ann looked up from her notes to stare at the Braverman boy, as she asked "Mostly?" her left eyebrow arching up as she inquired about what he meant.

"I have recently been experiencing my night terrors again" Jason answered.

"Has any event recently occurred to trigger the reappearance of these dreams?"

"Yes"

"How often have you had these dreams since the event occurred?"

"Every night"

Jason's answer startled Dr Ann, as his dreams before hadn't been so close together. He would have two to three episodes a week, which reduced with the prescription of sleeping pills for her office.

"Do you want to talk about what triggered these dreams?" Dr Ann asked.

"No" Jason answered immediately.

Jason Braverman had not come to Dr Ann's practice for a curse that had followed him since childhood. No Jason Braverman had come to get answers, answers perhaps only the woman in front of his eyes may answer having been Olivia's therapist.

Jason's answer once again surprised Dr Elizabeth Ann. When she had first met the Braverman boy, moths after having met his younger sister, Elizabeth had been surprised at how open Jason was.

Having had many patients come in through her doors, having been dragged by someone they knew, most hadn't come back. Whilst others were forced to continue their session, however those forced to come would take weeks of sessions before they would open up.

Olivia Braverman had been no different, having taken years to get the young woman to open up to her completely.

However here Jason was, sitting before her as he refused to talk about something he would have other wised told her about.

"What would you like to talk about then?" She asked Jason. Wanting to know what truly brought the Braverman child to her office, since the nightly episodes were clearly not the reason for the young man's visit.

"Olivia Braverman" Jason answered.

Jason Braverman could recall many of Olivia Braverman's favorite things growing up, such as; her favorite color having been yellow, her favorite flower having been the same as their mothers ( Sunflowers) and even Olivia's favorite song which had been titled 'picture perfect'

But Jason and The rest of The Braverman family could only wonder how much of their knowledge of the young Braverman had changed? How much the young girl herself had changed.

Jason was determined to get answers, he needed to know where she was or if she were safe. Jason Braverman would only truly rest after he had found his sister, only after he had seen for his own eyes that she was alright. That she were still Alive.

Dr Ann was left confused. Never once in their sessions had Jason Braverman ever wanted to speak of the young girl.

"She's your younger sister, correct?" Dr Ann asked, playing ignorant of the fact she indeed knew Olivia Braverman was his younger sibling. .

"Yes she is however you know that already, am I correct?" Jason answered Dr Ann's question with his own.

DR Ann understood what he wanted; she knew the young man had come to her after having found out some part of Olivia's past. She knew he had come seeking answers in that regard, however Elizabeth was bound law.

"I cannot disclose that information" She also wouldn't.

"Do you know where she is?"Jason asked pleadingly toward the woman. Ignoring what she had said as he was Desperate for the information.

"As I have said I cannot answer this Jason" Dr Ann once again informed Jason. However this time it had not been because of patient, doctor confidentiality but instead the lack of knowledge.

Jason had known the outcome, and yet he still wished it would have gone differently. Rubbing his face in his hands Jason sighed, he felt bad having put Dr Ann in the position he had but nonetheless Jason Braverman did not regret his actions having confirmed Olivia had in fact been a patient, Dr Ann having implied at least that much.

"I'm apologize for my behavior" Jason states sincerely, having gotten up from his position on the couch.

Jason Braverman then made his way toward the door, he saw no point in staying as he had not come to talk about himself but rather Olivia.

Before Jason could leave the room Dr Ann called out to him, stopping in his tracks Jason Braverman turned slightly to look back at the woman who looked at him with sincerity as she said.

"She is not so weak"

Jason left after that, her words sounding in his ears. The words had brought him comfort, but Jason knew Dr Ann hadn't said it to do so rather she was conveying a message through those words.

With that Jason made his way to a quite area, in a park he and Olivia would come to often to play, pulling out the little leather bound book as he sat down on a bench and begun to read.

~*~

Ian Braverman laid upon his bed, having been thinking back to the conversation with his younger brother. He hated that he had felt that way, but it had been the truth, Olivia Braverman had been better off without the messes he had made in her life. And Ian Braverman had made a mess out of a lot of things.

Ian's phone chimed from next to his bed, alerting Ian that he had received a message. Ian picked up the device, reading over the message from a friend he had long since forgotten.

Ian frowned bitterly at the device.

~•~
Word count [3 514] I know short.

Hey guys,
It has finally arrived (sorry it took so long).

I ended it on a bit of a cliffhanger.

But I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.

So Ian has friends in the police force, who knew...

Don't forget too

Until next time
Byeeeeeeee