Light.

That's all there was. Not the harsh, flickery orange of flame, or the pale, chilly glow of fluorescence. Just light—warm and bright and carefree.

Light was a new feeling, one I hadn't felt before—or, at least, hadn't felt in a very long time. I carried it with me everywhere. I saw it in the dark corners of the hospital; I saw it glinting off wire-framed glasses; I saw it reflected in warm, raven-black eyes. 

It was easy to spot the light once you knew where to look. And, for once in my life, I didn't have to search alone.

♛

It took an astoundingly short amount of time for Rokim and Lisa to come barrelling into my hospital room, phones at the ready. At my urging, Rian had gone home to shower and change, while Prof and Adrian had gone to see about my discharge. 

As usual, I was subject to hugs and concern and very, very loud reprimands. Apparently, it wasn't just Rian who believed that getting kidnapped was entirely my fault.

"I'm not even surprised at this point. Of course you'd get kidnapped, like something out of fucking Taken," Rokim grumbled, after having chewed me out for a solid five minutes. "You're always doing dumb shit."

"I am not—"

"Yes you are," Lisa chimed in, settling down onto the hospital bed beside me. "Seriously. I'm not sure how you haven't been arrested yet."

I fell silent, opting to simply roll my eyes. The mention of arrest brought my mind to Vanessa, and I suspected the others were thinking of her, too. 

I leaned my head against the backboard pensively. Now that the rage and terror had faded, I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to her to make her so . . . resentful. Even though I was the one she'd taken her anger out on, I got the distinct sense that something else was fueling it. She'd mentioned her father, her sisters. Being doomed to live as a puppet. 

Was that enough to drive someone crazy?

"Try not to think about it."

My gaze shot up from where it had settled on the pristine white of my bedsheets. Rokim was studying me carefully, a regretful twist to his lips. 

I shook my head, forcing a smile. "I can't really think about much else," I told him truthfully.

He glanced away, frowning miserably. There was a heavy moment of silence before he broke it, his fingers twisted with anxiety.

"I'm so sorry, Han," he blurted, his words coming out in a rush of breath. "I should have been there. No, I should have told you about her earlier, how she's always hated you. We finally did at the mall, and I thought it would be enough. I was stupid, Han. God, I should have known she would do something, but I didn't think that she'd . . . that she'd try to . . . fuck. Fuck."

My face softened. I reached over and grasped his shoulders, nudging until he turned to look me in the eyes. I frowned at the regret I saw in his. 

"Come on, Kimmy. It wasn't your fault. You can't possibly hold yourself responsible for something that was completely out of your control."

He stared at me for a long, quiet moment. Then a wry smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "That's ironic, considering you do it so well."

I blinked, releasing him and sitting back. Lisa whistled lowly. "He's got a point, Han."

I thought of the past few weeks. Living at Rian's house. Reading Apartment 212. Getting a dog. Kissing Rian for the first time. Watching him make me breakfast. Watching him pack a bag. Watching him leave. 

Pursing my lips, I eyed them both and squared my shoulders. "He had a point. I've had a few eye-opening experiences recently," I admitted, shrugging. "Consider me enlightened."

Lisa cocked her head in confusion, but Rokim's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

I kept my face nonchalant, concealing the months of agony it had taken for me to get here. "Yep." Suddenly uncomfortable, I shifted on the bed. "I mean, I miss my parents. A lot. But I—I don't think they would've wanted me feeling like all that shit was my fault. I don't want to feel like that. So, um, I'm gonna start seeing Adrian once a week. To talk, you know. I think it'll be good."

The next thing I knew, Rokim had wrapped me up in a tight hug. 

"Fucking finally," he breathed, relief in his voice. I laughed and hugged him back, grinning widely when he pulled away. "I'm proud of you, Han."

I scratched the back of my head, slightly embarrassed. "I'm proud of me too."

"I'm proud of you three," Lisa added, eyebrows raised. "See, that's funny, because this conversation has nothing to do with me."

Rokim and I broke into startled laughter, and suddenly everything was normal again.

"Wait," I said, reining in my mirth as a thought occurred to me. "How did you guys even find me?"

Rokim and Lisa exchanged guilty glances, and my eyes narrowed. "Even I didn't know where I was. So how on earth did you two know where to look?"

After another silent moment, Rokim sighed and pulled out his phone. "I may or may not have installed a tracking app on your phone," he grumbled.  

I blinked. A second ticked by. Two seconds. Three.

"You what?"

He cringed, but still managed to look me in the eye. "It's just because you're always doing stupid shit!" he argued defensively. "Plus this was the first time I even used it. Ask Lisa, she'll tell you."

Lisa winced resignedly. I whirled on her.

"You knew about this?"

She raised her hands in a placating gesture. "Well, yes," she admitted, "but it wasn't just us. Prof and Adrian know, too."

I stared at her, appalled. After a few seconds of indignant sputtering, I let my head fall into my hands. 

"Oh my god," I moaned. "Am I just a child to all of you?"

There was a meaningful silence. My head shot back up to glare at them, but they both met my gaze with barely concealed smiles.

"I mean, you're definitely the size of one," Lisa offered. Rokim burst out laughing. I just dropped my head back into my hands, trying to fight a smile of my own.

♛

Finally, after much arguing and a few thinly veiled threats from Prof, I was discharged from the hospital. All in all, I was pretty unscathed, although there would always be a bit of a scar on my arm. I didn't mind it, though—it was like a badge of honour. Hanna Jordan, the girl who escaped a near-lethal kidnapping, and managed to kick her own demons along the way.

Or something like that.

Within a couple hours, we were back at my apartment. I eventually managed to convince Prof and Adrian to stop worrying over me and go home, but they left the others with strict instructions to keep me from getting into trouble. It was all I could do not to roll my eyes—although, considering the circumstances, maybe their concern was justified.

Unfortunately, I had a habit of finding trouble even when it didn't find me.

"Hanna!" Rian growled. He'd gone absolutely still, mostly because of the lump of white fluff I'd just dumped on his head.

"Hm?"

"Get your goddamn dog off of me."

I grinned, circling around my couch, phone at the ready. His hands were up around his ears, halfway between trying to lift Siggy off his hair and keeping him from sliding to the ground. 

"Aww," I cooed, snapping half a million pictures while Rian glared daggers. "Aren't you just the sweetest thing."

He tried to pry the dog off with his fingers, but every time he did, Siggy would yelp and huddle against him tighter. His little claws dug into Rian's forehead and shoulders, scrambling to stay afloat. I was dying.

"Hanna, I swear to god . . ."

"Whatcha gonna do, Haltie?" I dared him, grinning like a madwoman. "That's right. Nothing."

He scowled, eyeing me dangerously. Then he leaned down, bracing his hands on the floor. I frowned.

"What are you—?"

My voice dropped away as he flipped himself vertically, doing an effortless handstand. Siggy lost his grip and slid down a few inches, flumping onto the floor and tottering away. I, however, was thunderstruck by the sudden sight of Rian's shirt bunching around his chest, revealing nearly his entire torso.

His godly, tattooed, sculpted-to-perfection torso.

Now that Siggy was off of him, he let himself fall on his back. His entire body was stretched leanly across the carpeted floor, and my mouth was curiously short of saliva. He smirked, as if he knew exactly what he was doing to me.

Which, in all honesty, he probably did.

"O-kay, that's enough of the flirting," Lisa called, tossing a couch cushion at Rian's exposed abdomen. 

We both jolted at the sudden reminder that we weren't actually alone. Rokim and Lisa eyed us drily from their spots at the kitchen counter, shaking their heads.

"Animals, I swear to god," Rokim muttered. 

Lisa flopped down onto the couch, tossing Siggy a treat she'd snatched from the cabinet. He barked and happily went to nibble at it. "Well, if I'm being honest, I can't say I'm entirely upset about . . . this," she said, gesturing between the two of us. 

Rian, who had propped himself up at the base of the couch, crossed his legs and gestured for me to join him. I stepped over his legs and settled down next to him, absurdly happy when he slung an arm over my shoulders and nestled me into his side. 

"Frankly," Lisa continued, "I can't believe it even took you guys this long to get your heads out of your asses and bone it up."

We both tensed, simultaneously embarrassed. "Shut up," we replied in sync.

"See?" Lisa squealed. "You're perfect for each other!"

Rokim came to join her on the couch, scooping up Siggy on the way. "It doesn't really surprise me that it took so long," he admitted, studying the two of us. 

I groaned. Apparently this conversation was not over.

"Why not?" Lisa asked. "Because they're idiots?"

"Yep," Rokim answered, popping the 'p'. "Totally oblivious idiots." He petted Siggy between the ears, examining the two of us again. Irritatingly, I felt the beginnings of a blush creep up on me. "Maybe not Rian. I wouldn't call him oblivious." He paused, scratching his chin pensively. "He's more like an ultra angsty, Edward Cullen-esque vampire."

"I'm a what?" 

"That's it!" Lisa exclaimed, bouncing on her seat. She looked at Rian's glaring face as though seeing him for the first time. "Wow. Wow. That's exactly right."

"Oh my god," I mumbled, eyeing him in my peripheral vision. "You are an Edward."

He reared away from me, indignation spreading across his face. "Not you, too."

But I wasn't listening. I was too distracted by the realization I was dating an honest-to-goodness, Stephenie Meyer-made vampire.

Then Rokim continued talking. "So Hanna's definitely the oblivious one."

My attention snapped back to him. "What?" I cried. "I am not!"

He coughed very unsubtly into his hand. "Sure you aren't."

"I notice things, Kimmy. I'm just as observant as any of you."

He turned to look me in the eye. "You've had a piece of paper taped to your back for the past ten minutes," he deadpanned.

I balked and reached around my back, fumbling until my fingers landed on paper. I ripped it off, reading the words written in bold permanent marker.

SHORT BODY, SHORT FUSE

I tore it to shreds and turned to glare up at Rian, whose shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter. He only grinned when I threw the pieces at him and turned back to Rokim with a huff.

"That doesn't prove anything."

Rokim shrugged, still idly scratching at Siggy's ears. His next words were said casually, as though he was discussing the weather.

"Well, you didn't notice I had an enormous crush on you, for, like, forever." 

I paused. 

Rewound the words in my head. Played them again. Waited for them to make sense.

They didn't.

"Huh?"

"Oh, right," Rian grumbled beside me. "I remember that."

Rokim raised an eyebrow amusedly, gesturing at my shell-shocked expression. "See what I mean?" he said smugly. "Oblivious."

I gaped at him, then at everyone in the room, one by one. Lisa looked totally unsurprised by this information, as did Rian.

"Wait," I stumbled, "you . . . you all knew about this?"

Rian wrapped a strand of my hair around his forefinger. "It wasn't exactly well-hidden." He paused, smiled disbelievingly, then shook his head. "You really didn't know?"

"No!" I exclaimed, dozens of memories rewriting themselves in my head.

Oh god. I really was oblivious.

Rian's finger hooked onto the collar of my shirt, pulling me to him. I blinked in surprise, but his attention wasn't directed at me. The curl of his arm on my shoulders was markedly possessive.

"I assume it's in the past?" he asked Rokim, his voice bordering on a threat.

Rokim only chuckled, raising his hands placatingly. "You have nothing to worry about, promise. Besides," he said, interlacing his fingers with Lisa's pointedly, "I'm dating Lisa, obviously."

"Mhmm," Lisa agreed. "And besides, who cares if Roke had a crush on you?" she continued, shrugging. "So did I."

I rolled my eyes, letting out a breath. "I knew about that, at least."

"Who didn't?" Rian muttered. "You guys were three steps from going all out on your kitchen counter."

Lisa sighed and stared at the kitchen counter with a wistful expression. "I know. What a wasted opportunity," she murmured.

"Everybody, please shut up," I huffed, getting up off the floor. Rian chuckled but let me go as I shook my head, trying to remember what I'd wanted to do when we first came here.

Get into trouble. Right.

"Listen, guys," I began seriously. "There's something I wanna do, but you're not gonna like it."

They sobered up immediately, regarding me with narrowed eyes. 

"What is it this time?" Rokim asked, suspicious. And for good reason, based on what I was about to say next.

I sighed, kicked at the floor. I rubbed the back of my neck in resignation. Then I met all their gazes, one by one.

"I want to go see Vanessa."