THE COUNTDOWN had begun. 

Day Three

They're not real.

"No."

My eyes shot open, searching the darkness for the sound. The dim light of the TV made it easy to spot Siggy, still dozing on Rian's chest. Everything else was silent. For a second, I thought I'd imagined the pained cry that had pierced the air.

"N-no. I'm sorry."

I hadn't imagined it.

I glanced down to the sound's source, my gaze falling on Rian's head in my lap. His forehead was beaded with sweat, his hands clenched into fists. 

Nightmare.

I brushed the hair off his brow, rubbing his arm soothingly. "Rian," I murmured. "It's okay. You're alright." I paused, swallowed. "They're not real."

His jaw worked. It was a minute before his eyes fluttered open, staring at the ceiling emptily.

"Hanna."

My fingers curled in his hair, traced the ink pattern on his chest. Anything to reinforce the fact that he was here, in the real world. Not there.

"Yeah?"

"They won't go away."

My throat went dry at the break in his voice. I took his hand from where it was lying prone on his abdomen, intertwining it with mine. Then I leaned down and pressed my lips to his forehead.

"I know," I murmured. "You'll feel better soon."

At my touch, his eyes closed again. We stayed like that for a long time, weathering our demons together. It was only when his breathing evened out that I realized he'd fallen back asleep.

I smiled, disentangling myself from him and standing up. I lifted Siggy off his chest and moved him to his cot before rolling up my sleeves to prepare for the day.

♛

Day Two

Our happiness was temporary.

"Hanna, get this dog off of me!"

I glanced out of the kitchen, looking on with surprise as Rian emerged from his bedroom. He'd woken a little while ago and disappeared to go shower. Now, he stomped towards me. I didn't see what the problem was until he pointed down.

Siggy was latched onto his leg. 

He barked when Rian tried to pry him off, to no avail. I raised a hand to my mouth, trying my best not to laugh, but Rian saw my expression and his eyes narrowed.

"Oh, you find this funny, do you?"

I couldn't stop a giggle from bubbling out of me. "It's a little funny."

He took a step forward, invading my personal space. "Is it?"

I smirked up at him. "Indeed it is. What are you going to do about it?"

He leaned forward, my breath slowing. He brushed his lips against my own, trailing them over my jaw. His hands circled my waist. We locked gazes, and he hesitated, that same indecipherable glimmer making its way into his eye.

Then he grabbed the whisk on the counter behind me and whipped around, chucking it to the other side of the apartment.

I blinked as Siggy shot off his leg, bounding to go retrieve the thrown item. Smirking, Rian turned back to me, watching my face redden.

"It is way too easy to make you blush," he drawled, twirling a finger in my hair. I glared and stepped away, ignoring his chuckle when I turned back to the counter.

His head came to rest on my shoulder, peeking at my busy hands. "What're you doing?" he asked amusedly.

"Making breakfast," came my cross reply.

His hands wrapped around my waist. "Aw, don't be mad," he teased, but there was something in his voice that hinted he was serious. "If you always let your emotions get the best of you, you'll never get over me."

I rolled my eyes, but a smile began to creep over my face. "Why would I need to get over you? You're not going anywhere."

He didn't say anything and instead planted a kiss on my cheek. Turning so he was facing me, he leaned against the counter island. "Let me help with breakfast," he suggested.

"Fine. You like chocolate sauce?"

He wiggled his eyebrows. "Depends where you put it."

I barked out a laugh and shook my head, eyeing him. "On the pancakes, Haltie."

"Oh." He tilted his head, hair spilling over one eye. "Well, that's exactly where I like it." He put a hand to his chest in mock-horror. "I mean, what did you think I meant, Hanna?"

My grin broadened, though I tried to hide it. "You're in a surprisingly good mood," I observed amusedly.

"I'm in surprisingly good company," he answered, grinning lazily. "I should savour it while I still can, shouldn't I?"

The comment made my smile dampen in confusion, but then he grabbed the pan and flipped the pancake onto a plate. I gaped, completely distracted.

"Teach me how to do that!" I demanded. He grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

"Hmm," he pondered, idly flipping another pancake. I watched in awe. 

"Will you get rid of your dog?" he asked.

I scowled. "No!"

"Then no."

I groaned, swatting him. "Come on, don't be so petty." I eyed him. "I'm starting to think you're jealous."

He raised a brow, hooking his finger into my shirt to draw me close. "Of course I'm jealous," he murmured, and my eyes widened. "I want all of your attention. All of you."

I bit my lip, glancing at the ground. I didn't notice the sad glint in his eye. 

But I did notice his grin when he tugged my chin back up, stealing a kiss. When he pulled away, I'd lost my breath.

"But for now, I guess I'll have to be satisfied with what I have," he said, shrugging. "It's not the worst thing in the world, to have a dog."

He turned back to the pancakes, but I'd gone stiff. Those words were almost exactly what Prof had said the day before, when I'd accidentally overheard their conversation. My brow furrowed—I had to tell him.

I was only worried about what would happen when I did.

"Come on," Rian called smugly, licking chocolate sauce off his thumb. "I'll teach you. Consider it a life skill."

I decided to put it out of my mind for the time being. I turned and raised a brow. "You know what? I can probably figure it out on my own."

"Oh really?"

He didn't believe me, watching with a self-satisfied expression, until I marched over and grabbed the handle of the pan. I smirked—I was pretty observant when I wanted to be. Making sure to hold myself exactly the way he had, I flipped the pancake.

It landed flawlessly.

Rian's smugness disappeared, instead replaced by an irritated groan and another set of complaints that I wasn't 'fair to the world.' I grinned the whole time, but the knowledge that our happiness was temporary was not lost on me.

A reckoning was coming all too soon, and I didn't think either of us would be ready when it did.

♛

Day One

Have mercy.

"I'm telling you, this thing's broken!"

I gestured to Rian's Wii angrily. He watched my outburst with amusement, having just won a rather intense game of Mario Kart.

"It's not my fault you don't have the reach to play Wii," he drawled, ducking when I threw a couch cushion at him. "Don't blame the device 'cause you've got little arms."

I gasped indignantly, throwing another pillow at him with savage force. "Take that back!"

"What, you want long arms? That would be so disproportionate," he argued, dodging each projectile with ease. "You'd look like a chibi slenderman."

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"I mean, you can try—oof!"

Rian's voice was cut off when I tackled him onto the couch. He laughed richly as I wrestled him down onto the floor, raising his palms in surrender.

"Alright! You win," he conceded, grinning at my narrowed eyes. "Have mercy."

"Mercy is for people who deserve it," I grumbled, straddling him.

He glanced away, still smiling. "I know," he agreed, pulling me closer. His lips brushed mine. "For future reference, I mean," he murmured. "When I inevitably let you down. Have mercy."

I began to frown, but before I could get a word in he was kissing me, and I forgot.

♛

D-Day

Reckoning.

"Where're you going?" I called as Rian headed to the door.

"Rokim's apartment," he answered, swinging on his coat. "He asked me to look after his place while he's gone. Cooking competition with Lisa, or something."

I pouted from where I was sitting upside-down on the couch, my legs up in the air. "He asked you to look after it instead of me?" I asked indignantly.

"Obviously."

"Why's it obvious?"

"Because," he paused, walking over and pecking me on the lips, "you're an idiot."

I gasped, flipping myself upright. "I am not an idi—ohh man. Oh man headrush. Heaaaadrush."

Rian chuckled, striding back to the door. "Exactly. I should be back in a half hour."

I groaned, lifting my face from where it'd been buried in my palms. "Can I at least use your laptop, then? I left mine at home and I wanna watch Game of Thrones."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't you ever do anything besides watch TV?"

"Yes. It's called keeping you company."

"I never asked you to do that."

"Yes you did. Silently. I can read your mind, you know."

He shook his head, a rueful smile tugging at his lips. "Fine. Use it all you want. But if you're so psychic, figure out the password yourself."

I nodded confidently. "Challenge accepted, Haltie. Have fun being Kimmy's maid."

"Please," he scoffed, heading out the door. "He wouldn't be able to afford me."

I smiled to myself, hopping off the couch. Siggy was asleep on his cot. The apartment seemed a little too quiet as I walked over to the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, I had a nice little cheese platter set out, ready for snacking. I slipped into Rian's room, grabbing his laptop off his sidetable and bringing it out to the couch.

"Hmm," I hummed, staring at the screen. "Password."

Just for kicks, I tried entering 'gofreudyourself69,' but it didn't take. Should've known he wouldn't use the same password twice, I thought amusedly. I began to type random possibilities.

sigmundfreud?

psychologyrules?

psychologyrulezwithaZ?

Hmm.

thatpissefroid?

I frowned at the red 'incorrect' icon that came up with each attempt. After the fifth time, a little blurb came up. Password hint?

"I could have used that like five incorrects ago," I mumbled, clicking on it irritatedly. A line of text ran across the screen.

Short, argumentative, a lot like a dog.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I muttered, reading it again. And again. It was only when I read it a fourth time that I realized what the password was.

"No way." I slowly typed in the letters, trying to convince myself I was wrong. "This is dumb. I'll get locked out or something. He wouldn't—"

Welcome back, Rian.

I was in.

"What the heck?" I exploded, my face flaming. Siggy raised his head sleepily from across the room, but I was too embarrassed to notice. "Why is my name the password to his computer?"

HannaJordan. I couldn't believe it. No wonder he'd looked so smug when he left.

Whatever. I'd have words about this with him later. I was absolutely by-no-means pleased. The warmth in my chest was from irritation, nothing else.

"Time for Game of Thrones," I murmured, clicking on his browser. An open window popped up instead. 

I frowned when I realized his browser was already in use. The page was currently loading. I hadn't seen him use his computer the entire time I'd been here. Why would he have a—

Outgoing flights. [1] booked ticket.

Those two words brought my thoughts to a standstill. They stood out on the webpage like blots of ink. My eyes rapidly scanned over the rest of it, feeling something awful pool in my gut.

Flights. Booked. He was . . . leaving the country?

The front door suddenly slammed open. My shocked gaze shot to Rian, out of breath and standing in the foyer. His eyes first went to the computer in my lap, then to my face. 

"Shit." His voice was the wind, both barely audible and deafeningly loud.

I chewed on my lower lip, trying to quash the wave of hurt throbbing through me. "You're going. Taking a plane somewhere." It wasn't a question.

He leaned against the doorframe, resigned. "Yeah. I am."

"Why?"

He steeled his features. All at once, he was that old, impenetrable fort of isolation. He was right there, and yet I couldn't see him anywhere I looked. "That's not important."

I stood, the laptop sliding onto a couch cushion. "Yes it is." I barely managed to keep the betrayed tremor out of my words. "It's important to me."

"Don't pretend you didn't know it would happen," Rian replied, painfully indifferent. "It was an eventuality."

"It's an eventuality that you would book a flight in secret, and then what? Disappear?" My voice burned hotter than my gaze. "Is that what you mean when you say eventuality?"

His eyes were colder than ice, unrecognizable, when he said, "No. I mean that eventually, we'd wear each other out and stop working. Like an old clock." He raised both his brows, like he was talking about an inconvenient spell of weather. "I'm just getting it done early."

My breath had stopped in my throat. I tried to see past the veneer, to rationalize the situation, but it was becoming more difficult with every passing second he looked at me like that. Like I was expendable. 

Even when he was pretending not to know me, he'd never had that look in his eye.

"Tell me why," I insisted.

"No." 

He stepped inside, heading for his room like I wasn't even there. As he passed by the couch to scoop up his laptop, I caught his arm.

"Rian." The hurt in my voice was clear, bare and vulnerable for the first time. I repeated his name, tasting the syllables on my tongue. "Rian, just. Stay."

He paused, glancing at my fingers on his forearm. For just a second, I saw a flicker of regret on his face, and the expression was familiar enough for hope to surge within me again.

Then it disappeared and he smoothly detached himself from my grasp. "Staying isn't worth it," he said coolly, and something inside me fractured.

Silence. And then:

"Alright." 

The word was uncharacteristically quiet. I could barely believe it had come from my mouth, but there it hung, heavy as rain in the air. 

Rian gazed at me blankly when I made my way to the door, but the tilt to his chin showed that he'd expected this outcome. The angle to his face said that there was no end to our playing-house besides this—him, watching me leave his home. And me, later, watching the sky for planes, wondering which one was his.

There was no other conclusion. It was an eventuality, after all.