"Are you sure about this?" her mother asked for the hundredth time. "Maybe there are other ways, there's  still two months left before the bond will fade completely. That's plenty of time to find something."

Paige sighed. She had had this conversation with her mother three times just this morning. She grabbed her suitcase and walked out to car. "Yeah mom. I'm sure. I can't stay. I've got a job and responsibilities in London. I've already been here long enough. Besides, I don't want to wait until the fall to do my defense. The committee will be leaving for the summer holidays soon. I've got to get back and get it done. I can't keep my life on hold anymore." She put her bag in the car and closed the door.

"You can go do your defense and come back, you can still-"

"I can't Mom!" She cut her off, turning back to her mother. "I can't stay here. I can't spend the next two months with him for it to not work. If I do I will stay here forever."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"If the bond fades and he's mated to someone else then yes! I can't fall even more in love with him only to lose him in the end. No, it's better this way. The bond will fade and he'll find someone else. He'll be happy and I'll survive." She forced her voice to be firm even as she fought to keep her tears from falling.

"There's more to life then just survival." Her mother said softly, a final plea to get her to stay.

"I know, I know that. And maybe I would have found that before I met him, but now the best I can do is survive." She hugged her mother fiercely. "I'll be okay mom. It's not like you'll never see me again. I will survive this. I love you."

"I love you too, my dear girl." They pulled away and Paige opened the car door.

"I've got to go. Tell Micah goodbye for me and tell dad-" she paused, trying to think of something to say before she realized that there was nothing she wished to say to her father. "I don't really care what you tell him. Tell him anything you want so he doesn't take it out on you." She leaned forward and kissed her mother on the cheek. She climbed into the passenger seat as Sophie got into the driver's. Sophie knew nothing they said could change her sisters mind so she had watched the scene with quiet resignation.

"Love you, bye." Her mother smiled.

"Love you, bye," she said back. Sophie started the car and pulled out of the driveway. Paige took a big breath and let it out at once to steady herself. They drove out of town towards Boston. Her plan was to get there and get on the plane before Nathan even knew she was gone. She had written a letter for Sophie to give to him once she got back to the pack. If she calculated the timing correctly, it would take as long for Sophie to drive back as it took her to get through security and boarded on the plane. She'd be in the air before Nathan had a chance to beg her to stay. Nathan begging was the only way she would do it. She knew that and took steps to prevent it. Last night being one of them.

She hadn't intended to stay the night with him. She was only planning on a simple dinner that would serve as a final goodbye. A happy memory to leave on, but when he kissed her like that she couldn't keep her desire for him away. She deepened their kiss and let go of her inhibitions. Just for one night, she let herself have what she wanted more than anything. She let herself love him and let him love her in return.

It was perfect, the perfect goodbye. She felt bad that he didn't know it was goodbye. He must have thought it was the beginning of something more. It was cowardly and she knew it but she couldn't face him. When he asked if he'd see her later her resolve almost broke. She couldn't face him and instead said the same thing she had said to him after their very first kiss. He asked for more and she told him "In your dreams."

Pulling herself from her downward thought spiral, she looked to her sister. "I'm sorry I didn't spend a lot of time with you on this trip."

Sophie shrugged. "You had other things going on."

"It's not an excuse though. I should have made more time for you." Sophie just shrugged again. "How about you stay after graduation? We can go up into the lake district or the Scottish highlands. It's beautiful up there. You'd love it. I've a friend who knows the local pack and can get us permission to visit."

"That sounds great." Sophie said it without much enthusiasm.

"You're mad at me aren't you?"

"I'm not mad. I just-" She let out a big sigh. " I can understand why you're doing this. I just wish it didn't have to be this way."

"I know," Paige sighed. "I wish it didn't either. And if I thought I could take it I would stay, but I just can't. It's too much for me. I barely made it the last time. I can't do it again."

"Micah told me," she said quietly. "About the last time..." She let the thought trail off, unable to voice it.

"I wish he hadn't."

"He really didn't have a choice." She gave Paige a slight smirk before her face fell again. "I found him crying after he got back. I made him tell me. It was too much for him to carry on his own."

Paige let the guilt wash over her. She deserved it. Though she hadn't been completely present for Micah's first time in London, she was grateful Lennette called him. She hated leaning on her siblings. Thank you was all Paige could say. She was truly lucky to have them. They could have easily been just as terrible as the rest of the pack but the always defended and protected her. She did her best to reduce the burden she put on them. She felt as the older sister it was her duty to protect them not the other way around. When she voiced that to Sophie, she just snorted.

"That's the stupidest thing you've ever said. And I just listened to all your bullshit reasons for leaving your mate."

"Sophie-"

"No Paige, I know nothing I say will change your mind so I've stayed quiet but I still think it's bullshit."

"You said,"

"I understand your why, doesn't mean I agree."

"You're still driving me to the airport."

"Well yeah. I'm not going to hold you hostage. It's your choice, even if it's a stupid one."

They fell into silence after that. At the airport they hugged each other tightly before saying goodbye. Paige gave Sophie the letter and made her promise to deliver it. Sophie drove off and Paige made her way through check-in and security. She found her gate before using the restroom and getting something to eat. She tried to keep the tears away and hold it together, at least until she was on the plane. There she'd only disturb her seat mate not a whole waiting area full of people. She boarded and stowed her things before taking her seat. She got lucky to find one next to the window, even after booking the last minute flight.

They sat on the runway waiting to take off. She was about to put her phone in airplane mode when a call from Sophie came through. She answered. "Did you give it to him?" She heard the last voice she wanted to hear right then.

"Paige, what are you doing?"

"Damn it, Sophie," she breathed. She was lucky they had already pulled away from the gate. There was no way for her to get off the plane.

"Paige-" He started to beg her to stop but she interrupted him.

"Did you read the letter?"

"I don't want to read a letter Paige I want you to tell me what's going on." The desperation in his voice broke her heart.

"I'm going back to London."

"Paige no. Please just don't get on the plane. Wait for me I'm coming to you right now."

"I'm already on the plane." Even as she said it her mind started thinking of ways she could do it before she took back control of her thoughts.

"Then get off!" She pulled the phone away from her ear as he shouted into it. "Paige please. Just get off the plane," he pleaded.

"I can't we've already pulled away from the gate. I've got to go Nathan, we're about to take off. Good-"

"NO!" he shouted. "Don't you dare say goodbye. Not again. Please Paige." His voice broke as he begged her not to leave him. She was barely holding it together.

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I'm so sorry." Tears streamed down her face, she tried to keep them out of her voice. It might be easier for him to move on if he heard her detached. "Read the letter. It's all there."

"Paige ple-"

"Goodbye Nathan." She sit the end button and immediately put her phone into airplane mode. As the plane took to the sky she broke down in tears. Her seat mate was a kind elderly lady who quietly reached into her purse and handed Paige some tissues. Paige gratefully took them and gave a shaky 'thank you' between sobs.

Paige fell asleep after crying herself out. Luckily, she was able to sleep for the majority of the six hour flight. She woke up shortly before landing. She seat mate handed her some water and a single serving packet of ibuprofen.

"I got these from the flight attendants deary." She had a British accent but Paige couldn't place the region. "I always have a headache after a good cry."

"Thank you," Paige said, taking the water and ibuprofen from her.

"From my experience, the only men to bring on tears like that are either the worst of rascals or the kindest of souls. Which one is yours then?"

"He's-" Paige stopped. It was hard to find the words to describe Nathan. "He's a total idiot," she said with a laugh. "But he's also the best male I have ever known."

"Well, from my experience," she said again. "Which is rather considerable, running from men like that will leave you with more hurt than a post-cry headache. Afterall, self-imposed hurt is the worst kind of hurt."

"Who said I'm running?" Paige asked sadly.

"Deary, the only time kids your age write someone a letter is because they're to afraid to say it in person. You took his call and told him to read the letter. If he's the best man you've ever known and you're putting an ocean between you two then you're running." She said it simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The plane landed and they followed the crowd off. The woman gathered Paige in a hug before saying her goodbyes. Paige made her way through the airport and customs. It was still the middle of the night when she landed so she decided to take a cab home instead of the train. It was nearly five AM before she made it home. It was all she could do to get in the door and make it to her bed.

She lay awake in bed trying not to think about what Nathan might be doing right now. Did her read her letter? Did he cry? Was he hurting as much as she was?

She felt the familiar tug of loneliness once more. It had disappeared while she was home, while she was with Nathan, but now it was back once again. She laid in her bed alone and let sleep over take her.