Yash

When I opened my eyes, it was still dark. Extending my free arm, I picked my mobile off my side rack, it was 4:30 AM. I took a deep breath realizing I could sleep some more. My eyes moved to the Resh sleeping on my other shoulder. She looked calm, free of any inhibition or worry. Turning towards her, I flattened my cheek over her head.

Yesterdays little discussion made me realised how emotional she is. During our university days, I thought her to be a practical tough girl, on the contrary she turned out an emotional one. My arms tightened around her and she hummed settling down. I couldn't help but wonder how a small incident left her scarred to open her emotions up. She is looking for affection but fears to commit. I know hoe that feels, I have been scared to commit for years. I would run for my life, if a girl expressed interest it me. Jane, my colleague and friend in US was first to notice my discomfort and ask me to see a therapist. She felt I was keeping my anger bottled up. She said it would harm be in long run. I took her advice and saw a therapist. Where I finally opened about my feelings. May the comfortability of sharing with an unknown person or my desperation to be free of the pain.

I smiled, I should be thanking Jane for pushing me to take the step. After many sessions, the therapist asked me to talk it out with someone I trust, I did with Jane. I told her all, my two heart breaks and about my feisty best friend. Jane would ask me many questions and I answered all. It was her who noticed my fondness about Reshu. It was her who made me realise that it was all the way Resh who occupied my mind and my thoughts. That when I decided to come and find her. I realized it wasn't just finding about her whereabouts, but the girl I had befriended. The fearless, bold Reshu. The one I met is broken scared and someone who had build big walls around her.

''You are thinking about me'' She whispered breaking my thoughts. I smiled at her. She stared at me with lazy eyes, still cocooned in my arms, ''I know I am an emotional wreck and you must be thinking what kind of girl you have fallen for. Sometimes I feel I am overreacting about the thing that happened in past.'' With a deep breath she turned quiet.

Pushing my torso up , I leaned against the head board of bed. Resh joined me, leaning her head on my shoulder. Intertwining our fingers together, I lifted her finger tips to my lips, ''Resh, emotions are never wrong. Good or bad, fierce or mild, emotions depict your truest self. Certain things hurt us more than it hurts others. It's ok to be an emotional wreck, it shows how strong you are. You have made yourself something fighting that broken heart of yours. I am proud of you Resh'' Pecking her forehead, I added, ''and myself , for losing my heart to you.'' She blinked a couple for time staring at me and then smiled hiding her face in my chest. ''I am glad you are here Yash.''

''So am I love. So am I.'' I responded, holding her close. We stayed there until the dawn. Resh left the bed, waking me up with a peck. I rolled around the length and breath of my bed happily, 'best birthday ever.''

***

After freshening up I heard the two girls chatting, no rather bickering. It appeared Shikha was pestering Resh about something and I decided to stay in. I have a fair idea what that girl must be pestering Resh about. I just can't afford to face Shikha. I know what she is probing Resh with and I am in not in a situation to face her scrutiny.

Moving to the balcony, I thought a lot about Resh. Her inhibitions and fears. It has somehow affected her personality too. She isn't the same girl who would speak her mind freely but this one was no where close to the girl I knew. I made a decision, I will throw her into situations where in she will be forced to react and throw her emotions out. I checked the date , I just have 2 weeks before I go back to Delhi and then US.

''Hey, lets go out this weekend. You haven't seen the complete Goa.'' Resh chirped walking to me. I nodded. She smiled and stood there for sometime fidgeting on her place. ''Out with it Resh.''

''Yash, you are in love with me. That's what you think.''

''No, that is the truth.'' I interrupted

''Yash, it wouldn't last. The freedom we have as friends will turn into obligations rules. Marriage will change things.''

''Fine, then lets sign friendship agreement. Wherein our families would celebrate it like a wedding. Then can eat and drink to it, while we make a pact to be just friends.''

''This isn't funny.'' She retorted.

I smiled, ''it wasn't intended to be funny. I am serious.'' She made a helpless face and changed the topic. ''So where are you taking me this weekend''

She smiled, ''few chapels and churches and then to a beach party. Shikha invited us.'' I just nodded.

***

We started early on Saturday going around the famous places in Goa. I realised she loved the place , she looked happy excited about showing off the different places to me. She elaborated everything she knew about those places.

Evening, after changing for party we drove to a plush hotel, where the beach party was being organised. For the first time I had seen Resh wearing a shot dress. Frankly, my throat dried when she stepped out, but I refrained myself from commenting or showing off any effect. She wanted a friend and I decided to be one. Once we stepped out, Resh smiled and then held my hand, which was a bit unusual. She dragged me around introducing me to everyone she knew there. Every time she introduced me to her friends, her eyes held a pride. She would tell me about the names of her acquaintances and then turn to me, looking straight into my eyes with a smile, she would either place her palm on my chest or her head while introducing me. She boldly expressed her right on me glaring and shooing of the girls who would try and flirt with me . We joined others on the dance floor and after few minutes I found her frozen on the dance floor staring at me. ''Something wrong?'' I asked. She stood frozen and then whispered, ''Let's go back home.''

''Why?''

''I am not comfortable.'' She said squirming. I looked around and found a group staring and laughing at us. ''Who are they?''

''Doesn't matter, let's go.''

But it mattered to be. I had discussed with Shikha about throwing some situation at Resh and Shikha had told me about a group who loved pulling Resh down. One of them was her ex colleague and hated Resh for being a performer. She was aware of Resh's broken engagement and enjoyed tormenting her. For past one year they have crossed the paths a little more and the group left no chance to hurt her or one like her. I recalled the incident during the fresher party where a group of boys called her lesbian for dancing with Neha. She ignored all and answered them boldly and now I wanted her to do the same. ''Yash, let's go'' She took a step pulling me. I stayed at my place and pulled her closer, locking my arms around her waist, and started grooving slowly with the music. ''Did I mention that you look good to eat right now.''

She blinked and then smiled, ''You sure, because I don't want you lying to me to make me happy.'' I Stopped a second, ''have I ever lied to you?'' She shook her head lowering her eyes. I am seriously loving this feminine side of her. Holding her close, we started moving again with the music. Someone whistled and then hooted, Resh stiffened. Placing my lips on her ear I calmed her, ''Ignore or answer. I don't remember the Resh taking shit.'' She lifted her face a bit rubbing her cheek on mine and then pecked the corner of my lips rather slowly and intimately. A girl passed us murmuring, ''Yuck!!''

I knew it was intentional. Resh looked at me and I gave a single nod. With lightning speed Resh moved, grabbed the girl and kissed her lips. ''That's what called yuck. You taste yuck. Get it.'' I applauded her so did some of her friends. The girl's face turned beet root. Resh stood unaffected smiling and waving at everyone, as if she just one a beauty pageant. The group left immediately and we all broke into laughter. We danced forgetting everything and everyone. It was just her in my arms and the roaring sea.

Resh suddenly stopped dragging me away from the group. She pushed me leave our shoes on the sand, dragging me to the waves. She pulled me closer intertwining our hands together. ''Someone looks happy.'' I commented staring at her beautiful smile.

''I am. I felt something in me being liberated. Thanks Yash.'' She leaned further, pressing her lips on to my cheek. I pulled my hands for hers wrapping them around her, ''You don't have to thank me, I am your friend. I will always be there.''

She stayed plastered to my body staring up into my eyes, ''Are we just friends?''

''I am okay with whatever you want to call it Resh. But I am in love with you.''

She looked down and then fiddled with my shirt, ''So, you won't stop me from doing something I want to.'' I gave her my affirmation with a nod. She went on the toes, brushing her lips slightly over mine. Our breathing turned laboured, but I refrained myself from reacting. I wanted her to understand her liking and feelings for me. She crooked her head placing her lips on mine. Her tongue traced my lower lip and I parted them for her. She smiled against them deepening the kiss, her hands wrapped around my neck. We kissed till our lungs were out of air. She watched with a smile on her face, ''I don't doubt your love, but I can't commit love right now.'' A part of my heart broke. She moved her fingers into my hairs, ''But I am ready to take a chance. I want to be yours Yash, will you be mine?'' Her simple yet honest proposal stole my heart. She was scared, and I understood her fear. It had been a part of my life too. I am glad she took the first step and I will help her in taking the rest. Pulling her closer , I lifted her off the earth twirling her around. ''Let's go home.'' She said smiling down at me.

''Fine, lets inform Shikha.''

''Yash, she isn't a kid and she knows her way to home. Let her find herself a guy and let me enjoy with mine.'' She scolded me with a pout, making me chuckle. Linking our arms, she happily dragged me towards the exit. I gave a glance to Shikha, who gave me a thumb up. We drove back home with she signing along with the songs playing on the radio. She was happy very happy and that made me smile. We moved in and I switched on the lights, she kept dancing around happily. ''Oh Yash, I feel like flying.''

Gathering her in my arms I caressed her face, ''then do it, I will join you too.'' Her eyes turned wet. She leaned and placed her forehead against mine, ''What if my parents refuse? I am sacred.''

''Consider the approval done Resh. You said yes, now nothing and no one will come between us.'' She hugged me tight. I know , she is still unsure, but I am not. I am prepared.

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Cover by my sweet little bunny SvShri

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