"Things change.
And friends leave.
Life doesn't stop
for anybody."

~~Stephen Chbosky
The Perks of Being
A Wallflower

****************

~~Anika~~

"You still haven't told your sisters?!" my manager, Jaime, whisper-yelled beside me in surprise. "And they haven't suspected anything? I thought twins were supposed to be connected or whatever."

The washcloth was cool and damp as I gripped it in my hand, doing my best to keep my face blank while I wiped down the booth in front of me. I knew Jaime meant well, and he hadn't intended to sound like he was judging me, but it was a sensitive subject. If I'd been able to think of some other story I would have, but the truth was my best option, at least for this situation. 

"No, I haven't," I finally sighed, moving on to the next empty table. "They live hundreds of miles from Juilliard, so it's not like they would have come for a visit or anything. Besides, it isn't something I'm proud of, Jaime."

"Oh, right," he agreed sheepishly, continuing to follow me as if he were a busboy instead of the manager. "But… are you going to tell them? About… anything you've been doing since you've been gone?"

I bit my lip and mulled the questions over in my head. When I moved out seven months ago, my sisters had waved goodbye as I made my way to Juilliard with my childhood best friend. It had been my dream, go to Juilliard and become a world renowned dancer or work for a prestigious company. I had sacrificed Thanksgiving and Christmas with them because I was so convinced that my dream was within reach. However, I had been severely mistaken.

"I could tell them about the diner… I think," I mused a few minutes later, my voice as uncertain as my mind. "I just don't think I can tell them the rest… not yet."

Jaime nodded and readjusted the plastic tub propped on his hip that was quickly filling with dirty dishes. "You technically wouldn't be lying if you told them you were dancing almost every night."

I cringed. "There's no way I could do that."

"Do you really think they'd be upset?" Jaime asked with concern.

"No, they aren't like that." I paused on the last table and looked over at him with a small smile playing on my lips. "They would support me no matter what I did."

It was true. My big sister, Aurora, or Rory, was the only parent my twin, Andi, and I had known since our parents were killed six years ago. The three of us were as close as anyone could possibly be, but even I knew we all had our secrets. Some were just darker than others. Nothing, and I meant nothing, would make them stop loving me, or support me any less. Regardless, I couldn't admit that I had failed.

"My brother would shit a brick if I told him I was moonlighting as a stripper," Jaime commented with a laugh but choked it down when he caught the glare I shot him. He cleared his throat nervously. "I mean, it would be a surprise, is all."

I didn't bother with a reply, quickly finishing the last empty table and abandoning an apologetic Jaime at the counter. Moving about the mildly crowded space, weaving in and out of tables to refill drinks or take new orders, I couldn't shake the odd feeling nagging at my mind. It was as if I was being watched, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling uneasily as I forced a smile. When I got the chance, I glanced around the diner but couldn't see anyone paying direct attention to me.

"These tables won't wait themselves, you know!" called out a snooty voice from across the room.

Turning my head, I scowled at Natasha, the other waitress for the night. For whatever reason, the busty young blonde had never been my biggest fan despite my best efforts. After the first month of working at the diner, I had given up and returned her disrespect but only away from the eyes and ears of our customers. I bit my tongue to keep from damaging my tips, but there were quite a few choice words I had in mind. 

Taking a deep breath, I proceeded to a corner booth that had just been taken by a middle aged man with salt and pepper hair. I didn't know his name, but he came to the diner every day and always sat in the same booth. He never said a word, other than to order a single black coffee, but he would spend hours typing away on the laptop that seemed to be glued to his hands. If I was honest, the man made me uncomfortable for some unknown reason, but he always left a big tip and never hassled me like half of the male customers that I usually dealt with.

As I poured his mug full of the dark, steaming liquid, I was met with a pair of dull, brown orbs. This man’s eyes had none of the golden hues or warmth that Jaime’s held, but a chilling almost lifeless factor that sent a shiver down my spine. As always, the feeling of unease crept into my mind and I had to focus on walking calmly away instead of giving into my instincts and fleeing. I had no idea who this man was, and he had never done anything negative to cause such a reaction, but part of me could tell he was dangerous.

“How do you put up with - hey, are you okay?” Jaime asked, cutting his first question off as I joined him at the counter. “You look a little pale, Nik.”

“I’m - I’m okay,” I  answered shakily, grabbing my bottle of water from the shelf under the register. “Just ready to get out of here.”

Jaime squinted his eyes at me. “Do you have a shift tonight?”

He didn’t have to elaborate for me to understand his meaning. Taking a deep drink from my bottle, I nodded. 

“Yeah, but I go in later tonight,” I replied, thankful for the subject change even though this one wasn't my favorite. “Janine is pissed because I’m taking a week off and the owner won’t fire me for it. So, she’s ‘punishing’ me.”

Jaime snorted and nudged me playfully with his elbow. My skin burned from the contact and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from reacting. Lucky for me, he didn’t seem to notice as he went back to sorting the receipts.

“Why don’t you cut out early?” he offered without looking up. “Go home and rest a bit before you take the stage.”

“I can’t do that,” I refused with a shake of my head. “I can’t leave you at Natasha’s mercy, plus I need the money.”

“I’ll make sure it’s on your check,” Jaime promised, tilting his head towards me as his gaze searched my face. “Just come say ‘bye’ before you leave tomorrow.”

My face felt warm and I realized how close we had somehow become. Suddenly more than willing to accept his offer, I straightened my back and gave him a stiff nod.

“Yeah, okay,” I said a bit too quickly, and I didn’t miss the flash of disappointment in Jaime’s eyes. “If you’re sure, then I’ll see you in the morning?”

“You bet.”

Jaime went back to the slips of paper in his hands, and I felt the wall slide back into place between us. Sighing, I clocked out and began the walk home. I couldn’t help but feel bad for how I had reacted, especially since I knew that Jaime was a really nice guy, but something held me back. We had been working together for around three months and during that time we had become close friends, but it wasn’t like that. He was a few years older than me, sweet and attractive, however, no matter how many little moments we randomly shared, there was something missing. Maybe a trip home and some time away would clear my head a little.

●●●●

Time went by too quickly and before I knew it, it was ten minutes until my shift at the club. Dressed in a tiny black lace bra and panty set, six inch chunky heels, and my blonde hair cascading down my back, I was just as uncomfortable as I always was. It hadn’t been my first choice but dancing was in my DNA and it had been impossible for me to turn the opportunity down. I had never gotten entirely naked, but I wasn’t convinced that tiny underwear could count as clothing.

The dressing room smelled of hair spray, nail glue, and various fruit scents that all melded together to form something that nearly made my head spin. It was the same as always, but it wasn't a smell I would ever fully get used to. Chatter filled the room, laughter and playful catcalls as the other women relaxed or primped for work. I checked my makeup in my vanity mirror one last time before digging through my purse.

The other women barely acknowledged my presence, which was alright with me, but every night I realized how alone I really was. After two months, I barely knew any of them, their real names still a mystery and they didn't seem any more interested in me than I was in them. Sighing for what felt like the millionth time in one day, I tapped my freshly painted nails across the screen of my phone.

"Bambi! Put your phone down and get ready!" 

I paused what I was doing and looked at Janine standing in the doorway of the dressing room. Her fake red hair was teased to a ridiculous level and reminded me of someone from an eighties movie. The heavy makeup didn't do anything to change my mind on that opinion either. When I didn't make a move to obey her, she crossed her arms and scowled.

"Just because you're getting out of work for a while, doesn't mean you can fuck off your time when you are here," she informed me in a huff. "I've got paying customers out there, and vacation or not, you will perform as expected."

“Calm your panties, Janine,” I scowled, scrolling down the webpage on my phone to get to the spot I was looking for. “I’m almost done and then I’ll be out there. I’ve still got three minutes anyway.”

“Don’t get a tone with me, Bambi,” she replied, sneering my name. “I could have you out of here with the snap of my fingers.”

I smiled to myself when I clicked the confirm button for my train ticket, but quickly wiped it away as I slid my phone back into my purse. Standing, I gave the older woman a flat look because we both knew she was full of shit. Janine scowled and stomped out of the room, ignoring the giggles that followed in her wake.

“We’ll miss you, Bambi,” a girl I knew as Angel called out as I made my way to the door.

“Yeah, who else will be able to piss off Janine for us?” another girl, Candi, added with a laugh.

I smiled despite the nerves in my belly as I walked out of the room and out onto the busy club floor. We may not know each other well, but at least I knew we all had one thing in common; our dislike of Janine. My ears were assaulted by whistles and the sound of drunk men, all happy thoughts dissolving to the back of my mind. Sighing again, I pasted on my fake smile and began to count down the minutes until I was on the train home. It was going to be a long night.

●●●●

The train car rumbled gently beneath me as I watched the scenery pass by, the car relatively quiet and empty for the weekend starting off Spring Break. I had only been gone for an hour and my phone had already vibrated with several texts from Jaime that were either funny memes or something that happened at the diner. Each time, I couldn’t help but smile.

He hadn’t been thrilled about my leaving, and I think he was convinced that I wouldn’t come back. It wasn’t a completely unreasonable concern, although I couldn’t imagine myself not coming back. Going home took more effort than I would ever admit, but mostly because I knew that darkness and secrets were waiting for me, even if no one brought them up.

As happy as my sisters and I had been together, it hadn’t been that simple. Rory had always done her best to give Andi and I normal lives, to support us in anything we ever wanted to do with ourselves or our lives. However, before leaving home in August, things had begun to spiral in the background, things I was still unsure of and wasn’t sure I even wanted to know. 

I had my suspicions about Rory’s life and the things she was involved in but knowing or not knowing wouldn’t change my opinion of her. She was the strongest person I knew, but I had a feeling that things had changed since I had left home. The question I still hadn’t been able to answer for myself was whether I was ready to learn the truth or keep living in ignorance. I mean, it wasn’t as if I was dying to expose my own secrets which meant I wasn’t inclined to force anyone else to divulge theirs.

Leaning my head against the cool glass of the window, I tried to imagine the things that had happened while I was gone. I had talked to Andi quite often since leaving home, and each call I could tell that she was changing, blossoming into a beautiful rare flower. She had been through so much, traumatized by the attack on our home that night six years ago. For a long time, I was scared she would never be able to open herself up to happiness, but she had proved me wrong and I couldn’t be happier for her. Although, I was dying to know the details of the relationship she had only recently solidified.

My phone vibrated in my hand, pulling me out of my head and back into reality. Looking down at the screen, a picture of my older sister filled the screen with an incoming call. Smiling, I put the device to my ear.

“Hey, I’m on the train,” I told her in a way of greeting.

“Yay, so you’re really coming?” Rory chirped with excitement.

I laughed. “Yes, I’m definitely coming. It’ll still be a while before I actually make it there. Is someone going to be able to pick me up or do I need to take a cab?”

It had been a last minute decision to come home, but too often lately I had been struck with that same uneasy sensation and I had to get away. I missed my sisters and wanted to see how they were doing, to witness their happiness in person. They had been through so much and deserved it. Besides, someone needed to put the fear of God into the men they had chosen to be with.

"Late tonight, right?" Rory asked.

"Yeah, around eleven or midnight I think."

"I've got to work late tonight, and there is a meeting afterwards, and I never know how late those will run, but I'll check with Andi and see if her or one of the guys can pick you up," she said, and I could practically hear her mind kicking into gear. "I'll take off early if I need to."

"No, that's okay," I quickly refused, trying to hide my growing disappointment. "If they've got plans or whatever, I can get a cab or an Uber or something. I don't want anyone to go out of their way just for me.

"Don't be an idiot, Nik." Rory admonished lightly. "Why didn't Lacey come with you?"

"Oh, she was busy," I lied although it wasn't entirely untrue. "She went out of town with a guy she met at school."

"Oh, how nice for her." My sister didn't bother to hide her lack of enthusiasm. "That girl is something else."

I hummed in agreement but not for the same reason. Lacey and I had been friends for years but December had changed that. I wasn't sure we would ever speak or see each other again after what happened.

"I'll see what's up and I'll let you know." I heard a male voice speak in the background to which Rory replied quietly as if she had covered the phone. "Anyway, have a safe trip and I'll see you tonight. Love you!"

"Okay, love you, too."

After I hung up, I couldn't stop the tears that formed and slid down my cheeks. Rory and Andi were the only people I had left in the world but even they had lives of their own. There was nothing left for me in the city I grew up in and the school that held my dreams had discarded me like a soiled rag. Nothing was turning out the way I had hoped or thought it would, and what was worse was that there seemed to be nothing I could do to change it.

Lacey, a girl who had been my best friend as long as I could remember, had turned her back and was basically a stranger to me, and my sisters had no place in their lives for me. My dream had crumbled into dust before my eyes and I was nothing more than a waitress who doubled as an exotic dancer at night. Everything had fallen apart so quickly and I didn't even recognize myself anymore.

My phone once again notified me of an incoming message and I wiped my eyes to clear my blurry vision. Squinting through the lingering haze, I read the words with confusion.

Rory: A friend of mine is going to pick you up. His name is Mason and don't worry, he's nice.

Rory didn't have a large social circle, not since our parents' deaths anyway. The people she did allow into her life and ours were rare, not to mention I thought I had met everyone she trusted around Andi and I. But this guy, whoever he was, I had never heard his name even hinted at before. So why, or how, did she trust him enough to send him to get me?

Who the hell is Mason?