ALESSIA'S POV

Uncertainty was never a feeling Alessia liked budding in her chest. It wasn't great when she and her mother had skidded off to the other side of the world for three years. It wasn't great when she stayed up late at night thinking of the possibility of her father returning and what would happen when he did. And she most certainly didn't like the uncertainty that had trailed its way into the deepest parts of her heart for the past two years since Nick had ended things with Makayla on account of his feelings for her. The rest after that had been kind of a big blur.

The memories of all the times she had shared with him that once made her stupid-and clearly at lack of good decision making heart- yelp with joy at the remembrance of just how close they had really come to to be. So why the doubt constantly filling her chest?

She had absolutely no idea. Which was why she was hell-bent on avoiding him for the rest of senior year and hopefully, every other time after that. Willed herself not to think of how his icy blue eyes looked into her deep brown ones with the utmost admiration for this girl whom she had to admit was punishing herself by keeping away from him.

To his credit, though, she wondered just how long it was before he started pestering her like he did the first time she went AWOL on him. At the time, she was only on her way to being fourteen on a beach trip with her elder sister, Alisha and the man who had managed to capture all the Brown women's hearts simply by loving her sister with the whole of his heart. So much so that it left no room for uncertainty, clear as day. Nick had tagged along on that trip solely because he was desperate to know why I had made it my fourteen year old life mission to run and avoid him as best as I could. The memory replayed like it had just happened a few hours ago instead of two years ago over a drunk game of seventy confessions in a beach house occupied by five high school seniors and two freshmen.

Alisha had just passed the bottle of beer to Nick. Taking a swig, he had his gaze set on her. Like he was daring her to lie to him. Alessia, taking in some liquid courage of her own, looked him dead in the eye and walked out of the room, willing him to follow her.

"Im scared, Nick. Im scared of how much I like you and how much I like the feeling of having you around. Im even more scared by the speed at which you dropped Makayla for me. It makes me wonder if this is even worth it? You could drop me the moment you someone else who makes you feel better than I do. Someone less of a hassle for -" Her words had been cut short by the pair of lips on hers, kissing her into oblivion. As if he was trying to see if he put a lot more in, he would erase her doubt, but little did he know, they were deeply rooted in her even before they had ever met. Which was why she pulled away from him, but the words caught in her throat with the intensity of how he looked at her.

Alessia felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest. This hurt her - more than anything had in a very long time - and that was saying something because Alessia had been hurt a lot. By life, by family, by all the things she had trusted in and did- stupidly if she should add.

As she backed away from him, she could almost hear every piece of her heart shatter anew. Maybe this would hurt, but the plight of her uncertainty towards what her heart felt for Nick. She would like to risk it-would love to. If not for the fact that she was all too aware that all things came to an end. Her parents did, how could She be sure that their story- if it were to ever begin, would be any different.She couldn't stand to look at him knowing she was the cause of the pain she could see so clearly on his face. The pain in his eyes-It was almost too much for her to bear. Almost. Alessia was fairly certain that one would thank her for this someday in the near or far future. He would thank her for this someday when their paths crossed in a grocery store, and he reached for the oranges while she reached for the apples. He'd thank her for breaking his heart. For breaking both their hearts. while she's not entirely sure how all this would play out in the near to far future, at least for now, Alessia was fairly certain she was doing both herself and Nicholas Hope a favour which he would come to appreciate with time. She was too damaged, too broken.

"Alessia, listen to me," Her said as he reached out his hand, and she took another step back. "Please don't go, Alessia-just give me a chance to -" To do what?
To love her?
To have her?
To hold her?
To give her the world? Or maybe just a glimpse of what her sister had found with Jayden?
He held his hand out to her. God, it was almost too tempting to just give in. What if she just -

Alessia tried to speak. The stupid words wouldn't come out her agape mouth. She wanted to tell him. Everything she was feeling. All the reasons she knew they would never work out. All the reasons she was scared to fall- she was sure he wouldn't catch her or worse- she'd fall alone. With a final shake of her head, she steeled herself, took a step forward.

"I like you, Alessia. A lot. I'd love if you would let me show you."