As I re-issued books, I couldn't help but think about what Sumi had asked about whether I knew his history. If it were someone in back in Kerala, I'd know his zodiac sign by now and probably even have a mutual friend but this was killing me and I hated being on the blind side of things.

Knowing someone's family and how they grew up was something I always liked to indulge in. It had nothing to do with discrimination, it was simply the wonder I found in the rich culture of my homeland but I guess it's different here.

Another main reason would be that it was like this guide book which could help me get to know someone better. It's not something that you do intentionally, it's sort of how you're brought up and to an extent, it's wise to know such things.

It's these little things that you grow up with and you learn how to treat people with respect, how to respect their beliefs and culture which in the end makes you a decent human being. It's also fascinating how some people perceive their culture and it makes you a scholar every day.

I wanted to know more about Ethan because I had to know if I had a shot even though there was no defined target yet. Did he come from a rich family? Was his family educated? Or was he involved in crime and in poverty? I had to know.

'Shoot', said Ethan taking me off guard that the card in my hand flew into the book he was reading.

'What?', I asked.

'You look perplexed. It's not very flattering when you frown', he said returning the card and I rolled my eyes at him.

A low key question popped up and I decided to go with it.

'I was wondering why you were in Canada when you could be in London', I said.

'That was what disturbed you?', he asked confused.

'Well, I didn't want to ask so I kept making up answers that seemed to fit', I shrugged.

'Amuse me', he chuckled.

'Hahaha. No', I said sternly and went back to my work.

'It's not really worth talking about, I just wanted a change and my uncle happened to live here so here I am', he said with a shrug.

'Sounds too simple to be true', I sighed and he grinned.

'What about you?', he asked.

'I'm gonna put a limit on questions about me', I said.

'You're the book, I'm simply the reader', he smiled.

'Well, that's unpublished information. You'll have to wait', I smiled back.

'That's not fair', he frowned.

'Awh did I hurt you?', I cooed.

'Come on Omi, it's just one simple answer. Think of it as payment for me helping you today', he smiled.

'And here I thought thinking you were such a gentleman', I said and he shrugged.

'Ask away', I sighed and leaned back into the chair.

'You said that all the men you've chosen have been mistakes. I want to hear those stories', he said simply and I internally groaned.

'You really know how to torture me'

'I'm simply a reader trying to understand the character', he said with a show of hands.

'Well there's not much to talk about, they were mistakes', I shrugged and felt my insides twist.

'You dated them?', he asked and I laughed.

'No. Thank God I didn't', I said and he looked at me curiously.

'Were they that horrible?', he asked.

'Oh no, well. Let's just say they weren't what I needed', I explained quickly.

'One was when I was fifteen and the other when I was twenty one', I started and opened the door to a past I wasn't fond of.

'I met the first guy in school. He seemed sweet and kind, he studied well and everyone liked him. I thought I loved him but it was a mere school girl's crush over a boy who gave her attention which she had never received ', I said and smiled as I remembered how it felt.

'I guess you miss it', he said and I laughed.

'No, it's just that it was during a time when I thought no one could possibly like me. I'd been bullied in middle school about the way I looked and there was a boy who told me that I was worth loving'. I stopped to shake my head at my old naive self and silently thanked heaven for giving me wisdom in the form of my friends to let him go.

'You were bullied?', asked Ethan.

'Let's stick to one topic', I said and he obliged with a smile.

'One of my friends then told me that he already had a girlfriend and that he was just playing with me. Of course, we weren't dating or even in a proper relationship, we just knew we liked each other. When I heard I asked and he said that he'd leave her for me and I immediately knew that this was wrong. I couldn't see the red lights because I saw through rose-colored glasses whenever I was with him that everything looked real', I said.

'Do you talk to him now?', he asked.

'I tried. I wanted to set things right but it was a mistake. He got a new girlfriend and even after three years of dating her, he said that he loved me and that he'd leave her. I hated him so much when I realized he was simply manipulating me by making me feel sorry for him and tricking me into wanting to be friends. He was never in his right mind when he talked to me and I was disgusted by it', I said.

'What do you mean right mind?', he asked.

'He would either be drunk or sky-high when he talked and there's nothing more that I hate than listening to someone who's not conscious. It's like they have to be out of their minds in order to talk to me as if they can't be conscious as if that tortures them as if it's so hard to open up to me without being high. I find it insulting', I fumed.

'I feel like you've been in that situation more than once', he said with a soft smile.

'Karthick used to call me drunk or high sometimes. I was so scared when I first heard him but then I realized that it was the only way he could be free and just say what he wanted to because there was so much drama happening in college. He couldn't talk to me in class without causing a commotion and this was the only way. I hated it but I tolerated it only because it was him. I won't do it for anyone else', I said.

'Siddharth, my classmate told me that I should see it as a compliment that even in their dazed minds, they think of me and want to talk away their troubles', I scoffed bitterly.

'I don't think that's an excuse to make someone uncomfortable', he said with a frown and I nodded.

'Not a lot of people understand that some people are genuinely afraid of being near drunk people. They immediately call me out as a prude or being stuck up that I just avoid the topic entirely. But how am I supposed to stay quiet when I see the people I care about willingly poison themselves in the name of looking cool? In the name of it being a trend?', I asked and didn't even realize that my hands were shaking until Ethan placed his over mine.

'What happened that made you so afraid or so repulsed by this?', he asked and I gulped.

'My parents are doctors, they deal with alcohol and substance abuse mostly. Ever since I was a child, I've seen and heard patients come in with terrifying stories of abuse. I've seen a drunk man hit his wife in front of my Dad. I've seen a mother cry and beat her chest over her son who sat near her stoned out of his mind. I've witnessed too many families crumble from this. I've seen a family member die from this. Do I need a reason to be afraid or repulsed?', I asked and stopped myself.

'I've strayed off-topic', I laughed.

'No, it's fine. It was clearly something that bothered you, it's okay to let it out', he assured and slowly let go of my hand that I almost frowned from the loss of warmth.

'Okay, where was I? Ah yes, crush number two was when I was in college. It happened after Karthick died. When I met him I just knew that I wanted to know him and I took the initiative to befriend him. He was kind and funny', I smiled.

'But?', he asked.

'He was unable to understand my messed up brain. He'd keep telling me that it was nothing and that he didn't believe that I was depressed and that I could easily get over it. He was the complete opposite of everything I was. He had strong opinions about things which sometimes made him blind and it was easy to offend him', I said shaking my head.

'So it was a matter of not working together', he said and I nodded.

'And you never dated him as well?', he asked.

'Same as ever. Just a crush', I sighed.

'So Peter was the only person you took a chance on?', he asked.

'He was worth it. If it weren't for our backgrounds and different futures I'd probably still be after him like a fool', I smiled.

'Did you ever feel lonely?', he asked.

'Oh no. I had friends and the culture over there is different so it's totally normal to be single, it's not like it could destroy you. When I think about it now, I'm glad I never dated them because I was never ready for it. Even in my twenties. I was hungover Karthick's death and I needed someone to make me feel alive that it killed me when I realized that I had almost replaced him. I don't want to be in a relationship because I need to, I want to love someone because I want to- because I want to be with them'.

'You've clearly had some dramatic life lessons', he said with a small smirk.

'Oh for someone who hasn't properly dated anyone, I've sure been the star for so many ruined relationships', I grinned and watched as his face twisted with confusion.

'I don't know how, but I always end up being the girl who caused someone to break up with the other', I scowled.

'You did?' he asked stunned.

'NO! It was blown out of proportion every single time. The girlfriend would catch me talking to their boyfriend and it was always the guy who'd talk to me first. I wouldn't even be interested in any of them and suddenly it's my fault that they broke up! I remember this one time when a guy asked if he could borrow my notes and his girlfriend saw us and demanded to know what I had given him', I said cringing at the memory.

'That's messed up', he said.

'Yeah well it happened in college three times and I swear it gets annoying', I sighed.

'What else?', he asked and I looked at him.

'What else have you been through?', he asked.

'You clearly are enjoying my misery', I frowned but he merely laughed.

'Well, I'm the girl who helps the boy to get over the one who broke his heart. Most of the time I end up becoming his 'fake' girlfriend and I allow it because I feel sorry for them I'm also the girl everyone dials when there drunk because it's only when they're out of their minds do they realize I'm a good person to talk to. I'm also the girl approached by other abandoned girls who need an ear to listen and a heart to empathize with until they feel better and leave', I sighed.

I didn't know why I was telling him this. I'd never told anyone about this ever before. Maybe I'm just relieved to be away from it and I can finally get it out of my system.

'You're everyone's fairy godmother-', he said and I shrugged with a forced laugh.

'Yet no one's Cinderella', he finished and I pursed my lips.

'I can make my own glass slippers', I smiled confidently and he chuckled.

'I wouldn't expect anything less of you, Salome but promise me this', he said and I looked at him.

'Do not ever let anyone tell you that your sadness is just a passerby and that it's all in your head and two most importantly, never again sell yourself short to anyone. I don't care if their hearts have been shredded and stamped on, you're worth more than being a fake girlfriend or some object to make someone jealous. Promise me that you'll be the girl who will make people scared and think twice before they lose you', he said without breaking eye contact and I felt my breath hitch.

'You're worth more than you know, Omi and someday, I hope you'll see it'.

'You've exceeded your limit of reading unpublished chapters', I said shaking my head.

'Sue me', he grinned.

'Oh I just might and you better be prepared to write down a huge check', I said smugly and he chuckled.