ღ Finding Cinderella-23 ღ

-Tristan-

I got that old feeling again—that old feeling I'd been trying to forget.

I was happy that I'd found her, but I also felt nervous about the whole thing. Maybe it was because she meant more to me than any other person. She was my personal drug, and after all this time, I was still highly addicted.

Now here I was, driving all around the city just to find her. I had been to all the places where she would possibly be, but I had no luck. Lacey and I had tried contacting her several times, but there was no answer. It was making us sick with worry.

The rush of wind hit my windshield as I sped onto the highway. My foot pressed hard on the accelerator as I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. It was already nighttime, and the bright neon and electronic billboards lit up the city. It was unlikely that Kylie would be going home this late.

Where was she?

-Kylie-

Erik said that this was a date, but I didn't want to classify it as one. Not because it sucked—well, sort of—but because I'd been keeping in mind that we were just friends. Perhaps everything would have gone better if it hadn't been for my spaz attacks a while ago.

I had been so awkward and goofy initially that I probably had messed everything up. I'd tripped on the road several times, blown the soda out of my nose, accidentally poured mustard on my shirt and made myself look like a freaking five-year-old, made the lamest puns in history, and realized that my fly had been open for a couple of hours.

I would definitely not consider this a date because if I did, this would be the most awkward one in the universe.

Well, at least, the video game arcade at the mall had been great.

Why couldn't I act like a normal person, for crying out loud?

At this point, Erik must've been totally freaked out by me since he kept taking calls as if he was all, "Dude, get me out of here," and the thought of it made me want to push myself in front of a bus.

A few minutes later, Erik jogged back to the bench where I sat. "Sorry if I've been getting too many calls," he said with an apologetic smile. "My friend Monique is just so stubborn."

Upon hearing the name, I gulped down an icy chunk of milkshake that I'd been slurping and coughed. "Monique? Mayfield?" I managed to say. "You know each other?"

Okay, that was a dumb question. Everyone at school knew her.

"Yeah. Actually, we've known each other since middle school, and she's in some of my classes this year," he answered. "And the reason she's been calling me is that she's trying to compare her physics assignment with mine. It's something she always does."

"I see. You must be wicked smart in physics, then."

"I'll take that as a compliment," he said with a chuckle.

For a little while, we sat in silence. I continued to sip the rest of my milkshake, making my loud slurping sound our background music, and watched a few people taking a night stroll in the park.

Erik cleared his throat, and I turned my head to him.

"So, uh, did you have fun?" he asked.

"Y-yeah!" I was still feeling panicky being alone with him.

Erik beamed as relief washed over his face. Had he also been nervous this whole time? I hadn't thought of that. "Great. Let's do this again next time if you want, but somewhere much better, of course."

My heart started to bang against my ribcage. Should I say yes or no? I didn't want to be mean to him, but at the same time, I didn't want to be hopeful. It confused me. I mean, I liked him as a friend now, and I had really liked him ages ago, but I could still remember the time when he hadn't acknowledged what I'd felt for him. I was still feeling a bit of a sting from the "ouch" factor of someone not being interested in me.

It had become a tiresome cycle of me getting my hopes up and then being ultimately crushed in the end.

Not knowing the right thing to say in return, I only smiled.

"Oh yeah, I have something for you," he said.

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he gestured for me to turn around. I did and squeezed my eyes shut when I felt hands and warm breath brushing the nape of my neck.

"There."

I opened my eyes and looked down. It was a silver and blue necklace. Its crystals formed a perfect circle, glowing as the light of the lamppost bounced on them.

I turned back to him, my mouth hanging open.

"Do you like it?" asked Erik.

"Are you kidding me?" My spaz mode was reactivated. "Of course! This is the prettiest thing I've seen today. Holy shit, who knew I'd ever wear this kind of jewelry? Wait, wait, wait. This can't be for me, right?"

He laughed. "It's for you. And it looks great on you."

"You're really kidding me."

"Whether you believe me or not, it suits you. The blue brings out the color of your eyes."

Okay, that was sweet. I was melting in my sneakers.

"You know what, Kylie? I think dresses would certainly flatter you. Out of all the other girls at the Ball, you were the one that stood out. Why don't you try wearing a dress again for a change?"

My smile dwindled. I actually had girly clothes lying in the deepest part of my closet, the kind that showed off the shoulders and stuff, but they made me feel uncomfortable.

I shook my head to oppose his idea. "Sorry, I just don't find them comfortable, but thanks if you think they'd flatter me." I raised my eyes to him. His eyes were gorgeous, like giant blue meatballs. "And thanks for this, too," I added, grasping the necklace. "It's nice of you to buy such an expensive gift for me. I don't know what I did to deserve this."

"I didn't buy it. It's my mom's. Her favorite out of all her possessions. She gave it to me before..." He paused. "Before she and Dad got divorced."

My eyes widened. I couldn't believe I was holding a precious memory of his mother. That got me more anxious since I had a tendency to lose things easily, but I had to do my best to keep the necklace safe.

"She told me that during a first date," Erik continued, "I should give it to the girl I"—he locked his gaze on mine—"to the girl I like."

I dropped the milkshake cup onto my lap as my stomach twisted into knots.

"Kylie?"

No. Oh hell no. I hadn't seen that coming. The feelings that were supposed to be long gone were starting to come back, and it should not be happening.

Breaking eye contact, I jumped off the bench and blurted out, "Whoa, guess what? I suddenly have a ton of motivation to clean the stove in our house tonight!"

Erik rubbed the back of his neck. "That's, uh... I don't know what to say to that."

My face was flaming red at this point. God, how I wished there was an undo button in real life.

"So, um, can we go home now? Besides, I forgot my phone in my bedroom so I guess my family must be wondering where I am," I stumbled out. I just had to rehearse mentally what to say when I got home.

"But..." He sighed. "Fine. Let's go."

Before I knew it, Erik and I were speeding through traffic on his big motorbike. My guts stirred at every roar of the engine. I had my arms around his hips, and it was driving me insane, though our position wasn't the only thing making me crazy. It was his confession earlier, too. Was it even real? He could have been kidding, right? If he'd been serious, then it would've been the first time someone had confessed to me.

The whole idea of dating him was scaring the living daylights out of me. On top of that, something else was pulling me back. I couldn't explain what it was.

We reached my home before long. No light was visible through the windows of the house, and I assumed Mom and Lacey were already asleep. I let out a sigh of relief. All I had to do was to sneak in and pretend nothing had happened.

Erik switched off the engine, and I swung off the seat in a swift move. I took the black helmet off my head and handed it to him.

"Thanks for the ride," I said, breathless.

"Don't mention it," Erik said, taking his helmet off and brushing his hair. "At least you came home before midnight."

I snorted a laugh. "Huh, so much for being Cinderella in jeans and Converse."

"Kylie?" a familiar voice called.

I turned around and took a step back in shock when I saw Tristan approaching me. He looked exhausted and his hair was a mess. The bright silver moon shone on his ghostly white face. A cloud of smoke puffed out of his mouth as he exhaled.

"Tristan? What are you doing here?" I asked. How long had he been outside?

His eyes flicked to Erik, and I tensed, thinking he was going to pick up a fight again.

Erik cleared his throat, breaking the increasing tension in the atmosphere.

"I should go now," he said, placing his helmet back on his head. "It was a nice date, Kylie. I wish I could stay and talk to you for a bit, but it looks like someone's been waiting for you."

He started the engine, which generated a loud noise that echoed through the quiet neighborhood. He gave me a nod, saying, "See you at school. Have a good night," before taking off down the dark road. He hadn't even waited for my reply.

Taking a deep breath, I turned back to Tristan. His face was hard and unsmiling as he sucked in the cold air. He caught sight of the necklace dangling on my chest, and his eyebrows knitted.

"Are you and Erik going out?"

A block formed in my throat. "What's it got to do with you? Are we going to replay what went down this morning?"

"I don't want you to be with him, Kylie." His tone was sharp, demanding, with a touch of despair.

"What the hell, Tristan? Didn't you say you wouldn't care about me anymore? Why are you suddenly demanding what I should do?" I retorted, my blood starting to boil.

"I'm telling you this for your own good. Don't trust him."

"For my own good?" That made me laugh. "Since when have you been concerned with my 'own good', huh? You only care about your feelings this whole time!"

"No, I—"

"Don't screw with what people feel just because you can't figure out what's going on with your own messed-up head."

I walked past him to open the picket fence gate, and he hurriedly grabbed my wrist.

"This is the problem with you, Kylie. You don't let me finish what I'm saying."

Yanking my hand away, I bit back, "I'm already tired of listening to you, Tristan," and slammed the gate on him, shutting the latch. My chest began to tighten, and I could feel tears pooling behind my eyes. I gritted my teeth to keep my emotions restrained.

He hopped over the fence, making me roll my eyes. "Get lost already, goddammit!" I yelled.

"Are you afraid of facing the truth, Kylie? Erik is lying to you. Remember in ninth grade when you had braces and—"

"Shut up!"

"—he didn't even treat you the same way back then as he does right now? Haven't you noticed that? That guy is faking everything."

I opened my mouth, but I couldn't think of a good reply. My breathing was getting shorter every second, and all I could do was gasp. "Stop saying that..." I managed to croak out. "Erik is not... He's not—"

"Are you so desperate for his attention that you'd go so far as to make yourself the Queen of the Ball and lie to everyone about it?"

The hair on my skin stood up. Through my misty eyes, I looked at him in bewilderment as I tried to figure out how he had found out my secret.

"Since when did you become so needy and shallow?" Tristan growled before I could say anything back. His words immediately broke the barrier that had been keeping my anger and grief at bay throughout the day.

My hands turned to fists, nails digging into my palms.

"Really? Needy and shallow?" I tried to fake laughter, but my voice was cracking. "Says the guy who changes girlfriends like he changes clothes and who doesn't care about anything except his public image. A classic 'the pot calling the kettle black' scenario." A single tear escaped my eye, and I quickly wiped it away with my hand.

Tristan walked toward me, stretching out his hand as if to touch me, but I recoiled. His eyes were telling me that he was sorry, but I didn't buy it. I continued to stare at him, my own eyes burning with rage.

"How dare you accuse me of being desperate? I took over the position for my sister's sake. I didn't do it for Erik. I didn't do it for anyone else. Maybe you're the desperate one, Tristan. Desperate to look righteous that you start nitpicking and pointing fingers." I closed my eyes as I sucked in a shuddering breath. "Let's stop this. I'm—I'm tired. I'm tired of all of this."

"Kylie, I didn't mean—"

"Now you're trying to deny it? That is dumb, and I fucking hate you," I spat. "I wish I never met you, Hartford. Let's not talk—"

He pulled me by the wrist without hesitation, and I slammed against his chest. His arms encircled me, pulling me closer and making my face sink into his sweatshirt. For the time, I could feel and hear his erratic heartbeats. I couldn't breathe as my own heart was hammering just as strongly. Tears burned the edges of my eyes.

He buried his face in my hair and whispered, "I'm sorry, Kylie. I'm so sorry."

"Damn you!" I struggled to free myself, but I was too tired, physically and emotionally, to compete with his strength. "Let me go! I hate you! You are the worst!"

"Hate me all you want, I accept it. I deserve it for being an asshole. I've made so many mistakes that I know I can never take back."

I wished I could turn off my feelings and erase all my memories of him. "Tristan—"

"I'm so sorry for messing things up, and I know I won't be forgiven, but please, listen to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to say this to make you believe me, but I... I—"

With what was left of my might, I pushed him away and sent him lurching backward. Before a word could escape him, I said, "Don't go near me again. After all the things you put me through, I lost the ability to believe you."

"I said I'm sorry. I mean it, Kylie."

"I heard you. But I'm out of tolerance. You should've apologized a long time ago, Tristan." I looked at him dead in the eye. "You're too late now."

With that, I shut the door, leaving him frozen outside. Dragging my feet up to my bedroom, I planted my palms on my aching chest. Something was wrong with me. I shouldn't be feeling like this. Because of his embrace, I no longer knew what to think, what to do, and most of all, how I felt about him.

-Tristan-

The moment she slammed the door on my face, I felt everything around me collapsed. I didn't expect the night would end like this. The last thing I had ever wanted to do was make her cry, but shit, I just had.

It was my fault. I was such a fuck-up. I'd always wanted to care for her, but I kept doing the opposite, anyway. She was right. I was the worst.

How could I tell her I loved her? I was beginning to be terrified of making a move because she might say I was lying and being ridiculous and might shut me out of her life completely.

Shit.

I wasted all the time I had, and now that bastard was with her. But I didn't want everything to end like this. Maybe I needed luck to have her by my side once more.