"I love you, Midnight," she says, her lips twisted into her perfect smile. She's glowing like a sun omitting the brightest rays of sunshine.

I hold her hand tight, only reaching up to her knee, I look up into her eyes; soft, doe brown. "You'll never leave me?"

She bends down and kisses my hair; it was black then, not a single hair out of place; her work, of careful gentle brushing every morning. "Never." she whispers, placing a crown of daisies on my head. I giggle at the tickling sensation. I feel the grass underneath us, reaching almost to my knees with it's scratchy grass seeds.

"Why would I ever leave you?" she asks, weaving daisy stems together to create a crown for herself. "You're my everything, Midnight. You and your Dad, you're all I have."

She smiles again; those big white teeth, I never knew how much I missed that smile. She takes my hand again, and pulls me through the meadow, running together. Her hair flying through the wind.

She turns to me, her smile bigger than ever. Her big white teeth seem pointier; sharper; menacing. She opens wide, her voice crackly and deep. Her eyes glow red with anger.

"Why wouldn't I leave you? You weren't ever the daughter I wanted!"

I awake with a start; jolting out of my sleep by the menacing sound of my blaring alarm clock. 

I hear the faint snoring of Dad downstairs, this is the first time he's slept in ages. Usually his face is grey; smeared with black under his unblinking red eyes.

It's a cold day, and I open the window, the freezing cold wind blowing through the grey sky and into my room; swirling through the room. Defenseless, in my thin T-shirt, I shiver. I like it though, the cold; the ability to feel something. I've been so numb for so long that feeling anything will do.

I try, in vain to brush my unruly hair out of my face, and open the window wider. I scramble through it, as gracefully as a foal learning to walk.

I curl up on the roof, the rough grey tiles blisteringly cold beneath me and my thin pajama shorts. My body is pricked with tiny goosebumps,  my teeth banging together and shattering. This is my quiet spot. Up here, high, far away from prying eyes and judgmental stares.

Perhaps other parents would be worried if their teenage daughter was sitting on the roof, but my Dad wouldn't even know. Like he doesn't know how I do in school, or my favorite foods, or my friends or lack of. He barely even knows my name anymore.

I first started coming up here not long after Mom went. I'd be perched up here everyday, looking for her. Hoping one day I'd see her come back. I'd be the first to see her from my rooftop watch tower, with her honey-brown hair and big floppy straw hat. I'd picture her hauling her big maroon suitcase and a present for me. A present to say sorry. And I'd hug her so tight she wouldn't be able to breathe for the first few seconds; I'd forgive her instantly and all my anguish surrounding her would instantly subside. I'd be in her arms. I'd be warm. I'd be cared for. I'd be loved.

It'd be so easy just to jump off. To end my constant yearning for my mother that left me. I shake it off, I have things do to in life; like find a b****y queen bee.

I remember I still have school today, and just as gracefully crawl back into my room. I do one last panoramic check around the neighborhood. No woman with a straw hat and suitcase. At least I checked.

I haul on my clothes; dark black; heavy boots with thick laces. I apply a coat of black lipstick quickly and a smudged line of black eyeliner.

The school halls are empty and dark, clusters of girls whispering by lockers and turning to stare. Another normal day. I freeze at my locker. A memory clouds my mind.

Aster raises her eyebrow and stifles a giggle, high up on her shiny black pumps. Her skirt and tiny black top obviously defy school dress code, but no-one would ever dare touch her. She's surrounded by Kitty and Lila, both sporting matching pitiful glares. Fox is draped on Aster's elbow, his gaze distant; he's embarrassed.

Aster breaks away from her companions and leans against the locker next to mind; her deep eyes intense and immaculate eyebrows frowning. "Well, hello there, Wicked Witch of the West, don't you look a picture today?"

"Hey, back off," I growl, my teeth bared like an angry wolf.

Aster rolls her eyes, "No wonder your mother left you, you poor soul. But what are you gonna do, cast a spell on me?"

I push her to the ground, where she lands like a dead bug; limbs flailing in the air. 

"Psycho," Kitty and Lila whisper behind perfectly manicured hands.

"Why didn't authorities put you and your sicko Dad in an asylum?"

Her words echo through my mind as Kitty comes up to me. "Midnight, are you okay?" she rubs my shoulder, "You seem far-off today."

I shake off my anguish and smile. "It's the anniversary of my Mum leaving." I explain, avoiding eye contact by shoving school books into the shelves of my locker.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said "It's funny really, a lot of people have so much going on in their backgrounds, I-I never even knew about."

"She said she'd never leave," I say, in a robot-like trance. "She always kept her promises; but she broke that one."

"I'm sorry," Kitty says again, "Maybe we can track her down afterwards; you're a great detective,  Midnight!"

I shake my head, "I don't want to see her again. I don't want face her. Besides, we have Aster to focus on. What was she doing watching your Dad be murdered?"

"We don't know that," she says softly.

I think about Kitty; putting myself in her shoes. She watched her father suffer and die, blood oozing from a bullet wound. No-one killed my mother; but now everyday she must have to live with the fact someone killed him. Someone else took him away from her.

I guess we all have unwanted memories, but we all have to live with them.