her expensive deal

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I knew how much I was dying to hear those words from her but when she finally said it, I was rendered utterly helpless. Forcing the words that were clogging against my throat down, I reluctantly declined, "I'm sorry, angel. This turned out to be a deal I cannot fulfil." 

"Can you afford to lose this lawsuit, Mr Illiades?" Wren challenged. "From the surface, this could be dismissed as a petty lawsuit that the Suttons raised out of spite. But they knew that the loss would've got a significant impact on the Illiades because this is going to be at the cost of a business alliance underway. They're trying to waste your time, which your three major investors had no spare to play this game." 

"You seemed to know that situation very well," I commented.

"That's a given," she stated confidently. "I wouldn't make this call if I hadn't known the seriousness of this case. They're bound to get back at you when you convinced one of their investors over to your side." 

"Hmm," I hummed out a quiet laugh. 

"Aren't you a little happy too soon?" Wren questioned. "If I represent the Suttons, you're going to lose this fight." 

"Then, it's up to you to see if you're that determined to bring me down, my little songbird," I challenged with my usual calm tone, but my heart was beating into a riot within my chest. 

A pause of silence sat heavily between the two of us on the line, with only the sound of static and a small exhale on her side that expressed the weight of her emotions. Wren spoke softly, "Aillard, I'm done. I'm done being far away from you." 

Honestly, I was done too. 

Wren had no idea how desperate she made me feel whenever she wasn't beside me — the anxiety of a missing warmth and the fear of losing the tether because of the distance between us. Yet, I couldn't put everything within my grasp down to welcome her back with open arms. 

Wren walked through the gates of hell for me twice and I would never recover from the consternation that how fragile life was. If I brought her between the crossfire again, there was a possibility that I would see the life in her pale eyes dying faster than the wisps of smoke dissipating from snuffed out candle flames. And I wouldn't be able to live through that, never. 

"Wren—"

"I get it," Wren cut in, as though not wanting to hear anything I would like to say. 

"I haven't said anything, angel," I laughed, unable to hold back the amusement when she seemed so down before I could explain myself. "You have to give me a chance to speak, right?" 

"I'm actually afraid of what I'll hear," she said. 

"Come back to me, Wren," I exhaled. I wasn't sure where did all the courage came from but with her, I only knew that putting a front wasn't needed at all. I continued, "I don't think I can hold on any longer without you and I'll use everything in my strength to protect you. Fight this with me, please." 

I heard an audible gasp from the other end of the line, followed by an almost cracked voice calling my 'name' in the gentlest way possible, "Aillard—"

It must've been because of Jeremiah's visit that a bitterness suddenly surfaced, and I wanted to erase the trace of that name from her lips. I wanted to kiss her till she only remembered how my name was articulated in her breathlessness. I only wanted to hear her pant the only name I delved against her tongue. 

My jaw clenched slightly to hold back the temper that was rising headily over ridiculous reasons. I suppressed the sharpness in my tone as I said, "When you return, there's something I would like to tell you." 

"Okay," she murmured. "I'll be back real soon."

"I'll wait for you," I acknowledged quietly, feeling the sudden anticipation at the thought that I would be able to have her close to me again. I didn't realise that I was craving to feel her warmth until I started to miss being near her and I wanted so badly for her to appear right now.

"I love you, Aillard," she said tenderly through the call and waited for a few moments before hanging it up. It was as though she knew that I wouldn't say it back to her and she didn't insist on me reciprocating those words of affection.

Mentally, I held onto her voice and wondered how my name would taste against her soft lips. I wanted to know how Aleksander would sound against her sweet voice. The insanity had really caught up to me and the more I love her and knew about how she felt for me, the more obsessed I was in wanting her to know that I wasn't the person she thought I was. Now I stood so close to telling her the truth — the truth that I was nothing but an imposter who had illegitimate desires to own an empire that never belonged to me.

It was late in the night and when I left my room, the whole household was empty without a single sound echoing through the pin-drop silence. I went to the garage and hopped into a random car before swerving my way out of the mansion. Heading towards the direction to the hospital, I made a call to Jeremiah and said, "I'm heading to the hospital."

"Two in the morning," Jeremiah exhaled in exasperation. "Can you at least pick a better timing?"

"You're on nightshift anyway," I stated nonchalantly, keeping my eyes on the road while steering the wheel with one hand.

"Perfect, it seems that you had my duty timetable checked too," Jeremiah spoke sarcastically. "I don't exactly appreciate that my boss is checking up on me during my working hours."

"Has anybody told you that you talk too much?" I asked.

"Have you ever wondered why you don't have many friends?"

"I never needed them," I replied simply.

Ending the call, I stepped harder on the accelerator to speed through the empty road.

After the call, I placed the phone down on the table and peered out of the window to look towards the city skyline. Aillard's words sank into my mind, and I held them close to my heart, feeling all the emotions that had mixed in total shambles.

Suddenly, the clicking sound of a door opening sounded from upstairs and I gazed up to see Naya walking out of her room. She looked at me with surprise in her expression when she asked, "Another sleepless night again, my dearest?"

"I had a call with Aillard just now," I said.

"Really?" Naya's eyes widened and she raised her brows, seemingly amazed by what I had just said. "It seemed that the both of you had something sorted out in Japan? What did both of you talk about?"

"I'm returning," I smiled. "Aillard is my new client."

"You—" Naya gasped, walking down the stairs and towards me. She checked, "You're returning?"

"You're right," I giggled, finally sorting out the excitement that I felt within me when I could return to the place that I longed to be in these three years. I hopped off the highchair and pulled her by the arm, settling both of us down on the couch and I discussed with her, "You moved here because of me, and I think you should also go back with me."

"Are you sure?" Naya appeared more anxious than I expected her to. "Do you know what going back means?"

"I know," I nodded. 

"Okay," Naya sighed, dropping her gaze low as her long lashes shielded her amber eyes. "I'll let Ismael know and we'll return together."

"Naya." I noticed something was slightly off and I tried to probe, "Is something wrong?"

"No, of course not," she gave a wry smile.

I frowned while pointing out, "Something's definitely wrong, Naya. Talk to me."

"Why are you returning?"

"Aillard needs me," I said with a small exhale, beginning to worry when I felt a sudden distance between Naya and me.

"I don't think I'll ever understand the lengths that people willingly go in the name of love. It confuses me," she laughed dryly. "Even if it reaps your life away, you still insist on returning?"

"Naya—"

"Don't!" Naya snapped. "Just don't say that because you love him! If you knew so much about love, then why don't you see that everyone else also loves you? Or does love makes people so damned selfish that they only cared about their own feelings than others?"

After that sudden outburst, Naya pulled my arm away from hers. Without even listening to me calling her from behind, she stomped into her own room and slammed the door shut. That was the moment I knew that I triggered a bad memory in her.

To the world out there, Naya exuded confidence and vibrancy that magnetised everyone to her. Many said that it was her personality that resulted in her being unable to settle down in relationships, but they were wrong. 

Beneath her flamboyance was her insecurity towards love and commitments. Ismael told me once that Naya had distanced herself from the intimate emotion ever since the passing of their parents. Their mother passed when she decided to go against the doctor's advice to give birth to her and their father was caught in a disastrous turbulence that resulted in an unfortunate plane crash when he was returning on their mother's death anniversary. Her unwillingness to love was perhaps her way of shouldering the blame of two deaths that she never wanted to cause and her inability to pull the people she loved out of the grasp of fate.

Standing outside her room, I knocked lightly and left a few words for her, "Naya, I want to talk to you when you're feeling better. I'll be waiting in my room."

When there wasn't a reply from inside, I sighed and turned towards the other end of the hallway to return to my own room. It was a rather cold night and the digital clock on my nightstand beeped when the time struck three. Yet, I couldn't feel a wink of sleepiness because my mind was filled with the nervousness of returning to his side. Settling myself by the window seat, I grabbed onto my laptop and started to search for the earliest flight I could manage to catch.

Then, a few light knocks sounded from my door and Naya appeared behind the door that was pushed ajar. She sounded down when she apologised, "I'm sorry, Wren. I shouldn't be taking it out on you."

"You know that I'd never hold anything against you," I smiled.

"When do you plan to return?" she asked.

"Whenever you're ready to return with me," I replied, placing my laptop aside and patting lightly on the space beside me. "Have a seat, girlfriend."

Naya entered my room, kicking away her fluffy slippers and cosied herself at the window seat with me. She leaned against the cold glass and said, "Wren, if you're in trouble, you know that Ismael and I are always right behind you. You can fall back on us, okay?"

"I know," I grinned cheekily, stretching my leg to nudge on her feet with mine. "I'm also always here for you whenever you need someone, Naya."

"Can I tell you something, then?" she sighed.

"Of course."

"I was out earlier in the night," Naya mentioned, pausing a little as though trying to say something difficult. "Spence wanted to meet me."

All of a sudden, it was my turn to rage. The single mention of Spencer Harris was enough to make my blood boil because I didn't want that jerk anywhere near Naya. I demanded, "At his engagement party? What the hell did he want from you?"

"Calm down, dearest," Naya gave a small laugh, voice still a little hoarse because she just recovered. "I met him before the engagement party started."

"What did he tell you?" I rushed.

"Just a bunch of nonsense that he knew was enough to hurt me," Naya sighed. "Then, I was stupid enough to be bothered by all that was said and drank a little too much. I ran into Reinhardt's son, I think."

"Nolan brought you home, girlfriend," I said.

"Right," Naya exhaled. "I just wanted to say that there's nothing between us, Wren."

"Hmm," I raised a brow, eyeing her with an inspecting gaze. "I don't really think that there's nothing between the both of you, Naya."

"There's no way we can possibly have something between us," Naya stated blatantly.

"Why not?"

"All the good feelings in him was just a moment of passion," she said. "He's too young to realise anything."

"Naya, it's only a three-year difference between the both of you. He's twenty-three, and you're twenty-six, that's all," I stated. 

"Let's not talk about it anymore," Naya hastily brushed the topic off. "I have something planned for us tomorrow night."

"What have you planned?"

"You'll know." 

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