her grim reaper

you have to understand that you're a constant doubt in my head, like a mystery that never will unfold itself. you also have to understand that you're a chance I can't risk and to my heart, you're the most certain thing i'd ever known.

(Wren)

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"Shelter him, dammit!" I shouted at my men, who were still trying to shelter me from the rain when it was gravely obvious that the one who needed to be covered is the injured woman in my arms. 

I carefully placed her in the passenger seat and my heart jittered when blood oozed from her wound, dyeing her white inner shirt in crimson. Uptight and frantic, I was almost losing it but I tried my best to remain logical as I sat into the driver's seat and sped my way off this abandoned grounds. My feet rammed hard on the accelerator, trying my best to suppress all the emotions that were creeping underneath my fucking skin and trying to rip me apart. 

From the side, I heard her shift a little as she groaned in pain. Stretching my arm towards her, I touched her gently and held onto the back of her hand. In all desperation, I pleaded softly, "Hang in there. You'll be okay, Wren, please stay with me." 

"I-It h-hurts—" Wren exhaled weakly and her words were almost incomprehensible. 

My fucking heart almost shattered when her voice that was filled with pain sounded in my ears. When my eyes did a quick dart to the side to look at her, I saw how she tried to press on her wound and breathe through a mouthful of blood. She was suffocating and I felt a heavy pressure pressing against my chest, almost letting me feel the pain of her breathlessness. 

"Wren, I'm here," I said, not knowing what else to say except to repeat, "I'm here." 

Her bloodied hand touched mine, smearing it with red as she strained, "M-Mallory—"

"Please stop talking, Wren," I interjected in a warning tone. "I need you to stay with me." 

"I-I'm here," Wren gave me a wry smile. "I-I'm a-always h-here—"

"Fuck," I cursed when I felt her breathing slower and I didn't have the capability to drive any faster that wouldn't end the both of us up in the afterlife. I had no idea how I managed to drive in my state but I did, probably due to my ridiculous obsession to keep her alive by my side — till I refused to let her slip through the spaces between my heart just like that. 

When I pulled my car over at the private hospital owned by the Illiades, I quickly entered through the specially designated entrance and shouted, "Mallory, come the fuck out now!" 

"Aillard?" Mallory rushed out from the corner and gasped when she saw Wren in my arms. 

I panicked, "Don't 'Aillard' me, fuck, do something!" 

Medical staffs quickly pushed a stretched her in front of me and Mallory hurriedly instructed me to place her down. In all rush, she was pushed into the surgery room and the light above the door lit in bright red. The adrenaline in my blood never ceased and every second seemed to stretch into eternity as I lowered myself on the bench and dropped my head low, trying to catch my breath. 

A moment later, Mallory rushed out and I shot up straight. Her expression paled and I asked apprehensively, "What is it?" 

"Aillard," she said gravely, before continuing, "The penetrating trauma had punctured into her lung space, causing her left lung to collapse. She's losing a lot of blood and it's almost impossible—"

"No, Mallory, you have to bring her back," I cut in midway, unwilling to hear her verdict. 

"Aillard, we're terribly sorry," Mallory frowned and sighed. "Wren's blood type is too rare. We don't have any supplies of her blood type in the hospital bank."

"Take mine."

"But—"

"Mallory!" I almost shouted. "You want Rh-null blood, and here I fucking am!"

"Your blood may not be enough for her!" Mallory replied with urgency in her tone.

"Drain me dry for all I care," I said, my breath hitched in my throat and my voice faltered as I spoke, as my will to live faded at the thought that Wren may not make it through this. For once in my life, I begged, "Please save her, Mallory, please just save her." 

"Then, please follow me." Mallory sighed, pulling on my arm as I entered the surgery room with her.

She instructed me to lay in the bed beside and I turned my head to the side to see her lying unconscious on the surgery bed. The heartbeat monitor was beeping slower each time I counted the seconds. Feeling a pierce into my arm, I saw red flowing through the tube into the bag before I adjusted my gaze back to her again. I never believed in God, but for the first time, I prayed for her to be okay and prayed that I was enough to bring her back to life.

Laying in the stretcher bed, I could only blame myself. If it wasn't for me, she may have lived a happier life. Perhaps some loving couple would stumble upon her in the orphanage and be magnetised to her at first sight. They would adopt her and love her like their own. Wren may not be called Wren. 

Who knows? 

Maybe she would have a sweet name, and she would have many friends. When she grew older, she would fall in love and the only thing that would hurt her may at most be a heartbreak as she cried over an unworthy douchebag. But eventually, she would learn to love again and this time, she would choose carefully and enter a relationship that would last a lifetime.

She should've been, could've been, would've been so much better without me. Why did fates have to torture this poor girl and let her be stuck with a man who couldn't give her anything except to be her grim reaper?

My head was growing heavier as they drew more blood from me. Closing my eyes, I only mumbled, "I'm sorry, Wren."

I woke up with an unusual heaviness in my head and the left side of my chest was hurting so bad when I tried to breathe. If not for the air supplied through the oxygen mask, I would've probably died from the lack of air. I turned my head from left to right and at the immediate moment when I realised I was in the hospital, I jolted. My body couldn't adjust to the sudden movement as a dry, hacking cough nearly threw me into unconsciousness again. 

Beside me, an angry voice sounded, "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"M-Mallory," I said in a muffled voice through the oxygen mask and dropped myself back down the bed.

She rushed towards me to check on my vitals and my wound before she warned, "You're not supposed to move. I worked so hard to bring you back to life, don't you dare jeopardize that."

"T-Thank you," I mumbled.

"I'm not the only one you should thank," she sighed. "Someone else nearly died saving you."

My eyes widened and I looked towards her. I pulled on the oxygen mask and asked, "What do you mean by that?"

"Wren!" Mallory smacked on my hand and adjusted the oxygen mask back on my face. She clicked her tongue and snapped, "I don't even know why I saved you when I'm going to be the one dying of frustration to care for you!"

I tugged on her arm and looked towards her, anticipating an answer. The unease I felt in my heart was already a clear answer to know who she was referring to but I wanted to hear from her. Mallory placed her hand over mine and she said, "You know, fates work in a weird way. Your blood type is too rare and there are barely fifty people in the entire world who could save you, but you're tied to someone who had the ability to. Aillard saved you, darling."

"What—"

"We had to draw quite a bit from him in order to bring you back." 

"Where is he?" I asked weakly, feeling a sudden ache in my chest. 

"He went into hypovolemic shock in the surgery room, so we had also placed him in intensive care to monitor his condition," Mallory explained. She moved in closer to sit by my side, combing her fingers through my short hair and gave me a smile, "Don't worry, he's in stable condition now."

I didn't say anything but I simply stared at her. I first met Mallory when I got shot in my shoulder when I was twelve in the Willoughby mansion and it was almost the same situation like this that I had been rushed into the emergency surgery centre. If it wasn't for her, I would've died. This woman saved me so many times and she had been there for me in every phase of my life, helping me as I grow up and caring for me after Dad passed. I reached for her hand and placed them gently on my chest as I struggled to speak through the oxygen mask, "Thank you, Mallory."

"Rest well," she sighed. "I'll check on you again later in the day."

I watched as she stood up and leave my ward while her words settled heavily in my mind. I deliberate through all the words that were left unsaid, but my heart was firmed with its decisions.

Being in love with Aillard was probably one of the biggest mistakes I had made in my life but I never once regretted it — not even a single bit. Even if I was given a million more chance, I would still jump in to take the bullet for him, I would still take the pierce for him and I would die for him, even. 

Maybe it's scary to know how I love with the entire force of the universe but I had never been more certain when it concerned him. I love him so much and so painfully that even if it killed me, I know that it was all in my will.

My heart had always been his, and I cannot find another that this heart will beat for.

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a/n:

how far would you go for love?