Important note on bottom!

When Keenan was in second grade he decided to join the local peewee football team. It was the first game any of his team mates had played, and they were going up against a team a year older than them. They were bigger, more experienced, and all around better.

But when Keenan lost his first football game he didn't notice how inexperienced he was, how inexperienced he was supposed to be compared to the other team. After the first game with a crushing loss of fourteen to zero Keenan ran off the field towards his Dad. He took Dr. Ben's hand and pleaded with a quiet voice to take him to the car.

Dr. Ben did so, holding his small son's hand in his larger one. It was when the doors closed around them and left them alone in the car that Keenan tore off his helmet, thrashed it against the dashboard and sobs shook his entire body.

Dr. Ben looked helplessly at his son, his pride and joy, who was crying like his world was ending.

"I can't do it Dad," Keenan sobbed, wet fat tears falling down his face. "I'm terrible. I made us lose!"

Ben laid a hand on his sons' shoulders and waited till the tears stopped. Finally, they did and Ben told him, "You did no such thing. You are one part of an entire team. You work together, meaning you lose together. Do not blame yourself for trying."

Keenan sniffled and wiped the tears off his cheeks. "I don't want to play no more. I'm not good at it." Keenan closed his eyes, waiting for his father to yell at him, to tell him to toughen up and get back on that field. Ben had been the star quarter back of his high school and would have gone professional if he hadn't gone to medical school as his father before him had. Ben was passionate about football more than anything. Sometimes Keenan thought he loved the game more than he loved his own son.

He was afraid that his father would hate him if he didn't play the game he loved.

"That's fine," Ben said softly, taking Keenan by surprise. "If you want to quit then you quit. If you want to play then you play."

"Aren't you mad," Keenan whispered. "I thought you wanted me to play and be good, just like you."

Ben looked at his son horrified. "I don't care about that Keenan. I don't care what you do with your life, who you become, or what you decide to like. You're my son, the only thing I wish for you to do until the day I die is to come to me when you need someone to talk to. Like you are now."

Dr. Ben reached out and ruffled his son's hair. "Whatever you do, I will be proud of you and I will support you every step of the way. Just know that I'm here and I always will be."

The next day Keenan made his Dad take him to football practice. He never stopped going, he never stopped trying, he never stopped loving the sport, and his Dad never stopped cheering for him on the sidelines every single game day.

But somehow, over the years as seasons passed and games were won and lost, Keenan confused his father's support with his father's obsession. Eventually, that entire conversation was forgotten to Keenan.

Until, the day he sat in the head Coach's office with three police men surrounding him, telling him he's suspended from the team for four weeks. It wasn't until those words passed the coach's mouth that Keenan realized after all this time that this was always his dream, not his father's.

You really don't know what you have until it's gone.

"But Coach-" Keenan protested, feeling panic rise up in him. He doesn't want to lose this sport. It's the only thing he has left.

The Coach held up a hand, stopping him from continuing. "I won't hear it Lockhart. There needs to be consequences for what you did to those boys."

"And what about them," he shouted angrily. "Shouldn't there be consequences for them too? They trashed all of Conrad's things!"

"They're being punished," voiced a police officer. "They're worse off than you right now. You're lucky you're only being suspended from a few games that you won't even be able to play in anyways."

Keenan sunk back into his chair, knowing the police officer was right. He was the third string quarter back, meaning he would never step foot on the field. He was lucky.

But still, he couldn't practice with the team and he couldn't put on his pads for four weeks. It sounded a lot like he was being kicked off the team all together.

"Go to class son," Coach spoke. "I'll see you back here in four weeks."

...

Keenan dialed his father's number, anxious to speak to him. Ever since the accident that left Keenan's heart ripped apart, he hasn't been the best communicator with his family. His family ended their trip to California a day early because Keenan wouldn't bother to entertain them, much less hold up a conversation with any of them.

Keenan hated that he was acting as he was; numb. It was affecting the people around him, but he didn't know how else to deal with the pain. If he let it in then it would consume him and surely break him. It was better to pretend that he didn't have a heart at all, that way he wouldn't know it was broken.

His Dad answered on the final ring, right before the answering machine would take the call.

"Hello?" Keenan noticed that his Dad sounded nervous, probably because his son was starting a conversation for the first time in months.

"I got suspended from the team."

Keenan closed his eyes and mentally cursed himself out. Why would he say that first? Why was he even calling his Dad?

Perhaps it was because he remembered what he once told him.

"You're my son, and the only thing I wish for you to do until the day I die is come to me when you need someone to talk to."

And that's what he needed right now. A person he could talk to, someone who would understand why his chest felt empty. 

Ben audibly sighed from the other end of the line. If Keenan focused hard enough he could imagine his Dad leaning back in his leather chair in his office, the phone pressed to his ear, and his feet upon his desk.

"What happened?"

A car honked, stealing Keenan's attention for a minute. He looked his shoulder at the busy street, bustling with cars and pedestrians. It was a sight for sore eyes when right in front of him was the Pacific ocean with the setting sun behind it.

"Keenan," his Dad asked again.

"I got into a fight."

The other end of the line was silent for quite some time. Keenan could only guess how disappointed his Dad was because of him. Keenan never fought, that was always Jesse's forte. He was positive that his Dad thought Keenan was changing because of the accident. Of course he was, but he didn't fight those guys because of Aurora. He fought them for Conrad.

"Keenan . . ."

He closed his eyes as he began to feel regret about calling his Dad. Keenan didn't start the conversation off the right away in order for them to talk without tension. He wanted to feel better, not worse.

"Look Dad," he sighed, ready to tell him it was a mistake to call him. He opened his eyes, resting them on the waves crashing on the shore. "I . . ."

"I'm worried about you son," Ben answered when Keenan failed to speak. "We all are. You don't answer our phone calls or texts. You hardly speak to us anymore and I've been keeping in contact with the Coach. He told me the other day that you nearly killed yourself while working out! Apparently you've been focusing solely on football? You're in college to get a degree, not a trophy." Ben took a deep breath, trying to calm himself after his small rant.

"I know you're hurting," Ben said softly. "But please don't change who you are. She wouldn't want that."

His Dad was oblivious to the fact that Keenan wasn't listening to a single word he said. It was because of her, the girl Ben spoke of.

Aurora.

She was standing right in front of him.

IMPORTANT

Yes I know it's been awhile since the last update... I'm sorry! I've been so caught up in my other book The War of the Alphas that I didn't have inspiration or time to work on this book. But I want to change that!

I just have an important question to ask you all!

According to popular opinion, should I hold off on updating this book for a couple months, so I can finish the book, then upload them all at once when I'm finished?

Or would you guys like me to update once per week until it's done?