Something I might want to alert your attention to: I published this, then realized how much I hated this, then unpublished this, then was like "i don't have anything else to post for gay month" so I republished it. Keep in mind this is CRAP TERRIBLE so read it at your own risk

     Anyways...

     It's GAY MONTH! And that means it'll be a good idea to start the celebration off with a oneshot about our favorite gay couple, Lilac and Foliage. I mainly inspired this off of an incorrect quote with a little twist- you'll know which one it is.

     A headcanon you'll need to know: when Foliage was still non-binary in the wiki I headcanoned the dude to be a demiboy, because he just kinda gave off demiboy vibes. Well, turns out he's canonically a demigirl but by headcanon still prevails.

     As tradition: Ready! Steady! GO!

~

     "Hey, Foliage?" Lilac said, walking into the room they basically shared.

     "Oh! Hey, honey," Foliage replied. "What's up?"

     Lilac was clearly not used to pet names, seeing as his ears went pink. "I found this bottle of unidentified liquid and I wanted to know whether it was whiskey or perfume," he muttered, voice significantly lowered.

     "Darling- speak up, I can't hear you," Foliage responded smoothly, being annoyingly insistent on nicknames just to be irritating.

     "STOP THAT," Lilac huffed. "Anyways, I was asking-"

     "I heard you, you know," Foliage said, sending a grin over to Lilac.

     "Oh, of course you did," Lilac mumbled. He was annoyed, but went over and scooted next to Foliage on the fluffy rug he was reading on.

     Lilac stretched out his arms from behind him and relaxed with his head on Foliage's shoulder after a moment. "So, how're you going to find out whether this bottle of mystery substance is whis- oh."

     He'd looked up and saw- no, witnessed- Foliage, who had taken to chugging the entire bottle. Does he know what the word poison is? Lilac thought with a confused look.

     Foliage brought down the bottle, coughed, and made a face. "I- oh god that tasted awful- but nope, that's definitely whiskey," he said with "this is disgusting" written all over his face.

     "That... was not a good idea," Lilac managed to force out of his voice box that suddenly wasn't able to work out of shock. He shook his head, trying to regain his senses. "You've probably spilled half of that trying to see what it was, and why in Wild Card's name did you decide to chug the entire goddamn bottle?"

     Foliage just massaged his face and didn't say a word. Sighing, Lilac got up to get some paper towels.

     How did I wind up dating this idiot? he thought, making his way towards the kitchen. He got a roll of paper towels out of a cabinet, and flicked a droplet of the alcoholic beverage off of his shoulder-

     SHIT, Lilac thought as he came to a realization stopping in the hallway. That's fucking- oh, no.

     He was pretty sure that had come from when him, Purple, and Foliage were 10- and for some reason, the other two thought it would be a good idea to steal three bottles of whiskey from Wild Marker and see what would happen if they chugged it. Lilac, being the only sane child alive at the time, just watched. Purple somehow managed to come out just fine without any significant change in his behavior (except maybe going to sleep at 7 when he usually wasn't able to go to bed until 10), but Foliage?

     Oh, boy. He wasn't even able to stand up by himself, which kind of gave it away to Wild Marker what they'd been up to. The three of them did receive a stern dad talk the day after, but according to Purple it was totally worth it. Foliage had decided he was never going to do that again.

     Lilac guessed that the bottle he'd found was the one Purple and Foliage had stolen for him, then just kept somewhere instead of returning it to the shelf they found it on.

     Okay, then again, the two of us are both 24. We- no, I'll be able to handle this, and he won't necessarily die. It'll be fine, he hoped as he kept walking back to his room.

     Boy, was he wrong.

     Lilac immediately knew that Foliage was 100% NOT OKAY IN THE HEAD when he opened the door, mainly because he was suddenly caught into a rib-breaking hug.

     "Woah- okay, Foliage- sit down and get your senses together," he told his *ahem* significant other *ahem*. "Don't cling onto me like that, you're going to choke me to death."

     He should've known that drunk people didn't like doing whatever the logical explanation was.

     "Mmhm," Foliage mumbled back. "No."

     Lilac sighed. "Foliage, get off of me."

     "I don' want to," he replied, words slurring together.

     Lilac managed to wriggle out of Foliage's grasp and rubbed his temples.

     "When did you get so clingy? I swear to god, if you're not better by-" Lilac started before he was brutally interrupted by Foliage putting a hand over his mouth. He immediately swatted it away, giving his *ahem* significant other *ahem* an annoyed look.

     "What was that for?" Lilac grumbled. Still muttering under his breath, he was about to slip past Foliage into his room when he was gripped by his shoulders and met with a random "I'm going to kiss you into the oblivion" by Foliage.

     "Maybe later, but right now you are not okay," Lilac had responded without thinking over what Foliage had told him. Then, realization hit him. "Wait, what? Foliage, what the fuck, no-" 

     Too late, seeing as he was (quite rudely) interrupted by a kiss from Foliage. He could practically feel his face turning red by the second, and when Foliage broke off he was about to say something else when Foliage brought his face up and planted another kiss on his lips.

     Lilac was irritated that his feet were almost dangling off the ground, but he was also surprised at how Foliage was actually a pretty good kisser.

     Foliage let go of Lilac, and as he was getting stable on his feet his *ahem* significant other *ahem* decided to pass out on the spot.

     Lilac could, once again, feel his face getting red by the second. Figuring that he should probably leave Foliage somewhere and see if he could get Purple to come back sooner, he dropped the passed out body that he'd been holding onto the fluffy rug and ambled out of the room.

     He must've fallen asleep on the couch trying to get Purple to pick up the phone, because it was 6 in the morning when he was rudely kicked in the shin by his annoyingly awake twin, demanding to know what had happened and why in Wild Card's name was Foliage telling him about this bottle of "perfume or whiskey?"

     "Kill me now," Lilac grumbled.

~

     For those of you wondering what the incorrect quote was, I can't exactly remember what it was but it's something like this:

Lilac: *holding up a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Foliage: Give it to me, and we'll find out.
Foliage: *chugs the entire thing*
Foliage: It's perfume.

     And that got me thinking- hey, what if it was whiskey? Then I started designing a whole ass story plot so here ya go 👍👍👍