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Chapter 52

Francy's p.o.v

My hands shook, but I was ready for this.

I knocked on Mom and dad's room. They usually relaxed there when they wanted to give us privacy. Mom opened the door. "Mm honey? You need anything?"

"I need to talk to you." I walked in hiding the document behind my back.

Dad was on the balcony drinking coffee and relaxing. He glanced behind his shoulder seeing me. "Oh?"

"Can you come in for a second?" I beckoned him inside and sat down on their bed.

He walked inside and I tapped the bed so they sit on it.

"I feel like I'm getting reprimanded." Mom laughed and nudged dad. "Did we do something wrong?"

Dad just shrugged.

"I accidentally found this."

I presented the stack of papers in front of them.

Mom covered her mouth and glanced at dad worried.

"I didn't read it. I don't know what's inside." I pressed my hands together. "But um.. I want to know now. I need to know. Why am I the only one who wasn't told her adoption story? Why was this separated from the other documents?"

Dad covered his face letting out a hurt sigh. "I guess I have to tell her now." His hands were shaking.

"I'll do it." Mom took his hand. "I will tell her. Go outside for some air."

Without a word dad went outside and closed the door of the balcony. This must have been really difficult for him. I've never seen him like this.

Mom sat on the same side as me and put an arm around me.

"Now let's see where to start."

I could tell in her voice she was as nervous as me to tell me.

"It was a month after your father and I bought this house and moved here after traveling for so long. We started working in a hospital again. It was somewhere in the middle of the night when I was paged to come to the hospital and do emergency surgery. Your father was already at work doing the third shift. I came in as quickly as I can. The ER had brought in a couple and their young daughter. They were in a car accident. The man was in critical condition and didn't make it in time for the surgery. The woman was assigned in my OR . She was also badly hurt, but she did well in surgery."

I whole body suddenly felt very cold despite mom holding me. My biological parents were in an accident?

Mom took my fingers and played with them in her warm hand.

"Both of them were in their thirties. Young and full of life, yet they suffered that tragic accident. The woman.."

Her voice gave out so she cleared her throat giving me a comforting smile.

"I waited for the woman to wake up, check up on her. After few hours she came around to it. "

"She made it in the surgery?" I asked.

"Yep." Mom answered and then took the paper stack pulling out the previous paper I found with the handwriting I couldn't recognize.

"It all started with this."




Trine's p.o.v


"What's that?" I asked my patient.

She was tightly holding onto it like it was her hope even after her husband had passed away.

It was a small paper we pulled out of his pocket. Even he had held it clenched before he passed away on his way here. It must have been very important.

There was a smile on her face. "It's something we wrote together after I found out I was pregnant with our daughter."

I chuckled. "The cute blondie. She's famous downstairs in the children's unit." I smiled sitting down next to my patient. "The whole staff is calling her sleeping beauty."

She smiled proudly. "She's pretty right?"

"Very." I smiled.

She passed me the paper she had clutched. "The list is something we both wanted to do for our daughter as she grew up. Read it."

I straightened the paper and started reading the numbered things.

1. sing her lullabies every night until she is old enough for stories.

I smiled. "You started reading her stories yet?"

She nodded. "She loves hearing them. Especially if you pretend you're the characters. A bunny, a bear..a dragon a princess. She loves it."

I kept reading.

2. Take her to the zoo to see the giraffes

3. go on an overseas holiday when she's a bit older

4. teach her to ride a bike

5. send her off to her first day in school and hide around the school to make sure she does okay

6. Get her a pet she can take care of by herself

7. teach her about boys

8. teach her is bad to drink alcohol until she's 18

9. send her off to university

10. watch her getting married to someone who loves her as much as we do


"That's a pretty awesome list you have there." I passed it back to her. "I hope you get to do all those things with her."

"I'll make sure I do all of these." She pushed her tears back, but one escaped her eyes and fell over her cheek. "Even if he's not here with us anymore I have to do these with her." She clenched her hand. "I have to."

I took her shoulder and smiled at her. "Then you have to rest and become very healthy and live a long life."

She nodded and closed her eyes trying to block off the other tears.

I left the room to give her some privacy.


What I did not expect was that to be the last time I talk to her.


Two hours later I had shone the penlight into her eyes. I checked for breathing and heart sounds and then lastly her pulse. It was as routine as it could get.

It was 6:17 when I pronounced her dead.

It was so routine yet this time my heart was clenching in pain. I signed the papers and then left the room. I found a dark corner of the hospital and leaned on the cold wall. I needed a minute.

I didn't expect the death of a woman who I only had a brief chat with and thought was going to live, to die on me like this.  Why did she have to have after surgery complications?

My hands were slightly shaking so I shoved them in my pockets.

I didn't want to pronounce her dead. I wanted her to live a full life with her daughter.

I felt cold. Dark. I couldn't shake off the feeling of death lurking in the corner of the hospital. Maybe it was ghosts or my own demons haunting me, but I was shivering in my coat. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

Was it too soon to come back and work in the hospital? Or was I just tired and brain scattered that I could no longer function?

Suddenly a dark figure stood in front of me and leaned their hand on the wall so I was hidden away.

The smell of a familiar aftershave and shared shampoo instantly calmed me down.

He was carrying a coffee cup in his left hand, the smell of the warm coffee lingering in the air.

Oh, Alben.

He was in his doctor's coat, which meant he had a few more hours of his shift and was taking a break to come and see me.

Like always. He took care of me no matter what. No matter when. He was there. Every damn time when I was like this.

How did he know when I needed him the most?

I leaned my head on his chest and closed my eyes.

Two young nurses were standing near the hall, chatting.

"Ah, Doctor Trine is my idol." She paused. " I wanna be like her. Driven for success, beloved by my patients and tough you know, like her. Nothing can shake her."

The other nurse spoke. "I know what you mean. But she's not just lucky. Have you heard?"

"What?"

"Her whole family is rich. She didn't have to work a day in her life, but she decided to be a doctor. Studied like crazy even after she became a doctor, so she can be the best. I can't even finish a shift without crying."

Alben chuckled over my head. "They don't know how much of a cry baby you are."

I nuzzled in his neck. "If I ever hear you, tell anyone that, I'll kill you."

He smiled and brought his hand up to take a sip of the coffee. I wrapped both my arms around his waist. "At least there was no comment about you this time."

The nurses kept walking in the hallway. "And she's married to Dr. Handsome . What am I doing wrong in life? My mother keeps bugging me to go on a blind date with..."

They kept walking until they were out of sight.

I couldn't see his face, oh but I bet he was so smug about it. There wasn't a day I wasn't paying for marrying Dr. Handsome.

"Get some rest." He kissed the top of my head and handed me his coffee before leaving.

I rubbed my eyes and walked over to sit on the benches for patients and visitors.

I was still in shock, but at least I didn't feel like crying anymore. It was not the first time when something like this happened, but it was never any less painful. Especially when you get to know them, talk to them. Losing a human life was difficult.

What would that poor little girl do? She was just about Kai's age. The thought of Kai or any of the other boys being left alone like that brought out a suffocating fear in me.

After some time had passed, I realized I should go home before the kids woke up. Just one more thing before I leave.

I walked down the hall to the patient's room to check on the little girl.

She might still be asleep.

Just as I was about to enter the room Alben came out holding the little girl's hand. When did he? How...

"Oh." I looked at both of them surprised.

"Says she wants banana juice." Alben flashed me a smile and then crouched next to the blonde-haired girl. "Tell the doctor your name."

"Francy." She answered shyly.

"Hi." I broke into a smile. She was adorable.

"Are you in pain anywhere?" He asked and she just shook her head in denial.

She was so cooperative and sweet.

"Do you want banana juice?" He asked and she just giggled. "Yeah."

Alben looked up at me and smiled coyly. "Does the doctor permit this patient a walk so we can go get banana juice?"

"Granted." I smiled. "But be back quick," I answered knowing he already must have checked all her vitals.

"So cute and cooperative." One of the nurses told the other nurse. "She listened to whatever her doctor says."

"If I woke up and didn't remember anything, I'd follow the hot doctor too." The other nurse replied.

"Doesn't remember ?" I walked over to them.

"Doctor Alben said she had no idea where she was, what happened nor asked for her mom and dad. She must have completely been shocked to just erase everything out of her head like that. Poor kid." The nurse handed me her chart and the notes Alben took.

"Social services will be here soon." The other nurse said.

"Alright. Thank you." I handed them the chart back and went to find Alben and the girl.

They were on the first floor and he was braiding her long hair while she was playing with his stethoscope and drinking her juice.

I approached them. Alben was so happy to be braiding her hair. She seemed to have grown attached to him.

"That's awful handwork," I told him and squated down next to where they sat.

"Well, she likes it." Alben replied and smiled at her. "Don't you?"

She smiled at him and nodded her head.

"She's just smitten because you bribed her with banana juice," I said and took a look at the scratch on her hand. It was gonna heal nicely.

Alben let out a long sigh. "Ah..Girls are just different." He took her small face in his hands and squeezed her cheeks. "Just look at this cute soft face. Do you know how many times she hit me? None. If this was Kai, I'd be bitten. If it was Ace I'd be running after him."

I laughed. Francy climbed up on the chair and went to hug Alben. That was it. He was no longer focused on me and completely entertained by her.

"Social services are going to be here soon." I rose up and brushed his hair back. "Will you take care of it. I wanna go home and see our kids."

He nodded. "I'll handle it." He took my hand and kissed it. "I love you."

Suddenly the little girl took my hand too, kissed it and looked at me. "I love you." She then shied away.

I burst out laughing. "That was adorable." I tried to pinch her cheek while she kept giggling and hiding in Alben's neck.

"I don't think she wants you to go." He said and caressed her hair. "Stay for five more minutes."

I gave them both a huge hug, tears welling up in my eyes just thinking about her parents. Why was life so unfair?

****

I was on my doorstep around 7:30. It was so weird how quickly the house we bought became our home.

My mother-in-law opened the door carrying Rehan in her arms. "Come in hon, they're all awake." She passed me the slippers.

"Thanks mom."

My mother in law as always was sent from god. She was there every time I needed her. Which reminds me I had to call my mom and see how she's doing in Paris with dad. They were always there this time of year.

There was a delicious smell coming from the kitchen.

I brought the stuff down and took off my shoes to put on the slippers. I washed in a hurry and then walked into the room.

No wonder there was no welcoming parade in my honor.

Ace was in front of the Tv watching a cartoon, while Kai was playing with his toys.

"Mommy!" Ace finally saw me as I went over to say hi. I hugged him first and then Kai who was still into his play.

"I'll make you some tea." Mom said.

"I'll take him." I took Rehan in my arms and sat down on the bed.

My back hurt, I was tired and all I could think about was the girl in the hospital.

I brought Rehan close to my face. He was slobbering all over my shirt, but I didn't care. I kissed his cute little face and pressed him to my face. Somehow my children's smell always calmed me down. They were home, my breath of relief, my comfort, my everything.

"Can I hold the baby?" Ace ran over with his little hands out. Guess the cartoon was over.

"Of course." I brushed his hair back and tapped the couch so he sat next to me.

After climbing up like a professional, he put out his hands again. I placed Rehan in his arms and just as I thought of him, Ace sat him in his lap and held him close.

Not even a complaint, Rehan sat quietly in his arms. He was such a well-behaved boy. He looked at Ace with adoration and interest.

"Look at how much he loves you. Look at those cute puppy eyes." I caressed Rehan's cheek.

Ace started doing the same. "Like this?"

"Yes baby, very gently." I took his hand and went over Rehan's cheek once, then let him do it on his own.. "You're such a good older brother."

Ace burst into the cutest smile. I attacked him with kisses until both him and Rehan started whining and complaining.

I loved my boys so much.

I looked up to find Kai, he was now dragging his bunny and aimlessly walking around the living room. Barely a peep from his mouth.

"Kai, honey, do you wanna hold the baby?" I asked him.

He just shook his head.

"You don't wanna hold the baby?" He shook his head again.

"Do you wanna hug mommy?" I asked.

He smiled cheekily and then ran away with his bunny.

Ah, he was such a tease.

Mom came back into the room giving me a mug. The scent of camomile calmed me down.

"Thank you." I smiled. "You have no idea how much I needed this."

"Well of course you did. You jumped out of bed and then came home late. You must be starving too. I'll take the homemade bread out of the oven soon."

"I was wondering what that divine smell is." I took a deep breath in. I was indeed starving.

"Do you want to go and have a shower?" She asked.

"Soon. I just need...a moment." I replied.

"Alben?" She asked.

"He is finishing his night shift. Gonna be back soon. We were really hoping we could trade shifts so at least one of us is at home with the kids. But it's so difficult to adapt in the hospital and here."

"You just moved back home after working at the borders traveling the world. The kids are trying to adapt too. You did well by choosing to come back home for a stable life. Plus we're all here. We can help out."

"I'm so grateful you're here." I took her hand.

"Don't say another word." She got up and kissed my forehead. "You're family and family takes care of each other."

Ace was over the bonding moment and passed Rehan back to me before running off to play.

I took Rehan and hugged him again.

"What's on your mind?" Mom asked.

"Tonight. Just..It was ..terrible." I answered with a heavy sigh. "There was a car accident. Two people died leaving behind a little girl. The mother survived at first, but due to complications she died this morning."

Mom gasped. "That's awful. Poor people. And that little girl. Any relatives?"

"None." I rubbed my tired eyes with one hand while pressing my boy next to me. I could feel the tears burning my eyes.

"She has no one. Alben said he will take care of everything with social services."

Seeing how distressed I was, she took Rehan and sent me to take a shower.

After taking a long shower and getting dressed, I put my hair up and applied some cream to my face. I could see my dark eyebags and they were prominent these days more than ever. How long will I be able to keep this pace up? How long will I keep lying to myself if I can handle this?

I went downstairs to grab something to eat. The kids were all seated at the table and mom served breakfast. She focused on feeding Rehan while luckily Ace and Kai could feed well on their own.

After eating I took them to the living room to play when I heard the door. It was probably Alben.

Ace ran over to the door screaming daddy daddy and then went silent.

I turned around and saw Alben walking in with the girl in his arms, holding Ace's hand in the other.

He brought her down and she stood shyly next to him. Ace moved a few steps away.

"I know I said I'll handle it and..." Alben spoke

I got up, walking over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in a hug. "You did well." I whispered in his ear, rubbing his back. "You did so well."

I let go of him and kneeled down to face her.

"Hello again." I told her and she just smiled hiding behind Alben's leg.

Kai ran over dragging his bunny behind him. "Who's that?" He asked.

"That's a girl." Ace answered.

"That is a girl. Good job Ace." Alben ruffled his hair.

"Her name is Francy." I said and called Kai to come closer. "She's your age."

Ace numbered on his hands. "She's three."

"Yes she is. You're so smart." I patted his head.

"She's three," Kai said louder.

"Yes she is. You're so smart too." I told Kai and rubbed his back. "Do you want to share a toy with her?"

"No." He hugged his bunny and ran away.

Francy put out her hand towards Ace. Ace took her by the hand and she followed him to his toys.

Mom held Rehan and supervised the children, leaving us the chance to talk.

We went upstairs and Alben dropped down on the bed in a heavy sigh.

I sat next to him watching him lay there. He took my hand and went over the length of my arm with his fingers.

There was an unspoken understanding between us for a moment.

He closed his eyes. "When social services came, the person in charge recognized me. They just asked me if we were interested in fostering and next thing I knew I had agreed to keep her here for few days." He opened his eyes and brought my hand up to his lips kissing it. "I'm sorry. I didn't even talk to you about it. But she just hugged me and my heart..."

I shook my head. "You know I always support your decisions. I was worried about her too, but I just didn't know if I.. I didn't have the guts to say anything."

He pulled me to lay down next to him. "I don't want to let that little girl go, but...this time. I need you to tell me what to do. Please.."

Alben was the type of man who didn't need anyone. He was the one people needed. He was resilient, strong. He could carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and people would believe it was easy. From the moment I had met him, I was surprised by how much depth there was underneath his charming persona.

When he spoke things like this I could feel the love he felt for me. How much he leaned on my support as well. How much he believed in me.

"We have beautiful children. Troublemakers." I smiled.

"Yes we do." He brushed my hair back.

"But you want a girl too. Always have. And we've talked about this many times before. Maybe when the boys are older, I always told you. But we were never ones who went by plan. You'd tell me to pack a bag and there I am, following you to the ends of the world." I smiled. "If you want that girl to have a home, you know there's no better place, than ours."

"Can you handle it?" He asked me.

It was the moment of truth. Something I was considering for quite some time now, but never had the guts or the excuse to say it until now.

"You know I love it being a mom. And I know how much you love being a dad." I said. " Having these kids fill our home with love and laughter cannot compare with anything." I took his hand and held it close to my chest. "But after we came back here and settled down I'm too torn. I can't do the same amount of work in the hospital and take care of the children. I want to be able to be there for them."

He rose on his elbows. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

I nodded. "I want to take some time off from the hospital. Maybe a year or two. I want to raise this family properly." I sighed. "My only worry was if I was going to be able to go back to work after taking a break. A lot can change in two years."

He was serious. "Are you sure of this?"

"I've been thinking about it for quite a while. I'm too tired to be with them when I come home. They are all at a critical stage and I want to pay close attention to them. And my god, I want a girl too. And this one has my heart."

He rose up completely and took my face in his hands. "Then when you do decide to work again, we'll open up something of our own. Something we can both adapt to our schedule."

I grinned. "That sounds amazing."

"I'll work twice as hard."

I brought his hands down. "Nope. I want you to work less. I want you to be home more often and spend time with our boys and Francy, who'll be in our care from now on."

Then I thought of Francy's mom.

"Should we tell her about her parents?" I asked.

He sighed. "I think we shouldn't. Not yet. Can you even imagine how heartbroken she'd be to find out she forgot her own parents,"His eyes carried a vulnerable look. "I can't do that to her."

I laid in his arms. "Then we don't tell her. Not until she asks herself. I can't break her heart either."

He wrapped his arms around me. "I love you. What will I do without you?"

"You'd be a mess." I laughed and rubbed his arm.

"Should we be gone for a few more hours?" He lowered his tone and pressed a kiss on my neck.

I nudged him away laughing. "Hours? You just came from a night shift sir. You're taking a shower and going to sleep."

I got up and he started undressing looking at me with that naughty look on his face.

"Nope. No." I pointed a finger at him and took careful steps back to the door. "Down boy."

I opened the door and whooshed downstairs.

As I went back to the living room Francy was holding Kai's hand and they were both running away from Ace, screaming and laughing. He kept chasing them laughing twice as much.

I pressed a hand over my mouth. I was so happy I was going to cry. She fitted in just fine.



Francy's p.o.v

I looked at mom with blurry eyes. She wiped her own tear that slid down her face.

I touched the inner corners of my eyes trying to push back my tears. "So the reason you didn't want to tell me was because of me. Because I had forgotten my parents."

She touched my chin. "We were scared you will blame yourself."

My nails dug so deep in my palm, I finally felt the pain when I snapped back to reality. "Aren't I to blame? I just wiped two people out of my life like they weren't anyone important."

"You were three years old, Francy." She rubbed my shoulder. "Don't you dare blame yourself! I'm sure if we would have shown you their picture you would have remembered in a second. But that would have meant telling you they were gone. You were so young and smiling all the time that making you go through that, was something I just couldn't allow. So you can blame me and call me selfish okay. Don't blame yourself."

I hugged her breaking into tears. "I'm sorry for making it hard on you too. And thank you for taking me in."

She held me tight.  "I don't want any thank you.. You're my daughter."

I squeezed her tighter, smiling through the tears. "I love you."

"I love you." She repeated and then pulled away placing kisses over my face and wiping my tears. "Let all this sink in. And when you're ready we'll tell you more about your parents." She handed me the paper. "We tried our best in raising you the in the way they would have wanted you to grow up as well."

I clenched the paper in my hands. "This was why Kai and I kept seeing you around on the first day around our school?"

She laughed and nodded.

"And why I couldn't drink alcohol, but the boys could?"

She patted my head ."Sorry."

I covered my mouth laughing. "Remi almost called an intervention for you because of that. She was ready to protest."

Mom laughed. "You really hung in there. I'm proud of you."

I let go of her hand and kissed her cheek. "Let me talk to dad."

I opened the door to the balcony and took a step outside.

Dad was leaned over the rail looking in the sky.

As he heard the door open, he turned towards me alarmed and worried. I could tell he was scared about what I just learned.

I just wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you dad."

"I love you too." He hugged me back kissing the side of my head. "Are you okay?"

"Mmmhm.." I closed my eyes smiling. "I heard you were the one who brought me home when I was left alone."

He squeezed me tighter. "I would do it over in a heartbeat."

I laughed. "You're smothering me..Air pleasee.."

He let go of me, but squeezed my shoulders and smiled. "I ain't trading you for the world kid."

I couldn't help, but grin. "Dad.."

"Mm?" He smiled upon hearing me call him.

"Dad.."

He chuckled. "Whaat?"

I poked his shoulder still smiling. "Dad."

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, laughing and pulled me inside the room. "Let's go kiddo. Your brothers must be worried."

I kept calling out to him, dad, until there were no more traces of worry on his face.




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