Tears are prayers too. They travel to God when we can't speak.
-Psalm 56:8

The next day, she went back to the church. Back to the last pew. Back to stare at the giant Cross. Back to wonder why it had gone wrong so fast and without warning.

'You're here.' She said. Surprise coloured her tone.

He came back.

'Yeah, I figured you'd be here today again...' He trailed off, sitting next to her on the pew. The same one as the previous day.

She nodded slightly and went back to her new favourite pastime, staring at the large Cross above the altar.

A companionable silence enveloped them. She still felt numb inside. Eerily calm. Like the calm before a storm but her storm wasn't coming today. She knew that but she still hoped anyway. Anything would be better than the numbness.

'Why?' She asked after a few minutes.

'Why what?' He frowned.

'Why are you here?' She asked. When she glanced at him, he saw the tears in her eyes but as usual, not a single one fell.

'I said I'd be here when you're ready.' He replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

'When I break.' She quietly corrected. He had no reply for this.

'What I meant is why did you come to me yesterday?' She asked.

His brows creased as  he thought about his reply. A few seconds later, he shrugged.

'I don't know.' He replied honestly. There was just something about the way she sat at last pew in the church, looking like she would rather be anywhere else. Preferably her own funeral. The way she looked like she drowning and had no one to pull her out. The way she looked like she'd lost all hope. The way she still looked. He had seen that and he couldn't help himself. He  had been drawn to her. Like a moth to a flame. He wanted to pull her out of the hole of depression she unknowingly planned on digging for herself.

'I don't know why I feel the need to tell you this. Maybe it's because you're a stranger. I know we attend the university and that you're an altar boy but that's it. I don't know your name. I don't really know who you are. Maybe that's why I want to tell you this. Because you're a stranger. Maybe that makes it easier. Because I don't have to face your judgement or deal with the loss of someone that means something to me when you find out how torn up I am. On the inside.' She sighed. Her voice was so low he could barely hear her.

'I want to ask Him why. Why He had to take my brother away from me. From his family. But I know I shouldn't. Ask why. I keep telling myself He knows best but I can't... I don't believe that. He took my brother away from me and my family. How is that what's best?' Her voice broke on the last sentence. She regarded him with bright glassy eyes.

'How?' She repeated quietly, staring at the Cross. Her shoulders shook slightly but the tears still didn't fall. David's breath caught in his chest and his heart broke slightly for the girl with not just a broken heart but a broken spirit as well.

'I think I hate Him.' She whispered so quietly it took him a second to understand what she meant.

'I think I hate God. And I don't want to. I know I shouldn't and that's it's wrong but He took my brother from me how... How do I not... How am I supposed to not hate Him? How does He expect me to just accept that and be okay with it? Am I meant to be okay with my brother being dead?' Unknowingly, she gripped his hand and squeezed tightly but she soon let go.

'I don't want to hate Him. I don't want to hate God but... right now, that's all I feel. Hate. I know Tom wouldn't want that and that's why I'm trying not to. But it's not working. I don't know how I'm going to face my family. I've been ignoring their calls. How am I going to tell them that I hate God for taking my brother away? How do I tell them that? How do I face them knowing how they'll react if they ever found out? I'm so... My God, I need help.' Her voice cracked and her shoulders fell. All in all, she was the personification of defeat.

Clueless of what words to say to comfort her, David put his arm over her shoulders and drew her closer.

She stiffened at the contact, like she expected him to hurt her in some way. He mentally cursed himself but he didn't pull away.

She sat rigidly with his arms around her but she didn't pull away either. She knew she had to make the effort. She had to let someone be there for her. Even if it was a complete and utter stranger.

'It's okay to feel the way you do right now but you just have to remember that He knows best. He won't give you something you can't overcome. He knows why He took your brother. You just have to trust in Him. Trust His plan for your life.'

Plans to ruin me?

She didn't say it out loud but she might as well have because in the silence that followed, they both heard it loud and clear in the look on her face.

'Plans to give you a hope and a future. To bring you a desired ending.'

Yeah right. I'll believe it when I see it, she thought to herself.

And once again, they spent the next few hours in complete and utter but companionable silence. And when she took his hand in her tight grip, he smiled. She was far from okay but at least she was letting him help her.

Author's Note:

I have no idea what to say in this Author's note. Either way, I'm glad you're still reading. I hope all of that wasn't completely awful.

Let me know your thoughts. Oh and don't forget the Bible verses.

Thanks for reading. Don't forget to vote and/or leave a comment. :)