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....

Karina woke up from the lights that were going through her bedroom window. She yawn once and stretched her arms wide before her mind was brought back to what happened yesterday. Suddenly, she feels terrified again.

Remembering that Winter was together with her since the moment she collapsed yesterday, Karina immediately got up from her bed and headed straight to the living room to find Winter. Thankfully, she saw Winter on the couch, sleeping soundly with a blanket covering her body. The actress smiled happily, knowing that Winter really kept her promise from yesterday.

Don't want to wake up the younger woman, Karina headed straight to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for both of 'em. Suddenly, the moment felt nostalgic because the two women used to be like this a lot in their high school days. Winter always spends her nights at Karina's house, and Karina will always be the one who prepares breakfast for the younger woman.

Suddenly, the thoughts of cooking Kimchi fried rice for Winter popped up. The actress always cooked it for herself, but never for Winter before. She wanted the younger woman to have a taste of her fried rice, and maybe Winter would like it.

While the actress is busy in the kitchen, Winter wakes up by the sounds of the kitchen utensils. She groans once and looks around, remembering the fact that she was at Karina's house.

"Oh, Winter. You're awake!"Karina said happily as she took a glance at the younger woman who was now looking at her with a questioning expression.

"What are you doing?", the younger woman said before getting up from the couch, flashing a little warm smile that Karina didn't get to see before after a really long time.

"Kimchi fried rice," the actress smiled back.

"Oh great. I really miss your kimchi fried rice, "Winter replied before slowly getting closer to the kitchen.

"You've tasted it before?"

"Yeah, like tons of times already," Winter said as she took her seat at the dining table, watching the back view of the actress who was currently cooking.

"Wait- you've tasted my kimchi fried rice before?"Karina turned her body around, facing where Winter is sitting right now. The younger girl strangely nodded her head and still flashed the tiny smile of hers towards the actress, somehow making the actress flutter by the small gesture.

"Yup. But sadly, you can't remember it anymore because of your memory loss, "Winter smirked.

Winter's action today confused Karina a lot. The bodyguard Winter Kim Karina knew will always deny everything related to the actress's memory loss, but just now, the younger woman agreed to it without any hesitation.

Damn. Winter even smiled a lot today.

"Winter, what's wrong- I mean, what's up with you today? You seem... nicer?"Karina blinked her eyes a few times, still looking at Winter full of confusion.

"I think I can't play the cold game more with you, Rina. It's hurt, obviously"

Karina was pretty much stunned. She felt butterflies all over her stomach, and the urge to hug Winter inside her embrace tight was pretty hard for Karina to bear any longer.  Overwhelmed, Karina walked straight towards the younger woman and hugged her tightly while putting her chin on Winter's shoulder.

"Thank you for coming back, Winter. I missed you, "Karina said, letting herself deep in Winter's scent.

....

It's been a while since to communicate with Winter like they usually did back in middle school and high school. It's also been a while since she didn't eat together with Winter like this. The feelings of warmth, calmness, coziness, and strangely familiarness knocked every single of Karina's senses.

It feels so great to have the old Winter again.

"So, Rina. About yesterday..."

"Yesterday, I was so scared, and you can't hear me calling out your name. But still, I'm thankful that you came, Winter".

Karina is looking at Winter, who's currently sitting across her at the dining table. Winter frowned at the memory from yesterday, cursing herself inside her head countless times again after she blamed everything that happened as her fault.

"I'm sorry. I should be with you and stopped anyone who's giving that box to you", Winter sighed heavily before having a mouthful of Karina's fried rice weakly.

"But now you'll always be by my side, right? You've promised, right, Winter?", the actress put her hands together in front of her face, full of hope knowing that Winter will be closer to her again. Winter nods her head and flashed a little smile.

"So now, will you tell me what happened to us that I can't-"

"About that, Rina...", Winter's expression changed into a depressive one again. Despite promising herself to be by Karina's side again, she can't let Karina remember the painful memory of hers.

Let Winter remember it alone, and Winter thought Karina deserve everything besides remembering their tragic days.

"About that... I still can't tell you why...", Winter sighed heavily.

Disappointed. Karina thought Winter will change for the better and let her know more about herself and her lost memories. But since Winter decided to keep it a secret again, Karina couldn't help but feel pain a little bit even tho Winter by her side again is happy news for her.

"It's okay. I understand", the actress said, obviously lying and hiding the pain inside her heart.

....

Karina asked Winter if she can go to the convenience store that night and Winter allowed her without saying much. There are no words to say when Karina saw that Winter is following her by her side together to the convenience store that was only located a few meters away from her house.

As soon as they stepped inside the store, the first thing Karina grabbed from the refrigerator is five cans of beer and two bottles of soju. Seeing how much Karina will spend her money on alcohol, the younger woman stopped her when the actress's hand reach for her sixth can of beer.

"Rina, I think you have enough beer for today", Winter said and Karina stared at the younger woman with a pout.

"Awh, Winter. Why? It's not like I will use your money to pay for this", the actress shrugged before shoving Winter's hand away from her lovely beer.

"But, Rina, alcohol isn't good for you", Winter sighed.

"It's okay, Winter Kim. I can manage this!", Karina shrugged again before putting the sixth beer inside her basket.

....

It's obvious to Winter that the actress was in stress and depressed state that night. Karina literally emptied one bottle of soju and four cans of beer in just fifteen minutes. Winter doesn't know if the reason for Karina to drink this much came from how terrified she is with her current incident or the fact that Winter still wants to be secretive with her.

Karina opened the fifth can of beer and take a little sip of it before placing it back on her messy coffee table in the living room. Winter was watching her every movement from the couch, and thankfully drunk Karina didn't behave as crazy as other drunk people should.

Karina cries and cries, but never a single word came out of her mouth. As Winter keeps watching her, the actress suddenly turns her head over towards Winter. Karina's eyes are pinkish red, and Winter had enough tries and errors to stop the actress from drinking.

"Winter...", it's the first word Karina said since she became drunk as hell.

"Yes, Rina".

"Remember when I tell you that I saw we kissed inside my head?", Karina sobs while hugging an empty soju bottle. Winter sigh once before nodding her head.

"Since that day, I can't stop thinking about the truth behind our relationship. When I asked you for an explanation, you will always say no!", Karina pointed the bottle in front of Winter's face, which succeed to make the younger woman flinch.

"But Winter! My heart is hurt!"

Karina wails like a puppy and Winter couldn't stop herself from scoffs. She tilts her head sideways before flashing the actress a warm smile. "And why is that, Rina?".

"My heart is hurt because it keeps beating when I remember you! My head hurts when I want to remember you!", the actress said.

"Winter! I hate you! I am hurt because of you!", she continued before crying while hugging the soju bottle again.

Winter knew that Karina is drunk and her statement about her pain might be true or just total bullshit, but Karina's words just now succeed to make the younger woman hate herself much more.

Why not? Karina deserves to hate her. The accident that happened two years ago was totally Winter's fault. Someone wanted Winter to die but Karina took her place instead. Thankfully, the actress didn't die from it despite how critical she is from the accident.

Now Karina was telling her that her heart and her head are hurt also because of Winter. Winter always think since the accident two years ago that Winter did not deserve this beautiful woman in front of her which she dearly love since high school.

Hell, Winter will even die for Karina. She loves her that much.

"I'm sorry that I'm hurting you, Rina. I'm also sorry that I still hurt you until this day..."

Heads down as Winter tried her best to hold her tears. Her eyes were captured by the view of her army-style necklace and Karina's ring.

It's Karina's wedding ring, which Winter kept right after the accident happened. While Winter's ring is at her house, kept shut inside her wardrobe for this whole two years.

Since that day, Winter decided to keep everything about their relationship away from Karina, who is still lawfully her wife. The solid fact that the accident two years ago because of Karina's connections with Winter is the main reason why Winter tried everything she can not to let anyone nor even Karina who lost her memories remember or know again that Winter had a family member.

A family member that can be in danger, in Winter's place.

So Winter did it. From emptying their newlywed home, fabricating the car owner's policy, and even requesting the police to send the actress back to her parents' home in Gangnam.

It's all Winter's doings because she doesn't want Karina to be in danger ever again.

Winter remember clearly how she came to the hospital two years ago in such a mess state after hearing the news from the police. Five broken ribs, seventy stitches, broken hands, brain trauma, cuts all over her body. Karina even end up in a coma state for two weeks.

Can Winter go through that again? Hell no.

Winter doesn't want let that to happen again.

But despite how secretive Winter is with her agency about her marriage, it isn't surprising that suddenly Winter was assigned to be the actress's bodyguard. Because the agency didn't even know who Winter Kim married to.

"You are right, Rina. You really deserve to hate me...", few drops of tears came down from the younger woman's cheeks and despite being awfully drunk, Karina saw it.

"Oh- Winter, no", the actress climbed up onto the couch, sitting right next to Winter with her frowning face. Karina cupped both Winter's cheeks softly before turning the younger woman's head to face her.

"Winter, I said no! This is also what hurts me!", the actress confessed with a huff and Winter was not in a position to say anything about it.

"Winter Kim, don't you hear me? When you are crying, you are hurting me!"

Winter looked deep inside Karina's hazy drunk orbs. Hazel brown and shimmering beautifully in front of her right now. But the guilt always succeed to eat Winter from the inside, and so the sobs from Winter didn't stop. Karina pouted full of disappointment.

"Oh my gosh! Why are you so stubborn? Are you trying to kill me right now, Winter?", Karina frowned her eyebrows as she keep getting closer to the crying Winter.

Without second thoughts, the actress put her lips on the younger woman. It was just a soft peck that lasted for two seconds and the moments Karina pulled her face away from Winter, the younger woman is now stopped crying.

"Oh, it stopped? It's working", Karina cheered, smiling sheepishly towards Winter who was now eyes looking sharp into flushed drunk Karina.

Winter couldn't hold it any more, so she put her right hand behind Karina's head and pulled the actress closer for a passionate deep kiss. The familiarity hits Karina somehow as their lips moved in sync. The kiss they had right now sure hits differently and Winter can't help it for the moment.

She missed her wife.

A lot.