Letters to Jersey (Entry 3)
https://youtu.be/dmqP8S5nAno
*NOTE: Check out the Audiobook version of this chapter by clicking the Youtube link above! This was voiced by kaelking12 (Kristen M)! Featuring music by Christina Perri.
Elias
Dear Jersey,
I want to tell you something NOBODY knows,
I've known for awhile, but I fought it because I thought it was something I couldn't show.
A series of firsts and lasts and the shift in between. A partial piece of just how much you mean to me...because only now do I realize that untold and unseen isn't how we were ever meant to be.
When I first met you, I found you in the same place I'd left myself.
For me, twelve months past a horrible situation, complete with a ghost that was far from six feet under in my mind.
And, six.
Six months.
Six months was half the time of mine when you passed your event that made us bet our pasts against each other. But it turned out that we were only mirror images of one another.
Same weight.
Same hurt.
Same pain carried like the other.
But farther. I pushed myself. AWAY. That cover. I used it and tried to run. The way I tried to make it a game.
But you were never just a game.
Your name.
FOREVER SET on SKIN.
And, it can't get any closer to my heart, babe.
I placed a cryptic ODE in ink, but somehow my silence made you think the worst in what I'd done.
That BET.
FOREVER SET. The Hurt.
And, all it did was make things worse.
For US.
First thought it sends to the front of my mind is how you think I lied the whole time.
That I'd use you.
But I'd never use you.
I was just so scared to lose you.
I've always been too scared to lose.
But at this point, with nothing said and all things done. There's one thing I hold onto.
That last look you gave when I took the easy way out. It's the first thing I pull from when I want to TAP OUT. It's the only thing there at the front of my mind. And for the first time, in a long time, there are no GHOSTS in sight.
JUST YOU.
In this vision of light.
It's one of the few rare moments when all feels--
RIGHT--
before you turned your back, and walked away. You SMILED. And, I couldn't say anything.
It was the most beautiful thing.
Just a little bit broken with some shyness In between.
And that smirk you work like no other JERSEY queen can.
Man, you had me even more right then...
In that leopard print tankini and "too smart" for me grin.
I miss it.
And you.
And how you call my shit.
Or how you were the only one who could deal with it, in a way that NOBODY else can.
NOBODY made me better.
Like you.
And, how you know the words I always miss use, or how you always pick up on those heavier cues NOBODY ever wanted to see.
Because you took ME for ME.
On both of those east and west coast beaches.
You took a broken boy and went to the furthest reaches to make him see that he mattered.
That he could pick up the pieces in a world that he shattered.
I'm sorry if I did it again.
To YOU.
It's NOT what I ever meant to do.
I just hope you'll be okay. Like maybe you're better off without me.
So, when I see you again. And, babe,
I WILL.
I pray I find you in a better place.
With a smile shaping the curves of your face--
And, that look.
The one that shook me to the core.
The one that made it hard to ignore everything I was feeling when all the while, my past was catching up with me again.
Creating this trial for two.
You found me in the same place back then. Your eyes mirrored mine as your lips curved into a GRIN. And, I can't deny what we said in that moment.
In a very different silence...
through and through
was
NOTHING but a beautiful--
I.
LOVE.
YOU.
And, that's the truth.
BECAUSE MIRRORS
DON'T
LIE.
And, you...were always
Mine.
-Elias
***
NOTE: This Letters to Jersey entry was ENTIRELY written by kaelking12 so show her some love for the fantastic work she's done! This is her WATTPAD debut! Super proud of you bestie! #collaboration
(Thank you guys so much for reading/listening! Next update will be on the weekend! So sorry about the delays this time!The last week has been a tough one so thank you guys for being so patient!)
PS: Exciting news! Cheater. Faker. Troublemaker is a FINALIST in the thefictionawards so if you wanna help support the book in the contest, head over to their profile and click on "The Fiction Awards" book, and leave an in-line comment with "+1" written next to CFTM to help the story in the contest! In-line "+1" comments count as votes and YOU CAN VOTE AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT. So have fun! :).
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