https://youtu.be/z8h8lu3r328

*Note: Click the Youtube link above to listen to the Audiobook Version of this chapter voiced by Kristen Maglonzo featuring music by Dean Lewis, Luav, Luhx, Alex and Sierra, and Big Data.

Elias

My dad didn't show.

Nine thirty AM.

No missed calls.

No missed texts.

He's just missing.

And, I'm trying not to miss him, but I do.

I hate that I do. I hate that I need him to be here, that I want somebody in my own family to talk me down and take my mind off of what happened back at that station. But, I don't have anyone.

Nobody on my side.

Nobody in my corner.

Except her.

Jersey's still asleep. Her head's propped up against the window, and she's so quiet I keep having to check to see if she's still breathing. The girl could sleep anywhere and through just about anything. At least that much about her hasn't changed.

She totally knocked out after the first night we were together which was crazy weird because most girls can't sleep after something like that.

Especially after being with someone like me.

Lacey cried. She held onto me for hours, quietly sobbing into my chest because she knew things between me and her were gonna be different.

But Jersey, just--snored.

She drooled all over my arm like it was any other night. Like nothing between me and her had changed--even though everything had.

She walked out of that situation so much stronger than I expected her to.

Bold instead of broken.

And, I fell for that.

I fell for how unbreakable, unchangable, and un-fucking-believable she was.

How un-fucking-believable she still is.

I'm still rattled by her--and the fact that no matter which way she sleeps her nose still sounds like a fast-moving freight train.

It's disturbing.

And terrible.

And weird.

But it's her.

And I've missed her.

Sometimes, I scare myself into thinking that this whole situation isn't real, and that I'll wake up back at Bellevue.

Alone.

But then reality reminds me that I'm miles away from all that, and that the girl who used to be miles away is right next to me now.

The only problem is, I'm not allowed to touch her the way I want to--and, God, I want to. I'm not sure if it's because I've missed her or if it's because I know she's the only person who can take my mind off of how shitty life's been, but I want what I want.

And I want her.

I crack open the car door, slowly, and step outside into the salty air because I need to breathe. But the second I do, the buzz of my phone in my back pocket knocks the wind out of me. I stare down at the screen and see "Dad" pop up in the caller ID. I stand there shaking, wondering whether I should answer the call or let him ring to voicemail for the rest of his fucking life. But I swallow my worst intentions and swipe open the screen.

I still need him.

I need this phone call.

I need my dad.

Even if he doesn't need me.

Incoming Call from "Dad" :

EK: Hello?

MK: You called.

EK: Yeah. I just--

MK: You called me fifteen times after midnight, Elias. This better be important.

EK: What are you talking about?

I click on my outgoing calls and see a series of them directed to my dad about one to two minutes apart.

Jersey.

I figured she'd try to pull something once I passed out earlier.

The girl never gives up.

I guess she wanted him to be here as badly as I did, and I can't fault her for trying. At least, she cared enough to try. he didn't even make the effort to show.

MK: We have one rule, Eli. No contact at the office unless it's--

EK: It was an emergency. I went through hell at that fucking station, and the only thing you care about is me calling you too many times?

MK: What you do isn't my business. You've made that clear to me time and time again. I'm simply respecting your limits despite the fact that you can't seem to respect mine.

EK: I needed your help, Dad.

MK: And I helped you. I posted your bail without asking questions, which is generous enough considering your record.

EK: Fuck you.

MK: You know, I keep hoping that you'll grow up. That one of these days you'll realize how much I've actually done for you. Most parents in my position wouldn't have spent the money or time to get you out of another situation that you created yourself.

EK: That I created? I had a fucking panic attack in the middle of the highway, and some racist asshole pulled me over and kicked the shit out of me because he thought my pills were drugs. How is any of this my fault?

MK: What are you talking about?

EK: If you'd actually showed up tonight, you could've seen what he did to my face, but you wouldn't even pick up the phone, sir.

MK: Are you hurt?

EK: What the fuck do you think?

MK: Did you get the officer's name at least?

EK: Yeah. Why does it matter?

MK: Because I'm a lawyer, and you're still my son. How long are you in town for?

EK: Just today. My girl--my friend and I head back to LA tomorrow.

MK: Come by the house later. I'm having a barbecue this afternoon for a couple of guys at the firm, and I think that we could set aside some time to talk.

EK: We don't talk, Dad. Every time we try, things go wrong.

MK: Which is exactly why I want you to come by when there are other people around. It'll keep us grounded, and it'll be good to let some of my guys know what happened. You might have a case we can pick up.

EK: Fine, but I'm bringing someone with me. If that's gonna be a problem, then I'm not coming.

MK: It's not a problem. But I don't want this 'someone' to be a girl you're screwing.

EK: That's hilarious coming from you.

MK: Your mother and I were never going to work out, and for the record, I never brought home my extracurricular activities.

EK: You didn't have to. We all knew what you were doing. Especially mom.

MK: I'm not here to discuss your mother with you. I'm here to tell you my rules if you're going to come to my house. If that girl isn't a significant other, she's not welcome. My associates are family men with stable wives and children. I expect you to blend in. You're only as good as the woman at your side.

EK: Then I'm golden. Alex is my girlfriend, Dad. She's the best thing that I--

MK: I don't care what she is as long as she behaves herself in front of my guests.

EK: And I don't want you acting like an asshole in front of my girlfriend.

MK: Fine. Be at the house . Dress accordingly. Business casual. No street clothes. Are we clear?

EK: Crystal.

MK: See you this afternoon.

Call ended.

I hang up the phone but keep staring at the screen long after my dad's name fades to black.

I should be grateful that he said he'd help me and that he's "willing to talk", but I know better than to believe anything he says. Everything he does always has strings, a thousand little lines that always lead back to him benefitting in the long run.

He isn't in this to help me. He smells a misconduct case in the water, and him and his sharks at the firm are out for blood.

If King, Brooks, and Jones LLC took on the San Diego police department and won, they'd be all over the news. Dad would make another couple mill, and he'd use what happened to me to pave the way straight to his bank account.

Everybody else around the great Malcolm King thinks he's some kind of hero, but I know who he is, who he's always been, which is why I need Jersey here. I need her to know the other half of where I come from, the darker half of who I am, so she understands me. So I don't add anymore secrets between the two of us then there already are.

My mind kicks into overdrive just thinking about everything I still need to tell her--and how every single one of those truths will probably drive her away.

I don't want her to know about Mindy. Or that I nearly had a daughter with her. Or that at one point, I was almost ready to buy into a life, a kid, and a girl I didn't choose.

Jersey finding out how my dad is is one thing. But her knowing what happened with Mindy would break her heart. And I'm not ready to do that again.

Not until I know there's a solid chance that she'll let me fix it.

I turn towards the car, cock my foot back, and start kicking the shit out of the back wheel. I need to hit something. I need to beat out the chaos raging around my head before I drive myself crazy thinking, remembering, and feeling way more than I should.

My chucks crash against the tire over and over again, but I barely feel it. I shift my focus to the rusted metal hub caps and wait for the pain to the drown out the noise buzzing between my ears. I open my mouth to try to scream out my frustration, to yell until the memory of everything that happened since last night disappears, but my sound fades into the silence.

My eyes burn like hell, but I screw them shut before I lose control.

I hate that I feel this small and this weak because of people like my father and that officer. People who drag me under their feet. Who crush me.

But this is how it's always been. This is how it'll always be.

I'll drown in my father's shadow while the only light in my life slips through my fingers.

It's just a matter of time before she leaves.

Before she sees too much truth and decides that she can't take it.

So all I've got is borrowed time. And I want to make the most of it before she's gone.

"Elias?"

I look over and catch Jersey standing across the car, staring at me, eyes big, round, and all too worried about me again. I gotta stop doing this to her. I gotta stop doing this to myself.

"Morning. Sorry, I--"

"Are you okay? It's early, and it's cold. You shouldn't be out here in a t-shirt," she says.

Jersey walks over wrapped in this itchy-as-balls hemp blanket Indigo had stashed away in the back of her car. She slides up next to me and hands it over without thinking twice about herself.

"Here. Bundle up. I have no plans to hangout with a human popsicle later, so don't even try to reject the offer."

She's tiny. She'll turn blue way before I do. But I take the blanket anyway and pull her under it with me so nobody's cold. Problem solved.

"Offer accepted. I like this blanket already," I say.

I lightly wrap my arms around her waist and wait for her to slap me, but she doesn't. She leans back against my body like she belongs there, and looks up at me with a thousand questions scribbled across her face.

"I heard you talking on the phone earlier. Did you finally get ahold of your dad?"

"Yeah. Thanks to your little telemarketing spree he actually called me back."

I take in a breath and try to force the pressure building in my chest back out into the air.

"I'm sorry for calling him so many times, I just wanted him to answer you. How'd the conversation go? Is he coming?"

"It was alright. He's not gonna show up here, but he wants me to go by the house later so we can 'talk'. God knows how that's gonna turn out ."

Jersey places her hands on top of mine and squeezes.

"It'll be fine, Elias. You're a King, remember? You can handle anything." She says.

"Sure, anything except my dad. He was the first King in the family so, right or wrong, whatever he says goes."

Jersey shakes her head till her bun comes lose, and her hair goes tumbling down over her bare shoulders. I physically have to restrain myself from running my hands through it.

"You're not a kid anymore, Elias. if he tries to tell you what to do, stand up for yourself. Or you can just call me in there, and I'll crack him in the nose. I've got a mean right hook."

She jumps away from me, whips around, and starts play punching my arm like a prize fighter. She's barely been up ten minutes and she's got me wishing I could kiss and tell her that I'm more grateful for her than she understands.

"You're nuts, you know that?" I say.

She straightens up and brushes a tuft of hair out of her face before she answers me.

"It runs in the family. You've met my parents. Craziness in the Summer's household isn't exactly news."

"Yeah, well. Fucked up tendencies run strong through the King family so, don't be too shocked if I turn into my dad one day. He's a monster, so chances are that I won't fall too far from that tree."

"You're not anything like him, Elias. And your not going to be anything like him. You know that right?"

I wish that were true, Jersey.

"I don't know who I'm gonna turn into. And sometimes I don't know if I wanna find out. Anyway, we should get going, I've got a couple things I need to get done before this afternoon."

I slide out from behind her, step off the car, and try to escape into the driver's seat before she can continue the conversation, but she grabs me by the edge of the t-shirt and stops me dead.

"You--"

She lifts her hand and puts it on the center of my chest. I remember the first time she did this. I was so annoyed at her back then that I almost didn't see the heart in the gesture. I do now. I feel what she's saying before she says a word.

"--are not your father. Have a little faith in yourself, Elias. I know I do."

But for how long, J?

"Do you really? I thought you didn't trust me anymore. It's fine if you don't. I haven't exactly given anyone reasons to trust me. Not you, not Lacey, not even my own family."

Quiet hurt washes over her face at the sound of the truth.

"But, I'm learning how to trust you. And yeah, sometimes I freak out or worry about you more than I should, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop believing in you. You came back to find me after a year, Elias. That says a lot."

That says more than you understand.

"Yeah, well, I'll work on the whole faith thing, if you promise to stick with me today. I'm gonna need you, babe."

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

She eyes the hell outta me until I catch my mistake, but I'm not even sorry about it.

"What was what?" I ask just casually enough to get under her skin.

"The 'babe' thing? I'm pretty sure that's a friendship pact violation."

I lean in closer to her than she's prepared for and smile my way right through her rules.

"So is low key grinding up on me against a car and shaking your hair everywhere like you're in a commercial. You're lucky I was in a shitty mood or the Little King would've said good morning to you right then and there. Real talk."

Her mouth drops open, and her cheeks flare up like a sky full of fireworks.

"Elias that was--I was just trying to--"

"No need to explain. I know what you were doing, flirty birdy. It's cool. I definitely didn't hate it."

She stomps off to the passenger's side and pops inside without closing the door behind her.

"This is what I get for trying to do something nice for you!" She shouts back my way.

"You're right. It was nice, and it felt nice. You're a very nice girl, Jersey. Let me return the favor and show you how nice I can be. "

I shut her door, slide across the hood, and jump back in the car to find her sitting there noticeably still hot and bothered. She glances over my direction and blows a tuft of air out of her nostrils--probably to cool herself down.

"You know, I'm trying my best to make this whole friendship thing work, but you keep making me--"

"Nervous?"

"Uncomfortable."

"Same thing."

I glance down at her legs, and they're pressed together so tightly they're shaking. Holy shit. She might want it as bad as I do.

"Uncomfortable is good. I'd like to see you live on the wild side for a change. But, that's probably too much for somebody like you."

"I can be wild," she says.

Bait taken.

"Sure."

"I can! Throw the wildest thing you can think of at me, and I'll do it."

Take off your seat belt, lean back, and let me tear you out of those clothes with my teeth. You game?

"You sure about that, Jersey? I'm known to play dirty."

She nods and throws a cocky little smile my way. She wouldn't be smiling if she knew what I was thinking about.

"Do your worst."

If only you'd let me.

"This isn't my worst, but it'll drive you crazy."

"Spill it!"

"I'm taking you to my dad's--"

Jersey flinches a little but manages to hide her mini-panic behind a smile.

"Oh. Okay. That's not so bad. I thought you were gonna do something drastic like, make me eat bugs, tell me to skydive, or --"

"--to introduce you as my girlfriend."

***

(Part Two will be coming out next weekend! Thank you guys for waiting so long for this update! It has been an insane couple of weeks and Kristen and I have read all of your wonderful messages requesting that we update! We missed you guys! We're so excited to finally be able to share this new chapter & audio with you! What did you guys think of the recording? Can't wait to share the next part of the story with you!)