"She's my daughter, isn't she?"

• ♡ •

"Papa, you said you'll give me the gift after everyone leaves!" Advika reminded her father a few minutes after everyone had left. 

"Yes, I did," Kabir smiled, "Close your eyes and wait till I get it." Kabir spoke walking towards Advika's room. Heer sat beside Advika looking on curiously. She had a nice time at the party but was now very exhausted.

Kabir walked out and presented Advika with a big box. Heer was as curious as Advika to know what was inside it. The two had their jaws dropping as they pulled out a gown. 

"You got her Belle's gown!" Heer exclaimed in sheer surprise looking at the yellow gown. 

"Oh my God, it is so pretty!" Adviak gushed touching the fabric. "Can I try it on?"

"Not now sweetie, you can try it on after bath tomorrow." Heer told her and then kissed her cheek, wrapping her arms around her. 

Advika agreed, "Thank you, Paa!" She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. 

Kabir smiled while Advika turned to Heer. "Gift?"

"I just gave you a kiss! That's your gift." Heer grinned while Advika frowned.

"Mom!"

"What?"

"Mom," Advika whined looking at Heer with hopeful eyes.

Heer chuckled, "Okay, close your eyes!" 

Advika happily closed her eyes. Heer pulled out the box from behind her that she had kept ready. She opened it and took out the locket. It was Kabir's turn to be surprised. He saw the sign of one of the best jewellers in the country. He looked on as Heer slipped the silver chain around his daughter's neck. His eyes drifted up to her smile. "Open," she whispered.

Advika opened her eyes her hands immediately flying to her neck. "Oh, mom, this is so pretty."

"You like it?" Heer asked.

"Love it, I will wear it all the time."

"No sweetie, not to school. But you can wear it when we go out." Heer told her.

Advika smiled looking at the locket. A star shape with a small A carved on it. 

"Is there a meaning behind this locket?" Advika asked Heer.

Heer grinned, "Yes, it means be your own star!" 

Advika smiled widely and shifted close to Kabir, "Paa, does it look good?"

Kabir's gaze landed on the locket. It was a very elegant and small piece, absolutely aesthetic. "It's very pretty!" He said.

Advika smiled widely, turning back to hug Heer. Heer wrapped her arms around Advika as she landed on her. Her eyes met Kabir's. Thank you, he mouthed and a slow smile grew on Heer's face.

Advika had already eaten a lot of snacks to have any place for dinner. Kabir tucked her into bed while Heer put her new gifts in her room. They both made it to the kitchen later to have a little dinner.

"Heer, you didn't have to gift her something so expensive," Kabir spoke up once theys had settled beside each other on the kitchen stools.

Heer managed to pull her lips into a smile, "She's my daughter, isn't she?" She asked, looking into his eyes. "Kabir, I know a part of you feels I am.."

"She is," he answered cutting her off, looking back at his plate.

"You were missing Varsha weren't you?"

"I was," Kabir answered without sparing a glance her way. "But still, she's too young for that expensive gift."

"I know, but I always want her to have it. We were seeing this movie the other day..."

"I got that!" Kabir passed her a small smile. "You did give a nice meaning to that locket!"

Heer chuckled softly.

"Heer," Kabir decided to address the dragon in the room, who had been burping fire on him.

"Hmm," 

"Do you like Dev?"

Heer paused and turned to look at Kabir, "What!"

Kabir shrugged his shoulders slightly, "you two seem to get along well!"

"Kabir! " Heer muttered with wide eyes. Granted she thought Dev was handsome. Admitted that she enjoyed his company but no way. "If you mean in a platonic way, yes. But if you mean it anything more than that no. What makes you think that I would... forget that, even though we don't share a ... an intimate relationship but you do understand that I am still married to you."

Kabir stared at her, "That's what I am trying to ask Heer, is this marriage stopping you or him from..."

"No, Kabir." Heer said quickly. "I don't know what makes you think that I might be interested in Dev... in that way. If it's the time we spend together then it's only because we can be comfortable on stage. I really don't want you to think anything else about him" Heer spoke looking at him.

Kabir nodded silently.

"And as far as our marriage is concerned. I know it's namesake. But I am not going to disrespect it."

"I wasn't accusing you Heer, I just asked," Kabir said glancing at her. Was she lying to him or did she mean it?

"I know," Heer muttered finishing her dinner. She picked up her plate and took it to the already filled sink which was the first time Heer was seeing in the kitchen. She decided to start washing them.

"Leave them, Heer. Hema Taai will come early tomorrow, she will bring along someone to help clean the mess. It's been a long day you should sleep."

Heer nodded turning on her heels, making her way out. Kabir was lost in his thoughts. Why did she get so bothered if what he said wasn't true? He didn't accuse her. He just asked her, like a friend would. 

He entered the room minutes later, after making sure the windows and doors were shut. She was applying lotion to her arms. That's the last thing he would want to see. With every passing day he felt more desperate especially at nights. She slept on the freaking same bed an arm's length away. How he wished that they could be more close. 

He silently made his way to the bathroom for a shower. He was confused about his feelings. He just didn't want her to be physically close to him. But he wanted all that she shared with Dev. He wanted her to laugh, giggle, make faces, put and roll her eyes at him. He wanted her to tap at his arm when he said something that offended her the slightest. He wanted her time. He wanted her for himself.

He stepped out of the shower to find her snuggled under the comforter. He sighed. He wanted Heer like a proper wife. He wanted to be her husband in the bona fide sense.

He sat on the bed still post in his thoughts. When the hell did she become so important? When did she become something more than a mother figure to Advika? He closed his eyes. He had stopped feeling guilty for wanting a real relationship with her. He just didn't how to get her to understand that. Ever since the kiss they had shared, Heer generally kept away from him. He didn't know how to convey to her that he wanted to start afresh with her. 

* * *

The theater was in the final week of their preparations. Heer was passionate about this. She finally felt satisfied with her life. The schedule had become hectic lately. Thankfully, Kabir was understanding and she could count on Dev for her odd times of travel. At times, she waited for him to complete his scenes, and at others he waited. She liked the friendship she shared with Dev. But after Advika's birthday Heer tried to maintain a distance from Dev and stopped talking about him to Kabir unless where necessary. 

Advika had started growing irritable. Heer could understand that she was missing her around. It was just a matter of a month or so more and then things would eventually fall back to normal. 

"Hey," Heer greeted as Kabir opened the door.

"Hey," he greeted back. 

"Where is Advi?" Heer asked as she git rid of her sandals. It was only a few minutes past nine on the clock.

Kabir let out a brief sigh before saying, "I just put her to bed. She's running a slight fever. She would have got wet in the rain." He spoke.

"Oh, did you .."

"Yes, gave her the syrup after dinner." He spoke walking to the kitchen. 

Heer quickly rushed to freshen up. She felt guilty. She didn't even know how Advika's tests were going.  She was supposed to be her mother. Maybe she was failing at it because she put herself before Advika. 

After changing into her night clothes, Heer silently slipped inside the other room to check on Advika. Her face was flushed and she was fast asleep. She leaned and caressed her hair as gently as she could. She checked her forehead, it was still warm. She stood watching her face. She didn't want to let Advika down as she had been let down by her parents. With guilt spreading throughout her nerves she walked out. 

"You checked on her?" He asked looking up when Heer walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah," Heer replied softly, and then quietly put two plates.

"I already had dinner with Advi," Kabir spoke noticing the two plates that she had set out.

"Oh, okay," she replied putting one plate back. Kabir looked on as her eyes never looked up. She was unusually silent. 

"Are you okay?" He asked dishing out the pullao onto the plate.

"Yeah," she pressed a tight lipped smile.

He went about organizing his kitchen while she ate. "Are you going to send her to school tomorrow?" He heard her ask.

"No, I think she needs to rest. I hope she's okay by tomorrow. The rainy weather will just make it worse for her. She had a running nose when she came back.  Anyway it's just tests, I don't give a damn if she misses them."

Heer nodded in agreement.

Afte the dinner, Heer stepped out in the balcony. The scent of rains and wet earth always made ber feel better. For the first time she thought that she actually was failing as Advika's parent. Slow minutes passed. Heer stood waiting for the guilt to evaporate and escape into the night sky. But it did not.

"Heer, what's wrong?" She heard Kabir's voice and turned he read slightly to notice him walk inside and stand beside her.

"Nothing, just wanted..." Heer paused when she saw the expression on Kabir's face that had 'I know you're lying' written in bold. She remained silent. After a few minutes she felt his hand over hers.

She took a deep breath and turned fully to look at him, letting her elbow rest on the railing. "I feel guilty. I am just not being there for Advika when she needs me. I let her down. Maybe I am not a good parent, Kabir." Her gaze drifted away from his face feeling ashamed.

"Are you kidding Heer?" Kabir exclaimed holding her hand in both his hands. "You're a wonderful mother."

Heer looked at him with guilt written all over face. "I don't want her to hate me, like I don't like my mother. I don't want to let her down. I suck when it comes to..."

"You don't," Kabir cut her off stepping closer. His hand reached up to her chin to make her look up at him. "Heer, Advika loves us. We are a family. There maybe times when we feel we're not there for others, there maybe times when there is a little soreness but that's what happens in families. As for Advika, she loves you Heer. If you take my word on it, I think she loves you more than she has ever loved Varsha."

Heer stared at him with glassy eyes.

"What I meant was, you're maybe taking it hard on yourself... you're a wonderful mother. Advika adores you and looks up to you."

Heer sniffed, "Kabir, it's not about that, it's about me putting myself before Advika. I am being selfish and mothers aren't supposed to be that way. Advika gave me a purpose in life, Kabir. After Daadi passed away I didn't know what to do of my life, I lived to take care of her. She was gone, and I was just aimless in life. And then Advika came and I just had this gut feeling that she was what I needed. Just when another thing comes by... I put her second on the list. How am I better than my own mother?"

Kabir couldn't help but fall a little more in love with the woman standing before him. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders. "Heer, you're overthinking okay. It's just the hectic practice schedule and your worry for Advika's health, that's making you think that way. You're everything that Advika and me could ask for. Stop weighing your worth against others. You are you. And I am positive you won't let Advika down ever."

A tear slipped down Heer's one eye and she nodded. Kabir rubbed that tear away using his thumb and diminished the distance between them, taking her in for a hug.

Heer felt his one arm wrap around her shoulders protectively while the other snaked around her waist. She closed her eyes putting both her hands on his lower back. She was amazed how he was always there for her. No one had ever cared for her so much. 

She loosened her hold when his palms began rubbing her back. Being so close to him wasn't a good idea. She didn't want to complicate things between them by letting the stupid hormonal desires over power. 

Kabir felt home with her in his arms. He wanted more of this. More of them. He pulled away when he sensed her move backwards. Their gazes locked as the inches gap between them elongated . Kabir let out a breath of air looking aside momentarily. Maybe this was the time. "Heer, I had been wanting to tell you something..." 

"Yeah?" She asked looking up at him. Kabir had never felt so nervous before. 

"I like you," he said softly, looking straight into her eyes as though opening out his heart for him.

Heer smiled amused and glanced up, "If you're saying.." she paused midway as his eyes met hers. "You..." her voice trailed as her eyes looked at him bearing her question.

"I know, I said that I wasn't looking for a romantic involvement or for a wife in proper sense when we first met. But Heer, over the past few months we have spent together... I have started liking you. I know you like me too, but maybe you still think I don't want anything between us." He just spoke aloud whatever words came to his mind at the moment. "Heer, what I am saying is, I want to be more than just Advika's father to you."

Heer simply looked at him stumped. "Kabir," she said and then shut her mouth not knowing what she must say. "I..."she struggled to find the right words. "I never thought of it that way... I know, that... I mean we are married but... we ..." Heer groped for the right words. "I don't see you that way!"

Kabir stared at her letting his hands drop from her elbows. "Heer, I know this is, not something you were expecting. I am not asking you to decide right away what you want. I am just letting you know that I have... developed feelings for you. That kiss did mean something to me, Heer. And I.."

Heer looked on panicking, "Kabir, you don't understand. We are happy the way we are. Why do you want to complicate things between us? I understand that staying together... does make this," she moved her fingers in the air between them, back and forth, "Come into existence. But it didn't, it doesn't mean we have to..." she sighed looking aside. Starting a proper relationship with Kabir was the last thing she wanted to do.

Kabir frowned. Over the past few days he had been sure that Heer had feelings for him that she buried away because he didn't want a relationship. She told him she liked him and then she told Rajeev that she loved him. She shared things that mattered to her, her feelings, her inner turmoil with him. He couldn't understand why she was backing off when he was taking the first  step towards her. 

"But you said you liked me... why are you.." Kabir asked softly.

"Kabir, I like you!" Heer exclaimed, "I do, but not in that way. I like you for the person you are. You are a wonderful person, Kabir."

Kabir was hurt would be an understatement. Was she doing this to get even with him? Had his honesty during their first meeting hurt her? He was puzzled and irked. "Heer, am I missing something? You told me you like me and you told Rajeev that you loved me, I don't understand."

"I never said that!" Heer blurted out finding it absurd.

"You did Heer, I heard that!" Kabir argued.

Heer sighed placing her hand on her forehead, rubbing it slightly, then she looked at him. "I didn't mean it even if I said it. I don't remember saying that. I was just trying to tell him that I love what I have and would never leave it for him."

Kabir blinked understanding, he slowly nodded. "I understand," he muttered turning on his heels. Feeling hurt and mad at himself for going the extra mile only to be rejected. 

Waiting for your thoughts after this one! 👀