what am I thinking about?

nothing.

I'm just laying

next to him

in a warm,

cozy bed

that's soft

like his heart

and smells

like his shampoo.

"what are you

thinking about?"

he asks me.

I smile and say,

"you."

because that's

what you are

supposed to say

(and it's true,

he is always

somewhere in my thoughts

even if I

don't know it).

he kisses my cheek

and ruffles my hair.

he slings an arm

carefully over my shoulders

and I lean my head

on his chest.

he smells as if

he'd been working in

strawberry fields

all summer long.

I wonder if I

smell like strawberries

once I walk

away from him.

but I won't be

gone forever.

I treasure the time

I spend with will

and his

strawberry-scented,

golden hair.

am I think about anything else?

I'm think about

the winter days that

I sat drawing by

my window sill,

trees and birds and

hearts made of them,

and I felt warm arms

over my shoulders,

across my collar bones,

against my shirts and

cold skin.

all the times he

did something new

and I

liked it,

like the jokes

he made when I

cried into his chest,

all the goofy

cosplays

that I posted pictures of,

all the

"yes or no" questions

that I always said

"no" to,

and he'd act as if

I said "yes."

all the butterflies

he stirred in me,

as if I

were in a musical.

I freaking love how he

falls asleep before I do

when he's trying to

put me to sleep.

I just adore

how he

kisses my cheeks and head

when he thinks

I'm not awake.

it is so perfect

when he smiles

because help do it over

nothing

and turn it into

everything

and find some way

to make me do it too.

so as I sit here

on the floor

looking at my

golden boy,

I think about him and

him, and

him, and

him.

somehow all my

shooting stars

have aligned and

they aren't dead anymore,

and all the suns

that have died before us

have sprouted life

inside of me.

maybe this

golden boy

has summoned galaxies

that I would have never known about

if he weren't here.

and maybe these galaxies

are forming into a universe

in which our love

will last forever,

and tomorrow

will have been yesterday

and today

would have been a month ago.

maybe, just

maybe,

for millions of years

I can be peaceful

with a golden butterfly

swarming inside of my heart

making it skip beats and flutter

and perhaps when all

is said and done

I would have been

his butterfly

all along.

what am I think about?

not the past

nor future

just right here

with him.