"Hello?" I was getting ready to leave the hospital when my phone rang from my back pocket. The caller ID read 'Mikey Wikey.' Gavin insisted I change it to that and I couldn't help but do it. It was just too funny because Michael doesn't know.

"Hey Jane. Are you leaving to the airport right now?" He asked. He sounded tired and I couldn't help wondering what's gotten him so exhausted. His voice also held an urgency that made me curious.

"Yeah. I'm just waiting for Burnie and Gavin. What's up? Miss me so much that you couldn't wait until I get there?" I laughed, folding one of my dresses and placing it in my suitcase. He chuckled into the phone. Oh, that laugh. How much I've missed it. During my time here I've only talked to Bree that one time and the others have just been waiting patiently for me to call or just come back. It sucks being away from the people I've gotten to know in Texas, even if it has just been a few days. It's difficult.

"Oh, you know it, you bitch," We both laughed. "But, uh, the real reason has to do with Bree."

That made me pause the folding I was doing with a pair of my socks. I stood straight, licking my lips. "What do you mean?"

"Well, last night she had to go to the hospital," His words made me grip the phone tighter. "She had a miscarriage, Jay." His voice sounded so tired, making me believe he was there at the hospital, probably along with Lindsay. "We took them home earlier today."

"H-how is she? How's Ray?" God only knows how Ray's doing. He's probably a train wreck. I am worried about Bree of course, she has been close to the same situation way back in her early teens, but Ray I bet hasn't been anywhere near a situation like this. So it's something new and life changing for him while Bree has had a shitty life already with no boundaries.

"She seems to be fine, but I know she's just wearing a mask to cover up her emotions or some shit like that. As for Ray, he's kind of quiet about it. I can tell it's hard on him though. I know I would be fucking depressed if Lindsay went through the same thing." Michael sighed. I felt a lump in my throat as I took all of this in.

"Don't jinx it," I said. I quickly began throwing the rest of my clothes into my bag, needing to not waste any time now. I was hoping Gavin and Burnie would do the same. Thoughts of Bree circled around in my mind, swimming through pools of worry.

"Right. Well, Lindsay will be going to check on them later. Sorry you're not really coming home to some happy campers." Michael apologised. I ruffled my pink curls before sighing out a held in breath. I now had a mission: getting to my friend who desperately needs some comforting from her best friend. I knew Ray would probably be in the same state as her, so his comforting skills wouldn't be the best at the moment.

"I'll come home as soon as I can." Michael and I said our goodbyes and we both hung up. I sat on the edge of the bed, biting my lip in frustration. I just didn't like the fact that Bree and Ray were struggling with this right now. I never liked it when someone was pain and I always felt the need to right the wrong. It's just an instinct of mine that I inherited from my father, just something I couldn't loosen from my habits. Yes, it's a habit. An unhealthy one, but one that does good.

I couldn't even imagine if that happened to Gavin and I. We would definitely be train wrecks. This whole thing made me realise Gavin and I never used protection during our intimate moments. We would get so caught up in the excitement that those necessities had exited our minds and flushed themselves down the 'reasonable-thinking toilet'.

I really hoped we got lucky and I didn't get pregnant.

"Jane? You ready yet?" Burnie called from the other side of my door. I didn't hesitate to grab my suitcase and almost smack into him as I stepped out into the hallway. He steadied me with his hands. "Jesus, calm down. What's got you all wound up? See a guy from One Direction outside your window?" His sarcastic smirk didn't even phase me. It usually did, almost always gets me riled up.

"We just need to get back to Texas. Now." When I tried to push past him, he placed an arm in front of me. I hated when he did that.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Please. I'll tell you on the plane. Right now, I want to see our arses in our damn seats!" I said through gritted teeth. This time I didn't even stop myself from aggressively moving his arm out of the way. He just didn't understand my need for speed to get in a stupid cab and ride that plane all the way to America to comfort my friend and possibly her boyfriend if need be.

I raced towards the lift, Burnie trying to catch up behind me. I hopped on as my feet impatiently tapped against the floor as I waited for Burnie to enter. All I knew was that my friend was probably crying her eyes out, deepening herself into the memories she has tried to lock up. Sure, it wasn't a miscarriage back then, but it was still a loss of a child. And this time it wasn't her fault.

Burnie had a death glare in his eyes as he trudged inside. I pressed the button that would bring us to the first floor.

"Jane, what's going on?" Burnie placed a hand on his hip, but that didn't intimidate me to say anything.

The elevator doors opened and I pulled along my suitcase, literally racing to the front doors of the hotel, almost crashing into visitors. My body knew what it wanted so the bumps along the road to the doors didn't make me stop to apologise to anyone. My mind was set.

"Jane! Hold up!" Burnie called from behind me. I don't care enough to listen.

I dialed Gavin's number once I finally came to an abrupt halt outside the hotel doors. I just needed him now. I know that he's a slow mover, always taking his damn time getting ready. He likes to make sure his hair is attractively messy, I know that much. Such a fucking perfectionist.

He picked up after a few seconds of me cursing into the mobile. "Hey. I'm on my way, love. I just have to call a cab to bring me there."

"Well fucking hurry." I know it sounded harsh, but time was of the essence at the moment. Wasting precious time wasn't on my agenda. I know I shouldn't probably rush everyone because Lindsay and Michael were most definitely there, making sure Bree was okay and Ray was steady, but I needed to be there alongside them.

"What? What do you mean? We have-" He paused. "An hour until the plane leaves. What's going on?"

"No time. Just get here and I'll tell you. Also, once we get to Heathrow, I'm buying us earlier tickets." I hung up, panting because of my lap I ran from the lift to the entrance. The airport wasn't far, but Gavin's house was a good distance away. He just needed to be wise with his time and get his arse here before I have another conniption.

"Don't do that...ever again." Burnie said from behind me. His face was a light flush of pink from trying to chase me.

"I'm sorry. I'm just...eager to get going." I crossed my arms. The bitter chill of the early London air cascaded around us, feeling as if we were figurines caged inside a large snow globe. Winter was just finishing up and transforming into the delicate season called Spring. I was glad. No one really celebrated Christmas at Roosterteeth since we were packed with RTX stuff and there was no time for dinners or opening presents that we'd probably never use or wear later on.

"Why? Just tell me what's happened and not a short fucking answer this time, please." Burnie wiped some of the fog that had clouded his lenses off with his shirt.

"Bree...she had a to go to the hospital while we were away." I said, white mist spiraling out of my mouth in icy gusts.

"Jesus. What happened? Is she alright?" Burnie watched me as if waiting for me to break and crumble to the floor.

"She had a miscarriage, Burnie. I don't know if she's alright." I closed my eyes, breathing in deeply. The frozen air stung my nostrils, but I didn't care. The freezing atmosphere actually felt appropriate for this moment.

"You found out this morning?" Burnie rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah. Michael had called and told me that she went to the hospital, but he and Lindsay took them home the next day. All I know is that I have to be there and make sure she's alright." Or else she might do something that she'll regret in the afterlife.

"Okay. See? Now I understand. I agree, we have to get there now, but rushing us won't help. Just let them know we're coming."

"I told Michael, so I'm sure he's letting them know already." I bit my lip. I needed to get to Bree and now.

*

Gavin had made it to our hotel 20 minutes later, so we decided to just wait for our plane to board. Well, Burnie did. He had to talk me out of my idea, which took a long while. I called my dad as we left the security check to tell him of the news. He sent his sincerest apologies, making me promise to pass them along to Bree. Of course I agreed.

We sat in the seats in front of our boarding, just waiting and waiting and waiting. My legs were doing an impatient dance. I wasn't exactly someone that was willing to wait for anything. Whenever I had to wait for something important, it always felt like 100 million years until it finally happens. I always saw things dramatically in that sense.

"Flight 104 to Austin, Texas is now boarding." The lady at the desk said on the intercom. I literally jumped out of my seat, almost knocking over a man's drink that was placed on the armrest next to me.

"I don't understand--" Gavin began saying behind me as I walked in front of the two.

"Later." Burnie cut him off.

*

During the plane ride, I told Gavin the reason of my jumping around. His eyes grew weary with sadness and he had to lean back in his seat, taking it all in. Ray was one of his best mates and hearing this must have been a shock.

Fortunately, the rest of the flight was quiet. I was definitely grateful for the fact that no crying children filled the plane. It always made the trip uncomfortable for me. My dad would say that when there was children on board, especially little babies, there was no chance of the plane plummeting to the ground beneath us. He said it's a sign that God wouldn't let anything happen to any of us, making sure we stayed on track in the sky. He believed that children on a plane were tiny angels that kept the aircraft afloat.

When we stepped off, I had to stretch my legs. We arrived around mid-afternoon, so the Austin airport was packed with people coming and going. The plane left me jet-lagged and tired, but that all vanished when I saw the familiar feminine figure I had first glimpsed on my first arrival to Texas. Her bright smile was a light for me.

"Hey guys," Ashley grinned, her big blue eyes shining a sapphire colour, making her more radiant and beautiful. "How was the flight?"

"Way too long. I don't think I'll be going to the UK anytime soon." Burnie groaned, cracking his neck. I cringed at the loud snaps he made. It always made me disgusted when people cracked their bones. Just plain disturbing. I didn't understand how it could make someone feel better, less in pain.

"Well, unfortunately we have to," Gavin said. Burnie stared at him confused. "The convention in May?" Burnie groaned at the reminder.

Burnie and Gavin were the ones to stack our luggage inside the boot. Ashley drove, knowing Burnie was way too tiresome to even grip the steering wheel or press the pedal. Gavin and I sat in the back, hands clasped together. I didn't care if Burnie noticed. After the talk with my dad, I seriously didn't give a rat's arse on what he thought. My choice, my decision.

I made sure Ashley drove us to Ray's first. I knew that's where Bree would be since she never really stayed at Burnie's anymore. From my guess, Ashley nor any of the members of the Roosterteeth office, besides Michael and Lindsay, knew about the whole miscarriage situation. Ashely didn't seem to look like she knew anything from her cheerful mood and happy blue eyes. And I was glad she didn't. Ray and Bree needed more time to get over this, which would probably be never, but at least enough time to realise it actually happened. I just hoped Bree wasn't in her zombie mood she caved into when something bad happens to her. Her whole happy, cheerful personality rots away to be replaced by an emotionless and disturbed human being that resented to partake in anything that involved sunshine or happiness.

"How's your dad, Jay?" Ashley asked.

"Much better, thank you. He's doing really well and he was thrilled when he saw Burnie." I answered. It was definitely nice when I saw Burnie and my dad having a blast with each other. All of my dad's friends from his home town were either far away or didn't even bother to contact him.

"Seeing Mason again brought back some of the crazy shit we did in college," Burnie laughed. "Oh, man did we do some crazy shit."

"Like what?" I asked. But right then, Ashley pulled up to Ray's apartment and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I think you should just go. We'll put your stuff in your room. I'll tell you some college stories later." Burnie said. I nodded, but I knew it wouldn't be just me. Gavin was already hopping out of the van. The air here in Austin was so much warmer that I had to pull off my dark coat. It felt nice though. I preferred hot to freezing anytime.

Gavin helped me out, a comforting smile on his adorable face. Ashley honked a goodbye before driving away to leave Gavin and I alone on the pavement.

"Well, let's go." Gavin muttered, his hand pulling me along with him as he makes his way to the stairs. To be honest: I was kind of scared as to how Bree and Ray were handling the situation. Bree sometimes had a knack for drinking. She believed the alcohol could make the pain disappear, never thinking it could damage her or someone else.

As we make our way up the stairs, we could hear yelling coming from one of the three apartments here. I was just hoping it wasn't Ray's. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I pressed my ear on the door and could hear Ray's hoarse voice rising with each word.

"You're being childish! It won't help!" Ray yelled.

"It's just one!" Bree screamed back.

"No it isn't! It's your fifth! You don't need to act like this! I feel everything you're feeling yet I'm still sane enough to move on. Put it down Bree!"

Gavin and I looked at each other while we heard the fight behind the closed door. I sighed before knocking on the door.

Bree and Ray didn't even notice. They still fought away.

"Maybe we should come back, let them settle it all out." Gavin suggested, but I wasn't that lenient. I moved him away to grab the door handle and find it to be completely unlocked.

Inside, Ray and Bree stood in the kitchen that sat to the left. Bree had a large glass of a golden brown liquid. I could tell she was already plastered from the slurring of her words and dim, glazed eyes that watched Ray's movements vividly.

"Please, Bree. I'm asking you nicely." Ray pleaded.

"You weren't being nice! You were yelling!"

"Because you're not listening!" And there goes the softness from Ray.

"Guys! Guys!" I intervened, raising my hands to shush them. They both turned, each sharing a shocked emotion. Bree's hand still held the glass when she rushed over to me and wrapped her arms around my body. I held an arm around her as my hand gently pried the glass from, I think it's whiskey, from her. Ray took it. He looked sleep-deprived. I felt sorry for not warning him about Bree and how she can get difficult when it came to alcohol. But I could see, in his eyes, that he still loved her, no matter the consequences.

"Jane! I can't believe you're back!" Bree giggled in my ear. It was a drunk, girlish giggle that was flirtatious.

"Yeah, I'm here," I looked over at Ray. "Can I take her to your bedroom to talk?" When he nods, I leave him with Gavin, who I knew would talk with him, and brought Bree to the bedroom. I made sure to close the door just in case if Bree became hysterical or angry. She was capable of that.

She flopped down on the bed, sighing pleasantly. The drink had definitely plucked the pain she felt from her very core, leaving her as weightless and dumb founded as any intoxicated young girl.

"Are you feeling fine?" I asked.

"Terrific, love. Ugh...Ray can be such a downer sometimes. He needs a drink," She giggled. "Or some action."

"He cares. That's why he's acting like this. I mean, I thought you stopped drinking because you wanted to be like Ray, be his equal." I sat next to her on the bed, my hands clasped in my lap.

"Yeah, well, things don't last very long, do they? Like lives." Her tone changed from girly and hyper, to a more morbid feeling. I tensed as she said the last part. I knew she was referring to the unborn child that she didn't know about until later on. But she could've also been meaning her father's child.

"I know you're upset, confused, angry--"

"You don't know how I feel," Bree sat up to glare at me through long eyelashes. "You've never been in my position."

"No, you're right, I haven't. But that doesn't mean I can't...imagine what you're going through and I'm sure you're upset. Right? Confused? Sad?" I didn't like seeing her this way. It breaks my already aching heart.

"Heart-broken would be the correct term. You know drinking makes me forget about everything and I know it's what my dad....my mum did, but I do know why they did it: to stop the pain they were feeling. And they were right, it does dull the pain so you can't feel it's agonizing sting." Bree sniffled, but didn't let a single tear drop. "I don't like doing it, but if getting the memories of that night and the next morning out of my head and locked up, then I'm more than willing to take a shot of vodka or pour myself a glass of whiskey. It just...helps." Bree shrugged, her shirt sliding down her shoulder to show old scars her dad had etched into her flesh.

"Do you think it helps the people that love you and want to be there for you? I don't like seeing you this way, Bree. And I've witnessed this way too many times, each being harder than the last. Ray has never been through something like this...you have. Don't have me bring up the past. You know what I'm talking about." She did. A single tear tumbled down her face, letting me know she remembered. "He needs comfort, you need comfort. I can't provide that for you. Not Gavin, Michael, or Lindsay. You two have to talk about this and find closure. Tell him."

"Tell him what?" Bree sighed.

"About what happened with your dad and mum. He should know." I nodded.

"No," She shook her head, her black hair loosing itself from her ponytail. "I-I can't. He wouldn't love me anymore if--"

"What makes you think that? You were the victim." She was always like this, believing she wouldn't be loved for what happened in her past.

"But also the defender. I defended my dad when I was questioned about if he touched me inappropriately or used his fists on me. I lied for him and said he was a great father towards me, that he only wanted the best for me. I lied for him when they took that fucking DNA test to prove it was his child inside me. I lied even though those tests are accurate. I lied for someone that did horrible things, Jane. I aided and abetted him. Does that sound trustworthy or lovable?" Now the tears poured down her face, her eyes reddening.

All I could really do was hug her. She cried into my shoulder, letting out her anger and sadness that she tried to suppress with the alcohol. She was like a little sister to me and when something troubled her, I had to be her shoulder to cry on. My mum made sure she felt welcome in our home when we were younger, always making sure she was comfortable and happy. My dad has only met Bree twice, so he hasn't really been able to show her how caring he could be.

"I love you, Bree. But don't let your past make you believe things won't work out in the future. Ray is in love with you, he's here for you. Think about what he's feeling," I pulled back to stare into her eyes. "Exactly the same. Heart-broken. That was his child as well." I took her hands, feeling the clammy skin.

Bree nodded, sniffling some more. "I'll put down the whiskey and talk to him." She chuckled bitterly.

"Good." I helped her from the bed, a smile on my face. She wiped away the dried tears before following me out into the living room. Ray and Gavin were still in the kitchen, talking quietly amongst themselves. They both looked up when we entered. "I think we'll leave, so you guys can talk." I nodded, looking over to Gavin.

Ray only stared at Bree as we made our exit. Once the door was closed, both Gavin and I let out an identical relieved sigh. "He was very upset." Gavin said.

"I think she was worse, to be honest." We walked down the stairs and when we reached the bottom, I looped my arm around his as he called a cab.