I Will Always Love You
Songs for this chapter:
Say Something-A Big New World ft. Christina Aguilera <---repeat this one at least twice or something haha
So Cold- Nikisha Reyes
Even though you may know the lyrics and how the songs go, I highly recommend listening while reading.
__________________________
(Ray's POV)
Almost a week without a single fucking word and I'm starting to get worried. Bree didn't answer my calls, so I gave up. I just had to because knowing her, she won't answer by force.
After the whole ordeal with Burnie and him finding out about Jane's pregnancy, I left the office with a ride from Michael. He was worried, I knew. I mean I have been faking my way through every Let's Play and any other stupid video we do. I knew he would notice and apparently, so has Gavin. I have tried to cling back to my old self, but Bree has corrupted me with her crooked personality and disorienting turn of events.
"Want me to stay with you? Lindsay is going home to her parents this weekend." Michael suggested as he pulled up to my apartment. The sky was turning a shade of a darker blue, almost copying how I felt inside.
"No, it's fine. I need some time to think." I said, sighing out deeply and fixing my glasses on my nose.
"You sure? I can try and kick your ass in Call of Duty." Michael grinned and I couldn't help but mimic him.
"That'd be the day," I chuckled, nodding to him before climbing out of his vehicle and grabbing my work bag. "Pick me up tomorrow?" I called out to him as I walked to the stairs.
"Depends on my mood, dick!" Michael laughed loudly as he drove off, actually making a screeching noise that filled the quiet air. I hoisted my bag over my shoulder as I trudged up the stairs. I was glad to finally be away from people and to just sit alone with my thoughts. I needed this big time.
I fumbled with my key before turning it in the lock. Inside, the lights were on and I blinked rapidly from confusion until I saw a small figure perched on the sofa, arms crossed and brown eyes glued to the television. When I opened the door further, she looked to me.
"Ray," she smiled, her eyes squinting from her lips curling up. "I've been waiting forever." She giggled and moved off her seat to come near me, but I moved past her without a single word to my room. "Ray?" I heard her sweet voice from behind me--the same voice that's given me so much bullshit yet so much confused love at the same time.
I ignored her and removed my bag, tossing it to the ground. I sat on my bed to remove my shoes as Bree sat beside me. I never looked up as I unlaced.
"Ray, are you okay?" Bree asked, touching my shoulder, making me move away even more. I wanted to laugh in her face for asking such a stupid fucking question.
"I am less than okay." I muttered, moving up and going to the connected closet to retrieve a worn out shirt.
"Is it because of me?" She asked and this time I actually did form a bitter chuckle. "Look, I'm sorry. I should have called back or texted--" I had to cut her off.
"Yes, you should have, damn it," I turned to look at her. Those brown eyes that had me under her spell was singed and wasted away, faded to a pathetic blackness of regret and sadness. "I don't know what I fucking did to make you rebel like this, but this was stupid. I can't believe you." I shook my head, removing my shirt and replacing it with the worn one.
"Well, I can tell you," She started. "You pushed me away." She came closer, but I moved back into the hallway the closet also led to.
"I pushed you away? No, Bree, you've got everything mixed. I tried to help you. You became obsessed with something you don't have...what Jane has." I stared her down. She never strayed from my gaze, but from the way her body shook from a shiver and how her hands gripped her arms, she was trying hard not to look down.
"Oh, I guess you're right. A better life, a baby, a stable relationship. Definitely right, Ray." Her voice mocked me.
"Are you saying we aren't stable? You want to know why? It because of you! You're always trying to find ways to push my motherfucking buttons or you're giving yourself a pity party. I've tried to help you, but you are the one pushing me away, Bree. This Brad guy? I feel like that's your way of telling me to go fuck myself!" I yelled at her as I made my way back to the living area, the tv very low to allow our voices to echo around us.
"Brad has nothing to do with this! He's just my friend." She said, more like growled.
"What the fuck are you talking about? He's has so much to do with this! You brought him here the same day you fucking met him! A random stranger! How stupid was that and now you two are so goddamn close. Fuck!" I barely lose my temper--mostly when I play video games. When I did though, I blew up and I couldn't contain the wrath that wanted to pour out.
"He's a friend--"
"Can you shut up for one moment and actually listen to yourself? You're bullshitting, stop it." My voice was growing hoarse and tired, but from the look on her face--the way she stood, looked, and trembled--she wasn't over with this talk yet.
"W-We...I didn't mean..." She tried speaking. "I don't know what I was thinking." She said. I watched her as she stood by the kitchen island while I was in the middle of the connected living area, fists balled up by my sides.
"There you go again. You just lied and now you're finally realising you're wrong," My heart was shattered. Dead. Done. Sick and fucking tired. "So, you slept with him." I tried to make my voice strong and seem undefeated, but it betrayed me and it cracked at the end.
"I have no excuse," Bree whispered, her curled hair whisping around her beautiful face. "It's hard being in a relationship for me. After the whole thing with my dad, I can't help but fail at trying to love even when I think I have found it. But you're the one I definitely love, Ray. I know this." She clutched the counter as she waited for my response.
"So, sleeping with a random guy is telling me? What was the point? Since I didn't give you what you wanted, you found someone else willing to?" A bitter twinge was laced in my deep voice as spoke. The words seemed sour coming from my mouth, but that's what has happened while being in love with Bree Newton. She's made me sour and bitter along with wrecked, destroyed, tired, loved, happy...and done.
"No. No, it wasn't like that. That was just my stupidity talking for me. I thought I had feelings for Brad..." She trailed off.
"Do you?" I asked. The look in her eyes said it all and I shook my head in disbelief. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You know what? I'm done." I flailed my hands in the air in anger as I turned away.
"W-What? Ray, no..no..no, wait--" I could hear her quick footsteps coming near me. Soon, her hands were turning me around. "No, wait. Please, no. I'm sorry, please no...no." Tears crowded her chocolate brown eyes, brimming up close to falling.
"Bree, stop. I can't do it. I'm emotionally tired and I don't think I can deal with this anymore. I have a feeling you're going to continue this cycle--this emotional and tiring cycle of pure bullshit." I moved her arms back, my fingers wrapped around her wrists.
"I'm sorry!" She let out a sob, now letting the tears go and pooling over her reddened cheeks. I hated seeing her like this, but she needed to stop and realise this was the best for both of us, no matter how much I wanted to refuse my own theory.
"No, Bree, just stop. We need to end this before everything becomes worse. This has gone over our heads way too far. I-I'm...I'm giving up on trying to help. I'm giving up on you. I don't want to and I hate the fact that we've come to this, but we have to stop." My own words made me feel sick and terrible. I could feel the harsh feeling in my throat, telling me that tears would come to show themselves soon.
"Ray, no. Please..." She leaned against me, crying against my chest as I awkwardly held her wrists in both hands.
"I tried to stop anything from happening, but obviously I can't do that," In that moment, Bree collapsed on the ground, her head touching the carpet as her body racked with sobs and her fingers dug into the fabric of the floor. "I hate that I'm doing this, but I have to." This time the tears came from my eyes as I spoke.
She didn't speak, only cried hard into the ground. I moved away around her and wiped away the tears that showed.
"You're giving up. You're just going to end this. I thought you loved me!" Bree yelled out and her words were like a bullet straight through my already crumbling heart. What made me turn back was how she said them. They weren't filled with heart break, but complete confusion and anger. She was on her knees, moving to stand up.
"You did this! I've tried Bree, for fucks sake! I love you! Of course I do, I would be a fool if after all of this time, I didn't. I will always love you, even with all of the shit you've done. No matter what you did or will do, I can't help the agonizing love I have for you. What you did hurts so much, so much I'm breaking inside, but the feeling isn't as mutual as it is for the love and passion I have towards you. I would have followed you anywhere, I would have loved you for a thousand years, I would have made you feel more special than I've tried to do, I would have married you!" I yelled out to her, fresh tears tracking my face. "So don't you dare question my love for you because I do and I will always and eternally cherish our time together and love you more than anyone."
Bree was silent, her body slackened and her full lips trembled. What I said had my head feel thick and dizzy. I loved this woman so much. It hurt to let her go, but I had to.
"I love you, though." She whispered with a choked sob.
"You don't know who you love." I said back.
_________
(Bree's POV)
"Leave, please." Ray said. My heart was fractured and tearing into shredded threads of despair. I knew I loved him and what he said had me shaking.
"No, Ray..." I tried to speak, but he only moved towards the door and opened it. I hesitated in my steps, but I grabbed my black bag on the sofa, my whole body shaking as I neared him and the door. When I stopped in the doorway, I turned to him. "Please."
"I will always love you. Goodbye, Bree." Ray closed the door, leaving me in the now chilled night air. I was cold. Not from the night air, but from what just happened. My insides were glacier filled and my eyes could only produce me with freezing droplets of water as I cried my way down the stairs.
I couldn't believe the outcome of my coming back. I wasn't with him anymore. He wouldn't kiss me, we wouldn't hold each other or make love. We wouldn't laugh with each other or tease our friends...
It was done. We were done.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen247.Pro