pov Hazza

He was watching.

I don't know what's happening. The interview ended hours ago and I'm still on the couch.

I get a call from Susan telling me to get ready in an hour for the show. 

I have a fucking show.

I can't perform like this. I'm a mess. I walk over to the bathroom my reflection only assures me that my performance tonight is not going to be pretty. Streaks running down my face, my eyes are red and puffed up. I step in the shower and I sob, just let my feelings out along with the water hitting my skin. As I cover myself in lather. I take time to think of each of my tattoos, I remember as i was touch my chest -

🦋🦋🦋

" haz why are you blindfolding me! " He asks and bats his arms.

  " it's a surprise just wait and see. Give me your hand. " I hold his hand and lead him to the bedroom.

" ok now take of my shirt " I say again. 

"right now? haz it's a bit late don't you think? we have a recording tomorrow and I suppose you want to walk " He says, smirking and I smack his arm. Although, I am tempted.

" that's not what I mean cheeky boy, but it's nice to know what your thinking " I respond and he just laughs.

He tugs my shirt and pulls it off. I slowly remove his blindfold and he just stares at my chest, tracing his fingers along the butterfly. 

" wow it's beautiful but H why do you have a flippin moth on your chest. "

" BUTTERFLY LOUIS ! BUTTERFLY !  I got it for you. Because every time I see you. Every time our eyes meet. Every time you touch me. Every time you kiss me. I get butterflies . It's like they are flying and fluttering in my stomach . " I say smiling. 

i watch as a single tear flows down lou's cheek. 

" Haz , I " He starts but he's cut off  by my lips and there it is again. those bloody butterflies.

🦋🦋🦋

 Everyone's chattering and they can sense my uneasiness. I tell them there's nothing to worry about and I'm just having a bad day. Sarah and Mitch come and try to comfort me but I kept brushing it off. After hair and makeup, I was on stage, I managed to smile and entertain the crowd somehow. 

It's about him, you know it's about him. Every lyric, every song. Him. Him. Him

And I let go.

Letting tears run down my face. 

📱📱📱

I'm fine. Yeah I'm fine. I just need a distraction. 

I open my phone and scroll for a bit, feeling hollow even after seeing those cute puppies. I open instagram and go to my dm's. 

Haz: hey!

Irish_Potatoe : ......

Irish_Potatoe : omg hiii

Haz : nice username ha ha . may I know the inspiration behind it 

Irish_Potatoe: ha ha thanks. you know how nialler always said potatoe with and Irish accent and he's such a foodie. so yea he's an Irish Potatoe.

Haz: omg perfect haha

Irish_Potatoe: yep.

Haz: So whats your name?

Irish_Potatoe: Irish_Potatoe

Haz: ha ha . your real name pls

Irish_Potatoe: nope

Haz: ok ... how old are you 

Irish_Potatoe: 3

Haz: very funny. 

Irish_Potatoe: ok fine. 69

Haz : that one is so old- 

Irish_Potatoe : I'm 29

Haz: ay your around my age . 

Irish_Potatoe: yeah....

Haz: heyyy.... anyways what do you do

Irish_Potatoe: I write some stuff and I have a company 

Haz: cool. again what's your name. you seem cool

Irish_Potatoe: ha ha ok my names Will

Haz: Knock Knock

Irish_Potatoe: oh god no. save me from this misery. 

Haz: pleeaasseee

Irish_Potatoe: ok fine . who's there

Haz: Will

Irish_Potatoe: Will who?

Haz : Will oo open the door please?

Irish_Potatoe: oh god Haz no

Haz

Haz: haz?

Irish_Potatoe: sorry it just slipped

Haz: no it's ok. my friends call me that. and your my friend?

Irish_Potatoe: ...yeah 

Irish_Potatoe: ok goodnight !

Haz: no don't go . I'm bored

Irish_Potatoe: don't you need sleep? its like past 11!

Haz: I was sleeping the whole day so-

Irish_Potatoe: oh I thought u had a show

Haz: I did and I got up for it. did it. came back and now I'm in my bed again 

Irish_Potatoe: oh.. are you ok? 

I'm ok. I'm fine. I'm alright.

Haz : yeah I'm good, but I'd be better if you let me tell you another joke !

Irish_Potatoe : no. just no.

Haz: noo wait last one I promise

Haz: knock knock

Irish_Potatoe: oh great another one. fine. after this I'm going

Irish_Potatoe: who's there

Haz: a cow goes

Irish_Potatoe: A cow goes who? haz u've told this one to me before

*message deleted

What was that- you've told this one to me before? to him? how? 

Irish_Potatoe: A cow goes who?

Haz: No! A cow goes moo

Irish_Potatoe: nice one styles hahahaha. ok bye now

Haz: ur so mean

Irish_Potatoe: am not. I'm just sleepy

Haz: ok bye. leave me alone in my depths of despair

I wait for a couple minutes. He actually left. 

Haz: wait u actually did? rude