present 

54| “A trouble not so worth it.” 

As they stepped in the house, a prolonged silence tumbled in. Taehyung’s breaths were like razors sharp behind his throat and came out into short, hectic pants. His shoulders were locked, his back muscles bunched in certainty upon feeling her gaze following him like a thundering cloud. With panic knotting his bones, he gazed back at Nina, who was now staring at him with countless questions written all over his face.

“I’m sorry, red. it must be hurting a lot right, I wasn't in my senses. I’m so sorry, I'll never intentionally hurt you.” His words cut off when she reached him and cradled his face into her soft palms and there his pretense to be strong thawed under her touch.

“Look at me. I'm fine and I'm not hurt.” Nina assured him with such gentleness, Taehyung’s blazing heart softened. “But… are you okay?” 

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Seeing his beautiful, golden eyes filled with emptiness was no different than having a knife plunged deep into her gut. 

Hyeon’s visitation and all the venomous things he had said had rattled Taehyung as it was radiating out of him in silent waves. Nina couldn't just sit and see him go through the turmoil alone. So all this time, the kindness from Hyeon and the love and respect he showed for his family was a composed façade – because from whatever she heard and had found out tonight, Nina understood Hyeon runs a lot deeper than what meets the eyes. He wasn't a good father, not a good husband, nor a good person. He was supposed to care more about Taehyung and his family, he should have been their pillar, but he failed to do that.

“Your dad—” He didn't let her finish the words. 

“Don’t worry your pretty head about him, he can go and fuck himself.” As Taehyung uttered the words, it didn't sound comically strong, they were as brittle as his breathing.

A sigh abandoned him when Nina wrapped her arms around his waist and tightly embraced his coiled muscles. The comfort. The reassurance. The overwhelming warmth. He wasn't alone. He had Nina. Taehyung buried his nose in the curve of her neck and his chest vibrated because she smelled like a place he could banish himself without having the fear of darkness. She was his own very secret gardenia. 

“We can talk.” Nina mumbled against his chest, her voice was a fragile light in the darkest abyss in his mind. 

Talk about exactly what? What could they discuss? The unspeakable horror of his past where he couldn't save his people? His mother getting thrown into the asylum because her fault was to fall in love with this heartless man? His little sister's disappearance? His father's abandonment? The nightmares that suffocated and haunted him, the voices that screamed at him to end it? Would he tell her how the voices tell him to kill himself because he was an empty cell of misery and was a waste of space. Or would he be able to tell her how he was going through the crushing guilt and fear of hurting her? 

His thoughts scorched his body and tendril through his veins.

No, Taehyung couldn't tell her all of this. It was too shameful, his head was a fucked place and, Nina should stay away from it. He didn't need to taint her light with his sordid reality.

“Let's not talk about it.” Taehyung pulled away, his eyes looking everywhere but her. His steps were wobbly as he grabbed the car keys and was about to escape, Nina’s next words halted his breathing.

“Seems like you don't trust me.” Nina sniffled, suddenly the silence was heated with the churning air hanging around them. 

“Do you know how ridiculous you are sounding right now?” Taehyung’s face changed into an iron-clad scowl. Standing in front of her, he appeared larger than life, too composed but at the same time splintered into invisible pieces.

“I trust you more than anything in this stupid as fuck world. Do you think I'm joking, red?” His finger gently hooked under her chin and tilted her head up so she could catch the fiery sincerity through his eyes.

“You hear me? So don't ever question my trust in you. I'm actually hurt by your assumption.” A sick feeling hit her stomach and she tipped her chin to stare at the man who had every right to fist her heart under his palm.

“Really?” A faint scoff abandoned through her dry mouth. “You expect me to believe your words but you won't confide in me about what's eating you away. You don't consider me enough to share your worries. What should I do? How should I stop overthinking when you didn't even think about reaching me?” Nina made a face that demanded the answers right away.

“Just look at me, look at how happy we are and stop thinking. That's it.” He lifted his shoulders for a shrug. “You are helping me, you are here and, it's more than a help. What do you think, why do I look forward to a day with a smile? It's because of you, Nina.”

“You don't look fine.” Nina’s voice cracked and she stroked his cheek, the sorrow sculpting her face were needles pressing against his heart.

“Don't start this again. We have talked about it.” He said with a note of panic in his tone, feeling his composure slipping away. His eyes were wild and dark. Nina wanted to drag out whatever monster was chasing him and tormenting him. Or, maybe the monster had just walked out of their house but still left its lingering effect on him.

"Remember those times when you shut down and wouldn't talk about your feelings or when you would leave the house to avoid talking about things you are struggling with, and it hurts me that I can't help you because you won't open up to me. I feel helpless that you won't let me in and now I know that your past is the reason you are suffering in silence. How can you expect me to just sit and watch you suffer?” The strokes of her fingers against his cheek were so gentle it felt like butterfly wings brushing against his skin, though it didn't quell the sick twist in the back of his throat. 

Taehyung would wake up in the dead of night, tormented by his inner demons, and slip away to the balcony. As he couldn't seem to sleep because the nightmares wouldn't let him, so he would smoke for hours. With every exhale of smoke lingering in the air, Taehyung would wish his sorrow would leave him alone. He’d stand there, eyes empty, his chest heavy with pain he couldn't scream out and he wouldn't because he didn't want to worry Nina. When he finally returned to bed, he'd wrap his arms around Nina, holding her tight as if she was his only lifeline. 

Taehyung's face would burrow into her neck, his body shaking and his warm breath was a silent plea for comfort. And Nina had to hear the sound of her helpless heart shattering in her ears, feeling his anguish and frustration, her own tears silently streaming down her face as she fought to contain her sobs behind the back of her hand. Her questions always lead to a cold argument, a concerning jab on the silent wall that Taehyung had suddenly built between them and it always got high when Nina probed him about his nightmares. 

“Why did you never tell me about…” Nina’s mouth was parched. “... about your family, your mom and sister?” Grabbing his hand, she brought it to her lips and kissed his knuckles, placing a gentle crack on the barriers that were cemented around Taehyung.

“My baby, because my past is meaningless.” The pain was still too raw, so much that he was scared and insecure to expose it. Taehyung wanted to hold it, cup it in his hands a while longer before he uncurled his fingers to expose it to Nina. But again, speaking about it made him want to burst out of his skin, made him feel a little too fragile, so he brushed that thought away. 

Nina could have all of him, even that side that would burn the world to protect her— but not those parts which he wasn't proud of. 

“That's not true, Taehyung.” Nina again left a mellow kiss on the back of his hand. “Your past shapes who you are today.”  She could only wish to soak into his warmth, especially right now where she could sense a weird sort of abyss stretching between them— she felt so far away from him.

“And my past shaped me into a monster.” His voice barely above a whisper and there was an unkind ring in it.

“Taehyung.” Nina’s eyes broadened in aghast.

“Red.” Taehyung wouldn't accept it, but he did sound so small and broken. With his other hand, he touched one of those curls that fell around her face. It felt like silk between his calloused fingers, and he would never get tired of toying with them. She turned her cheek into his palm and rubbed the heel of his hand with her chin.

“I'm sorry.” He strangled out, and Nina straightened her back. “I'm so sorry for worrying you like this but I'm fine.” His voice was deep and grievous and her heart shivered at the gloomy intensity. 

“You are not and I can see that. I can feel that there's this place inside of you where you lose yourself sometimes. And when you lose yourself there, you don't listen to me calling your name and I keep calling your name, baby. It scares me how you don't…respond to me. It hurts me even more when you come out of that place all drained and pretend to act normal.” Taehyung's eyes flashed with the tinge of unmistakable realization and fathomless shock. 

Taehyung clenched his eyes shut, cursing himself for not being mindful of his actions. He knew his mind was unintentionally wandering to places and deluged to the rusty pages of his past, so much that he became deaf to his surroundings.

And that's why he chose to stay most of his time with Nina. Her presence, her voice, her touch helped him to remain afloat in damn reality, to remain soft and not flood in his fucked up head. Because his head was consumed by bad thoughts and even bad energy. He was agitated and frustrated with the need to go berserk, all mad and burned in his frenzy. The voices in his head whispered to him to go violent, to hurt himself, to break his skull, to cut his ribs, to rip his chest open, cup his black, twisted heart out of him, detach from his soul and shred into gory chunks until there was nothing left. 

Seon suggested that he should visit his therapist, but Taehyung knew that his therapist would say the same shit— You are fine, don't worry. It's all in your head— Come on, as if Taehyung didn't know that everything was in his disastrous head. 

All these years he had to take pills and visit those therapies where they ask him the questions. Stupid questions about how things were going. Was his life getting any better? Did his meds work? Did he still get worked up when he recalled his childhood and abusive dad? And Taehyung had this vicious urge to scream, to shatter things, lash out and choke in his breathing until his lungs were starving, and his body went limp. Taehyung wanted to tell them that he wasn't getting better, he was getting worse and worse. Only if he could find a way where he didn't have to live in the past.

Taehyung stopped the pills and therapies since Nina came back into his life. Taehyung’s mind diverted and his sole attention was her. She was his world, sky, earth, universe. Everything revolved around her. 

People say no one could control those violent, deadly thoughts when they were unleashed in its dark chamber. You need therapies. You need pills. You need a boost. You need every fucking thing so you could wake up every day. Taehyung was perfectly aware that he was on the verge of snapping and the only thing that was keeping him sane was Nina. 

Her touch, her voice, and everything in her would bring him back to reality from whatever places he goes in his head. He would talk to her about her day or about her favorite movies, or about her favorite characters from the books or her favorite childhood memories with her parents. Whatever that makes Nina talk nonstop so Taehyung could soak the sound of her voice, so he could just hold onto that moment. 

Taehyung would draw a bath for her and let her kiss all over his face, he would let Nina sink into her knees and take care of the hard erection that he got after seeing her naked, wet body in the bathtub. 

Taehyung didn't know that Nina had caught him sneaking into his head.

“I tried to give you space. I tried not to question you. I tried to avoid the moment where you suddenly become silent and stare into nothingness and I thought maybe with time you’ll feel better. Maybe, you are just exhausted because of work and the responsibilities. There are so many maybes going inside my head, and I couldn't shut them out. So I decided to act normal as if seeing you agitated, sad and antsy isn't affecting me but it did affect me.” His muscles flexed and shifted before going completely solid, his eyes stared at the valley of her soul, refusing to look away, as if Taehyung would dare to blink and Nina would just disappear. 

“Sometimes I tend to react like this but I always get better. Nothing lasts forever so just like that my episodes won't last too.” And his confession cut her heart open and left a wide gash there. So, Taehyung was dwelling in this constant cycle of anguish and she had no idea about it.

Nina’s lips remained parted…how could she be so careless? How did she couldn't see through him? How could she be so damn happy in her own world that she couldn't see his demons. Guilt coiled itself inside her chest, digging its claws whenever she dared to breathe.

“You had a nightmare last night.” She swallowed thickly, face stoic.

“Was I saying anything?” Taehyung was visibly tense and Nina could tell by the way his shoulders tightened.

“You were.” Screaming, thrashing around— she wanted to tell him but the disturbing frowning lines forming around his face changed her mind. “You were calling out my name and you weren't stopping.” 

“You sure I wasn't…moaning your name?” Taehyung grinned, an attempt to lighten her mood. “You sure, I wasn't saying sit on my face. Come all over my tongue, red. I'm coming.” A feeble chuckle escaped him and he shook his head when Nina gripped his shoulder, glaring at him.

“Don’t mock me.” She grumbled, a sad smile was all he got.

“The nightmares are sometimes about you, they are gruesome .” Taehyung inhaled sharply, his eyes were apologetic  as he recalled the images of her bloody, limp body in his arms. It wasn't real. Nina was in front of him and she wasn't dead.

“Taehyung, they aren't real. I'm here, right in front of you.” Nina leaned closer to him and he nodded.

“I'm scared.” Taehyung confessed.

“Why?” 

“I don't know. I'm just scared to lose you.” Scared that one day she might leave him.

“You won't.” And she wouldn't leave him. Her eyes were intense and determined.

“No, you don't understand Nina, my world, my life, and every essence of me revolves around you. I can’t imagine not seeing you even for a single day. I can’t imagine not being able to talk to you, and touch you and be with you like this. And I feel like I might hurt you someday. And I did, today I hurt you.” There was a fist inside his chest, twisting his heart under the brutal fingers, nails digging the flesh and the blood seeping out. it was physically aching him.

“You didn't mean it.” The churning intensified in the back of her throat.

“But I still did, Nina. You just don't fucking understand so let it go.”

“You are scared because I won't understand you? Fine, maybe I won't fully understand your trauma, your suffering and your constant need to stay strong. Actually, no one can. People can relate, people can feel pity for you, but no one can understand the darkness and suffocation you endured at that moment. So, perhaps I won't fully understand your pain, but you need to know that I'll never belittle or shame you for your experiences. Your nightmares aren't your fault. Nothing is your fault. It was him who ruined you when he shouldn't have. He destroyed your family, and it's not your fau—” Nina closed her mouth when an angry scowl traveled to his face.

“I have to deal with this alone, the consequences are mine.” His eyes were uncharacteristically empty, a golden so dark, Nina couldn't see the loving Taehyung she had come to know over the past couple of weeks in them.

“No, it doesn't have to be like this. we can talk—” 

“Nina!” He flashed her the look that left her heart lurched and no room for argument. “Drop it, okay? it's not worth it.” He cut her off so harshly, Nina actually stepped back. 

“But you are worth it.” She whispered weakly and something snapped in his chest, something demolished. “Just listen to me.” She would hate herself if she would just let him crumble like this and she refused to do that.

“Why does it have to be any of your  business? Why do you have to be so damn curious? What do you want me to do? break down in front of you, crawl to you and beg you for help? No, I can't do that. I don't want to talk about anything. Leave me alone!” Everything paused and a migraine starts to form at the back of his skull as the demons run rampant, spouting their hatred and telling Taehyung what they think of him without mincing their words.

“You are pathetic. she doesn't want you. She never will. She will leave you again and why wouldn't she? you are a fucked mess and soon she wouldn't want to deal with you. You are a burden, a misery, a pathetic useless piece of shit. you are going to end up alone. you are going to die alone. you are a miserable fuck.” Shut up, shut up, Taehyung choked on the cry that was threatening to rip out of him.

“I…I just wanted to help, baby.” Nina slowly blinked and took one step towards him, her heart dropped when Taehyung stepped back as if being near her was killing him. He could feel her gentle approach and non-judgmental body language. Nina didn't want to be pushy, she was just concerned and he was so thankful for that.

However, Taehyung had already hit the bottom of guilt and a tsunami of anger.

“What do you want me to tell you? Do you want me to tell you that my whole life smells like him? or that I can't survive him yet I still pretend to be strong like a fool? or that I can't sleep at night and stare at the wall because I'm scared of my nightmares? or do you want me to tell you how loveless and pathetic I am?” He snapped, the need to hurt himself grew with every breath.

“You are not loveless, I love you baby. I love you so much.” Nina’s lower lip wobbled and all she could do was stare into his wild eyes and torment prowling in them. They were blank and dead, as if Taehyung wasn't there and she realized he was struggling with the turmoil going into his head. 

“You are his blood and flesh and just like him, you are a monster. You are going to die like a neglected dog who could just hope and pray to be loved. You should be gone.” There was a sinister cackle in the back of his head, so loud that it drowned Nina’s soft confession that always made him burst into happiness.

“Shut up.” He snarled out and Nina froze. Taehyung remained still in his place, his fingers shook. Everything started like an itch. An irritation beneath his skin. A constant deadly whisper of it in his bones. The violence crawled into his mind and refused to leave. It was strangling. The longer he avoided it, the more it dragged him into the abyss. 

“Taehyung, I love you. You aren't alone. I'm here for you, always. I'll crash and burn if it means to keep you whole, so trust me baby.” Nina took a soft step towards him.

“Shut up! just shut the fuck up!” Taehyung screamed at those voices. They were blocking her voice. He grabbed the glass vase from the nearest table and threw it on the floor. The sound sliced through the air and banged in the gloomy emptiness stretching between them. 

Taehyung stared at the chunks of glass scattering across the floor, then he blinked when realization flooded. His violence was slipping through the crack of his fingers.

“Taehyung, are you okay?!” Taehyung’s heart skipped a dangerous beat when Nina clutched his t-shirt and pulled him closer. Her face pale, those beautiful, alarmed eyes tugged at his heartstrings.

The guilt came like a hurricane, destroying his calm. Suddenly Nina looked so tired, even blue as if all the air had rushed out of her, as if everything was suffocating her. And that's why Taehyung didn't want her to see that ugly part of him. He didn't want to burden her and snatch the light of her eyes.

“He is right, I'm nothing but a pathetic screw-up.” He felt the pricking of
tears gathering behind his eyes. 

“Taehyung, you aren't pathetic.” Tears rolled down to her cheeks, her voice was desperate. 

“Don't hate me.” Taehyung begged, he pressed a wobbly kiss on her forehead.

“Never.” She whispered.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to direct my frustration on you.” He shook his head, his face was dismayed.

“I know.” Her gentle woosh of breath brushed across his mouth. “I shouldn't push you that far.” He looked at her, actually looked past her and only found the woman who revived the dead parts of him.

“I could have hurt you, again.” His lips were trembling so bad that he had to bite it down.

“You didn't hurt me.” Nina assured him, but he was too gone in his self-loathing that her voice was just a faint whisper.

“But I could. It's me, it's always fucking me. My troubles aren't worth looking at. The things going in my head aren't worth discovering and I didn't want you to see me like this. I want to be better for you, I want to be normal for you. I want to love you better.” He gripped the back of his neck, his eyes were blown wide.

“…I'm fucking sorry. I don't deserve you.” Taehyung walked past her, as if he didn’t just rip her heart out and take it with him.

☆⁠☆⁠☆

Taehyung's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he navigated the deserted streets, driving aimlessly. The city lights blurred together in a colorful haze, a stark contrast to the darkness brewing within him. As he drove, the silence was relentless, punctuated only by the soft hum of the engine and the occasional passing car. 

Taehyung took a sharp turn, the tires screeching in protest. Taehyung didn't know where he was going ; he just knew he had to keep moving. He had no idea about time, no idea how many cigarettes he had smoked since he left the house. Nina's arms would bring him so much calm, so much comfort, though he was so shameful at his act that he couldn't stare into her eyes without crumbling.

His chest was heavy with unspoken words and he winced when his phone rang as he swiftly received it, the familiar raspy voice filled his ear.

“Are you alive?” The lenient tone belonged to Jungkook and Taehyung could easily imagine the steely, permanent scowl that his unapologetic best friend always wore.

“Don’t you fucking sleep? or you couldn't because your twisted heart finally missed me?” Taehyung hoped that his voice sounded light and humors unlike the gloominess flaring its tendrils around him.

“I thought to ask about your well being but hearing your snarky tone I can guess you are doing absolutely fine. Good to know.” Jungkook grumbled.

“Aren't you a little late? don't wanna whine or anything but, I was expecting you to visit me with a massive bouquet of flowers.” Taehyung snorted, knowing full well that Jungkook had just returned from a business trip abroad.

“Actually, I came home today. And might I add, I sent a considerable bouquet with Talia, and even asked Nina about your condition. Oh, and we FaceTimed yesterday, so don't even try to yap about it.”

“Fuck off, you ain't a great best friend.” Taehyung clicked his tongue.

“Why so fucking sour, or you haven't got your dick sucked.” A disinterested whip in Jungkook's remark.

“My my, look at you being soft and shit for me. I'm touched, fucking moved, so much that I might like to hang up the phone and directly comes to punch you.” Taehyung's upper lip curled into a sneer as his eyes briefly flickered over his knuckles. There was faint bruises and instant satisfaction rolled into him on imagining Hyeon’s limp body on the ground. 

“You are definitely sex deprived.” Jungkook snickered.

“For the last time, our relationship is very healthy.” Taehyung chided out, not mentioning the fact that just some hours ago, he had a disastrous meltdown in front of Nina. 

“Then why are you in such a foul mood? Is Nina okay?” 

“I was mean to her.”

“Clarify mean?”

“Something happened.” Taehyung's grip tightened around the steering wheel and he swallowed the distasteful feeling. “She wanted to comfort me and—” 

“And you didn't let her, and probably acted like an unbearable cunt that you are.” The displeasure was evident in Jungkook's curt voice, and it tightened Taehyung's stomach with tension. 

“Mhm right, I feel shit.” Taehyung recalled the look Nina gave him, as if he were a ticking bomb that was nearing the explosion point. He hated that pity and sympathy on Nina’s beautiful face, as well as the sadness in her eyes. It became something gigantic and sharp, piercing directly at his soul.

“Last time I was mean to Tal, she locked me out of the house, made me sleep in my car, and defy me the whole week and.” Jungkook took a dramatic pause. “Didn't let me come near her, so much that I was sexually frustrated and lashed out at everyone who dared to breathe in my vicinity.” And Taehyung could vividly imagine Jungkook losing his mind and unleashing hell on everything and everyone that moves. 

“Deserved. You can't have a queen all for yourself without any chaos. She’s my favorite for a reason.” Taehyung shrugged, making a mental note to talk shit about Jungkook when he would meet Talia.

“I'll let my Talia know to share some tips with Nina, it might help her in the near future, as you are being an ungrateful asshole to her." A hint of a smile in Jungkook's tone.

“I thought we were friends.” 

“I don't remember having you as a friend.”

“Yeah, I recall you are just allergic to genuine human connection.” 

“I'm not allergic to human connection. I'm just immune to your imbecility, there's a difference.” 

“At least, my imbecility is charming, your self-absorbed ass is just overrated—” Taehyung waited for another witty remark from Jungkook but all he got a guttural sigh. 

“Anyway, women don't like it when you pour your frustration on them, especially when all they want to help you. Save the attitude for the stage, not your relationship. They might not show it just to stand firm in their ground but deep down they get hurt, upset and tend to overthink, at least mine is like this. She is a real diva when she is mad.” Taehyung pressed his lips together and nodded.

“I know.” Taehyung forced his voice out, wincing at the sound of his own apprehension. “I didn't mean it. My Nina seems unfazed, but it's killing me. Sometimes it's hard to open up. I try to shake off my anger and bitterness about useless things that have nothing to do with her, but I end up giving her a hard time instead.”

“Pushing her away isn't fair. You belong to her, so your anger and bitterness towards useless things are definitely her business.”

"I wanna see her happy, not worrying over me…” Taehyung chewed other words that were on the verge of breaking out but he decided to keep them to himself. 

What could he say to Jungkook, anyway? That Nina’s smile was the only thing that made his darkness fade, but he was the one casting shadows on her light? It was suffocating him, knowing he was the reason she was probably crying and pacing around the room. He knew she was contemplating calling him, but Nina respected his space, as much as she wanted him close. In this chaos, Taehyung felt utterly lost, consumed by misery, and he didn't know how to escape the hell within him.

“But not letting her get close to your walls would give her a stroke. Nina is madly in love with you. I swear on every penny I own in this world, that girl walks around with hearts in her eyes for you. I caught her smiling to herself, that was kinda creepy.” Jungkook paused when Taehyung made a disapproval sound through his throat.

“Hey don’t call my red creepy, she is divine.” Taehyung's expression turned comically affronted, his eyebrows shooting up in exaggerated offense as Jungkook snorted a low laugh. 

“Fuck off, you guys are the same. I called you an asshole the other day and Nina looked at me as if she wanted to claw my eyes out.” His shock was comically visible and that was both hilarious and endearing.

“I don't deserve her.” A sad smile lightened his face and then he shook his head as if that would rid him of the mental image of her tears and shredding his insides with guilt. In that moment, he would’ve given anything to erase that hurt from Nina's expression. Witnessing it was pure agony, but knowing he was the reason for it? fucking disastrous.

“Enough with the self-pity fest and cliché pep talks. You’re worthy of her, and she chose you for a reason. Your relationship is your domain, so take responsibility and be the partner you think she deserves. And honestly, I’ve got better things to do than babysit your cluster-fuck ass.” Taehyung chuckled, knowing that his best friend might never be loud with his affection, but Jungkook always managed to show it through his thoughtful, silent actions.

“What if one day she just stops wanting me?” There, Taehyung said it and his heart lurched by the thought. The silence from his best friend made Taehyung realize that he should have kept his doubt to himself.

“Simple, you’ll chase her and remind her why she fell for you in the first place. She’s yours and what’s yours, you don't let go of.” Taehyung listened to Jungkook carefully, and something paused those ugly thoughts and the series of ‘what ifs’ in his head. For a moment, the tension, and worry that had been building up inside Taehyung began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of gratitude towards Jungkook.

“I will, thanks.” Taehyung had a smile on his face and his chest was light as if a burden had been lifted up.

“My Talia is waiting. Later."

“Tell Queen, her favorite man misses her.”

“Fuck you, I'm her favourite man.” Taehyung chuckled at Jungkook's possessive snarl. “Go, talk to Nina.” 

Jungkook hung up, and Taehyung decided to head back to Nina. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as he drove down the deserted road leading to their home. Suddenly, a figure appeared in the middle of the road, right in front of his car. Taehyung's eyes narrowed and then flared open while his heart kicked against his ribs.

“No, no, no...not again!” Taehyung exclaimed, his voice shaking.

It was his little sister— Aiya was standing in the middle of the road. She kept staring at him with an unblinking gaze. But that was impossible. With a racing heart and buzzing nerves, Taehyung slammed on the brakes, and when he blinked again. She wasn't there, leaving Taehyung shaken and haunted.

“This can't be happening.” His shaky hands lifted to swipe all over his face, the coldness of his skin flinched him. “I thought I was over this. I thought I was finally okay. Why now?” Taehyung whispered, his voice cracking. 

“Fuck, am I hallucinating again?” Taehyung gripped his hair and pulled the strands, he kept doing that until pain exploded and he could breathe clearly. “This can't be real. I can't be like this, again.” 

+++

my sweetest, darling boy deserve the world. When I started the book I didn't know I would love Taehyung this much <3