Catalina Konan

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I stopped abrubtly upon entering the office when I saw people inside.

It was Light and Sir Claudius.

Kakagaling ko lang sa cafeteria para kumain at pagbalik ko, nandito na sila sa office. Bigla tuloy akong kinabahan sa hindi ko malamang kadahilanan nang magtagpo ang paningin namin ni Sir Claudius.

Sa tingin ko ay nahihiya pa rin ako sa kan'ya tungkol sa pang-te-terminate sa 'kin sa Dwellsmith-- of course it’s his company as well!

"Good afternoon, Light and Sir Claudius," I greeted politely as I slowly entered the door.

"Konan..."

Napalunok ako at tinignan si Sir Claudius na seryosong nakatingin sa 'kin. Ano 'yun may nasabi ba 'kong mali?!

"Didn’t I tell you to call me by my name?" he said nonchalantly, "I don’t want to be called by ‘Sir’ from someone who is not under my contract."

Looking at him, I kinda space out for a moment. He's sitting crossed legs on the sofa with both arms folded on his chest--- his soft black tousled hair is naturally making him more attractive, on his right chest on the suit is a little pocket with a violet handkerchief. His beautiful jet-black eyes were looking straight into mine. Expression was blank and kind of intimidating. I knew I was used to looked at him like this but in this moment, staring at each other in this room for so long, felt like a strange twitchiness in me.

Ghad, why are you so beautiful even in that look?

"Konan?"

I snapped back at reality when I heard his baritone voice called my name.

"S-Sir... I mean, C-Claudius."

Do I really have to just call him by his name? Hindi ba 'yun kabastos-bastos pakinggan? Lalo na at hindi naman kami magkaibigan, hindi ako kagaya nina Tiara na kaibigan niya.

I was his subordinate in Dwellsmith. Now, I’m still his subordinate-- just an underling who should give respect to his boss.

"Hi, Konan." nabaling ang atensyon ko kay Light na nasa harapan lang din niya.

Ngumiti ako rito, "Magandang araw, Light," saka ko naalala, "Oo nga pala, mayro’n na ‘kong benefeciary para sa gagawing party. Nakagawa na rin ako ng speech and programs, place and theme. Schedule na lang ang kulang."

"Oh? In just two days?"

I proudly nodded, "Yes! I worked hard just to finished it in two days. Gusto ko sana na bago ako makahanap ng guest, buo na ang plano. I got that tip from Tiara."

Lumakad ako sa table ko at kinuha ro'n ang notebook ko kung saan detalyadong nakasulat do'n ang outline ng charity party. Lumapit ako sa kanila at umupo sa gitna para isiwalat ang mga nabuong plano.

Tumikhim muna 'ko, "Gavin was the one who brought the idea. So this is it," saka ko binuksan ang notebook, "We’ve decided to have Shiloh Orphange to be our benefeciary. They were located at Montego Hill, not far away from here and the formal negotiation was scheduled for tomorrow. Napag-isipan ko ‘to dahil... hindi naman lahat ay may magulang. ‘Yung iba sa kanila ay hindi kaya magpalaki ng bata kaya napupunta ito sa mga ampunan, inaabanduna. May iba namang naglalayas at mas pinipili na lang na manirahan do’n. Since they were helping to provide the needs of this children, I think it’s worth it to give them help especially if they don’t recieve enough financial aid from the government."

Nakita kong dahan-dahan tumango si Light sa mga sinabi ko. Napangiti ako sa loob ko. I want to impress him, but I want to impress Sir Claudius more.

"Well then, I approved it. I like it," saad ni Light.

Hindi ko napigilang mapasinghap at panlakihan siya ng mata. Lumabas ang malaking ngiti sa labi ko dahil sa galak, "T-Thank you, Light! Thank you!"

"Yes, and about the party date... I haven’t decided it yet. But rest assured that it’ll be on the month of May," bulalas niya.

"Okay lang kaya ‘yun sa mga makakausap kong guests?"

"It’s alright. Make them sure that it will happen on May and on weekends."

"Got it!"

Tumingin ako kay Sir Claudius na nasa gano'ng posisyon at ekspresyon pa rin-- blangko. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang isipin kung hindi niya ba 'yun nagustuhan o ano?

Then suddenly, he heaved a small sighed, "I also approved of this," he spoke firmly.

Lalo akong nagalak sa sinabi niya, "Yes! Yes---"

"However, we can’t afford to get too excited and ruin everything when we haven’t decided on a date yet. For sure, everyone will get happy and excited to hear that. But I’d like it, if everyone would calm down a bit," he said in all seriousness.

Err... sana nakarinig muna ako ng kaunti, maliit o kakarampot na puri mula sa 'yo, 'di ba?

Maliit na ngumiti si Light sa akin at nagpaumanhin, "Sorry, that is so Claudius. But you did well, Konan. Thank you."

Buti pa si Light may appreciation...

"It’s better than having your expectations turn into disappointment. Containing your emotions and dealing with these matters properly will also prevent mistakes," dagdag pa ni Sir Claudius kaya naman bahagyang umawang ang labi ko.

Ibig bang sabihin nito, hangga't wala pang bunga, wala pa siyang karapatan magalak kahit kaunti? I can sense a bit of hesistation in him.

Maybe this is why Zen said that most of the times, he's just like a robot.

"So, Konan..." Light spoke again, "I think it’s time for you to communicate with potential guests."

Shemay, mukhang ito na nga.

Kinakabahan ako. I-e-explain ko lang naman ang tungkol sa party 'di ba? Hindi naman siguro ako mapapahiya lalo't pinaghandaan ko 'to. Tama! Hindi ka mapapahiya.

"Coincidentally, it seems that a friend of mine is interested in the party. He wasn’t able to go in our previous party with Betina and now that he mentioned that he’s willing to go, I think this will be your great chance... would you like to get in touch?"

Without thinking, I nodded lively, "Yes! Let me get in touch with him!"

I heard a smirk from Sir Claudius, when I turned to looked at him, his eyes were shut closed.

"Well, good luck, Konan." he wryly remarked.

Strange. I can feel the huge space...

' ' '

Hindi rin naman nagtagal ay sinabi ko na sa CVA room ang mga sinabi ko kay Sir Claudius at Light. Lahat sila ay nagustuhan 'yun kaya naman nakapagpadagdag kompiyansa 'to sa 'kin upang mas pagbutihin ang trabaho. Lalo na at... walang karea-reaksyon si Sir Claudius kanina nang sinabi ko sa kan'ya 'yun.

Nasa akin ang malakas na determinasyon na gusto ko siyang purihin ako. Dahil ayoko mapahiya sa kan'ya at kay Tiara, gusto ko na makita ni Sir Claudius 'yung mga effort ko.

Mali ba kung nanaisin ko 'yun? I was never complimented before from my job and... working to Sir Claudius again for the second time and hearing his enormous admiration for Tiara's working skills-- makes me wanna praise, too.

Oo, naiinggit ako kay Tiara sa kagalingan niya. Kaya pinagbubutihan ko ang trabaho at iniiwasang magkamali.

One praise from Sir Claudius is all I want to hear.

"How is your work? I’m sorry I wasn’t able to visit you yesterday," litanya ni Hailey habang nag-aayos ng mga papel na nasa lamesa.

Tinanggal ko ang paningin sa monitor ko at nilingon siya, "That’s okay! You must be busy as chief assistant."

Bumuntong hininga naman siya kasabay ng pag-ayos niya ng suot na salamin, "My day has been the same as always, so yeah it’s always busy," sagot niya, "Sir Claudius went here earlier, right? He went straight to a meeting with his father so now I have time to visit you while arranging this papers."

"Yeah he’s with Light. But... as Sir Claudius’s assistant, don’t you have to follow him everywhere?" I asked curiously.

"That's true," she returned herself to those papers, "But I don’t dare to join a family meal. Times like this, I’m glad to just be an entry-level employee. But honestly, I do feel bad that Sir Claudius didn’t seem too happy to go to that late lunch."

Hindi mapigilang mangunot ang noo ko. Kailan ba siya naging masaya? Aside from that, if that was his father, he should be grateful to have a lunch meeting with him.

Depende na lang kung kagaya ito sa 'kin na hindi kami magkasundo ng mga magulang ko.

But I doubt that's the reason why Sir Claudius isn’t that happy to have lunch with his dad.

"Does he not get along with his father?" tanong ko.

"That’s not necessarily true... Sir Claudius has considerable respect towards his father but... as Sir Claudius predicted, there was someone new besides Mr. Lefebre."

Hindi ko 'yun agad na-gets, "Someone new? What do you mean by that?"

Hailey turned to looked at me and sighed, "Woman. That's what I’m talking about."

"Wait, how about his mother? I mean, may ibang babae ang tatay ni Sir Claudius?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.

But in the first place, things like this is usually normal for a rich man like him. Syempre, maraming babae 'yan, hindi maiiwasang lapitan. Pero hindi pa rin 'yun tama lalo at kung may asawa siya. Kung 'yun ang dahilan, hindi 'yun maganda para kay Sir Claudius. Siguradong masakit 'yun sa parte niya. Pero anong reaksyon ng mama niya rito? Nakakasama niya pa kaya ito?

Sandali, Konan. Bakit ba masyado kang tsismosa sa buhay niya? Kailan pa 'yan nagsimula, aber?

Napailing ako sa sarili ko at winakli na lang ang mga iyon.

"I don't know much of a detail but all I knew was that his parents were not together anymore," sagot ni Hailey sa tanong ko kanina.

Sumandal ako sa swivel chair at napatango. Mabuti naman kung gano'n. Akala ko nama'y may asawa pa 'to.

"It’s a headache for Sir Claudius, seeing his dad changed his girlfriend every now and then. I can’t even imagine how it must be for him," dagdag pa nito, "So, it’s understandable that sometimes, he's a quick-tempered person."

Sumang-ayon ako, "Although Sir Claudius seemed to be always reserved, maybe it's hard for him too. But why do you think his father changes women every now and then?"

"Kapag nakuha na nila ‘yung gusto nila kay Mr. Lefebre, saka nila ito iniiwan. Seems like Mr. Lefebre isn’t bothered by that and Sir Claudius encountered them all this time. It's understandable why he stays away from women."

"But... isn’t he close with Tiara?"

Tumango siya sa 'kin, "Sir Claudius never talked to any woman other than Silvanna and Betina. Kung nagtataka ka kung paano niya nagagawa ang mga proposal for business purposes sa ilang business women na nakasalamuha namin, well... he's words were only sugar coated to hear what he wants to hear, after successfully managed those proposals, he’ll get back to his unfriendly side and start to ignore them again. Kami naman ni Sir Claudius, hindi naman gano’n ang relasyon namin. I’m his assistant, an employee, so he is treating me professionally. Unlike Betina, he seemed closed-knit over her. Same as Silvanna, he was closed with her, too. Of course she is Light’s ex-girlfriend and the head of this CVA."

Narinig ko naman na 'to sa mga ka-trabaho ko dati pero ngayong naririnig ko ng harapan kay Hailey-- na siyang mas nakakakilala kay Sir Claudius, hindi ko maiwasang hangaan siya lalo. This... somehow answered why he has no other female friends other than Tiara, Silvanna and Light's sister, as to what I’ve heard.

Iniisip siguro niya na halos karamihan sa mga babae, pera at materyal lang ang gusto sa isang lalaki. This is why he’s so distant to other women except those three...

Sa mga oras na 'to, wala akong ibang maramdaman kung 'di awa para kay Sir Claudius. Hindi ko siya masisisi na 'yun tingin ang niya sa karamihan ng babae lalo at 'yun ang madalas niyang nasasaksihan sa ama niya pero... hindi naman pwedeng habambuhay, gano'n ang iisipin niya-- hindi lahat ay gano'n.

Strangely, I want to tell that to Sir Claudius. But I know I will only looked like an idiot.

Maybe if I am Tiara or Silvanna? Maybe I can say that to him. But sadly, I'm just Konan. Sir Claudius and I aren’t even inch close.

That is why whenever I'm around him, I can feel his distant towards me. Even when I'm still at Dwellsmith, he is so cold to me.

What will I do to impress you, Sir? I wish I could.