Amber Heard as Michelle Taylor

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Fighting Temptation: Capítulo Ventidue

It was so awkward.

So damn awkward.

"Hm," My dad grunted from his chair as he looked everywhere else but the person he was speaking to. "Nice bruise you got there," He nodded in the direction of my father, who sat at his desk with a bruise on the side of his face, the size of Antartica. "How'd ya get it?" He murmured, squirming in his seat under the very watchful gaze of Raymundo, who had this look of longing in his eyes. "Mhm, one protective best friend you have there." He snorted. "Micah sure gave me a big ass punch and Ramone threatened to shoot me in the head with a gun if I didn't own up to my problems." He replied, a small smile on his face as he stared at my dad, his cheeks blazing red.

"And what are those problems exactly?"

Both heads snapped towards me as I interrupted their silent love confession. It was sickening to my eyes because anyone could tell that they missed each other. I could even see the ring that my dad threw on the ground, sitting on the desk as if it was waiting for its rightful owner.

Raymundo sighed. "I really didn't want to kill that boy's mother, seriously," He said after a moment of silence, clicking his teeth. "It's just that Vladimiro would have killed you," He motioned to me. "If I didn't do what he wanted me to do." I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "So it was my life in exchange for hers?" He nodded in reply. "Why?" I questioned and he sighed, leaning back in his chair. "He knew of Calandra's betrayal and he wanted to eliminate that." He began. "I wasn't going to do it because I had nothing to do with it, but then he threatened to kill you if I didn't. While a mafia group gets threats on the daily, I felt particularly unsure of leaving you unprotected." He confessed and I tilted my head, wondering where the sudden fatherly affection came from.

"I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you." He muttered and my dad and I looked at each other with a side eye. Yea, fucking right. "That's why I pressured you so much to take over so quickly because if Vladimiro tried to kill you, it'd be a declaration of war against us," Ray grunted out and my eyes widened. "Seeing as he only had a few men on his side versus our large group, he wouldn't have attempted anything." He explained and it all started to piece together.

Everything that I fucking do, I do it for you! Just so I can protect you pendejo, and you don't even see that!

"That's what you meant..." I trailed off. He wasn't trying to do it for his own good. He wanted me to stay away from Antonio because he knew of his connection Vladimiro. Each and every time I was with him, I was unknowingly pushed closer to the demon's gate. He was merely trying to look out for me. "If it was at least one person that I could protect, I'd protect the most important one." He looked at me with a soft leer on his lips and it was as if the light began to shine directly over him as if illuminating his appearance. It was all started to come together, why he was pressuring me so much to take over, why he pestered every single chance. It was because he was looking out for me. "What do you mean at least one person, Ray?" I turned my head to see my dad, Derek, looking at my father, his blue eyes glazed over with concern as he folded his arms, putting his long hair over his ear. Raymundo merely watched the action, clear want in his eyes and it made me shudder.

Ray sighed. "He didn't really have much to use against me. My group was much bigger than his, my monies well secured, but there was one thing that he could use as leverage." He stared Derek in the eye.

"My family."

We furrowed our brows as we stared at the man behind the desk, looking as disheveled and sloppy as ever. "I had men protecting your parents and my parents," He said to Derek. "Men protecting our children, my brother, and his family, everyone." He looked at me with a side eye. "That included Antonio." I clicked my tongue as he continued. "But I am only one man and I can't watch over every single person, even if I wanted to." He lamented. "He threatened to capture every single one of you and put you before me, brutally torturing you until you begged to die," He let out a harsh breath and I could see just how much this was affecting him.

The threat was nothing, but to a man like Raymundo Vega, family appeared to be everything.

"Then he would have killed you in front of me and as a result, left me alive just so I can experience true pain," He murmured. "That's one thing I never want to ever feel." He finished and we all sat in thought. "I wasn't going to chance anything at all. I couldn't and wouldn't let anything happen to you," He looked at both Derek and I. "Either of you." He clipped as he folded his arms, resolve crumbling.

"You are my pride and joy," He looked at me with stars twinkling in his eyes as he tilted his head. "My everything, Ramiro." There was a grin on his lips and I couldn't stop myself from mirroring his actions. "I just want you to know that." He whispered and I smiled, feeling myself in happier spirits than ever. "I'm proud of you, son, and everything that you have done thus far, pendejo," Ray said, the insult being of nothing but affection and my heart soared, feeling that iron wall collapse and fall.

That was all I wanted, to feel accepted by him. He might not have been the most affectionate father of the year, but at least I knew that he loved me. I knew that he always thought of me, even when I thought I never crossed his mind. Even when I thought I could never match up to his standards, he just let me know that I crossed that line a long time ago.

Nothing made me happier.

"...thank you, papi." I hummed, feeling free. "Thank you for everything." I mentioned and his eyes crinkled as he beamed in reply and it felt like everything was moving a step forward. Everything that he did, he did for me. Every action that he did, every step that he took, it was for me. It made me see him in a whole new light and I never felt so cherished. Well, except for the times when he held me. "Hmph," My dad grunted as he stood, making a show of him stretching his hands. "Then why didn't you just say that stupid?" Derek walked slowly around to the desk. "Always taking it upon yourself to brunt the bear of the burden." He reached out a hand to caress Ray's skin.

"You never change, do you?" He smiled softly as he looked down at his significant other, the latter's hands coming up to rest on his hips and suddenly, I felt like I was intruding. "Don't forget that I'm here too. You have me to rely on." He said adamantly and my father smiled so bright, it hurt my eyes. It was as if all of the tension from his body disappeared within that instant and his persona was replaced with a man in love.

"I'm sorry." They both said at the same time. They stared at each other, blue into brown as shit-eating grins split their faces. "I really missed you, Derek." My father confessed. "Please don't ever leave me like that again." He whispered as he placed his head on Derek's stomach. "Even if I did, you unimportant character, I'd always come back to you." He replied as he rubbed the head on his stomach. It was so beautiful, so pure how they couldn't stand to stay away from each other. This break did nothing but disservice them because they both looked utterly horrible apart but so gracious together.

"But I do believe that you have something to give me," Derek mumbled with a gleam in his eyes and my father couldn't help himself as he fumbled, reaching for the ring and grabbing it. "I might as well superglue the damn thing to your finger," He slid it back on with ease. "Just so you can never take it off again."

Derek finished that claim with a soft kiss to my father and while the action was endearing and all, I did not want to see that.

"I'll take over," I blurted out, feeling really exhausted. It had come to this point, to where I didn't even care anymore. He was pushing this on me so long and bugging me about it so why not? Even if there was no cause anymore, I had nothing else for me anyway. "I'll be the head of Los Zotos." I murmured, running a hand through my hair. My dad pulled back with a look of shock as my father's eyes widened. He looked at me incredulously as if he thought I told him I had two penises. "Ramiro you don-" I cut him, not wanting to hear anything else. "I said I'll do it." I waved a hand at him.

"I want to do it." Uncle Ramone let the second affiliation fall because he had no point for it anymore, but I wanted to take over the remaining one. You know, let my dad take a vacation like it's one of them 8 to 5 jobs that paid meager salaries.

That's not your only reason.

It wasn't, that was for sure. "Hey, papi?" I cut in through the struck silence as they both stared at me, unsure of what to say. "Um," I cleared my throat. I had to know. I needed to know. "Why exactly have you been after A-A-Antonio," I stuttered over his name and I blushed, embarrassed. It had been a while since I said his name and it had been so hard to because my heart wouldn't stop screaming in pain each and every time I even said his name in my head. My heart still screamed, I just got better at tuning it out. "Oh," Ray stammered as he put his hand in between his chin. "Well, it turns out that Vladimiro had been watching you for a while now." He began and I cringed in disgust. "I thought it'd be better if I eliminated Antonio because if I did, his focus on you would have depleted." He explained.

"That and I merely became more focused on him when I realized he was the center of your attention."

He said it so quietly and so full of guilt, that I couldn't find it in me to be upset. I couldn't even find it in me to cry, yet it was always that singular tear that made its presence known. "Oh yeah?" I whispered, my lip quivering heavily. "That's..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say. What could I say? There was nothing.

I was so lonely. 

The person I wanted beside me wasn't there and it really hurt. I was so damn lonely. There were no words that could put together what I was feeling and I was at a loss. How? How could I move on?

My parents sat there, staring at me as if they didn't know what to say. They couldn't say anything. After all, they had each other to come home to and hold each other at night when one of them was sad or feeling in need. All I had was my cold bed and the sound of the rain pattering against the windows.

It was as if the weather mirrored my mood because it rained every day for the past 3 weeks. There was no sun in sight, no sign of smiling grass and crisp and cool weather, and it didn't do anything to make me feel better about myself. About anything. I still felt so terrible, so sick, so down. 

Each day, I tell myself that I'm strong and I can get on and keep going and not look back, but every time I lay my head on my pillow at night, a part of me dies inside. It didn't help that I still held onto memories of us because I knew I couldn't take a step forward if I still reached out. And I always would. That was the sad part about it, I wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop. I needed him and it scared me to my entire core. Why did I need him? Why did I want to need him? Why? All of these questions and yet, there was no answer in sight.

"I don't know." I mumbled in reply, letting my head fall over so I could look at the ground. "I don't." I was slightly envious how my parents could bounce back from a mishap like this, one that almost destroyed their marriage, and yet I couldn't get a text from him? I couldn't get this little miscommunication fixed. I couldn't do anything because it was done and over, but I still found myself trying to grasp and reach for the back of his shirt.

It was so beautiful yet so disheartening.