I wake up on the couch. My teeth almost literally chattering as I sat up from the couch.

The fireplace has burnt out, the television now plays some show selling cheap capital jewelry.

I wrap myself in a large fluffy blanket and stand up. I rush across the tile flooring in the hallway, and softly tread upstairs.

I check the children, both of them still soundly sleeping. I close the door without making any sounds.

I walk into Peeta and I's room. I find a huge mound of blankets on the bed. I don't ever remember having this many blankets. Let alone having this many in the house.

I walk over to the bed softly, and peer around looking for my husband in the blankets. I strip one off the top, and still can't see him. Then I strip another, and see a hand.

I grab the blanket right above him and pull them all off. I expect him to wake, so I drop to my knees smiling like an idiot.

He continues to sleep. "Peeta." I say quickly. "Peeta?" I say again. He still doesn't move. "Peeta?" I shake him.

I start to panic. "Peeta!" Lilly begins to cry in the other room.

"Peeta please!" I cry. "Wake up!"

Tears spill down my cheeks. I grab his arm, putting my fingers against the inside of his wrist.

No pulse.

"Peeta!" I scream. "Peeta please wake up!"

I shake him violently, tears spilling down onto him. With all my might I flip him over, and feel his neck again.

I press my hands above his chest and press down, starting CPR. I pinch his nose, tilt his head back, and breath twice quickly into his mouth. I continue to do CPR.

"Peeta!" I cry. "Please wake up!"

A door flies open beside me. Haymitch appears, still in his night clothes.

I look back at Peeta. I continue CPR for endless more minuets, still to no avail.

Haymitch touches my arm.

"Sweetheart-"

"No!" I cry. "He can't go! He can't!" I scream.

"Sweetheart. He's gone." Said haymitch with tears all over his face.

"No!" I scream. "No! No! No!"

We both just stare. Stare blankly at the wall across from his body. He holds my hand, both of us knowing there is nothing else do to.

My mind doesn't know how to think.
My children don't have a father.
I am all alone in this world.
I have no one.
I am totally, utterly, alone.

Tonight, I'll send the children to my mothers. Then I'll end it all. Going back home to my lover, sister and friends. 

"Sweetheart I'm-"

"Ahh!"

For a second, I'm dreaming. I think because of the emotions I see his chest rise and fall quicker than I can blink.

But then it happens again. And then I can hear his breathing, and I see his chest. And his finger twitches. And his eyes open.

I sit still, paralyzed. Unable to even comprehend what was going on.

"Kat?" A soft voice whisper. "Kat?" He asks again.

Haymitch touches my arm, and all at once the world is back at normal speed.

He sits up. "Katniss are you alright?"

"Peeta! You died!" I exclaim. "Your heart literally stopped!" I cry falling onto him.

"I took some medicine to help me sleep." 

"It stopped your heart!" I cry.

"Where's the medicine?" Haymitch asks me.

Peeta points to the nightstand. I curl myself around him, still quietly shaking and crying softly. "It's okay." He whispers.

"T-That's t-twice!" I breath. "Twice y-your heart stopped w-with me."

"I'm sorry Katniss." He whispers. "It's okay. Everything's okay."

"Peeta you can't fight. Your gonna stay here." I tell him sitting up. I bend down though to touch his face, to make sure he's real. 

"I feel fine." He tells me. "I just used a little too much medicine."

"I'm sending this into the lab." Said Haymitch. "Something about this is off. Where did you get it?"

"Some man sent it to me in the mail. I haven't ever heard of him, but he said it would help me sleep."

"Sleep forever." Haymitch says. "This smells like venom concentrate." He informs us.

"Venom concentrate?" I chime in.

"Yeah. They put the fangs of a rattle snake onto a jar and they squirt out venom. Then they use it to cure snake bites."

"How ironic." Peeta says.

"so wait.." I say slowly. "Someone.. tried to kill Peeta?"

"Yes. Just by looking at the basic and obvious signs, that's the way it looks. But I am no cop."

Peeta begins to sit up. "Hey wait, don't sit up. I'm going to call a doctor."

"No need for that Kat. I'm fine." I look at him skeptically. "I really am! Look."

I watch as he stands slowly, and makes a sad attempt at a jumping jack. He begins to topple over, but Haymitch catches him. "Sit back down boy." He tells him. "We won't call a doctor but your on bed arrest."

"Okay okay." He says.

"If you feel anything, at all, I want you to call me. Or write it down. Or tell Katniss, or anyone. Just tell someone."

Peeta nods. "But I am still taking this to the lab."

"That's fine." He says.

Haymitch leaves the room, and I cuddle back into his side. He died today. I almost lost him. One day I will, and nothing will stop me from ending it all.

***
A Few Days Later.

He sit in bed together. Gently, he kisses me and his hands roam around my body. I ruffle my fingers through his long, soft hair; he does the same.

He reaches for my bra. I twist my arm to stop his hand. "No." I whisper softly into his lips.

"Why?" He says huskily.

"I don't want to get pregnant."

"That wouldn't be a bad thing." He says between kisses.

"Yes it would. We're going to war. I don't want to lose it again."

He breaks, and pulls my shirt back down. "Okay." He says.

"You can still kiss me." I say.

"It's fine. I'm tired actually." I frown; he isn't tired, he's just doesn't want to be awake all night if it isn't to have sex.

"If you have any protection, we can go ahead." I whisper into his cheek.

"Only if you want to." He shrugs.

"Peeta I don't care. If you want to we can. I miss you."

"Well in that case." He smiles rolling over on top of me, he reaches in the drawer beside us and pulls out a roll of protection.

"I love you Katniss." He murmurs.

"I love you too Peeta."

***
That Morning.
Peeta's POV;

I wake with a loud yawn, and stretch my arms out openly. I sit up and look around the room, clothes strewn around the room; and a plastic square wrapper on the floor by the bed.

I pull on a pair of sweatpants, but put no t-shirt on. I brush my teeth, comb my hair, and then finally leave the bathroom.

The kids are still silently sleeping in their room, so I quietly creep down the wooden stairs.

I find my beautiful Katniss, she's standing still naked. Her back to me, but something in her hand.

"Katniss?" I ask softly. She doesn't move, doesn't even twitch. I take a deep breath and move around to the front of her.

Her eyes are dark, almost instantly I back up. "Katniss." I say quietly. Without taking my eyes off her, I turn the doorknob and rush to Gale's house.

"Gale!" I pound on the door. "Gale open up something's wrong!"

He rushes to the door, pulling a shirt on and coming out of the house.

"What?"

"Sometimes wrong with Katniss."

He rushes ahead of me. He opens the door. "Katniss!" He barks. He takes the knife from her and throws it across the room. "Katniss wake the hell up! Your asleep."

"I'm .... asleep ... " She says ghostly.

"Yes. You are. So go back to bed." He says turning her around and grabbing her wrist softly.

"Don't touch me!" She shrieks twisting his wrist and pushing it against his back. "Don't." She pauses. "Touch me."

"Okay! Okay." He says. "I won't touch you Catnip. Just go up to bed." She looks at him evilly. Her eyes still very dark.

She turns without another word and walks upstairs.

"What the hell was that about?" I bark angrily.

Gale sighs shaking his head. "Nothing."

"Nothing?! She was fixin' to kill someone!"

"But she didn't." He says. "And she won't remember it in the morning. So don't say anything about it, alright?"

"Gale she needs a doctor or-"

"She don't need shit!" He barks. "She just needs to sleep and relax a bit. Okay?"

I growl. "Fine."