Five years ago

"Why did you push him down the stairs, Hailey?" My mom questioned with anger evident in her eyes.
My mom had no patience for what she termed 'unruly' behavior, which I personally term 'well-deserved punishment to people that annoy me.' This is one of the reason we never agree, we think way differently.
I rolled my eyes and kept mute as I kept tapping my left foot in impatience. I don't know why my mom is fussing over him, it was just a two step stairs, not like I pushed him down a cliff and he died.

"You will not roll your eyes at me young lady." My mom scolded me.
"Cecilia, let her be. The boy is fine, isn't he? Besides, I know that Leticia isn't rash. She must have had a reason to do what she did." My dad defended me as he tried not to laugh when my mom glared at him for saying such.
"Whether she had a reason or not, what she did was terrible and uncalled for. I think she's becoming a bitter person because of... because of..." Mom stammered unable to complete her sentence, but I already knew what she wanted say.

"Because of my sickness. Come on finish it mom, it's not that hard. It's not like it's a huge secret. It's evident in my appearance." I taunted her angrily.
"Oh Hailey!" Mom gasped, as she attempted to hug me. Any mention of the elephant in the room that is my sickness obviously, makes mom become emotional but I wasn't having it today. I drew back before she could hug me.

"Don't let your sickness define you dear, you are better than your sickness, don't feel like you are worthless because you are worth more than your sickness," I said to mom in anger and she kept mute with tears running down her cheeks so I continued, "That was your pep talk mom, not Dad's, not Carson's, but yours! Now you say I'm becoming bitter. I'm not becoming bitter, I was just merely defending myself. I don't hate anyone neither do I blame anyone for what's happening to me and if I don't blame anyone that this sickness chose me, How can I be bitter about something I don't blame anyone for?" I finished while breathing heavily in anger.

"I didn't mean you are becoming bitter literally dear." Mom weakly tried to defend herself. Even her knew her excuse couldn't hold water.
"You said it mom, meaning you have been thinking or have thought about it. Mom, I never wanted to do chemotherapy. I just wanted to let go and just die. I can't have a normal life that other kids like me have, I can't go to birthday parties for the fear that other kids will see me as hideous and become afraid. I remember when you took me to the park, when you told me to wait for you to purchase our tickets. As I was waiting at the stand, a child probably four or five walked passed me with his mom and the child said, "Look mom, a monster." The mom gasped and apologized for her child's attitude, but I can tell she just did so merely to be polite. I saw it in her eyes, she thought so too, but when you came did you see me crying?" I questioned my mom, she shook her head in reply.

"I didn't even cry that we should go back, and I didn't even tell you what happened until now. You want to know why?" My mom nodded her head in affirmation. If not for the seriousness of the whole situation, I would have laughed 'cause of the role switch. I have taken the role of the mom giving a lecture and mom has taken the role of a child paying apt attention.

"Because somehow your whole motivational speech had gotten to me. Suddenly, I didn't care that I have to be homeschooled while everyone is at school making friends, I didn't care that I had to cut my hair cause of chemotherapy because let's face it I was still going to lose it because of the cancer. I didn't care that for the first few months of the chemotherapy I felt absolutely terrible, rather all that mattered was that I was fighting the cancer for you. When I was told I had cancer, I wanted to drop it all and let go. To me, what was the point of fighting something that had a high chance of resurfacing again but I heard you that day in the hospital. You were in an empty room, praying to God that I live. I felt selfish for thinking that others around me would not be affected by my decision, so I decided to fight for you all. Guess I was wrong about my decision. If I was bitter about it, I would have committed suicide when things were worse than now, and that was during chemotherapy. Now that the doctor has declared me cancer free for now, isn't it too late to be bitter?"

Mom and Dad were speechless as I ascended the stairs to my room. I think they were shocked that I beared so much alone. I remembered something, so I stopped climbing the stairs and turned back to them.
"I pushed him down the stairs 'cause he called me a ragged doll. I can tolerate anyone hurling insults at me out of this house but not in my house. I think it's very rude to come to my house and complain about my appearance." I finished and walked away.

I kept my emotions in check until I reached the confines of my room. I threw myself on my bed and cried my eyes out. I didn't even know when I fell asleep.
When I woke up, I checked the time on my night stand, it read three a.m. I didn't feel like sleeping anymore, so I decided to go to the balcony in my room.

When I got there, I saw the cause of the whole drama sitting in his own balcony. I was about to go back inside when I heard a voice say, "Stop, Okay? I don't want to fight."
I thought of it and against my better judgement, I came back and sat down. There was silence for sometime, but not the akward type. Just the 'thinking about the moment' kind of silence.

"I didn't mean what I said as an insult." He said, breaking the silence.
I scoffed, "Yeah right."
"No... I'm serious. I didn't mean it as an insult."

Now, let me narrate to you what happened. The person whom I'm talking to is the new neighbor. His mom bought the house from Old Mr Harris. I actually liked Mr Harris, he was a great pillar of support during my sickness.

While everyone looked at me with pity, Mr Harris never did. He didn't look at the bald and skinny eleven year old any differently. Maybe 'cause his sight was frail but I didn't care, he made me feel normal rather than a bundle of bones. Anytime I wasn't in the hospital, I was at Mr Harris house playing Bingo, Scrabble, and other games. He thought me a lot of big words I know now 'cause he was so smart. One day I went to Mr Harris house to play again, but Mr Harris wasn't on his favorite rocking chair as usual. I went to his bedroom upstairs to check on him and I saw Mr Harris sleeping. He looked so peaceful, he had a sort of smile on his face. After calling him severally and he didn't respond, I decided to alert my parents. From their conversations immediately they saw Mr Harris, I knew he was dead and never coming back. Mom called Mr Harris daughter and the whole funeral thing was arranged.

After the funeral, his daughter decided to clear out the house and sell it since her dad stipulated in the will that she can do whatever she wanted with it and since she lived far away it was the most reasonable thing to do. I know all this cause she told Mom and Mom told Dad and I heard it while on the stairs. After clearing out the house, she handed me a letter that her dad left in the house.

It read, "Dear Hailey,
I know you've told me how much you are tired of living in pain and how much you want to give it all up. I'm not writing to change your mind rather I'm writing in hope that one day you'll find a reason to smile and one to live again, so that no matter when death comes, you can smile at it's face.
Yours Harris.

The letter made me realize that I haven't found a purpose of happiness and I was merely existing and not living. So I changed my prayer to God from 'take my life Lord' to 'Help me find a purpose.' I have not found one yet, but I feel I'm close.
So his mother bought the house from Mr Harris daughter. When they started renovating, I knew that they had lots of money, but when they packed in I never saw a man in the house, it was only he and his mother. So I assumed the mom was divorced. Mom decided to invite our new neighbor for dinner at our house, I liked his mom right way. She was nice and didn't look at me like I was a freak but the son, as you can guess already, not so much.

After assessing me for two minutes, he didn't even ask me for my name but decided to give me a name and a pretty offensive one at such.
"Ragged doll." He whispered in my ear.
Although he didn't say it in a taunting way but I saw red and I didn't know when I pushed him and he rolled down the two step stair at our front door. Our mothers watching the exchange gasped in shock, I was scared at first that he had a serious injury but he seemed pretty fine. Then I became ashamed of myself for losing my cool. His mom wasn't angry at me but she said she couldn't have dinner with us again because it's scary how we both got off at the wrong foot. So you can pretty much see why mom said I was bitter. She didn't hear the comment 'ragged doll.' And even if she did, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't view it as an insult. Too bad I saw it as one.

"You see my dad used to say ragged doll was the most precious doll. He said that they've gone through a lot and their scars show how beautiful they are 'cause of how much they still hang on despite it all. So when I called you a ragged doll, I meant you are still pretty despite what you have gone through. I saw the way you looked at me with a fierce look in your eye like you expected me to hate you at first sight." He explained.

I groaned, feeling guilty once again, "Why didn't you just say that?"
He smiled a bit, "You didn't exactly give me a chance to explain before you tossed me down the stairs."
I covered my face with my palm as it heated with embarrassment, "I'm sorry." I apologized but my palm muffled my reply.

"I'm sorry... What?" He asked.
I removed my palms from my face, "I'm sorry... Okay. Don't make me repeat it again 'cause I'm already embarrassed as it is."
"You're what?" He teased again.
I glared at him when I realized that he heard my apology the first time and was just pretending like he did hear to tease me. He raised his hands in surrender, "I was just kidding. Don't want you tossing me down my balcony." He joked
.
"I may as well take you on that offer." I joked back.
"My name is Mason Lightning and I'm pleased to be acquainted with you. What's your name?" He asked.
I couldn't help myself as I burst into laughter. He had such a sophisticated way of greeting for a twelve year old. When I finally stopped, I answered his question.

"I'm Hailey Harper and I still don't like you, so never get sappy on me."
"I still think girls have cooties." He smirked.
"I'll push you off your balcony this time around." I smirked in return.
He attempted to look scared but I know he wasn't. For someone that just got pushed off the stairs a while ago, he was pretty confident and fearless.

"So where is your dad?" I asked not meaning to pry. I just wanted to know.
He shrugged nonchalantly, "He died when I was nine but mom said he is in a better place so..." He tried not to show any emotion but I could still see the pain in his eyes.

The way the house was constructed, our balcony railing was almost touching each other. So if two people sat down on the small pavement holiday the pillars of the railing, you can practically touch each other through the spaces in the railing. We can also cross over easily others balcony by scaling over the top of the railing with almost zero percent risk of falling. So I reached out and placed my left palm on his.

"I'm fine. It happened a long time. Besides, you said not to get sappy on you, so stop doing the same thing you warned against." He smiled sadly.
I didn't say anything but I held his hand to show that I'm there for him should he want anything. He closed his eyes briefly and I knew he understood what I was trying to get across. So I pulled my palm away.
"What happened to your hair?" He asked.

"It's a new trend. I decided to show boys that I make a more handsome boy than all of them put together." I joked.
I think he noticed I didn't want to talk about it, so he didn't insist rather he said, "I most certainly agree with you. You make a really handsome boy, but I'm better being handsome than you are." He smiled at me.

From that moment I knew that no matter how Mason and I disagree, he'll always have my back. I felt it and I think he felt it too.
Our friendship can never be understood by anyone. We constantly fight but I'll die before anyone hurts Mason.
Our friendship is weird because who bounds over being pushed down the stairs?

But in all the weirdness, I couldn't ask for a better friend.

There you have it. The first chapter is up!
Who's excited? I know I am!😊

Stay tuned and pressed for the next chapter.
Bye🚶