CHAPTER FOUR
A/N- I'm deeply sorry for the mix-up. I posted chapter two as chapter four in the last update.
Here is Chapter four.
So sorry about that.
Enjoy 🥂
"Please ma, Mason and I can't be partners. We'll kill each other before the project is over, everyone knows how we get." I pleaded with Mrs Levinson in her office for the upteemth time.
"Hailey, I also know and so does everyone that you and Mason are good friends regardless of how you guys argue. Don't also forget that apart from being your teacher, I'm also your mom's close friend. Whenever I come around, I've seen how your eyes light up whenever your parents invite Mason and his mom over for dinner. Your eyes obviously don't light up because of his mom, am I right?" She asked jokingly.
"You may never know, maybe I'm into moms now." I joked back.
She smiled and continued talking, "Jokes apart, I paired you with Mason 'cause I think he's the only one that can break the walls you've brought up to keep everyone away. Your mom told me that you no longer have dinner with them. She also..." She was saying when I interrupted her.
I scoffed and said, "Yeah, Hailey is now a charity case. I'm just dying not dead yet, so no one should talk behind my back when I'm still breathing. I consider that as very rude and disrespectful," I then started mimicking my mom's voice and making gestures like she'll do, "Hailey doesn't eat with us anymore, Hailey is always in her room, Hailey this and Hailey that. You all should give me a break! I think I deserve it, after all I'm dying anyways." I finished breathing heavily.
"Hailey Harper! You will not speak of your mom that way! Not in my presence! Do I make myself clear?" Mrs Levinson yelled at me. Honestly, I have never seen her lose her cool, and honestly it scared me.
I nodded meekly as I bent my head. I just wanted a change of partner, when did it turn to a shouting match and spilling of issues?
Mrs Levinson placed her hand on my shoulder lightly, "Hailey, I've known you from the moment you were given birth to you. I was there in the theater when your mom held you for the first time, I saw the smile on her face. You're a light in her life Hailey, she's just scared of losing you. She really cares about you."
"Then why do I feel that everyone is pushing me to do the surgery? I did chemotherapy when I was twelve and I barely survived. It felt horrible and everytime I wished to die. Now that the cancer is back, should I also fight it again? And risk what? It coming back again? Is this how I truly want to live the rest of my life?" I questioned no one in particular.
"That is a choice for you to make. I just want you to live your life so that you don't have regrets on your death bed. You won't wish that you lived your life instead of wallowing in pity."
"I feel like everyone is thinking I'm wallowing in pity but honestly I'm not. I've come to the terms of my illness, I just feel it's everyone that hasn't come to the terms of it. Everyday my mom thinks I don't notice but everytime I come down the stairs to maybe go to school or get something from the fridge in the kitchen, my mom's hawk eyes follows me. She thinks that I've started cutting," I paused and scoffed, "It's for that reason I've been keeping my distance. I'm not sad like people think I am." I finished.
Mrs Levinson shook her head and asked, "But the questions are, Are you truly happy? Are you truly living your life? When you are finally ready to leave this world, will you leave in peace or in regret? Can you truly say you live a fulfilled life?"
And for the first time since I started speaking with Mrs Levinson, I didn't have an answer to her questions 'cause I wasn't really sure. Am I truly living my life?
"See, even you have doubts. Hailey I wouldn't have paired you with Mason if I wasn't sure. I know that both of you will be good partners. Besides Mason already insisted that he doesn't want a change of partner. I believe you have a class now, so go on. I believe we'll talk later and hopefully it won't be about this 'cause my mind is already made up on this issue." She said obviously declaring our conversation over.
I started walking out of her office, when she called me. I turned back, facing her as I placed my left hand on the doornorb in an attempt to open it.
"Happiness is out there Hailey. Trust me, you don't want to leave the world without finding it."
I nodded and left her office. I was in a zombie mood for my remaining two periods of that day and thank God I didn't have those periods with any of my friends. Everyone knows that 'what happened?' or 'what's the matter with you?' is an automatic tear breaker. That moment you've been trying to hold it all in and someone asks you any of these questions, everything just burst out like a broken dam, and the last thing I want right now is to lose my cool.
Which is why I'm at my locker getting myself together and also dropping my textbooks. School is over for the day so this automatically means that I'll be going to the car park to ride with Brittany and Scarlett back home. I don't want them to suspect any mood change.
I was at my locker getting myself together when I felt a presence behind me.
"Boo!" Mason yelled in my ear.
I jumped a bit and turned back to glare him.
"I can't believe someone like you will soon be eighteen. You act like a child sometimes." I scolded him.
"I'm sorry grandma." He teased.
I glared at him but didn't say anything in return.
"Howdy partner." He greeted but I didn't reply.
Mason brows furrowed in confusion. I think he was surprised by my behavior. If I was normal mood, I would have handed his ass for the grandma comment. Too bad I was in a foul mood.
"What's wrong Hailey? Did anyone say anything to you? Talk to me." He said as he placed his finger under my chin and raised my face up.
I shook his finger away as I turned my face away from his.
"What is the problem Hailey?" He tried again.
I faced him sharply with anger glowing in my eyes, "You are the problem Mason! Yes, you are the problem."
Mason scrunched his face in confusion, "Me?" He asked.
"Yes, You! If you have just requested for a change of partner like I did, maybe all this wouldn't be happening." I venomously spat.
When I said that with so much venom, I paused. When did I become so bitter inside?
"Is this what all this is about? Is that how much you don't want me as a partner?" He asked, hurt evident on his face.
I saw the hurt on his face but I ignored it 'cause I've come kept my secret well, I don't need no body unraveling it. No matter how important that person is to me. Have you ever seen a movie where a murderer attempts to keep his murder secret, how desperate he is to ensure no one else discovers his secret and how he's ready to eliminate everything standing in his way, that's how desperate I am right now, well not to the point of eliminating anyone in my way. That'll be an exaggeration, but you'll get what I'm saying, Right? I'm not a bad person, I'm just really desperate to keep my secret.
"Yes! That's how much I hate having you as a partner. The sooner you request a change, the better, for our sakes." I spat out angrily.
I slammed my locker so hard that I think it got jammed. That's another problem I'll deal with tomorrow.
I walked away without a second glance at Mason. If I can guess right, his face would be like mine now. I felt my eyes brimming with tears, but I cautioned myself.
'Get yourself together Hailey. You did what you had to do to get Mason off your back. It doesn't matter what you said and how you did it.' I say to myself, in an attempt to convince my heart that what I did was right.
When I got to Brittany's car, she wasn't there and neither was Scarlett. So I used that little opportunity to perfect my smile.
"Hey Hailey, hope you didn't have to wait too long? I had to drag Scarlett off from beating Marvin to death."
Brittany greeted me as she started opening the door to her car.
Thank God she didn't notice anything wrong. I smiled for real this time 'cause of Scarlett's drama. Only Scarlett can pull of what she does 'cause she's Scarlett, period.
"And why would she want to beat Marvin to death?" I smiled at Scarlett as I got in the back seat as usual.
She huffed and entered the car angrily and slammed the door.
"Two slams in one day. Great! You both are going to get my baby hurt. Why does everyone slam my poor car door anytime they're angry? The car didn't do anything to you both." Brittany lamented as she pointed accusing fingers to the both of us. I can't blame her, the poor girl has had enough of her car door being slammed.
"We're sorry Brittany." We chorused together. I know Scarlett like me isn't feeling sorry at all and I think Brittany knew that too.
"I totally know you both are not sorry. So stop feigning it. I don't know why I chose two similar people when I was picking friends. Was I blind or what?" She asked no one in particular as she started the car.
"You were blinded by my angel nature." Scarlett said.
"I think mine was more of my alluring smile." I smiled brightly. My bad mood scurrying out of the window in a hurry.
"I beg to differ, although you both already have your minds made up. Now Scar, you care to tell us why you were almost throttling Marvin to death when I saw you?" Brittany asked as she maneuvered out of the school gate.
I highly doubt Scarlett was actually throttling Marvin to death, I think it was more of hypothetical throttle. Like Brittany saw it on her face, that she was likely to throttle him if she didn't step in.
Scarlett scoffed, "Can you believe that dirt bag is actually my partner for the whole project thing? That cheating and lying scum? And while I was complaining to the teacher about wanting a change of partner, he came in and also demanded a change. Mrs Levinson disagreed and turned the both of us out. While I was walking towards the car, that fool had the guts to tell me that I should feel privileged to be his partner. And I asked the moron why? He said that this can elevate my social status more. Then I told him the only thing getting elevated would be his neck off his head. And before you both say anything, I know that was a dark thing to say but he deserved it. Then Brittany met me when we were still arguing." She finished.
"First thing, I totally think he deserved it. If you're to ask me, I think that wasn't dark enough for that Son of a-a-a cow. Forgive me father and mother Marvin. We just got to say it how we see 'em" Brittany apologized to his parents who were not with us in the car obviously. I don't even know where they're right now, probably in their office or something.
Scarlett and I started laughing as Brittany smiled. Regardless of what's happening in my personal life, I couldn't ask for better friends. You can see why I'm keeping my personal life a secret. I don't want the mood everytime we are together to be gloomy, I want everywhere to be smiles and laughter. If I can't really smile in my house, I want to at least smile around my friends.
"I'm with Brittany. I totally think he deserved that and more. What he did was terrible." I said, after I finally got a grip of my laughter.
The thing between Marvin and Scarlett is a relationship gone wrong. Marvin and Scarlett had a good thing going on or she thought they did, until she found him buried deep into Faye, a girl in a grade below us. Yes, you got that right. She caught them having sex and the most annoying part was he wasn't even sympathetic about it. So you can already guess what we did, we toilet papered his house and egged his house. Take that, you cheater. And obviously, that left bad blood between them, and between we and Marvin. I think he had a hunch that Brittany and I assisted Scarlett 'cause there was no way she could cover so much alone. I don't feel bad about it, 'cause I never regretted my action and still don't regret my action. It's Hoes before bros.
Marvin wasn't a bad dude when he was dating Scarlett, he was an okay dude. Meaning he wasn't too bad, he wasn't too good either. More of an in the middle kind of guy, this means he had his moments. But what he did was bad, and I can never support evil.
"I'm totally bummed that I got him as a partner. It really sucks, trust me. Who did you get Brit?"
"Ohh...I got Andy Rodney." Brittany replied maneuvering into the street of my house.
"Who did you get Hailey?" She turned to me as much as the seatbelt could allow her.
"I got Mason." I replied curtly.
"Why is everyone getting getting good partners and I'm getting a dirt bag?" Scarlett lamented.
"We're sorry about it Scar. You just have to make the best out of it now Mrs Levinson refused a change." I smiled a bit trying to be positive that this partnership between Marvin and Scarlett won't end on a horrible note.
Scarlett shook her head, "The only way this partnership is going to be ending is he in a body bag and me in jail, trust me," She then faced me again, "Is there no way you can convince Mrs Levinson? She's your family friend after all."
"She wouldn't, her mind is pretty made up like a matchmaker. She feels like she has made the ultimate friendship match-making and nothing you say will faze her. I met her for a change too but she disagreed. I wanted a change 'cause we all know how bad I and Mason's disagreement can be." I added the last part so that no one would suspect a thing.
"Mason can be a good partner. You guys make up almost immediately after a disagreement to the point that it's weird, but I and Marvin? What in the world was she thinking putting the both of us together?" Scarlett the ever drama queen slapped her palm on her forehead.
"I don't know why she did what she did, but I can assure you it'll be fine. You guys just need to find a common ground and pretend like you don't want to kill him." I advised.
Scarlett already tired of lamenting and dwelling on the negative side, just nodded her head in agreement.
"Okay, we're here." Brittany announced as soon as she got to my house gate. Scarlett and Brittany are neighbours like I and Mason, which is what makes carpooling easier for the three of us. I'm picked up last and dropped off first.
I got off and waved them goodbye. I was about opening my gate when Brittany's voice stopped me.
"You know we care for you right? If there's anything wrong, you can always tell us. We'll be sure to stick beside you." Brittany assured me. I knew she noticed something was wrong. The truth is you can never fake it with your true friends 'cause they might not know what exactly is wrong, but they'll definitely know that something is up.
"Yeah... We'll be sticking beside you like an adhesive glue that never comes off. We've got your back Hailey." Scarlett said, adding to what Brit already said.
I nodded my head in reply and said, "I know you guys have my back and trust me I have your backs too. I'll protect you from hurt no matter the cost." Which is why I can't tell you guys that I'm a ticking bomb about to explode.
"Yeah... We know but sometimes even a care giver needs care whenever he/she is in trouble. Remember never to carry so much burden alone 'cause sometimes it becomes lighter when you share them." Scarlett said like a psychic. I wish I could tell her how right she is about me carrying so much burden and also how wrong she is about sharing it. Some burdens are best carried alone, no matter how heavy they are.
"Oh my gosh, I just sounded like a psychiatrist. That's usually Brittany's part. What's happening today? Why is everything going haywire?" Scarlett said in mock horror. Scarlett is truly a drama queen, thank goodness she knows that and is going towards that direction in college. She wants to study performing arts and I couldn't agree more with her choice, and her parents are in support too.
Brittany glared at Scarlett and turned to me, "All we're trying to say is we've got your back anytime."
"And we are not going anywhere. We'll always be here for you!"
Scarlett yelled as she put her head out the car top and threw me air kisses as Brittany drove away while using her left hand to wave goodbye.
Tears brimmed in my eyes as I opened the gate.
When I got inside the house, I discovered no one was at home. I hurriedly ran up to my room and let out the tears I've been holding in since the argument with Mason.
When Brittany and Scarlett told me they're here for me no matter what, I felt touched and really glad. It brought back the tears in my eyes.
I know I told Mrs Levinson that I have accepted fate's blow, it's just that moments like the one I just had with Scarlett and Brittany makes me wish that I had a choice and the sickness wasn't just dropped on me, giving me no choice whether to accept or decline.
I cried as I remembered the news I got two months ago that changed my life forever.
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