Despite accepting that I had indeed done the right thing, I felt somewhat hollow as I changed for the ball. Barley didn't comment on it, which was good, but left me sitting with Ib in the few minutes before I needed to go down.

There had been a letter received this evening from the Definis "terrorists" as they were now being called. Father had allowed me to read it first, but I didn't want to, not yet. The time I had to myself I just spent stroking my dog, who tried to snuggle herself into my chest. The hound sprung up as there was a knock on the door and she ran over to greet Fana, who stepped in when Barley opened the door.

"Ready?" My brother asked, looking up from stroking Ib to smile sympathetically at me. So father had told him then.

I nodded and stood up - the second I did Barley attacked me with a roller in an attempt to remove some of the white hairs the dog had left on my clothes. I nodded to him as I left, Ib grouchily stalking back over to the window.

Fana opened his mouth to say something and I worried he'd comment on my killing my friends. He didn't, thankfully. "So is Lady Bence going to faint again tonight? Or will she suddenly suffer from food poisoning? That's awfully inelegant. Maybe a sabotaged dress? Though you wouldn't get to carry her out that way would you? What's it to be tonight?"

I smirked at him. "I don't know what you mean."

"She's clearly a clueless country girl, Rili. Though that's all part of your scheme isn't it, brother dear." He bumped into my shoulder.

I leaned down to him and hissed. "No one likes a know it all." I especially didn't like a know it all, but didn't want to question how he'd figured out my plan right at that second. After a moment's pause, I started a new conversation. "Who are you going to take for Pavanne tonight?"

Fana shrugged. "Father's getting me to take Angel again. Other than that I'm free just to do the rounds. There's a few gaps in my knowledge tonight could fill." He kept his gaze straight ahead, his eyes short of the sparkle they normally wore. "Oh yes are you going to be on your Lady Love all evening or can I steal her for a dance?"

I tried not to scowl as we turned the corner to approach our parents. "One Waltz. The second, I'll be doing the duty rounds. Any others and I'll prize you off of her."

My brother grinned and clapped me on the back, bounding over to mother and father, neither of whom seemed particularly amused.

When I got to father he extended his hand for me to shake. I did so, holding his gaze. "Be brave, son." He murmured. Mother kissed my cheek and then they resumed the statuesque positions as we were announced and the doors opened.

The walk down the steps, down to Evie, was a slow blur of concentration, fully having to focus to keep my face locked. I realised with a jolt that I'd have to choose between keeping my face straight and not crying, and actually enjoying leading Evie through the dance all night.

Everyone would be watching me either way.

I lead her round to take our position, and the feline girl on my arm stood up on her tiptoes to whisper to me, "Don't be nervous. I've been practicing this one all afternoon." I forged a smile on when I looked back down at her, then kept it on as I looked back up, the music starting.

The night dragged on in that fashion, as there were so few men in comparison to women I barely got a reprieve from dancing. I came dangerously close to snapping at Elena when she wouldn't stop trying to flirt with me.

Eventually it got to the closing waltz, somewhere around ten o'clock. Having Evie in my hold again gave me leave to let my emotions slip a little, but still not enough to fully enjoy our dance as I had in my study.

Midway through, she leaned in slightly closer to me again. "I'm sorry." She spoke quietly.

I looked down to her, concerned as to why she felt the need to apologise.

"You don't seem happy with me. I really tried tonight. I'm sorry I'm not everything I should be." Her words sent a chill down my spine, the tone of her voice terrifyingly reminiscent of that I'd heard from Ottilie to Kent last winter.

I squeezed Evie's hand, desperate to let her know that she had done no wrong. "I'm so so sorry you think that. It's not true at all." I let the music reach its crescendo. "Please let me explain. I'll be over to your suite as soon as I'm out of here." I looked down into her eyes, trying to see if there was scope for forgiveness in their brown depths.

"Al...right." She spoke softly again, before curtseying out of custom. She went back across the dance floor to join Cecily, and I turned slowly back to walk across to my parents and my brother. The second I heard their doors close in for the night, I shot back out, down through the service corridors, Barley didn't even have time to stop me.

I suddenly froze in my tracks as I realised that I'd only look worse if I turned up, having ruined the evening, with no offering of goodwill, so I raced back to my room and dug out the little bundle I kept underneath my bed, hissing a warning for Barley not to stop me. I quite abruptly barged into the kitchens, instructing them to make up a cheese platter & bring it to Evie's room, then I took the stairs two at a time up to the Debutante wing.

I bumped into Jemima the maid just outside the door to Evie's suite. The maid squeaked in fear and ducked out of the way, so I apologised profusely before asking for her key to unlock the door. Then I readied myself to step inside, knowing just how important this conversation was.