Evie was quiet for a long while after my outburst. It was good. It gave me time to think.

We really would have to wait until we were in the royal demesne before we could think of killing King Thomas, I'd need to scout the area, his habits, everything. Perhaps if I suffocated him with a pillow his death might seem natural.

All I could do was wait though.

We only saw fields almost all day. Wheat fields, barley fields, rapeseed fields. There were wooden posts at the border of each new field denoting which farmer it belonged to and what was permitted to grow there. A line of trees by each field separated them. The day turned to night and soon we were riding under the stars.

"Ganechka I'm sorry." Evie called, exasperated like she had been trying to say it for a while. "Can we stop?"

I turned, to see her behind me, yawning into her hand.

"Of course." I smiled at her. She may not be the smartest when it comes to war games, but god I loved that girl. "Let's just get to that treeline, there doesn't seem to be anything growing in that field and..." I chuckled to myself, "trees can be very comfortable."

So we rode to the treeline. Evie allowed me to help her down this time, then I took the horses to a tree and got out their foldable water trough. Whilst they drank, I cast my eyes out over the field. Almost all the grass was gone, mud churned up all down the steep hill.

"Ganechka." A small voice spoke behind me. "Ganechka." Evie snapped again. I turned to her. Her hand was outstretched and tears were brimming in her eyes. I let her lead me over to the wooden post. It had been knocked down and splintered, I had to lift it to read what it said. The moonlight illuminated it just enough to read the large lettering at the top.

This goes to state that Farmer Gringle may -

"Is this Gringle field?" Evie whispered. I nodded solemnly, pulling her into my arms. She let out a sob and I nearly did too, looking out over the field where my men died, where my Tommy died.

Here was where I failed. It had occurred to me since that my plan had not failed as a result of a spy tipping us off, as Fana had said, seeing as there never was any spy. Maybe that was why father had wanted to test my allegiance, as a result of militarian stupidity. Perhaps if this plan hadn't failed so horribly he would've trusted me to inherit his crown. I'm good enough, I know I am.

"This is where Nick died." Evie whispered. I nodded against her head, stroking my hand through her tangled hair. "This. This is where his life ended. This field." I nodded again, the corners of my eyes stinging and my head aching like mad.

"I'm so, so sorry." I murmured, having to keep my voice low to avoid sobbing. "I failed. I really failed." She nodded against my back, condemning me.

"This is why we've traveled all this way." Evie spoke so low it almost sounded like a growl. "We've come here to avenge them. To stop this war. We'll make it happen Ganechka. I know we will." She faced me, holding my face in her hands.

We passed the night on the ground in the tree line where Nicholas's 14th regiment probably wrote their last letters, sang their last songs, loaded their guns for the last time.

As we lay together I knew exactly how they must've felt, because I'd felt it too. If I had just let father ignore me in that council session, just shut up, kept quiet. But I didn't. Because I didn't, so many people died, we lost so much.

"Gan." Evie murmured sleepily from beside me. "Gan!" She spoke louder.

"What?" I hissed, in the middle of a thought.

"Why are you fidgeting so much? Come to sleep."

"I'm not fidgeting." I frowned.

"Oh yeah then why is your boot halfway undone?" She challenged me, sleep in her eyes.

"Shit. I didn't even realise." I murmured, pulling it back on. "I'm sorry, Eve." She went quiet again so I finished buttoning them up. Then I needed the feel of the smooth buttons beneath my fingers so I undid them. Then they needed to go back up and Fana and I unbuttoned them again and Father and my crown and

"Gavrila." Evie grabbed my shoulders. "What are you doing?"

"S-sorry." I mumbled, my head feeling heavy on my neck, my fingers itching. "It's a coping - coping mechanism. I have to -"

"You don't have to do shit." Evie hissed, her forehead was against mine, her calm breathing combating my ragged.

"The boots help me calm -"

"Well they're not helping you, Ganechka." Evie whispered softly. I had barely noticed how she was removing the boots from my feet altogether. "Just lay down with me, kiss me, calm yourself. How's your chest?"

"It's... It's alright." I admitted, my mind falling into a numb but welcome pace as I focused on how the heartbeat in my scars felt.

"Tell me five things you can feel right now." Evie whispered.

I thought about it for a long moment. "Th-the grass."

"What does it feel like?"

"It's - it's cold, soft. I can smell it. It smells fresh."

"What else can you feel?"

"Your - your hair."

"How does that feel?"

"Silky... In places. Rough, tan-tangled, knotted. Thick. Heavy. Soft. It's soft at your head."

"Good." Evie whispered, her lips against my ear. "Do you feel any better?"

I nodded quickly, on instict, then again, slowly. I nodded again when I realised that I really did feel calm.

"Lay down with me." Evie murmured, pulling my body down and curling herself into my chest. "I'm here for you, Ganechka. I'll always be here for you."

"Always? Because I can't do this without you." I admitted, holding her closer.

"Always." She fired back. "Now close your eyes." Her fingers lightly traced the line from my forehead to my nose, her voice hummed a light tune as she did so. "Sleep." She whispered.