Buffy had moved into Willow and Tara's old room because we all knew that it would be impossible for Willow to stay in that room after what happened to Tara, so Willow was moving into Buffy's old room.

Dawn was helping Willow unpack her things. "My advice to you is do exactly what everyone else does all the time."

Willow nodded. "Got it."

"Do what everyone else does, wear what everyone else wears, say what everyone else says," Dawn told her.

Willow looked at her in amusement. "Okay."

"People may say something to you you don't understand," Dawn told her. "Just don't be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend like you know what they're saying."

Willow laughed. "You know, Dawn, I've been to college before."

Dawn smiled. "People may say something like, 'My protein window closes in an hour'. Just nod and smile. Mm-hmm. Turns out it has something to do with fitness."

Buffy, Xander and I were carrying boxes into the room, talking about Anya.

"Have you talked to her lately?" I asked.

"Not since that night with the Gnarl demon," Xander answered. "And that wasn't exactly the kind of 'how have you been' kind of talk. More of the 'pierce its eye with something sharp' kind of talking. I'm thinking I should call her."

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up," Buffy told him.

"Hopes?" Xander asked. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no. There are no hopes. Anya and I are done. I love being single. I'm a strong, successful male who is giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future."

"Strong, successful males say 'giddy'?" I asked sarcastically.

"I just worry about her, that's all," Xander told us.

"Anya?" Willow asked.

"Yeah," Xander answered. "She seems so sad."

"She should try acting like everybody else more," Dawn told us.

"Apparently it's what all the kids are doing nowadays," I told them.

"Well, I'm not sure I get the sad vibe, but there's definitely a vengeance vibe worth worrying about," Buffy told us.

"Oh, that?" Xander asked. "No, no, I don't worry about that. She was hurt and she just turned back to what she knew when I... you know. But that's not her anymore."

"I hope you're right," Buffy told him.

"Well, she turned that worm guy back before any real damage happened, right?" Xander asked. "It'll just take some time. I really think she's coming around."

•••••••

The next day, I went to the school basement to check on Spike, seeing that he was sitting on the floor with his back to a chain link fence that was separating one area from another, seeming more coherent and mentally stable than he had been recently. "I don't trust what I see anymore. I don't know how to explain it, exactly. It's like I've been seeing things. Dru used to see things, you okay? She'd always be staring up at the sky watching cherubs burn or the heavens bleed or some nonsense. I used to stare at her and think she'd gone completely sack of hammers. But she'd see the sky when we were inside and it'd make her so happy. She'd see showers. She'd see stars. Now I see her."

I walked closer. "Spike."

"I'm in trouble, Zoey," Spike told me.

"I can help you," I told him.

Spike shook his head. "I could never ask."

"It's different," I told him. "You're different."

"I could never ask," Spike repeated.

"Spike, it's me," I told him. "It's you, and it's me, and we'll get through this."

Spike nervously pulled at his hair. "Never."

I grabbed his hand before he could hit himself again, holding it in front of us. "Spike. This basement is kill you. This is the Hellmouth. There is something bad down here, possibly everything bad."

Spike laughed. "Scream monster all you like, pet."

I sighed patiently, taking his other hand to help him up. "Get up and get out of this basement."

Spike frowned. "I don't have anywhere else to go."

•••••••

Buffy and Willow called me and Xander telling us about a big spider demon that had killed a frat house full of men and women that had been humiliating a girl.

Buffy, Xander and I were walking through the woods leading to the campus to look for the thing. I was carrying a sword, and Buffy was carrying her battle ax.

I looked at Xander. "Thanks for side-kicking. We didn't want to trouble Willow. Figure she's got enough to do. First day back at school and all."

"Are you kidding?" Xander asked. "We're doing vent work at the site. Anything's better than breathing freon for eight hours. So, did she say what this thing is?"

"Some sort of spider demony thing," Buffy answered. "She had to go pretty quickly. I think she had to sign up for classes or something."

"Ah, yes, there is little that can distract the Willow when she's on the hunt for the mighty syllabi," Xander told us.

"I don't know," Buffy told us. "I guess she was a little more nervous than she was letting on."

We came across a boy's body. The heart had been ripped out.

I looked around. "How big did she say this thing was?"

"She didn't," Buffy answered. "But I can't imagine she'd send us out if it wasn't... the heart is completely ripped out. This is our guy."

"Or a copycat spider demon," Xander told us. "So what's this black stuff." He touched black stringy things hanging on the nearby tree. "Aw, it's sticky."

"Willow said it was a spider demon," I told them. "Maybe it's its webbing."

"This isn't springy high-flying fun," Xander told us.

We heard a noise coming from the tree above, like something was moving around in it, looking up.

"Xander..." Buffy trailed off. "Zoey..."

"Is that it?" Xander asked.

"I can't tell," Buffy told us. "There is definitely something moving up there."

"Maybe we can somehow lure it," I told them. One of the sticky black webs was shot down from the tree, landing on Xander's shoulder. He dove out of the way. "Xander!" The spider jumped out of the tree, knocking Buffy down to the ground, landing on top of her. Buffy squirmed, trying to get free. I swung my sword at the spider as it was about to bite Buffy in the face, flinging him off, delivering a nasty cut in its face, but it wasn't as fatal as I hoped it would be. The spider demon scurried away. I helped Buffy and Xander up, looking around. "You guys okay?"

"Zoey, where'd it go?" Xander asked. "I think we need more swords."

Buffy looked up to the tree. "Uh-huh."

"I saw we go home, pick up more swords, and some sort of spidery demon protection amulet," Xander told us. "We come back, and--" Buffy never stopped tracking the spider demon in the tree, throwing her battle ax up into the treetop. The spider fell to the ground with the ax in it, dead. "Or..."

•••••••

Buffy, Xander and I made it back to Buffy's house, walking in.

"I'm more concerned with where that thing came from," Buffy told us. "If there are more of those spider demons running around, we need to know about it. We should hit the research, find out if--"

We walked into the living room.

Willow was waiting for us. "I know where it came from."

•••••••

We were all sitting down now, with Willow having told us that Anya had been the one to conjure the spider demon, and more, to kill those people in the frat house.

"How many?" I asked.

"Ten, twelve," Willow answered.

"When were you planning on telling us?" Xander asked.

"I'm telling you now," Willow told us.

"Great," I told her sarcastically. "Thank you. Willow, it's Anya. How could you let us... how could you not have told us?"

"Zoey..." Buffy trailed off.

"How could you not have told me?" Xander asked.

"Xander, it's okay," Buffy told him. "She didn't tell us for a reason. She didn't tell us because she knows what I have to do." We looked at her. "I have to kill Anya."

•••••••

We were talking about Buffy's decision to kill Anya, and how Xander and I were against it.

"She's not the Anya that you knew, Xander," Buffy told him. "She's a demon."

"That doesn't mean you have to kill her," Xander told her.

"Don't act like this is easy for me," Buffy told him. "You know it's not."

"There are other options," I told them.

"I've considered them," Buffy told us.

"When?" I asked. "Just now? Took you all of ten seconds to decide to kill one of your best friends."

"The thought that it might come to this occurred to me before, Zoey," Buffy told me. "It's occurred to you, too."

"But we can change what she did," Xander told us. "Fix it. These are mystical deaths, right? There has to be something."

"I don't have anywhere near that kind of power," Willow told us. "I didn't have that kind of power when... and I--I don't think I trust the power I do have."

"It's okay," I told her.

"Xander, I know this is hard for you to hear, but it's what I have to do," Buffy told him.

"Hard for me to hear?" Xander repeated incredulously. "Buffy, you wanna kill Anya."

"I don't want to," Buffy told us.

"Then don't," I told her. "This isn't new ground for us. When our friends go all crazy and start killing people, we help them."

"Sitting right here," Willow told us.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "But it's true."

"It's different," Buffy told us.

I shook my head. "No, it's really not."

"You don't care about her the same way I do," Xander told us. "I still love her."

"I know," Buffy told him. "And that's why you can't see this for what it really is. Willow was different. She's a human. Anya's a demon."

"And just because you and I are Slayers doesn't make it simple for us to make the choices on which best friends to kill," I told her.

"It is never simple," Buffy told us.

Xander stood. "No, of course not." He looked at me. "You know, if there's a mass-murdering demon that you're, oh, say, boning, then it's all gray area, like this gray area for you, Zoey, when it comes to both Spike and Anya."

"Spike was harmless," I told them. "He was helping."

"He had no choice," Xander told me.

"He chose to get his soul," I told them. "How about that for choice?" I turned to Buffy. "Not even Angel could say that for himself, because both times that he got his soul, he had to be cursed with it, by force."

"But Anya did have a choice," Buffy told us. "She chose to become a demon. Twice."

"You have no idea what she's going through," Xander told us.

Buffy stood angrily. "I don't care what she's going through!"

"No, of course not," Xander told her. "You think we haven't seen all this before? The part where you just cut us all out. Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law. If you knew what I felt--"

"I killed Angel," Buffy told us. "Do you even remember that? I would have given up everything I had to be with... I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life. And I put a sword through his heart because I had to."

"And that all worked out okay," Willow told us sarcastically.

"Do you remember cheering me on?" Buffy asked. "All of you." She looked at Xander. "Do you remember giving me Zoey and Willow's message? Kick his ass."

Willow and I were confused, looking at Xander, then Buffy.

"We never said that," Willow told her.

"This is different," Xander told us.

"It is always different," Buffy told us. "It's always complicated. And at some point, someone has to draw the line, and that is always going to be the Slayers, and if Zoey can't draw that line, then I will. Zoey, you've cut yourself off from the rest of us once before, too."

"When I had been just brought back from the dead," I replied.

"That's the point," Buffy told me. "In the end, the Slayers are always cut off. There's no mystical guidebook. No all-knowing Council. Human rules don't apply. There's only us. We are the law."

I shook my head, standing. "There has to be another way."

"Then please find it," Buffy told us.

Xander gave Buffy a look, walking out of the house.

Buffy walked toward the weapons chest, pulling out her sword, turning to me, giving me a look as if asking for me to come.

I shook my head. "I can't. I'm sorry."

Buffy sighed in defeat, walking out of the house.

Willow stood, turning to me. "Zoey, I think I have an idea that can save Anya, but stop the killing at the same time."

I looked at Willow in relief, nodding.

•••••••

Willow and I were summoning D'Hoffryn to get him here to talk about Anya.

Willow poured sand on the floor in a circle, holding an amulet, chanting. "Beatum sit in nomine D'Hoffrynis. Fiat hoc spatium porta ad mundum. Arashmaharris."

In a bright flash of light, D'Hoffryn appeared, facing away from us. "Behold, D'Hoffyrn. Lord of Arashmahar. He that turns the air to blood and rains." He turned to face us, seeing who we were, stopping the dramatics. "Miss Rosenburg. Miss Francis. How lovely to see the two of you again. Have you done something with your hair?"

"Hello, D'Hoffryn," I told him.

"I figured I'd be hearing from you soon, Willow," D'Hoffryn told her. "The flaying of Warren Meers? Oh, truly inspired. That was water cooler vengeance. Lloyd has a sketch of it on his wall."

"That's not me anymore," Willow told him.

"Is that right?" D'Hoffryn asked. "So, I didn't feel your presence earlier today? I didn't feel a bit of the old you?"

I looked at Willow, knowing that he meant what Willow told us about when she had used magic to deflect one of the spider demons to stop it from killing her and a woman, when her eyes had gone black for a second, but she had been able to control herself. Willow looked down nervously.

I looked at D'Hoffryn, giving him a look. "We need to talk about Anya."

D'Hoffryn sighed. "Very well. Let's talk about Anyanka."

•••••••

I knew that Buffy was going to go through Xander to kill Anya if she had to, getting to the school campus as fast as I could, seeing the fight in a frat house.

Xander was unconscious on the floor.

Buffy had just stabbed Anya through the heart with her sword.

Anya was slumped, but pinned to the wall by sword.

I stopped in the doorway, shocked. "Anya!"

Anya's face was tear-streaked and bloody. She gasped for air, opening her eyes. She looked down at the sword in her chest. "Forgotten how much swords through the chest hurt." She pulled it out, groaning, breathing heavily in pain. "You know better than that, Buffy. It takes a lot more to kill a vengeance demon."

"Oh, I'm just getting started," Buffy told her.

Anya came at Buffy with the sword. Buffy ducked, pushing a stool at her, knocking her off balance, making her fall to the floor and drop the sword, pinning Anya down, grabbing the sword to stab Anya again. I ran closer to push Buffy off of Anya to the floor. We all stood to face each other.

"Stop trying to save me, Zoey," Anya told me.

I stood between Buffy and Anya to keep them apart, a hand held toward either of them to stop them from fighting again. "Just wait a second, okay?"

Xander was starting to wake up.

Lightning flashed into the room, knocking everyone down, all of us falling.

D'Hoffryn appeared. "Oh, please don't mind me. Continue with whatever it was you were doing." He walked to look in an adjacent room. "Oh, breathtaking. It's like somebody slaughtered an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog." Buffy stood, grabbing her sword. "Easy now. I'd be gone before you could swing." I stood, sighing impatiently. D'Hoffryn offered a hand to Anya to help her stand. "Isn't that just like a Slayer? Solving all her problems by sticking things with sharp objects. Except for you, Miss Francis. You're different, you and your friend, Miss Rosenberg. She's a firebrand. I have high hopes for her."

"Stay away from Willow," Xander told him angrily.

D'Hoffryn looked at Anya. "Oh, he's gallant, isn't he? I understand what you saw him?" He looked at me. "Your friends Zoey and Willow seem to think Anyanka would be better suited outside the vengeance fold." He looked at Buffy. "I think we already know what Lady Hacks Away wants." He looked at Xander. "And the young man, he sees with the eyeballs of love. But I'm not sure if anyone's bothered to find out what Anyanka herself really wants."

"Her name is Anya," Xander told him.

"Actually, funny historical side bar," D'Hoffryn told us. "Her original name was--"

Anya was crying. "I wanna take it back."

"I'm sorry," D'Hoffryn told her. "What was that?"

"I wanna take it back," Anya answered. "I wanna undo what I did."

"Hmm, you want to take it back," D'Hoffryn repeated. "Must be twelve bodies in there. Such a thing, not easily done. But not impossible. You're a big girl, Anyanka. You understand how this works. The proverbial scales must balance. In order to restore the lives of the victims, the fates require a sacrifice. The life and soul of a vengeance demon."

"Do it," Anya told him.

"Wait!" Xander told us.

"Stay out of this, Xander," Anya told him.

"Okay, all right," Xander told her sarcastically. "That seems smart. He just said you have to die. Perhaps there's some sort of alternate price."

"Xander, you can't help me," Anya told him. "I'm not even sure there's a me to help." She looked at D'Hoffryn. "I understand the price. Do it."

'You're sure?" D'Hoffryn asked. "This is your wish?"

"This is my wish," Anya answered. "Undo what I did."

"Very well," D'Hoffryn told us, gesturing with his hand, and a flash of light appeared.

"No!" Xander told him.

Where the flash was, Halfrek showed up, smiling sweetly. "Anya."

Anya looked at D'Hoffryn, realizing what he was going do. "Hallie!"

Halfrek burst into flames, light shooting out of her eyes, shrieking as she was destroyed, out of existence, horrifying and shocking Buffy, Xander, Anya and me.

Anya started to cry.

"Who did you think you were dealing with?" D'Hoffryn asked. "Did you think it would be that easy to get away?"

"Why?" Anya asked.

"Why?" D'Hoffryn asked. "Because you wished it."

"But she was yours," Anya told him.

"Like you were mine?" D'Hoffryn asked. "Haven't I taught you anything, Anya? Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain." Xander started for D'Hoffryn, but Buffy and I stopped him. "Hold him back, Slayers. Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt. I've got plenty of girls. There will always be vengeance demons. But now, you, Anya, you're out. Congratulations. Your wish is granted."

"You should've killed me," Anya told him.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," D'Hoffryn told her. "From beneath you, it devours. Be patient. All good things in time."

In a flash, D'Hoffryn disappeared. Anya looked at Buffy, Xander and me, walking out of the house.

I looked at Xander, nodding for him to go after Anya to make sure she was okay. "Go. We'll check on the boys."

Xander nodded, running after Anya.

Buffy looked at me, stunned, but I walked away to check on the boys in the next room, who were all starting to come back because of Halfrek's sacrifice.

I hadn't wanted Anya to die, or to lose a friend...

Whatever happened, even if Anya was out now, even if she was human... it didn't feel like a win to me.